“Then he’s not worth my time,” I finished for her. The thing was, that wasn’t the issue. With the way Billy looked at me, I was pretty sure he saw even more in me than I did. “Can we not talk about this right now?”
“Okay. If that’s what you really want. How’s the job hunt going?”
“Great, actually. I have an interview Monday.” The back door opened as I told my mom the good news.
“Oh, that’s great, Hannah!” Mom cheered me on as I peeked down the corridor that led to the rear exit.
“Hannah?” I heard Lottie’s voice call out my name.
“Hey, Mom. I’ll have to call you later. Lottie just walked in.”
“Oh! I was so sad we weren’t able to make the wedding. Tell her congrats and give her a hug and kiss for me.”
“Will do. Love you, bye.” I ended the call before she could find a way to keep me on any longer.
“Hey, lady!” I said as Lottie came into view. “Look at you, looking all tan and gorgeous!” I hugged her tight, happy to see my best friend.
She chuckled. “Tan as a pale redhead could get, I guess.” The woman still had no idea how beautiful she was, even with a hunk like Tucker on her arm. “Did I hear you say something about an interview Monday?”
“Oh…yeah…that.” I turned my back to her, walking to a table of clothes to refold already perfectly folded shirts.
“Hannah?” She stopped the movement of my hands with hers, her brow pinching.
My shoulders sagged with my sigh. “Okay. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before. I just didn’t want to bring you down, since it was your wedding… I lost my job.”
“What? When? Is this because you took extra time off?”
“No. They let me go a week before the wedding due to mandated company cutbacks.”
“Oh my gosh, Han. I’m so sorry. God, I feel horrible.”
“Why? It has nothing to do with you and besides, I already have an interview…for a buyer position, even.”
“That’s great! Wow!” She hugged me again. “Maybe it was for the best then?”
“Here’s hoping.” I attempted a big smile.
“So…new job…new man…” She wagged her eyebrows up and down.
After spending two weeks in this town, I wasn’t surprised she’d already heard about Billy and me after being back home for less than an hour.
“Yeah, well…enough about me. Where’s that hot new husband of yours?” I glanced over her shoulder, expecting him to be making an appearance any minute.
“He’s back at the house with Lily and his family. I told him I wanted to make a quick stop here to make sure you didn’t need any help, so he dropped me off on the way.”
“Well, it was a wasted trip. I was just finishing up and about to leave to go home.”
“To Billy’s home.” She smirked.
I exaggerated my eye roll. “Yes, to Billy’s home.”
“Just clarifying.” She grinned. “Well, if you have the interview Monday, when do you plan to fly out? We were hoping to have a small cookout at our place tomorrow night to thank you for everything.”
“I scheduled my flight for Sunday, so I’ll be there.”
“Perfect. Bring Billy. Leighton, Aaron, and Wes will be there too. Lily’s begging to finish out her weekend stay with Grams, so it will be adults only.”
“Sounds fun. I’ll bring the wine.”
After a little more catching up on the fun they had on their honeymoon, Lottie drove me to Billy’s so she could take her car I’d been borrowing back home. I sent him a quick text, letting him know I was at his place in case he’d pulled up looking for her car wondering where I was.
Slipping off my heels, I walked down the hallway to the bedroom, figuring I should get a jumpstart on packing. I’d acquired a few new outfits at the boutique while I was in town, not having packed enough clothes to last me the two weeks I ended up staying. I wasn’t sure I’d get them all into the suitcase for my return flight home. It would definitely take some very organized folding. Luckily, that was one thing I was good at…unlike cooking.
I got to work, pulling everything out and carefully folding each piece of clothing. When I was about halfway done, I decided it’d be a good idea to read each note Billy had written me before slipping them into the zipper pocket of my suitcase.
It wasn’t.
In fact, it was probably up there with the dumbest ideas I’d ever had.
