by K. M. Scott
“Don’t ever be sorry for being you, Serena. I love you just like you are. I wouldn’t change a thing about you, so don’t think I would. I don’t want any of those million women. I only want you.”
I touched his hands and closed my eyes as my emotions began to overtake me. Hanging my head, I didn’t try to stop the tears. I didn’t know why I was crying, though. Was it because even after basically telling him what he did for us to be free sickened me, he still cared? Was it for how he made that man suffer while the crowd cheered for him like he was some kind of hero?
I didn’t know. I just knew it felt good to cry. Ryder held me to him, and as the water streamed down over us, I marveled at how wonderful he truly was to me. After everything he’d had to endure to just be with me, he still only thought of my happiness.
“It’s not so bad. Really,” he whispered against my cheek. “Even the guy I beat is safe and warm in his bed by now. It looked worse than it was.”
I opened my eyes and he looked down at me with that sexy smile that never failed to make me feel like I was melting inside. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. I can’t bear to think of you doing that. I can’t explain it, but it physically hurts me to think of you in pain.”
“It’s just for a little while. Don’t worry. I’m built for this.”
“Don’t say that. Nobody’s built to be in pain, Ryder.”
“I’ll only do it long enough to make the money we need to get away and then I promise never again. Wherever we go, I’ll get a normal job so you’ll never have to worry about me being in pain again.”
I ran my fingertips over his chest and down onto his stomach. “Please let that be soon.”
“It will be. For now, I have something better in mind to focus on,” he said as he gazed down at me with hooded eyes and licked his lips.
His mouth covered mine and his tongue slid between my lips in a kiss that succeeded at least for the moment in taking my mind off all the things troubling it. He moaned low and pushed his hips forward to press his hard cock against my stomach.
“I need to be inside you, Serena,” he said in a deep voice as he slid his palms down my back to cup my ass.
Lifting me to waist-level, he gently pressed me back against the black marble tile wall and stared down at me like his every thought was of me. I moaned softly at the first touch of his cock, and then he thrust his hips forward to fill me in one incredible motion.
For a moment, he remained still, simply staring into my eyes with a look so powerful I couldn’t look away if I wanted to. I didn’t want to. I could have stayed right there looking into his eyes and been happy forever knowing I was the complete focus of this man.
I slowly dug my heels into his lower back, wanting more, though. I wanted to feel him slide in and out of me, fucking me like only he could.
He buried his hands in my hair and tugged, making pain skitter across my scalp, before he pulled back and plunged his cock into me hard and fast enough to take my breath away. Clinging to his neck, I held on, my hips seeking to match the rhythm of his as he fucked me.
“Tell me you still love me, even though you hate what I do,” he mumbled low in my ear as he pumped his cock into me.
I pushed his head away and kissed him long and deep, hating myself for how I’d made him doubt my feelings for him. “Always, Ryder. It doesn’t matter what you do. I’ll still love you.”
Over and over, he plunged his cock into my body, and over and over, I begged him to never stop, loving the feel of him fucking me as much there in that shower as I had from the first time he made me his.
My release washed over me, and I came hard on his cock before he came, filling me until it dripped down between us. I collapsed against his chest, content in his strong arms.
“I love you,” I whispered against the wet skin of his neck before kissing the spot just below his ear. “Every single part of you.”
He gently pulled me back so I could see his face. There in his eyes I still saw the intensity I adored in him. “I couldn’t do it if I didn’t have you and the baby as the reason. I need you to know that.”
“I thought you loved it.”
Ryder shook his head. “I love you. I love our baby. Fighting is what I have to do to take care of you. If it wasn’t for you, I’d hate it just as much as I used to. It’s only because I know it’s a means to a much better end that I don’t hate it now. But it’s for you and the baby.”
He set me down on my feet and knelt in front of me as he slid the soap along the inside of my thighs, cleaning me of all the traces of our time together. When he finished, he said nothing but turned off the water and wrapped me in a towel.
“I’ll meet you in the bedroom,” he said sweetly before kissing me softly.
When he and I were alone like this and no one else in the world intruded on our time together, I believed everything he promised would come true. That it meant he’d have to be that brutal man everyone else saw him as didn’t matter.
All that mattered was when he was with me, he was the only person in the world I completely trusted with my heart and soul.
Chapter Twenty
Serena
For nearly five months, Ryder trained constantly and when he wasn’t training, he was fighting in matches my father arranged for him. Each night, he lay next to me with his hand on my belly as it slowly grew, the two of us sharing a secret no one else in the world knew about. We talked about my OB-GYN visits and decided we didn’t want to know the sex of the baby until he or she was born. He told me about all the places we could go once he made enough money, and even though he never explained where he was making this money since I knew my father wasn’t the source, I didn’t ask, in part because I didn’t want to know what he had to do to make it and in part because I wanted him to know I trusted him.
But I never stopped worrying that one of those nights he’d step into the ring and when he left, he’d look like Seth did staggering away in defeat.
