by Nancy Revell
The pub was completely quiet. You could hear a pin drop.
Bel tried to smile. ‘This all sounds ever so intriguing, Maisie,’ she said, looking up at Joe, who appeared equally baffled.
Everyone’s eyes were totally focused on Bel and Maisie as they now stood facing each other.
No one saw the look of shock and total disbelief on Pearl’s face – nor did they notice her grab one of the chairs as her legs gave way on hearing the name:
Maisie.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
‘Isabelle, my wedding present to you …’ Maisie said, ‘… is me.
‘I present myself to you …’ As Maisie spoke there was the hint of a tremor in her voice, evidence of her underlying nerves.
‘… as your long-lost sister.’
Bel looked at Maisie and didn’t say anything. She was speechless. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.
‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Isabelle,’ Maisie feigned an apology, looking about her with doe eyes. ‘I should have really waited until later … But I just couldn’t put it off any longer … I’ve wanted to tell you for so long now … I’ve just been unsure when the right time was.’
The pub was at a silent standstill, everybody captivated by the most shocking and totally unexpected wedding scene being played out in front of them.
An appalled Lily turned to George and hissed in a whisper. ‘Really?! And this was the right time?’
Polly was looking aghast as she watched Bel and Maisie. The unsaid question on everyone’s lips was, ‘How could this be?’
‘When I saw you today, I knew I just had to tell you … You’ve not just gained a husband today – but also a sister.’
Maisie took Bel’s hand in her own. Bel was too dumbstruck to snatch it away.
Finally she found her voice, and stuttered, ‘I don’t understand!’
Bel was struggling to comprehend what Maisie was saying to her. For a moment it flashed through her mind that it was some kind of sick joke.
‘You are my sister?’ Bel asked incredulously, her voice shaking. Her disbelief more than evident.
‘Yes, I am,’ Maisie said, moving even closer to Bel.
‘Well, technically –’ she touched her cheek self-consciously with her free hand ‘– you are my half-sister … We both clearly have different fathers, but …’ she added as she turned her gaze away from Bel and once again sought out Pearl.
‘We most certainly have the same mother.’
All Pearl could do was stare at her daughter. Her baby girl. The one she had loved with all her being. The one she had given away.
She was aware that Kate was saying something; there was a worried look on her pretty, elf-like face, but all Pearl could hear was a strange roaring in her ears. Like the angry waves of the sea on a bitter, cold winter day. For a moment she was back on the coal-speckled beach in Hendon, her stomach burning with hunger, her eyes on the pregnant belly of the girl, knowing that this too was the fate which awaited her.
Pearl sat in shock. The faces around her were painted with a mixture of astonishment and curiosity. It was as though life had suddenly changed tempo so that everything and everyone was now moving in slow motion.
In the corner of her eye she saw a yellow blur of a little girl in a pretty pinafore dress who was running around.
Pearl’s vision, however, was glued to her daughter.
Her Maisie.
They kept the name, was all she could think.
And as she continued to stare she took in her daughter’s look.
She marvelled at how stunning her daughter was.
The colour of her skin was just like it had been as a baby. A beautiful brown. And those eyes. Eyes that had made her fall in love. Eyes that had broken her heart.
Pearl watched as Maisie turned slightly away from her to look at Bel.
Her two daughters. Together.
Only then did Pearl find her voice.
‘Maisie,’ she said.
It was the first time she had uttered that name aloud since the day Maisie had been born.
‘Maisie,’ Pearl repeated as she stood up. ‘Is it really you?’ She could still not quite believe that her daughter was here. Now. That what she was seeing with her own eyes was true.
Pearl stepped towards her daughter. The daughter she had thought she would never see again.
The daughter that she had thought about every day since the moment she had given her up.
But as Pearl walked towards her Maisie – her baby girl – the roaring in her ears became louder. Then, all of the strength in her body deserted her and her legs buckled. The floor rushed towards her – and Pearl’s world went black.
