Sadness filled her. “I can’t let myself be beaten.”
“No,” he sternly said. “Never beaten. Not like what you think.” He looked like he was trying to figure out how to word it. “I guess it is hard to process if you don’t understand what I mean.”
“Show me.”
He studied her carefully, watchfully. “You say that, but you don’t understand.”
“Then show me. Let me decide if it’s too much. Show me what it might be like, and let me make up my mind about it.”
“After what you’ve been through—”
“If I ask you to stop, will you? If you show me, and it’s too much for me, and I ask you to stop, will you stop?”
“Yes.”
“Then show me.”
“It’s not like that all the time, though. You won’t be able to safeword your way out of a spanking if it’s what I’ve decided you’ll have for punishment for breaking a rule.”
“Okay. Then show me your worst.”
His expression clouded. “I never want to show you that. Ever.”
“Then show me what I need to see to make up my mind.”
“But—”
“They didn’t stop. They didn’t ask me what I wanted. I’m telling you what I want. If nothing else, I want a good memory in my brain. I want a memory of your hands on me, of your lips on me. I want that memory to carry with me, always, even if I decide I can’t do this.”
“You’re sounding like you’re pretty sure this is what you want,” he said.
“Yeah,” she quietly said. “Because you’re already sounding pretty sure I’m who you want.”
“I do want you. More than you know. But I also know—”
“Show me.”
After contemplation, he finally stood and held his hands out to her, helping her stand.
“For tonight,” he said, “if you need me to stop, you say red. If I ask how you’re doing, you say green, yellow, or red. Just like a stop light.”
“Okay.”
“Yes, Sir,” he corrected.
She swallowed. “Yes, Sir,” she whispered.
He smiled. “That’s my good girl. If you decide you want this, when we’re alone, you’ll address me as Sir.”
That felt right to her. “Yes, Sir.”
He let out a soft noise she thought sounded like a groan. “Baby, you keep saying that, I’m not going to want you to stop.”
She smiled. “Yes, Sir.”
He placed one of her hands over the front of his jeans, where he now sported a very sizable bulge. “See, that’s what that does to me. This is why I need it. One of the reasons. Beyond it’s part of who I am. I’m a leader, not a follower.” He squeezed her hand over his cock. “It’s just the way I am.”
“You said you wouldn’t force me to stay, but that you won’t get divorced.”
“If I marry you, it’s for life. But if you decide you want out, you have to be the one to leave. I won’t keep you with me, I won’t make you stay, I won’t sabotage your leaving. But you have to be the one to do it, because once I make a promise to you for life, to love and protect you, I mean it. Do you understand?”
Her insides fluttered in a good way. “Yes, Sir.”
* * * *
Dammit, if she kept saying that, there was no fucking way in hell Ross would ever let her go again.
Not if he had anything to say about it.
He loved her. He knew he was in love with her. He hated that he waited to make a move, to let her know he liked her.
He felt responsible for what had happened to her. If he’d told her sooner how he felt, instead of being a dumbass and waiting, maybe it never would have happened.
Unfortunately, he’d let fear rule his actions, afraid of scaring her off, thinking that would be the worst thing that could happen.
How wrong he’d been.
There were far worse things. And she’d paid the price for his reticence.
He released her hand and stepped back. “Undress,” he softly said.
She stared at him for only a second before she pulled off her oversized T-shirt. Then she hooked her fingers in the waistband of her panties and pulled them down, too.
Gorgeous. Perfect. She wasn’t a skinny twig, one of those girls who always hit the fitness center or ran themselves ragged, or starved themselves.
His cock screamed to get free.
Taking a slow, deep breath, he circled her, stopping behind her. “Arms at your sides,” he softly said, barely trusting his voice.
She complied.
“When I ask you to undress, unless I tell you something different, you’ll stand and wait for me just like this. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Fuck. She was beyond sexy, and she had no clue. That was even more debilitating to his reserve, that she was utterly in the dark about the pull, the power she had over him.
He stepped in behind her, his hands on her hips, pulling her ass against his cock. Leaning in so he could whisper in her ear, he said, “If you really want to be with me, I will own you. Body, heart, and soul. That means if I want to slide my cock between your lips or up that beautiful ass of yours, I will. Can you accept that?”
“Only if you don’t go from my ass right to my mouth. Sir,” she added.
He laughed. “Ew. Yeah, that won’t happen. Don’t worry. See? That’s good. That was a discussion about a hard limit. There will be times I’ll ask you for your hard limit, and I will respect it.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
He caressed her, slowly sliding his fingertips up her arms. “I have no desire to break or harm you, baby. I only want to own you. And I don’t break my toys.”
“Am I just a toy to you?”
He froze. “Sorry. Bad choice of words on my part.” He turned her to face him, cradling her chin in his hands again. “I love you,” he whispered. “And I wish like hell I’d said it sooner. You’re the center of my universe. The only woman I want. I just need to know you can live the way I have to live and be okay with it.”