Tears streamed down my face as I read the last one, realizing I only had a few mornings left with him. I crawled into his bed, fisting my hands close to my heart.
“Han.” I felt the warmth of Billy’s touch and the tenderness of his voice sweep over me.
I opened my eyes, rubbing at them with my hand, and found him sitting on the edge of the bed next to me with a smile on his face. The vision of him was indescribable.
“Hey, sleepyhead. You hungry?”
I bit at my trembling lip. He’d become everything to me in such a short period of time.
“Hannah?” His smile fell from his face. “Hey, you okay? Have you been crying?”
I shook my head no, fighting back the tears threatening to fall. A blatant lie. Taking a deep inhale, I sat up next to him. “No. I’m fine. Sorry. Just a little tired is all. I laid down to rest and must have fallen asleep.”
He gripped the sides of my face, his thumbs tracing the lines of my cheekbones as he studied me for a moment. I silently pleaded he wouldn’t push the subject. I didn’t want to fall apart in his arms tonight. I wanted to make the best of what little time we had left together.
He kissed my lips and the tension in my body released. I clung to him, gripping his back. My tongue greedily pushed into his mouth, strengthening the kiss, needing to feel him inside of me more than anything. Aggressively tugging at his shirt, I worked to remove it. Breaking away for a beat, he pulled it over his head, tossing it aside before dragging our bodies down onto the bed.
Urging him to his back, I straddled him, clawing at his zipper. His hands caught my wrist, halting me. My eyes flicked to his as he searched for answers I wasn’t ready to give, his face stern and concerned.
“Han—”
“I need this, Billy. I need you.”
It was the truth.
His face softened, his hands slowly releasing my wrists. Our manic movements and mouths resumed as we both discarded our clothes, our sensibility. I kissed down his throat and across his chest. His hands held tightly to my hips. I gave him one final kiss before rising to my knees, guiding his tip to my entrance.
“Hannah?” He stopped me again.
“I’m clean. I promise. And I’m on birth control.”
All I wanted was to feel him inside me, nothing between us, for just this one time.
I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “You sure about this, blondie?”
“Never been surer about anything in my life.”
As he nodded, I slid down the length of him, my head falling back, my eyes closing as I felt all of him filling me. Our hips began to move, and I braced my hands on his firm abs, riding him as my body built toward its climax with each thrust. On the edge of release, he flipped us in one smooth move.
He pinned my hands above my head, his massive muscles straining as he towered over me, driving his hips into me. Strong and powerful.
I cried out his name, a plea on my lips, as he took me all the way home, tumbling and falling. His body tensed with a few final, slow thrusts, falling right along with me.
Heavy and sated, his body rolled off of me, pulling me along with him. He spooned my body while dropping soft kisses along the warm, damp skin of my shoulder.
“Shit, Hannah. That was…”
“Yeah,” I breathed.
It was everything.
We sat on his kitchen floor with our legs stretched out and backs pressed against the cabinets, each with a different flavored pint of ice cream. We’d been so hungry and worn out we hadn’t even made it to the table.
I grinned over at a shirtless Billy, wearing only some black athletic shorts and nothing else. I didn’t have much more on—a pair of panties and one of his T-shirts.
I licked the spoon, making sure to get every bit of ice cream off of it. “I think this is my new favorite.”
“No way”—he shook his head, diving his spoon into the carton for another bite—“butter pecan is the best damn ice cream to ever be invented.”
“How can you say that when there’s rocky road ice cream? I mean come on…chocolate, marshmallows, nuts.”
“Well, I know how you like your nuts.”
“Watch it mister”—I pointed my spoon at him—"or you may be missing yours in the morning.”
“Guess I’ll be sleeping with one eye open tonight.”
I bumped my shoulder playfully against his. He smiled easily and put his arm around me, keeping me there as I leaned in, resting my head on him. I was going to miss this little game we’d started—a challenge to learn everything we could about each other in a short amount of time.