Every day felt like the calm before the storm. My father seemed happy with his new arrangement with Ryder, smiling in that way that didn’t terrify me whenever I saw him. With each successive win, he made more money and Ryder’s worth grew in his eyes.
Still, I had to wonder if that might be a double-edged sword. The more valuable he became to my father, the more reluctant he’d be to just lose him when Ryder and I could finally leave. We had no plans to tell him in advance, but if he wanted to find us, there’d be nothing in the world that would stop him. We could go to the ends of the earth, and if he decided he wouldn’t let Ryder go, it wouldn’t matter what we tried.
We’d be trapped here until my father decided neither of us were worth enough to care about.
His obsession with making me as miserable as possible seemed to ebb away as his fascination with Ryder fighting again grew. I wanted to believe none of it would matter when the time came and we could finally escape, but I knew with every day there existed a chance that all our plans would be for naught.
The private detective called me once a week to update me on his progress in finding my mother. My hope for seeing her again slowly dimmed as each time he said he hadn’t located her, yet I wondered if I’d waited too long to look for her and she was long gone from the world. If that were the case, I knew who to blame.
Then one night Ryder returned home and I smelled a familiar, sickening scent. It wafted through the air as he walked toward me and leaned down to kiss me hello. I’d know that perfume anywhere. The sweet smell of it had never left me.
He smiled and patted my belly. “How are my two favorite people doing tonight?”
I inhaled deeply, taking the odor of that cheap perfume into my nose. “Where do you go when you go to train with Floyd?”
The surest look of guilt crossed his face before he answered, “The warehouse. When there aren’t fights going on, we train there.”
“Why don’t you train here in the work out room? It’s got all those machines, so I imagine you’d be
able to lift or whatever you do, right?” I asked, my stomach turning from that smell.
Ryder chuckled and shook his head. “Training means more than just lifting. Most sessions, I spar with another fighter. I can’t do that here.”
“Is this training something you’re keeping from my father? I can’t figure out how you’re making money for us to get away from here if you’re just training every day.”
His expression grew serious and he drew his eyebrows in. “Yeah, this needs to be kept a secret, Serena. Just trust me. I’m doing what I have to so we can get away from here.”
I didn’t want to not have faith in him, but I knew where that perfume had come from. He wasn’t going to tell me the truth, though. I knew that too.
“Are we getting close to what we need?” I asked as sweetly as I could while inside every insecurity I had began to plague me just like when I first heard Ryder say he’d been with someone named Kitty.
He smiled and I wanted to believe him when he said, “Almost. I think before the baby comes, we can be out of here.”
I watched for any sign of betrayal in his eyes, but I saw none. That smell hadn’t come from nowhere, though.
“What do you say I get changed and we take a walk in the garden? It’s not too cold out tonight,” he said as he walked into the bedroom.
“It’s April, Ryder. It’s still chilly out at night,” I yelled into him.
He poked his head out of the bedroom and smiled. “It’s got to be fifty degrees out now. We’ll only take a short walk if you get cold.”
I couldn’t say no to him when he looked so eager, so I got up and headed in to get my shoes. “I usually don’t go out into the garden until it’s warm enough that I don’t have to wear anything on my feet. Fifty might be a little chilly for that.”
Ryder stopped getting dressed and turned to face me. “Instead of that, let’s just stay here.”
“Why? It sounded like you wanted to go, so let’s go.”
“No. I don’t want to anymore.”
He pulled me into his arms, and I knew what the sudden change was about. He’d remembered how much I hated wearing shoes. We hadn’t talked about it in months, but he’d remembered.
“Are you sure?” I asked, wishing I hadn’t just minutes before been thinking of him cheating on me with Kitty.
He nodded and kissed me on the forehead. “Yeah. Staying right here sounds much better.”
I wanted to get lost in the feel of his arms enveloping me. I wanted to love how incredible his body felt against mine and revel in his touch.
But all I could smell was that overly sweet perfume of hers.
Her.
Pushing him away, I shook my head. “I can’t. I can’t do this.”
Ryder grimaced, like my words hurt him. “Can’t do what? Have me hold you? What’s going on, Serena? What’s this about?”
“Nothing,” I said as I turned away, still shaking my head as I tried to get rid of the memory of that sickening smell that threatened to choke me if I stayed there next to him.
He followed me into the living room and grabbed my wrist to stop me. Spinning around, I looked into his eyes and saw anger like I’d never seen from him. Then I looked down at where his hand encircled my arm and felt how strong he was holding me there. He had the ability to crush grown men with his hands, but never before had I thought about how he could do the same to me.
Not until now.
“What’s going on, Serena?”
I didn’t want to do this with him, but my emotions began to spill out all over and the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“You fucking smell like her! Is that where you go at night instead of training? Do you go to see her? While I sit here pregnant and worried sick that you’ll be hurt the next time you fight, are you with her?”
Ryder released his hold on my hand and shook his head. His mouth hung open in shock for a moment before he finally said, “I fight for you. For the baby. For us to get the fuck away from here.”
