Somehow, both of them knew this would be their last night together there in the peace and warmth of the cave, and primitive as it was, it had been a happy home for them for these seven days. They’d been warm and snug and more together than they’d been the whole journey because of the days spent lounging and reading and talking. That night there was almost a feeling of melancholy as they banked the fire and blew out the candle. Even though they knew they would be saying goodbye soon, both of them snuggled together tightly for this last precious time of just the two of them. They didn’t talk much after they prayed together, just lay there together like spoons for a long time before finally dropping off to sleep.
*****
The silence of the cave was almost eerie after the constant wind of the last week. The crack in the ceiling was a stark, bright line and they knew the storm had finally blown itself out. With the clear skies, the temperature had plummeted and the cave was colder this morning than it had been since they’d been there. Trace lit their last fire and began milking the cow. Giselle went out to the wagon to gather up the last of her laundry she’d left hanging there.
She climbed the wagon wheel and slung a leg over the wagon box and pushed through the flaps to come face to face with Many Feathers. He was standing there with one of her chemises in his hands and all thought of thanking him for his help in finding the caves disappeared in outrage at finding him there with her lingerie. She went to snatch the chemise out of his hands and he evaded her grab. It made her hopping mad in an instant. She tore into him and went off like a little, Dutch stick of dynamite.
She snatched at the chemise again, and this time, she caught it and began whacking him with it as she gave him a piece of her mind. How dare he be in here with her underwear! He didn’t say anything, didn’t even change his expression, and it made her madder than ever and she actually went to hit him with her hand. Still without any change in his expression, he caught her arm before she connected and just held it so that she couldn’t hit him. She didn’t think she could get any madder, but having him control her ticked her off even further and she stomped her foot at him in fury.
In that moment, Trace stuck his head inside the wagon flaps and looked at the two of them, wondering what in the world was going on. Giselle started to tell him about this incredible travesty of having this savage rummaging through her undies, but Many Feathers turned to Trace, and still holding Giselle’s arm so she couldn’t hit him, he quietly spoke to Trace. Then dropped her arm, and without changing his expression, hopped out of the back of the wagon. Without looking back at her, he strode to his horse, mounted, and kicked the horse into a trot, and rode off.
Giselle was completely nonplussed when Trace began to laugh. He laughed and leaned over and rested his hands on his knees and laughed all the harder. He looked up at Giselle and laughed again so hard that tears started up and he couldn’t seem to help himself. He laughed like he’d never heard anything so funny in all his days. Now Giselle was even getting mad at him. What did he think was so amusing?
She put her hands on both hips and gave him the look and he went off busting up again. This time she stomped her foot at him and he laughed until he could hardly breathe. Then he turned and headed back into the cave, still laughing like he had heard the funniest thing in the world. Giselle couldn’t help herself and had to smile at him as she gathered up her underpinnings. What had Many Feathers said to Trace to crack him up like that?
Back in the cave, she began to fold her laundry and asked, “What did he say?” At her question, Trace went off again; holding his sides like they hurt from the humor. Giselle came over to him and put her hands back on her hips. “Trace Grayson, what did he say to you?”
Struggling to control his laughter was still hopeless and it was several seconds before he could even breathe, let alone tell her. Finally, he wiped his eyes and pulled her to him in a hug and started, “He said… ” He busted up yet again and she had to wait one more time until he could speak. “He said that he’d changed his mind and that I could have you!”
Trace tried to keep his composure but it was hopeless, and he finally leaned over with his hands on his knees again and laughed until he cried, and she finally laughed with him. “Aaah, you two were the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!” He turned aside and went back to making breakfast, but every few minutes he’d belt out laughing again and say, “I can have you.” And then shake his head.
When they went to eat, he still couldn’t even pray without busting up, and Giselle had to take over mid-prayer. When he finally got control of himself, he sighed and said, “It’s a good thing you have that hot, little, Dutch temper! He’d have followed us right into the valley and stayed with you there, and I was starting to seriously consider selling you.” He paused and then mused, “I wonder how many horses he’d have gotten up to if you hadn’t gone off on him out there.” She gave him another look and then he laughed yet again.
They finished breakfast, packed up their gear, said a prayer to ask for help on the trip, and as they went out the cave opening, he hugged her to him again and said, “Come, Giselle, my little, Dutch spitfire. We must take you home to Zion.”He shook his head again and laughed. “I can have you.” Still chuckling, he took her mittened hand in his and then took the lead line to the stock in the other and they set out across the pristine, white snow.
Chapter 16
At first the snow was deep and the mules and cows struggled so much that Trace eventually let go of her hand so she could stay clear away from their floundering. Soon, however, they reached a windblown area and Trace helped her onto the trustworthy mule’s back and then climbed up behind her. The rogue mule held their bedding and camp gear and the chickens had been strapped to the milk cow. The calf struggled far more than the others because it was shorter, even though Trace had left it free of any pack to reserve its energy. Dog, who was light enough to stay on top of the snow, brought up the rear.
