“Listen, even I didn’t think so at first. But the healing you did to my shoulder is undeniable.”
“But didn’t you say last night that angels have a marking?” She pinched a strand of her hair between her fingers. “I don’t have anything, Ethan.”
“I did. Full blood angels have a streak of white-blond hair near their temple. But then I realized something this morning. That there’s a possible explanation as to why you don’t...”
Tina opened her eyes wider, urging him to go on, but he was hesitating, perhaps to spare her feelings. “What is it?”
“It’s because the marking is given to angels after their mother’s first embrace.”
“Mother’s first embrace?” Tina asked uneasily. “Do you mean the first time a mother holds her child?”
“And when you told me you were a foster child, that your mother died in childbirth, I realized...”
“That my mother never got to hold me.”
Tina’s mouth went dry. Danny’s words echoed in her head. You look like my mother except for her hair. Danny! she suddenly thought again. She couldn’t be a healer.
“You’re wrong,” Tina said, raising her voice. “I wasn’t able to heal Danny today. So you’re wrong.”
“What do you mean you weren’t able to heal him?”
“I touched him and it seemed to make him worse.” His pained face flashed in her mind and her headache came back stronger than ever.
“Oh god, it’s already starting,” Ethan moaned. His hands balled into fists. “You’re an angel and that’s why we can’t be together. I’m not supposed to be with anyone, but the consequences for angels are especially more perilous. Just as you’ve found out today.”
“What do you mean perilous? What are you talking about?” She was starting to panic.
“There’s something I didn’t tell you last night.” He looked up at the ceiling as if debating to continue. “Something I usually don’t have to tell anyone because I never stick around long enough,” he added softly.
“Ethan, you’re scaring me. What on earth is going on?”
The hurt on his face was undeniable, but he continued. “When my parents died, the attacker didn’t spare me. He didn’t kill me because he had a more torturous, more sadistic punishment in mind. He wanted to make an example out of me, he was so incensed that his best friend would have a Half Blood child. And so he cursed me, Tina. He put a curse upon me that dictates that I never fall in love with anyone.”
Tina’s brows knit in confusion. It seemed Ethan could barely look at her when he uttered the next sentence.
“Because if I do, it will end up killing them.”
Tina felt like she was going to faint. “Killing them?”
“That’s why I have such a reputation, that’s why I sleep with a different girl every night. Not because I want to, but because I figured out a long time ago that it was the only loophole in the curse. It was the only way I could control my needs as a Lust and prevent me from getting attached.”
Tina couldn’t believe it, refused to believe it. “Ethan, this is all crazy talk. If you want to break promises, that’s fine. If you don’t want me around, that’s fine. But please don’t make up some fantasy. First you’re a demon, then you tell me I’m an angel—I can’t wrap my mind around any of this.”
Ethan looked at her with a distinct sadness.
“You’re not feeling well, are you?” he asked quietly. “You felt different this morning, right? Sick? In pain?”
Terror seized in her chest. “How do you—”
“I’ve feared all my life that this day would come. I’m telling you the truth.”
Tina wanted to fight back, but she couldn’t argue with anything Ethan was saying. It was all true, every word of it. She felt her heart sink as she considered the striking contrast of the two incredible sensations she felt in the last day—the unbelievable pleasure of being with Ethan and now the agonizing pain as her headache pounded in time with her quickening pulse. And he was telling her that these two sensations were connected, irrevocably linked. Forever.
“You’re telling me your love for me will take away my powers...and ultimately kill me.” Tina’s voice shook. “But how is that possible? I’m already feeling pain.”
Ethan looked down. “That’s because I’ve already started falling for you.”
She shut her eyes, unable to look at him another second. When she opened them, she rose from the chair, trying hard to keep her composure. She had been crushed before—it was a running theme in her life. She had learned, time again and time again, to pick herself up by her bootstraps and move on. But this was different. This was the last straw. She had been disappointed one too many times and her heart couldn’t handle one more devastating blow.
As she walked away from him, she heard his voice echoing down the hall behind her.
“Tina, wait!” Ethan called out, but she couldn’t bear to look back at him.
Chapter Seven
The skies had opened and it was pouring outside. Tina could barely see—her tears blurred her vision and the pounding of raindrops on her windshield didn’t make it any better. How could this have happened? I finally meet someone and it could kill me. Her heart ached. It ached for Ethan, for Danny, for herself, for never having anyone to call her own.
By the time she got home, she was sobbing, gulping for air. She had let her guard down, opened herself up to someone and experienced the most intense pleasure of her life, and her heart was stomped to pieces. She should have known it had been too good to be true.
After entering her apartment, she immediately sunk into her couch, not bothering to close the door behind her. She laid down face-up, wrapping her arms around her face, letting her tears gather into the crook of her elbow. She forced herself to take a few deep inhalations and felt her breathing hitch, hiccupping as she tried to calm herself down. “You’re n-not going to do th-this,” Tina admonished herself between breaths. There was no way she could ever be with Ethan again and crying was not going to change that. She took a few more deep inhalations until her breathing finally evened.