Chapter Forty
‘Oh, my God, Ma!’ Bel went to catch her mother as she crashed to the floor but it was too late – she landed hard, her head cracking on the wooden floorboards. Bel and Joe instinctively went to Pearl’s aid, while Hector, who had been chatting to Dorothy, pushed through the crowd of stunned wedding guests, and, crouching down next to her, scooped her up in his thick muscular arms as if she was a sleeping child.
‘In the snug, son.’ It was Bill, red-faced and looking worried, pointing the way to the back room.
Lucille started whimpering, ‘Nana! Nana!’ Kate grabbed her and hoiked her on to her hip, shushing her and telling her it would be all right. Polly started to head towards Bel, but then stopped. Joe was there for her sister-in-law.
Everyone watched in shocked silence as Joe, Bel and Maisie followed Hector as he carried a limp, unconscious Pearl through to the adjacent room.
The snug was, thankfully, empty as everyone had been in the main bar, enjoying the wedding and the food and drink. As Pearl started to come round, Hector carefully put her down on to one of the cushioned chairs by the small coal fire that was burning in the corner. Bill hurried in with a large glass of brandy and put it down on the table in front of her.
‘Do you think she’s ganna be all right? Do ya think I need to fetch a doctor?’ he asked Bel, all the time his eyes darting back to Pearl, the woman who had become just as much a friend as an employee these past few months.
Bel perched herself on a stool next to her mother and moved a thick strand of dyed-blonde hair away from her forehead to inspect the damage. Pearl had a tiny cut on her forehead, and her velvet dress had some dirt on it from the wooden floor, but otherwise she appeared unhurt.
‘No, Bill, I think she’s going to be fine. Thanks anyway,’ Bel said, giving a concerned-looking Bill a tight smile before she shot a look at Maisie, who had sat down on the chair next to Pearl.
Bel glanced up at Joe who was leaning on his walking stick in the middle of the snug, a look of grave concern on his face.
‘Joe, can you let everyone know that Ma’s all right and to carry on with the party.’
Joe nodded solemnly and walked out of the room, followed by Hector and Bill. This, they all knew, was a family affair. As the door to the snug was pulled to, Bel heard Joe carrying out her wishes, then Bill’s voice offering everyone a free drink at the bar.
‘Maisie …’ Pearl was now fully conscious, although her speech was a little slurred, as if she had just woken up.
‘Maisie?’ she repeated. She had so many questions; she didn’t know where to start.
‘Yes, Mother?’ Maisie said, staring at Pearl. This was the first time she had seen her mother at such close proximity. Since she had moved up from London, she had only observed Pearl from afar. She looked more worn than she had expected, for a woman in her early forties, but Maisie could tell she had once been very attractive.
‘Or should I call you “Ma” like your other daughter?’ Maisie asked with more than a hint of vitriol in her voice.
Bel looked at Pearl and then back to Maisie. ‘Can one of you at least tell me what the hell’s going on?’ Bel asked. Anger was starting to find its way through the shock.
Maisie’s head turned slowly towards Bel.
‘Isabelle …’ Maisie’s
tone was now filled with condescension, ‘… it doesn’t take a genius to work it out, does it?’
Bel stared back at her new-found sister and fought the urge to slap her hard around the face.
‘Your “ma”,’ Maisie continued, her eyes shooting daggers at Bel and then at Pearl, ‘quite frankly, didn’t want me … so, she simply gave me away.’ Her words dripped bitterness and anger.
‘… That’s “what the hell is going on”, dear sister. No ifs or buts. Our mother …’ a disingenuous smile spread across Maisie’s pretty face, ‘for reasons that are clear for anyone but a blind man to see, decided to keep you. But me? Well, she decided to simply toss me away – hand me over to complete strangers – and then toddle off to happily get on with her own life … unburdened by some bawling half-caste brat.’
Pearl looked thunderstruck and opened her mouth to object, to tell her how wrong she was, but Maisie beat her to it and continued.
‘So, when I found out who my mother was – and where she was – I thought it would be nice for us all to be together. To finally meet each other – after all of these years apart.’