I felt the press of his lips against the hair on my head. Something about it was too much for me; I could no longer hold back what had been eating at me all day. I had to tell him. The sooner the better. Nothing good ever came from not being completely honest upfront.
“I have an interview.”
The words were barely above a whisper, but I knew he heard them. His body stiffened beside me, his hand slowing its up and down movement on the outside of my arm.
“That’s great, Han.”
The words were forced. I didn’t need to see his expression to know he was trying to be positive. He wanted to support me, even though it meant the end of us.
I let the other shoe drop. “It’s Monday.”
He drew his arm from my body as he shifted away from me, climbing to his feet. I remained stagnant on the floor as I watched him place his ice cream back in the freezer and toss his spoon into the sink.
He stood with his back to me and I could feel it.
The shift.
The push and pull.
I was already losing him, and I hadn’t even left yet.
“Billy?”
He didn’t answer. His head lifted from its downward gaze at the sink.
“Maybe we should talk about this.”
“About what, Hannah?” He turned to face me, his whole body hard and cold. For the briefest of moments, I swore I saw regret behind his eyes.
I crossed my arms protectively over my stomach, feeling gutted and tormented.
“I…I don’t know,” I admitted, looking away from him. I couldn’t stomach the look in his eyes as he stared back at me.
Neither one of us spoke, both just waiting for the other to snap and call it what it was: a good time while it lasted.
He let out a heavy sigh, rubbing both palms over his face. “Damn it, Hannah. I’m sorry.” He took a step toward me—a temporary white flag being waved. He tugged lightly at my hand. “Let’s just go to bed. It’s late and we’re both exhausted.”
I nodded in agreement, releasing my arms and squeezing his hand in return as I followed him down the hall.
I thought it was all just a bad dream, the distance I felt as we fell asleep the night before. With my stomach in knots, I picked up my morning note, hoping for something that would tell me it’d all be okay. I flipped open the card the way I’d done every morning, but the small smile on my face was short lived as I read his words.
Have to work late today. I’ll meet you at Tucker and Lottie’s.
I closed the card, putting it back on the bedside table. I had no idea what I expected from him when he heard my news, but this wasn’t it. It was like that first morning last year all over again. He was pushing me away.
Part of me wanted to curl in on myself and wallow in self-pity, but the stronger part of me—the one that knew I meant more to him than this and deserved more from him than this—told me to get my ass out of bed and carry on through my day. I’d known what would be waiting for me at the end of this road when I took it. Now it was time to deal with the consequences.
13
HANNAH
With a sense of déjà vu, I walked through the front door of the old farmhouse Lottie had inherited from her mother. The last time I was here, it was an evening much like this one—a cookout with friends, my last night in town, on the verge of having my heart broken completely by Billy Miller.
“Lottie?” I called as I made my way down the hall, noticing how homey and lived in everything was.
Tucker had remodeled the place for Lottie and had done a beautiful job transforming it from an old, run-down farmhouse to a beautiful modern and sleek one. It still had its classic charm and character, but the finishes throughout had been updated to light and vibrant, with hints of darker contrasts in the wood floors and kitchen counters.
“We’re in here!” Lottie called as I rounded the corner, where it opened up into the gorgeous new kitchen built for a chef.
“Hey!” I said, forcing a smile onto my face, holding up a bottle of wine. “I brought refreshments.”
“Nice!” Leighton jumped down from her stool at the island, snatching the bottle from my hand. “I’ll do the honors of opening it.”
Lottie wiped her hands down the front of her apron as she came around the island to hug me. I held in a giggle as she did. It was weird seeing her so domestic.
Stepping back from our embrace, she looked over my shoulder. “Where’s Billy?”
I stepped around her, avoiding her eyes. “Oh. Uh. He’ll be here later. He has to work late,” I tossed over my shoulder as I moved toward the cabinets in search of three wine glasses.