He caught her soft gasp. “I love you, too, Sir,” she said.
Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against hers. “Then I just guess we’re going to have to figure out how to make this work for us, aren’t we?”
“Yes, Sir. That’s what I want.”
Chapter Ten
Ross laced his fingers through Loren’s and led her to the bedroom, leaving her standing near the end of the bed. Loren’s heart raced, fear and love and excitement mixing and melding and becoming a delicious, sexy haze clouding her mind and making her clit throb and her juices flow.
Then Ross pointed at the floor and snapped his fingers.
Loren sank to her knees, her eyes on him.
His smile twisted her heart around his soul. Anything he wanted, she’d do it. She trusted him.
At any time before now, he could have easily seduced her, taken advantage of her, and he hadn’t. He had never harmed her.
And, instinctively, she knew he would rather die than harm her.
He stepped over to her and her face was at cock level. The bulge in his jeans was perfectly positioned, she could nuzzle it, if she wanted to.
He stroked her hair, eventually gathering a handful of it in his left hand, tenderly fisting it, not hurting her, but definitely in control.
“Unfasten my jeans, baby,” he said. “Take it out.”
With trembling hands she did, wanting to not mess this up, wanting to please him.
He made a soft, low sound when her fingers touched his flesh, his cock rigid as she fished it out of his briefs. She wanted to immediately engulf it with her mouth, but his hand in her hair prevented that.
“Just open your lips, baby. You let me drive. Keep your hands palms-down on your thighs.
She complied, waiting.
He smiled down at her. “My good girl.”
She knew from that moment on that, besides his sexy smile, she’d do anything to hear him coo those three words.
Three. Little. Words.
With just the tip of his cock between her lips, she flicked her tongue against the head, along the slit, tasting salty pre-cum. She wanted more, wanted it all.
Another low hiss escaped him. “I don’t want to blow, baby. Take it slow. Take it easy.”
He took his time sliding his cock into her mouth, holding her in place by the hair. She didn’t miss the fact that he was careful, gentle, going slow, not wanting to gag her on it.
His eyes never left hers. “There might be times where I make you kneel there and give me a long, slow blow job, baby. You going to be okay with that?”
She couldn’t nod her head very much, but she hoped he understood yes, she was really okay with that. She wanted this, wanted him.
With his free hand, he stroked her hair. “There might be nights where I get home, and all I want is to sit down with my cock in your mouth while I stare at you. Or I might tie you up and fuck you until you come so many times you beg me for mercy. Or I might put you over my lap and spank that gorgeous ass of yours until it’s nice and pink before I bend you over the bed and fuck you silly. You going to be okay with that, baby?”
She couldn’t speak with his cock down her throat, so she nodded,
He smiled, playful, tender. “I need this not just to be in charge, but so I can protect you. Take care of you. I want you to be your own person, strong, able to take care of yourself when I’m not around. But when we’re together, I’m in charge. You follow me, you let me take care of you. I slay the dragons. It’s not just about ordering you around. It’s about all of it. It means I make a promise to you, for life, to always take care of you. Protect you. This isn’t just a one-sided you give and I take deal.”
He withdrew his cock until just the tip remained between her lips. Desperately, she licked and sucked at it, trying to get him to let her work on it again. All she wanted to do was please him.
Yes, he’d protect her. He had protected her. If she hadn’t gone to that party, that night wouldn’t have happened.
But that wasn’t his fault.
And he’d made things right.
Caressing her cheek with his free hand, he smiled down at her. “Unless it’s cold, baby, or we have guests, you stay naked when we’re together alone at home. Understand?”
She nodded.
He eased his cock between her lips again, his moan matching hers as he filled her mouth.
“Such a good girl,” he whispered. “My good girl.”
Who was she kidding? She was in love with him. Maybe she had been from the very beginning. No way in hell would she leave him. Ever.
Never.
Then he pulled her off his cock, tipping her head back and staring down at her. “Time for my good girl to get her spanking.”
Her heart raced, fear and passion twined together. “Yes, Sir.”
“Are you even going to ask why?”
“Because you want me to see what it’s like.”
“Yes and no. This is a punishment.”
“For what?”
He bent and leaned in, eye-to-eye. “For going to that party without asking my permission first. You are not responsible for what happened, and I do not blame you. I blame myself for not telling you all this sooner. I wasn’t able to protect you, and that’s my fault. From this point forward, unless it’s to work, class, or the store, unless I’ve cleared it first, you ask me before you go without me. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Unless it’s somewhere with Emily or Mark, of course. They’re the exception. If you’re with them, it’s okay as long as you’re with them. I’m sure over the years we’ll have more exemptions, but for now, you ask first.”
She smiled.
“What’s the smile for?” he asked.
“You’re talking as if this is a sure thing.”
He kissed her, hard, slanting his mouth over hers and taking her breath away, controlling her with the hand in her hair. When he finally lifted his mouth from hers, his voice sounded hoarse, barely controlled. “That’s because you’re mine, and I’ll be damned if I’ll ever let anyone ever hurt you again. Do you understand me?”