Bel looked at her mother who now had tears in her eyes and a look on her face that Bel had never seen before in her entire life. If she didn’t know better, she’d think her ma was broken-hearted.
‘Maisie,’ Pearl pleaded. She hadn’t been able to take her eyes off her daughter. She looked so like her father it was untrue. The young boy she had loved, even if it had just been for a short while.
‘Maisie, yer dinnit understand,’ Pearl’s voice was breaking with emotion. ‘I didn’t just “toss ya away”. I didn’t just “hand yer over” willy-nilly. I had no choice. You have to believe me. Yer have to understand …’
‘No, I don’t understand!’ Maisie spat back sharply. ‘You seem to have a perfectly good life here. With all your family around you. You even live with your daughter, for heaven’s sake! You don’t get much cosier than that, do you?’
Bel looked at Maisie in disbelief. How wrong could someone be?
‘Oh, Maisie, you really have no idea …’ she started to say, but neither Maisie nor Pearl were paying her any heed.
‘Maisie,’ Pearl was now begging, ‘yer have to believe me. I wanted to keep ya. Would have done anything to keep ya. But there was no way I could keep yer … I was so young … still a child, really … times were different then …’
But Maisie wasn’t listening. She could only feel her own hurt – her own intense resentment and fury that she had been the forsaken child. The one who was not wanted.
‘I loved you!’ Pearl implored.
Bel stared at her mother; never once in her own life had her ma told her that she loved her.
‘Well,’ Maisie said, her eyes narrowing, staring intensely at Pearl, ‘that’s a strange way of showing someone you love them – giving them away.’
Pearl was leaning forward, straining to get as near as she could to her child. She tried to take her hand, but Maisie snatched it away before Pearl managed to touch her. The hurt stabbed at her. Her heart, broken when she had given her baby away all those years ago, was being ripped apart once again. Her baby. Her child. Her daughter. The one being she had loved as she had not loved anyone else since hated her. Truly and deeply. She could see it in her daughter’s face – hear it as clear as day in her voice.
Bel meanwhile was astounded by what was happening in front of her very eyes. She had never seen so much hatred and bitterness, nor so much hurt and heartache, exchanged between two people. Her ma’s face was deathly white, while Maisie’s seemed to be radiating pure animosity.
Bel watched, feeling like a spectator in a terrible tragic drama as Pearl pushed herself out of her cushioned chair and glared at Maisie.
Maisie mimicked her mother’s actions and as she got to her feet, their faces were only inches apart.
‘Well, if you loved me, Ma, then I can tell you for a fact that I have hated you my entire life. There has not been a day in my life when I haven’t thought about you – and detested every bone in your body. It’s just such a relief to finally tell you to your face.’
Bel was shocked at the ferociousness of Maisie’s tone. She herself might sometimes have felt that she too hated her mother – might have even told her a few times in a fit of anger – but that was nothing compared to this.
For a moment Bel thought her ma was going to swing for Maisie, but instead Pearl clenched both hands into fists and held them firmly by her side. She glared at Maisie. Her mouth opened, but she seemed unable to speak the words piling up inside her that wanted – needed – to get out.
Instead her mother did something Bel had never seen before – she started to cry. Tears began to spill unguarded down her face.
Bel stared in disbelief. She had never in her whole life seen her ma this way.
‘I …’ Pearl stuttered, her voice cracking up with emotion, ‘loved yer … I loved yer like I have never loved anyone since. I loved yer for the nine months you were in my belly, and I loved yer even more when I gave birth to ya. I didn’t think it was possible to love another human being the way I loved you …’
Tears were streaming down Pearl’s face. Her mascara was running down her cheeks in dark rivulets. Bel was stunned.
‘The day I gave birth to you,’ Pearl heaved in air, ‘was the best day in my entire life – and also the worst. That day I felt what real love was,’ Pearl sucked in another breath – ‘but when they took you from me I thought I would die right there …’
She looked down at the untouched brandy on the table and reached for it, then knocked it back in one. The sting of brandy seemed to quell the tears.