While other people may say it was unlucky, she considered herself fortunate that she had been disappointed by people countless times over the course of her life. It taught her how to bounce back and bounce back quickly. It was the only way she got through her ever-changing childhood homes, how she got through being the new kid at schools, how she got through life. She did it all on her own and she didn’t need anybody. Her mini pep talk, one she had told herself time and time again, suddenly strengthened her, but even as she thought it, a flicker of doubt took root in her mind.
She unwrapped her arm from around her forehead and noticed the slight slick of oil left glistening on her arm. Surveying her body—greasy hair, dirty fingernails—she realized she hadn’t showered in almost forty-eight hours. The grimy feeling was definitely worsening her already soured mood. Sighing, she rose off the couch and walked to the bathroom to turn the bathtub faucet on full blast while she walked around her apartment, first plucking a celebrity gossip magazine off her coffee table, then a jar of mud mask off her bedside table, and, lastly, one—very large—bottle of red wine.
When the tub filled, Tina undressed and daintily dipped her toes into the steaming bath, barely submerging them, and issued a small sigh. With both feet submerged, she gripped both sides of the tub as she slowly eased herself into the water, savoring the warmth as it crept up the length of her body. Every tiny hair stood up on end as her skin adjusted to the temperature. She looked down, surveying the slim body that lay under the steaming surface of the water: long and lithe as a ballerina.
Tina reached her hand up to the back of her head and undid the purple hair clip that was now uncomfortably digging into her scalp. Once released, her dark brown hair tumbled into the water beneath her,
where it swirled like a mermaid’s. She let her head dip below the surface for just a second, savoring the feel of the water caressing her face...the tip of her nose, her full lips, the delicate skin of her eyelids.
The moment she had seen the luxurious tub when touring the apartment—her first apartment, she thought with a little surge of pride—she knew it had to be hers. Growing up, she never was able to take baths. Usually the homes had multiple foster kids and time only allowed for a five-minute shower each. Even when she finally got out of the system and miraculously made it to college, her dorm room never had a bathtub. It had been a year and she could still not get over how different it was having her own place—no foster kids or coeds constantly milling around. On one hand, it was peaceful. But on the other, it was quiet, maybe too quiet—a total and utter soundlessness she had never experienced in her entire life. And now, after the apartment had been filled with the screams of ecstasy, the scent and sexual energy of Ethan less than twenty-four hours ago, she noticed the silence more than ever. She was alone. Again.
She grimaced. Not bothering to dry her hands on the towel nearby, she reached for the wine, her wet fingers causing rivulets of water to slide lazily down the glass bottle. She brought it to her lips and took a swig. If anything could erase the memories of Ethan in this apartment, alcohol had the most potential.
After returning the bottle to its place on the closed toilet lid, she picked up the magazine, her fingertips leaving dampened indentations on each page as she flipped through the latest gossip. After a flurry of bored page turning, she settled on a three-page spread of the “Sexiest Man in Hollywood” featured on the cover. The movie star was most known for playing the bad cop in a series of crooked FBI flicks and his pictures featured the shirt of his faux police uniform unbuttoned dangerously low. It was so positively cheesy, but Tina felt her breath grow shallow. Because at the sight of this bad boy in uniform, she couldn’t help but be reminded of Ethan. Though she didn’t want to, she immediately pictured Ethan in his fireman’s garb, slowly stripping each piece off one by one.
Before she knew it, Tina’s hand had dipped beneath the water while the other gently massaged her breasts, teasing each nipple to a peak. For a few moments she rubbed her clit into a tight, pulsing bud, picturing Ethan’s head nestled between her thighs, his tongue lapping at her core. She continued to stroke, but knew she could not bring herself to full satisfaction this way. She needed warmth, pressure; she needed more.
Sliding her body down to the end of the tub, she bent one leg at the knee, planting her foot firmly on the porcelain beneath her. She draped the other leg over the wall of the tub, her soapy foot dripping noiselessly on the tiled bathroom floor. The maneuver was a little tricky, but she steadied herself by placing one hand behind her for support. She turned the faucet back on. After adjusting the temperature, she turned the faucet on full blast before letting her hand join the other one that was braced behind her. She was able to push her bottom a little off closer to the drain and use her upper-body strength to lift herself up so that she half balanced, half floated in the water while she lay back, spread-eagled, her knees resting on each side of the tub. A dull throb pulsed down below, anticipating what would come next.
She thought of Ethan plunging into her as she let the rushing water settle on the juncture between her legs. The sensation was intense and she tilted her hips, rocking them back and forth so that the water pressure ran up and down the length of her pussy. Slowly she rocked, letting the powerful stream of the warm water touch every inch of her sensitive flesh with incredible pressure. She tilted her behind down slightly, letting the warm stream of water settle on her clit. A few seconds was all she could take, as the pleasure built so quickly. Teasing herself, she slowly circled her hips in a clockwise motion, letting the water pulse on the inside of her right thigh, down to the bottom of her splayed legs, and straight back up to her clit. The varied sensations were almost too much to handle, and when she just couldn’t take it anymore, she let the water again settle on that sensitive nub of flesh, feeling the orgasm build higher and higher, until she came with a soft moan.