She felt weak, but in a good way, a feather in the face of his hurricane.
She was happy to be swept away by him.
“Yes, Sir,” she said.
He pulled her to her feet and over to the bed, where he sat and hauled her over his lap, facedown.
His left hand still remained fisted in her hair as he stroked her ass with his right. “You’re going to take this spanking for me, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Yes, Sir.”
“It’s going to hurt,” he said. “Because I want you to remember how much it hurts next time you even think about disobeying me. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“You’re going to cry, and you’re going to feel it tomorrow every time you sit down. You’re going to remember this spanking for a very, very long time. Every time you sit, you’ll remember who this ass belongs to. Who you belong to. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He didn’t even give her time to think about it. The first hit, hard, landed on her left ass cheek. She gasped but then he was smacking her ass, back and forth, hard, stinging smacks that got harder with each swat until she was crying and twisting across his lap.
He paused, his hand on her flesh. “Legs down,” he ordered. “Don’t you ever try to stop me when I’m punishing you. I have to make sure you understand the rules. It’s the only way I can keep you safe, baby.”
Through sheer force of will, she forced her legs straight again. He immediately started spanking her once more, and she found herself burying her face against the bedspread to muffle her howls of pain.
She didn’t know how long the spanking lasted, or how many swats he gave her. But one second he was spanking her, and the next his hand was between her legs, playing with her clit.
“You’re wet, baby. I don’t know if that was from earlier, or from the spanking, but it doesn’t matter. It won’t be long before you’re wet for me regardless.” He slid his thumb inside her pussy, two fingers playing with her clit.
Her sniffles transformed to moans and she spread her legs wider for him.
“That’s my good girl,” he said. “Nice red ass, reminded who’s in charge, who loves you. And good girls always get rewarded.”
He did something with his thumb, hooked it up, and hit a sweet spot inside her she never knew existed. The orgasm slammed into her, her back arching as she tried to hump his hand with her hips.
“There you go, sweetheart,” he softly encouraged. “I own you. I own your orgasms, I own your pain. I control it all. I want to give you as much pleasure as you can take and then some.”
Something about the way he had his thumb pressing inside her, combined with his fingers massaging her clit, kept her orgasm rolling and boiling through her.
The red-hot ass added something, too.
He kept the hand in her hair, holding her in place as he massaged her clit and her pussy, her tears now ones of pleasure. The way her nipples chafed against the bedspread only added to the intensity.
“Every punishment will always be followed by pleasure, sweetheart. I promise. But you don’t need to act out to get me to reward you. If I catch you ever doing that, you’ll remember it because I’ll use my belt on your ass.”
That thought triggered yet another wave of pleasure she had to moan and writhe her way through across his lap.
“Hmm. You really seem to like that idea,” he said, sounding amused. “You might have some masochist in you, baby. That would be perfect for both of us.” His hand sped up. “Just think, me coming home at night to fuck that sweet mouth of yours to get me nice and hard before I give you your spanking and then fuck your brains out. Showing you every day how much I love you.”
She’d never come this hard, this long. Never. And she had—before—never had any problems rubbing one out if she was horny
, either. This was the first time since then that she’d felt desire.
Fisting the covers, she moaned her way through her orgasm, the stinging in her ass already fading as she rode Ross’ hand.
“I’m going to marry you, baby,” he said. “I’m going to make you mine, and you and I are getting our happy ending. I’m going to spend the rest of our lives together taking care of you and keeping you happy. Understand?”
“Yes…Sir!”
“Such a good girl.” He did something else, changed position with his hand, and it felt like her world exploded in bright, sparkling shards of light. She bit down on the covers to stifle the scream of pleasure before she realized Ross was chuckling.
“Oh, baby. You’re a squirter. You just soaked my jeans.” She was panting, still recovering as he pulled her up off his lap and kissed her. “Go get some towels before we soak your mattress.” He turned her around and delivered a swat to her ass, getting her moving.
She could barely think, much less walk, but she made it to the closet and grabbed towels. When she returned to the bedroom, he had the bedspread pulled off and on the floor, and was stripping. The front of his jeans were soaked with a large, wet spot.
He pointed at the bed. “Put them down there,” he said. “Because I plan on fucking at least one more out of you, and we’re not going to ruin your mattress.”
She got them spread out and then he pushed her down, rolling her over onto her back as he climbed on top of her, his cock sliding home deep inside her. He grabbed her hands and held them over her head, pulling her legs up until her ankles were over his shoulders. Like that, he slowly started fucking her.
As she stared up into his eyes, she realized she’d fight anyone who tried to get between him and her. Tooth and nail. To the death, if necessary. Whatever it was about him, she knew they were meant to be together. She’d learn how to make him happy, do whatever he needed to make him happy.
Things Made Right [Suncoast Society] (Siren Publishing Sensations) Page 6
