Louisa, she thought, you're the biggest fool that ever lived. Imagine not seeing what was so glaringly obvious. The biggest mistake of her life had been caused by too much pride—and here she was, about to do it all over again, for the self-same reason.
She laughed aloud, tears blurring her vision as the house came into view. There it was, still grim and silent, but it didn't bother her this time. Jacey was in there, and that made it home.
She set her case down in the hall and walked slowly towards the door of the study. Taking a deep breath, she opened it.
Jacey looked up and she saw the raw agony in his eyes for one moment. Then he quickly masked it, looking away. 'What have you come back for?' he muttered under his breath.
Her throat stung. 'You,' she said, staring at him.
He looked up sharply, eyes narrowing. There was a very long silence, and Louisa found herself wondering if he could hear her heart beating, because she could feel it drumming through her body like a mad thing.
He sat quite still. 'What do you mean?' he asked deeply.
Tears spilled unchecked over her face. 'You,' she said huskily. 'I've come back for you. I love you, Jacey, I can't go on without you.'
He stood up slowly, his eyes never leaving her face. 'After all that's happened? After all I've done to you?'
She shook her head. 'I don't care.' Her lower lip jutted out, trembling, as she stared at him. 'I only want you. I only ever wanted you—you must know that.'
The silence seemed to stretch on endlessly between them, and she wanted him to move across to her, take her in his arms, but she knew he wouldn't move until he was sure, until he really trusted her.
'Radcliffe?' he asked deeply. 'What about him?'
Her mouth trembled. 'I was fond of him— nothing more. He was the brother I never had. I only wanted to marry him to hurt you, Jacey, to get back at you.'
His eyes were burning into hers. 'You knew I loved you. You knew I was jealous as hell. You must have known how much it would hurt me.'
She wiped at her tears with a shaking hand, her heart thudding. 'I was hurt too, Jacey.' She raised her eyes to his, her heart in them. 'I'm still hurting.'
Jacey drew a sharp, ragged breath at her expression, 'Louisa . ..' He crossed the room, taking her in his arms, holding her close while she buried her damp face in his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him, feeling the warmth of his flesh, the unsteady thud of his heart. She was back where she belonged. With Jacey.
'How did it happen?' he whispered against her hair, stroking her head with tender fingers. 'It was so good, and then it fell apart before I could lift a finger to stop it.'
Louisa was shaking now, overwhelmed by the relief she felt. Nothing they had said to each other mattered now, so long as they were together again.
She didn't care that he had been married when they met—she knew he had loved her, still loved her, and all the wives in the world would have made no difference, because the feelings were more important.
'It was both of us,' she said huskily, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder. 'We should have been more honest with each other.'
He kissed her gently on the forehead. 'We were, at first. I thought I'd never known anyone so completely before. Do you know, I'd never opened up like that to anyone in my life. But when you came along, you changed everything.'
She knew what he meant. They had been closer than any couple deserved to be. But even knowing his soul hadn't made up for not knowing his background.
She sighed. 'There should never have been any secrets.'
His arms tightened around her. 'There never will be again,' he said deeply.
His mouth sought hers hesitantly, his kiss gentle, exploring as his fingers slid to her waist, holding her tighter against him. Then the kiss deepened and her heart raced, her pulses drumming like thunder as she slid her arms around his neck, clinging to him like a limpet, touching his hair with trembling fingers.
He drew away with a deep breath, studying her with eyes so tender she thought they might melt her.
'I love you,' he said huskily.
Louisa nodded 'I know,' her eyes locked into his, 'and I wouldn't leave here if the devil himself asked me to.'
'He just might,' Jacey murmured, lips against hers. 'We have to go back to London some time.'
'You,' she said with a smile, 'I take it, are the devil?'
'Who else?' He gave her a wicked smile, his eyes teasing. 'Why? Does that offend your sense of equality?'
'Anything you can do . . .' said Louisa, grinning.
He groaned, holding her closer and murmuring over the top of her head, 'Why do I get the feeling I've married a feminist?' Then he held her away from him, frowning with amusement. 'You can't be, though. You gave up your job to marry me— no self-respecting feminist would do that.'
She wrinkled her nose. 'Rubbish! Feminism doesn't mean punching every man you see just because he's after your job. It means not putting up with any old stick from men just because they think they're better than you.'
He considered this with a thoughtful frown. 'I never met a man who thought he was better than me.'
Louisa's cheeks dimpled. Then her gaze fell on his mouth and she felt her heart skid crazily. Inches from her own, his lips were firm, sensual, and her pulse raced as she strained against him.
'Are we just going to stand here all night?' she asked throatily, and slid one hand along his brown throat, feeling her mouth go dry.
Jacey's heartbeat thudded faster. 'I thought we should celebrate,' he said smokily, eyes resting on her mouth. 'What would you like to do?'
She slowly raised her eyes to his, clinging to him. 'Can't you guess?' she. whispered.
He drew in his breath as he met her gaze. 'I like a lady who knows what she wants,' he said thickly.
'Oh, I do,' she murmured, and proceeded to demonstrate.
Fever Pitch Page 15