Looking back over their ragtag pack string, he laughed again near her ear. “We’re the strangest group I’ve ever seen, I’m afraid.”
She leaned back into his arms. “Strange is fine, just as long as we’re making progress.”
He hugged her. “It’s going to be a hard trip, Elle. We may have to either eat them or leave them all behind, but I promise you that at least you and I are going to make it safely to your valley.”
She thought about that and said, “You know what, Trace? I absolutely believe you. I’ve never doubted that since the time you told me we’d make it even if we had to walk. I should never have worried. I’ve always been safe and secure with you.”
It was a hard day. From time to time, they had to walk across the snow on their snowshoes. Sometimes they rode, and for a long time, they even rode along in the little stream that flowed down the valley. It was free of snow and shallow, and except for when it got too brushy, it was the easiest route of all. They were still in a country of rolling sage-covered hills, but the valley they traveled was slowly getting higher-walled as they progressed.
By the time the sun began to sink in the west, they were all exhausted and when they finally stopped for the evening, the animals just stood with their heads hanging while they started a cook fire and dug a cave-like hole into a drift. At first Giselle was afraid they’d freeze or that the snow would collapse on them, but Trace pulled her close and prayed with her and, when he went right to sleep, she was reassured and snuggled over and followed suit. In the morning when she woke up, snug and warm beside him, she was frankly pleasantly surprised.
The second day was harder. There were more places that they had to slog through the deep snow, and by that night, both humans and beasts were completely drained. They slept in another snow cave, and then the next morning, Trace stopped where the wind had blown some grass clear and let the stock graze for more than an hour. After another grueling day, they found a small cave near the creek bank and built a fire in the mouth and spread out their bedding inside.
It wasn’t
as warm as the snow caves, but still Giselle liked it better. The snow caves made her feel like she couldn’t breathe for some reason. Giselle asked Trace that night if they were making the headway he had wanted, and he hesitated before he answered, “Yes and no. I knew it would be hard, and we’re going to have to give the stock more time to feed when we find it, but we’re doing okay. I had hoped to be able to go faster, but we can only do our best. We’re still going to be fine. We are.”
As they hiked or rode along, she watched the skies, wondering when they’d get hit with another storm. They actually had clear skies for most of four days before the low, gray clouds blew in. The temperature wasn’t so bitter cold, but the wind blowing the snow in their faces was miserable, and when they came upon a cut bank that backed up to the wind direction, Trace stopped for the night even though it was only mid-afternoon. He tied the stock near the stream where the feed was plentiful and set about building a lean-to up against the dirt bank.
Cooking dinner seemed to take forever in the swirling gusts, and they eventually just ate their biscuits and beans half cooked and crawled into bed. It was still cold, even close together, and they shivered the whole night through. It was still snowing when the sun came up and they probably would have just stayed put except that they were too cold. They got up, packed, and headed out. It was warmer on the mule’s back where its body heat seeped up into them.
The canyon they were traveling through became narrower and deeper, and while it was more protection from the wind, the drifts were sometimes almost impassable. They dug into a snow bank that night and it was much warmer. They slept better and longer and were far more refreshed when they got back up, which was good because it was another blustery day. They traveled in the stream water again to avoid the snow drifts. It was longer because of the meandering, but it was still faster and easier than bucking the drifts. They could almost see the livestock losing weight and the mule they rode was definitely getting bonier.
On the sixth day, they made it out of the narrow canyon and had to cross a wide intersecting valley. They entered another canyon on the side. It wasn’t as steep or narrow, but it must have been higher in elevation because the snow became markedly deeper.
Following the stream wasn’t an option here, and they snow shoed with their packs while the mules and cows bucked through the drifts as well as they could beside them. It was a grueling go, and they had to stop often to let the stock rest and by late that afternoon they had only come a few miles for all their struggle. Trace found a hollow at the base of a huge old cedar tree, built a tent of sorts, and spread out their bedding inside. He tied the stock nearby and all four of them lay right down in the snow when they were unloaded.
During the night, the wind whipped the tarp that made up their tent, and the next morning they found their bedding covered in inches of snow. Although they’d stayed dry in their sleep, the bedding had become partially sodden, and as they traveled that day, it froze into solid wads. That night they were in a snow cave again, but with damp bedding they were so cold that even snuggled together they shivered the whole night through again. Mid morning of the next day, when he spotted a sizable cave, Trace stopped for the day and built a roaring fire to dry out their bedding. They let the stock eat in the creek bottom, and once their bedding was warmed through, they went right to bed in the middle of the afternoon to try to make up for their sleepless night the night before.
They slept right through, and in the deepest dark before dawn, Dog began to growl. At first, Giselle just thought that it was Many Feathers again, but then they heard coyotes and knew they were after their snow-bound stock. Trace went out with the rifle and rescued the calf from them. The coyotes had been able to stay on top of the snow and to maneuver much more nimbly, and if it hadn’t been for Dog, the calf would have been lost. As it was, she had to be patched up, and they wondered if she would make it this time through the last rigors of this trip.