Maisie’s look was still one of venom. Her mother’s words had not so much as touched her, and she told her so.
‘Words are easy to say, Mother. But what’s the expression, “Actions speak louder than words”? If you had really wanted me, you would have kept me.’
Pearl looked at her daughter and saw only the deep-seated hatred. The lack of desire for any kind of reconciliation.
‘But Maisie, I did want you … wanted yer more than anything in the whole wide world … Don’t you see, I gave yer up because I loved yer too much to keep ya?’
Pearl then turned her attention momentarily to Bel and a softness crept into her eyes as she stared at her daughter, who looked so pretty in her pink wedding dress.
‘And when Isabelle here came along a few years later,’ she told Maisie, ‘I …’ Pearl flashed another look at Bel, this one tinged with guilt, ‘… I felt nothing … I tried. Really tried. It was like I gave you all the love I had and I just didn’t have any more left in me …’ Pearl looked bereft as she regarded Bel with true remorse.
‘But. Aye. Yer right,’ Pearl snapped, her tone hardening as she swung her gaze towards Maisie. ‘I kept Isabelle, because I was older … because I could.’
Maisie’s delicate features formed an ugly sneer as she glowered at her mother before she spat out her retort.
‘So, let’s get this right, Ma. You loved me so much you gave me away – and the daughter you claim not to have loved, you kept. Makes a lot of sense, that.’
Maisie shook her head from side to side.
‘You know what, Ma, I didn’t think it was possible for me to hate you any more than I did already, but I can honestly say that after finally meeting you, I do.’
There was a deathly silence.
There were no more words.
Enough had been said already.
Pearl stared at Maisie, before slowly turning and walking out of the snug, and out of the pub. And, once again, out of her daughter’s life.
Chapter Forty-One
As Bel and Maisie watched their mother walk away, neither of them seemed able to move.
After what felt like an eternity Bel finally stood up and faced her sister. She was still in shock, but she was also very angry.
‘Well, thanks, Maisie,’ Bel uttered her words with a tight mouth. ‘I hope that li
ttle reunion went just the way you wanted – just the way you planned it.
‘Actually, you really do deserve a round of applause, because – let’s face it – your timing couldn’t have been better. I mean, you got to kill two birds with one stone, didn’t you?
‘You told my ma – sorry, I mean, our ma – exactly what you thought of her – got it all off your chest, didn’t you? But as an added extra you got to ruin my wedding into the bargain.
‘It wasn’t enough to knock the stuffing out of your long-lost ma and humiliate her in front of everyone she knows – not that she’d give two hoots about that, to be honest – but you got your icing on the cake by making me suffer as well.
‘By spoiling my special day. Ruining what should have been a happy occasion … I realised just then, sat back, watching your perfectly planned revenge, that it wasn’t just Ma who had to suffer, but me as well. Am I right? It wasn’t just Ma you wanted to get back at, but me too … because, of course, I’ve had such a gilded life, haven’t I? I’ve been such a lucky little mummy’s girl, eh? The one she kept? The one she didn’t toss away? Am I right?’
Bel manoeuvred her way around the small bar table that separated her and Maisie.
‘Well, bravo, Maisie. I hope you’re feeling really pleased with yourself now. You succeeded perfectly in what you very clearly set out to do.’
Bel turned her back on Maisie and took a few steps towards the snug door, before hesitating and turning back round again.
‘But, sister – sorry, “half-sister” – when you’re ready to come out of that fantasy world of yours and hear the truth about what it was really like growing up with our mother, then please do come and see me, and we can have a nice cup of tea and a good natter,’ Bel was now spitting nails, ‘and then I can tell you just how perfectly wonderful our life together really was …’
Bel’s head swung round and she cast a look through the frosted glass of the snug door.
‘As can most of the people out there,’ she pointed her finger at the door: ‘friends and neighbours who used to see her staggering around the place, half-cut, or with some dodgy no-good bloke – but that, of course, was only when she decided to grace us with her presence.
