Turning, I looked down at the paper in my hand, my lips curving into a smile. It was her cell number along with her address, a sign she wasn’t done with me yet.
That had to count for something.
There was still hope and the ball was in my court if I was brave enough to take the leap.
Fifteen
Angel
St Patrick’s Day
I usually loved St. Patrick's day. But this time around I had no enthusiasm for the festivities. Well, I had no passion for anything anymore. Instead, I found myself loathing every little event that was celebrated, no matter how trivial.
Each week the morale committee at work always chose wacky, and supposedly "fun" days to liven the place up. The week after my trip we celebrated Cherry Pie day and I almost cried when my fun-size treat in the shape of a heart landed on my desk. And it was all because I couldn't share these days with Nick.
I daydreamed about us walking hand in hand, watching the Paddy’s day parade. Eating treats, drinking Guinness, and even Nick wearing a ridiculous oversized green hat.
But it was still just a dream. It felt like the whole trip had been five days of exquisite pleasure that I'd conjured up. It was an unreal sensation and even when I told my friend about Nick, she looked at me with disbelief.
I'd promised to give myself a few days of wallowing but it had gone on for far too long. Nick wouldn't be wallowing, and would probably kick my ass out of bed if he knew how miserable I was. But he hadn't called. For whatever reason, he'd not used the piece of paper I'd slipped him.
He’d moved on.
And if he could move on then so could I… Well, maybe in a few more days. I’d give myself the remainder of the weekend then that would be that.
It wasn't the new year, but there were always ways to start fresh again and I'd already wasted so much time. And for the rest of the year, my life was going to be different or I was going to die trying.
And even though he hadn't called me, he had inspired me. Because of him, I would try new things; take a rock-climbing class, go to law school, finally pass the bar as I'd always promised myself I would, or for starters simply find a dry ski slope and get better at not falling on my ass.
Bringing the blanket up to my chin, I watched the local TV news interview people on the teeming streets, all excited about the parade that was about to start any minute and asking what floats they expected to see this time around. The camera panned and the crowd of spectators was a sea of green and happy faces.
I sat there and wished once again that I had gotten Nick’s cell number before I left.
With a sigh, I rubbed a hand over my face, feeling the same ache in my chest the day I walked away from him in the airport, hoping that he would call me when he got home.
He hadn't nor had he reached out in the last few weeks since then despite having my cell number. For the first couple of days or so, I chalked it up to him being busy on his arrival, settling into his business once more, catching up with his brothers and his mom.
But as the days went by, I started to lose hope. Maybe it wasn’t as strong as I thought it was between us, maybe it had all been some wild, crazy dream.
And if I didn’t have the snow globe sitting on my bedside table, I would have thought it to be just that.
My doorbell rang, jarring me out of my thoughts and I threw aside the blanket, wondering who could be at my door. I hoped to god it wasn't Tim. He hadn't tried to contact me since I got back either, and I wanted it to stay that way. But then I remembered the food I'd ordered so I could stay inside, have a picnic on the bed as Nick and I did in our suite, and watch the parade.
Walking towards the door, I picked up my purse ready to hand over the cash. But then I hesitated as looked through the peephole. The view was obscured and dark. What if it was some crazed serial killer? A snort escaped me. What would be the chances? He would have to be desperate to walk up the three flights of stairs and pick my apartment out of the other thirty on the floor. But I was cautious regardless, even if I should've been put out of my heartbroken misery.
“Who’s there?”
“Open up, Angel. It’s me.”
I sighed and banged my head against the door. “Go away, Tim. I told you I don’t want to see you ever again.”
“Honey, just let me in and we can talk. Or we can go to the parade. You always loved Paddy’s day.”
I groaned, wanting to be strong. It would be so easy to let him in, to start again. To give in and not feel lonely anymore.
“Angel? I miss you so much. Please? I know I shouldn’t have slept with Michelle…”
His voiced droned on, piling on the excuses, but the mere mention of her name and the pain and humiliation he'd put me through came flooding back. I gritted my teeth and stood up straight. "Leave me alone, Tim! If you're not gone in ten seconds, I'm calling the cops!"
I heard him whimper then there was a loud thud as his fist or his head banged against the door. "I'm not going anywhere till you let me in!" The banging continued, pounding and rattling the chain that dangled from the door. I latched it quickly. Then closed my eyes and counted to ten.
But when I opened them again everything was silent. Was he still out there? I looked through the peephole again, vowing that if he were there I would phone the cops. No question about it.
A shadow moved, a figure in black coming closer to my door.
“I told you to go away!”
“Angel, it’s me. He’s gone.”
I threw the locks.