It was satisfying, she had done it many times before, but after knowing the pleasure that Ethan had given her, it just couldn’t compare. It merely felt like foreplay.
Trying to savor the release, she submerged the back of her head, closing her eyes. A lump rose in her throat and she furrowed her brow, trying to shake off the emotion. It was going to be a long night if she kept on thinking of what she had just lost. Huffing out a frustrated breath, she sat up in the tub and opened her eyes. Immediately she screamed.
There was Ethan, his good shoulder leaning against the door frame of her bathroom. As if he had simply materialized from her thoughts into the physical realm.
She gasped. “What’re you—How did you—” She stopped herself, trying to gather her thoughts. “How long have you been standing there?”
He looked away. “You look beautiful.” She detected hurt in his voice and though she was still hurt, his expression tugged at her heart.
“What are you doing here, Ethan?” she asked. “You said we could never work.”
“I just couldn’t leave you that way. I wanted to let you know that this situation absolutely destroys me.”
“Is that all? Tell the truth. Are you still thinking of me like I’m thinking of you?”
“Of course. But I just wanted to say goodbye properly and make sure you understood. I have no part in this, it’s just the way it is.” His shoulders slumped, the lips she kissed just last night pressing together into a thin line.
Tina felt her voice rise slightly. Not from anger, but from desperation. She couldn’t picture herself not kissing that mouth ever again. “So you’re saying there’s absolutely no way to break the curse? There’s no way we can be together?” Whenever she had been told no she had found a way to overcome it. There had to be something she could do.
“The only way would be to kill the Gluttony who killed my parents. But I told you—he disappeared right after the attack and no one has seen him since. The first few years after the attack I tried, I searched, but it was useless—”
“Well now you’ll have another person to help you. We’ll search together. We’ll hunt him down if it means that—”
“Tina, I’m begging you to understand. It’s impossible. Please don’t think that I don’t wish—don’t pray—that that wasn’t the case.” He rubbed his face with his hand. She noticed he hadn’t shaved, his five o’clock shadow making him look even more rugged than when he was in uniform.
A moment of silence hung between them. He was right—there was no way to argue the point. They could not be together. Slowly, she stood up in the tub and climbed out, shivering as the coolness of the tile met the soles of her feet. After wrapping herself in a white towel, she stared him down. “You care about me. The pain I woke up with confirms that you do. And you’re going to ignore the most amazing thing that has ever happened to both of us and just walk away?”
“I don’t have a choice,” he whispered. “I’ll hurt you more. I can’t bear to hurt you.”
“If being able to be with you means these bouts of pain and discomfort, I’ll do it. I’ll soldier through. I can take care of myself.” Tina was choking up again. “I’m strong.”
“You are strong,” he said gently. “But this is out of our hands.”
“Everything’s been out of my hands, Ethan. My whole life has been constantly filled with other people making decisions for me. And right now I want to make a decision for myself. To hell with the rest.”
“Tina—” Ethan began.
“I don’t care,” she answered. “Right now I just want to be with you. I need to feel you next to me again. Last night just can’t be the last time. It just can’t.”
She walked over to him and draped her arms around his neck. He stiffened. She tried to kiss him, bu
t Ethan stopped her, wiping the tears on her face away with his thumb. Looking into his eyes, she saw the inner battle that must’ve been waging within him, saw him trying to work it out in his mind. She knew stopping her took a lot of willpower—that he wanted to kiss her, but knew he shouldn’t. Before he could make up his mind, she pressed her mouth to his. His hands trembled as he slid them under her towel, his cold fingers jolting the bare skin of her back. She kissed him harder, pressing her hands against his chest, massaging a nipple through the fabric of his shirt.
She dove a hand in the front of his pants and grasped his shaft, which was already hard and ready for her. The delicate skin was smooth, soft like velvet, and she curled her fingers around it, pumping her hand slowly. She heard a groan of pleasure in the back of his throat and she broke the kiss. She put a finger to his lips, then lowered herself until she was kneeling in front of him.
“Don’t think. Just let me do this.”
She unbuttoned his fly and pulled his boxers down, revealing his massive shaft. She kissed up the length of his cock before taking all of him in her mouth. He was so big, so thick, her eyes watered when his tip touched the back of her throat. Then she pulled away painstakingly slow, her lips curled tightly around him, before sucking up his length again while her hand cupped and squeezed his sack, the inside of his leg, his lower abs, stroking, fondling. Pulling back her head, she circled her tongue around the tip a few times before sucking his foreskin in and out of her mouth. Ethan bit his lip with a moan and that turned her on more.
Suddenly, Ethan took a step back. “You’re very good at that, but I want more. I want you right now.”
When Tina stood up, Ethan pulled her close to him. He kissed her all over, devouring her with the fervor of a dying man with his last meal.
“After we do this, we can’t ever do it again. Please tell me you understand,” he asked.
The Demon's Forbidden Passion Page 5