“Then why do you smell like her? All I can smell is that disgustingly sweet perfume all over you,” I choked out as my heart contracted at the thought that he actually might have been with her.
“Like who? There is no her, Serena. There’s you and no one else. Just you,” he explained, his eyes pleading for me to stop.
But I couldn’t.
“That stripper you were with while I was in Italy. The one who was with my father at your fight that night. You smell like her, and it’s making me sick!”
“Kitty?”
I hated the sound of her name coming from his mouth. “Don’t say that name here. Don’t!”
Taking a step toward me, he wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. “Serena, I would never go with her. I made a mistake back then, but don’t let what your father’s trying to do tear us apart.”
Even though I knew he was right, I couldn’t stop myself from pushing him away. Not that it made much difference. He was so much bigger and stronger, so with every shove, he just held me tighter.
“I can’t stand the thought that you were with her, Ryder,” I sobbed into his chest as my emotions finally took over. “Tell me you didn’t go with her now.”
“Serena, I wouldn’t do that,” he whispered against the top of my head. “Don’t do this. Don’t let your father win.”
I looked up and searched his face for the truth. Why would he smell like her if he hadn’t been anywhere near her?
“Does she come around and watch you train, Ryder? Is that why her perfume is all over you?”
He shook his head. “I haven’t seen her since that night, Serena. She’s no one to me, so I don’t even think about her. I don’t know why I would smell like her.”
Inhaling, I smelled his skin and now it seemed like that awful perfume was nowhere to be found. God, was I losing my mind? What was wrong with me?
Ryder tilted my head back and stared down into my eyes with a look that made me feel safe. “I love you, Serena. You’re having my child. How could you think I’d ever be with anyone else?”
“I don’t know. I hated seeing her that night, Ryder. She still cares about you, and there she was about to walk in where I’d just been like she was welcome too.”
He pressed a soft kiss onto my forehead and smiled. “She wasn’t welcome. I would have been happy to never see her again. Your father wanted to cause a fight between us, so he brought her around. I was actually surprised you didn’t mention it that night.”
I closed my eyes, embarrassed that I’d let myself think Ryder would ever be unfaithful to me. “I didn’t want to talk about it. Ever.”
His lips grazed mine before brushing my ear as he whispered, “Then we won’t. I’d much rather talk about a million other things. Or not talk at all.”
The smile in his voice made me open my eyes, and as he pulled back, I saw that look of desire all over his face that made him so sexy. I loved how much he wanted me, even now that my pregnancy had begun to make my body much softer and rounder than usual.
“I don’t want to talk either.”
He slid his hands up under my sweater to lift it over my head before unhooking my bra. Tossing it away from him, he cupped my breasts in his palms and smiled.
“You look so beautiful standing there looking up at me like that. It reminds me of that night in my room when you brought me the chocolate you made. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world, you know that?”
I ran my finger along the top of his pants and teased the head of his cock. “Because I made you chocolate?”
He winced as I took hold of him and began stroking. “No. Because you had that same look in your eyes. Like I was the only man in the world you wanted inside you.”
Slowly, I dropped to my knees and flicked my tongue along the length of his cock, all the while staring up at him to see the effect I had on him. His eyes rolled back and his face grew relaxed before he let out a soft groan.
“You were the only man I
wanted inside me. For weeks and weeks, I’d wanted to touch you, to feel your body against mine.”
Ryder opened his mouth to say something, but I slid my mouth down the length of him and heard him fall silent, except for that sexy sigh he made whenever I sucked his cock down to the base. Just hearing that sound made me want him inside me.
And then he buried his hands in my hair and tightened them slowly until an erotic mixture of my pain and his pleasure filled me as he hoarsely groaned, “Oh, baby…God, I love the feel of your mouth on my cock.”
Nothing was more masculine than when he told me how much he loved me sucking his cock. Not the way he fought and not even the way he protected me. I gazed up at him and watched the pleasure wash over him as inch by inch I slid him into my mouth and then slowly eased up to the tip of his cock, sucking the head between my lips in that way I knew he loved.
His hand pushed down on my head, forcing me to take all of him, and he fed me his cock as I closed my eyes and he set the pace. Above me, he grunted his desire and moaned with every swipe of my tongue across his skin, and I loved every second of it. I didn’t care that with each tug of my hair, pain fanned out across the top of my head. All I wanted was to take him to that place that only I got to see.
That place where he wasn’t my father’s employee or a fighter in the ring. He was just a man in love with me who I could bring to his knees simply by sucking his cock.
“Fuck…don’t stop…right there. Look up at me. I want to watch you take it all,” he moaned as I felt the first twitch of his release against my tongue.
Grasping the base of his cock, he held it tightly as he came, flooding my mouth as he shuddered. I could have watched him like that forever, spellbound by how beautiful he looked because of what I’d done.
When he finished, he knelt down in front of me and kissed me softly on the lips. “I swear to God every time you do that, I think I’m going to black out. Now’s your turn.”