That was the morning they saw the first signs of travel over the road from the valley. Someone was ahead of them on the trail, and from time to time from high spots they could see either part of the trail or smoke coming from chimneys in the surrounding hills. Giselle was both thrilled and sad. These past days had pushed her beyond what she had thought she could handle and the thought of civilization at last was enough to make her think she would live through this. Then she would remember she had to tell him goodbye and she wished they were a thousand miles from the valley.
It was a good thing that there was light at the end of the tunnel because a storm hit that afternoon that was an arctic gale. Trace had seen it coming, but hadn’t found anywhere that looked suitable to get the stock some shelter, and they kept on into the face of the driven snow for hours. When it was too dark to see, they gave up and burrowed into a snow cave and left the poor animals right out in it. Giselle felt terrible about it and prayed for them over and over when she stirred in the night. The next morning she wanted to be up and gone so that they could find a way to help the animals as soon as possible.
The storm still raged and all of them, man and beast alike, were covered with a layer of crusted snow over their hair and clothes within minutes. Visibility was next to nil and it was a stroke of luck that they found the opening to a mine in the canyon beside the trail. Trace herded the animals in and then brushed off Giselle’s cloak and hair and went right back out into it to find firewood. He was gone so long that she was starting to go look for him when he showed up with parts of two trees to burn. They started a fire near the mine opening, cooked a hot meal, and spread out their bed, unbelievably grateful to be in out of that blinding, wind-driven snow and ice.
As they went to lie down, Giselle asked, “How much further, Trace? Do you have any idea?”
He pulled her into his arms and thought about it and said, “I’ve only been to your valley one time. The other times we went a different route, but as far as I can remember, we should get there tomorrow or the next day. Unless the weather stays like this. If it does I think we should stay right here.”
He met her eyes and she repeated, “Tomorrow or the next day.” This was it then. They had almost made it, but that revelation broke her heart into pieces. She turned her back to him and snuggled close and tried not to let him know she was crying. Tomorrow or the next day. It felt like the end of the world.
The wind died down in the middle of the night and it was so quiet it woke both of them up. She knew he was awake, but she didn’t say anything to him. She didn’t have any idea what to say. Those months ago, his asking her to agree to marry him and then have it annulled had seemed like the perfect answer. Tonight it felt like the most cruel thing in the world.
She turned over and put her face against his chest. She should have been trying to talk him into staying married. Whether he was leaving or a member or not, she should have tried to make this wonderful friendship be strong enough to keep it a marriage, but now it was too late. She breathed against him and tried to memorize that smell. She wanted to be able to remember it for all the rest of her life.
Her mind kept repeating the word Goodbye over and over and it felt like a nightmare, but she knew she was wide awake. Thinking he had gone back to sleep, she pressed a tender kiss to his chest and got up out of the bed and stoked the fire. She went to look out the front of the mine opening at the beautiful, still, cold night. It was too painful to stay there in bed beside him.
Knowing her thoughts were going to make her an emotional wreck, she tried to organize a plan in her head for her life, both in the next few days and long term. She was basically alone in the world now, or would be when Trace headed out, and she needed to know what she was going to do with herself. She had some money of her own, so she should be able to support herself at least for a while.
Before, she had assumed she would come to Zion and find a husband and settle down, but that wasn’t an option anymore. At least not right off. Even if that’s what the brethren recommended, there was no way she could face something like
that so soon after Trace. She was going to have to figure out how to get him out of her heart and head first. She’d have to find a house or have one built and eventually find a way to make a living until she could face marriage at some point.
She was standing there trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces when Trace came up to stand behind her quietly. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and leaned his chin on her head and looked out at the snowy canyon with her. Neither one of them said anything. What could you say at a time like this?
They stood there until they were both shivering and then they turned and got back into bed, still without saying a word. Once there, Trace wrapped his arms around her like he never wanted to let go and she met him more than half way. It was like they had to fit the huge amount of emotion they were feeling into the short couple of hours before dawn.
Even staying in bed longer than usual didn’t satisfy the emotional maw they were in danger of falling into. She had never been so frustrated in her life when they strapped back on the snowshoes and started down the snowbound trail. The sun had come out in a glorious display of sparkling diamonds on the snow, and its blinding brightness felt like it was mocking them as they trekked along.
The visibility was boundless and they could see a person coming on the trail ahead of them for miles. It was a single person and a pair of pack mules, and it was like a clarion call that they were at the end of the trail.
They’d been watching the lone figure trudge along for hours, just like they were through the exhausting snow, when she heard Trace whisper, “Mose.” He turned to Giselle. “That’s Mose! I’d know that walk anywhere!” He put his fingers to his lips and let go a shrill whistle and within seconds the lone figure sent an answering whistle back. Dog took off bounding over the snow towards him and Trace turned and gave Giselle a huge, happy hug. “That’s Mose!”
Journey of Honor A love story Page 19