From my peripheral, I saw the two of them exchange a look. I was going to need the whole bottle to myself if they were going to force me into this conversation.
“How did you get here?”
Yep. That was the one hiccup in Billy’s whole “meet you there” plan. Apparently, he hadn’t noticed I had no car when he left the note. Or maybe he was just hoping I wouldn’t show.
“Wes dropped me off.”
Another look was traded as Leighton popped the cork from the bottle.
“What?” I sighed. “He was already in town on an errand, so it just made sense versus Billy having to take a break to drive into town just to bring me back out here.”
“You could’ve ridden with Aaron and me,” Leighton frowned.
I gave her an apologetic smile. The thing was, I couldn’t call Leighton and Aaron, because even though we had become friends, at the end of the day, they were Billy’s family—his sister and his best friend.
“It’s fine. I’m here, aren’t I?” Barely.
A part of me just wanted to tuck tail and run after the note this morning. Calling Wes to come get me was close to one of my most humiliating moments. Especially when I had to ask him not to say anything to Billy. I’d thought he’d give me a hard time about it all, but for some reason, he hadn’t. He’d just showed up, no questions asked.
He didn’t have any errands as I’d claimed—other than being my taxi—but I wasn’t about to admit the full truth to anyone. It’d just lead to more questions and more things I didn’t want to talk about.
Leighton poured us each a glass, passing them out to us as she did. I took a sip of my wine, taking a seat on one of the barstools.
“Need any help?” I asked Lottie, desperate for a topic change as she fluttered around the kitchen, preparing various dishes.
She glanced over her shoulder with a skeptical look. I grinned teasingly, because we both knew how badly I lacked culinary skills. I could barely chop celery.
“No. I think I’ll handle it myself, thank you very much. This kitchen is still relatively new, and I think Tucker would have a panic attack if you burned this place to the ground. You just sit there and look pretty and drink your wine.”
“Now that, I can do.” I raised my glass toward her in a mock salute before taking another drink.
After Lottie finished up with all the sides, we moved to the backyard and sat at the picnic table to hang out. Tucker and Aaron were already out there preparing the grill. The three of us girls continued with our idle chatter and I began to relax, the wine now flowing easily down my throat. Maybe this night wouldn’t be so bad, after all.
We’d moved on to our second bottle when Leighton leaned in, her eyes zeroing in on me. “Okay. I just can’t stand it anymore. I have to know. What the hell was Wes referring to the other day with the Hurling Hannah nickname? I tried to get it out of him, and he refused to tell me.”
Wine burned in my nostrils as I nearly choked on the drink I’d just taken. I coughed, covering my mouth, looking between her and Leighton. I shook my head, not wanting to go there. But when Leighton gave me those big, brown puppy dog-type eyes and pouty lip, I gave in like a sucker. I mean, what did it matter at this point? I’d already told Wes.
“Fine,” I sighed, my shoulders deflating as I leaned in with her. “I’ll tell you two, but you have to promise to keep your mouths shut, it never goes beyond the three of us here, and we are to never speak of it again. Got it?”
They both nodded eagerly, like starved children waiting for a piece of candy. Making sure neither Tucker nor Aaron were in earshot, I leaned in, giving them the whole humiliating story…mostly. I decided to leave off my slip of the tongue, the way Billy ran afterward, and my broken heart that followed. Even being a little tipsy at the moment, there was only so much a girl was willing to share.
When I was done, they both sat back, their eyes wide in shock. It was the briefest of moments. Then the shock wore off, and they simultaneously burst out laughing. I sighed, covering my face with my hands. When would I learn that drinking was the gateway to spilling all my secrets?
“Oh my god, I can’t believe you did that!” Leighton chuckled, clutching her stomach. “So gross, but so awesome! Take that brother! That’s what he gets for all those years of wet willies and torment.”
“Poor Billy,” Lottie giggled beside her. “I can see why you didn’t want to talk about it before.”
Chasing Hannah Page 13