Slowly, I opened the door and nearly squealed aloud as I took in Nick standing there, a bouquet of green and white roses in his hands. He was dressed smartly in a tux that made him look like James Bond. He had an oh so sexy grin on his face and I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
"Hey, gorgeous," he said, holding out the flowers. "Happy Paddy's Day."
Trembling, I took them. “W-what are you doing here, Nick? What happened? Where’s Tim?”
His grin only became wider. “Wow, one at a time. I came to see you, silly. And yes I scared that little weasel off. He won’t be bothering you anymore.”
"I don't know what to say. Thank you. But why, Nick? I don't understand why you're here. You didn't call…"
“I know and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have waited so long. But you see, I went home to Minnesota, back to reality and finally realised that everything had changed.”
“It had?” I asked lamely, a thousand thoughts running through my mind. He was here. Nick was here, in front of me, outside my apartment door in North Carolina.
"Yeah," he answered, reaching out to touch my cheek with his fingers. "I realised I didn't want to go on with my life without adding something vital and precious to it."
Like strings pulling us together, I took a few steps forward, until I could smell his aftershave. “What was that?”
“You,” he said, his hand cupping my cheek. “You, Angel. Whatever we found in Colorado, it’s still here, inside me and I find myself unable to let it go. I tried to forget you. I was miserable… but I couldn’t. I need you, baby.”
“Nick,” I whispered, tears threatening my eyes. “What took you so long?”
He chuckled, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, crushing the flowers between us. "Well, a man can't just pick up and leave, Angel. I had to make arrangements, rent this dashing tux, and I had to secretly organise some time off from work for you. The whole nine yards… my grand gesture to you."
I laughed then, hugging him tightly to me, not believing this was happening.
“You called my boss?”
“Yes, he’s a pretty romantic kinda-guy. You have next week free, and you’re coming with me.”
He hadn’t given up. He had just flown across the country for me. “Where are we going? I’m afraid I’m a bit underdressed at the moment.”
He pulled back, giving me a once-over. "I've never seen an outfit more tempting." He then laughed. "But my mom might want to see yo
u at least fully clothed."
“Y-your mom is here too?” I asked, shocked as I looked down the hall.
“No, but she wants you in Minnesota by the end of the day. The obligatory Paddy’s day feast.”
“You told your mom about me?”
He nodded. “She’s the one that made me see sense. Whacked me over the head with a TV guide actually for being so stupid, for not giving love a chance.”
“But, Nick… nothing has changed.”
"Everything has changed, Angel. Life is too short to not be with the one you love. I want you to come see my home, the life I could give you. I want you to move in with me, and be my lifelong roommate… I want you to be my Valentine every year from now on. But if that's not okay, I will drop everything. My business, my family. I will relocate here if I have to."
“You’d give all that up for me?”
“I’d give up everything to be with you.”
“You can’t Nick…”
“Why not? I will for you. I love you.”
At that moment I knew I felt the same. He was ready to give up his whole world so we could be together and I was too. There was nothing tying me down here, not really. I could get another job, apply to law school close to him, make new friends. And I would do it all for him.
“I love you too.”
“So is that a yes, you’ll come with me? Give it a trial run?”
I swallowed and glanced up into his loving brown eyes.
“When does our flight leave?”
His eyes lit up; the fires stoked and hot for me. "You're coming with me?"
“Yes!”
“Well, we have a few hours yet before we need to leave.”
I grinned at him, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him into the apartment, shutting the door behind us. "That gives us plenty of time to get reacquainted then."
Nick reached for me. “I love the way you think, my dirty Valentine.”
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Dream Daddy
Lola Ray
The front door slammed. I sat up straighter at my desk and strained to hear the voices below. It couldn’t be. He was early. My daddy was speaking, greeting someone, and then I heard him. Mack was here!
In a panic I looked down at my clothes. I’d been so busy finishing off a batch of algebra homework so that I would be ready in time for daddy’s best friend, Maddox McClane, arriving that he’d gone and blown my whole plan out of the water. I was still in my nightclothes—a loose T-shirt and pair of shorts—and was nowhere near presentable. Instead of changing that morning I decided to get stuck in to my homework so that it would be done and dusted before the Sunday game. But the time had slipped away from me. I had to get ready, dress up for him. Daddy would soon be calling for his chips and dip, too.
Sundays, especially during this football season, were days that I lived for. Not because I liked football, far from it. I could barely stand the sport. But Daddy worshiped the game as most of the men and boys around our small southern town of Weyworth did. The only reason I loved Sundays was because it was the only real time I got to spend with Mack. He would come around each week to watch the game with him. Apparently they used to know each other as kids and when Mack moved into the house behind ours a few months ago, a weekly tradition was born. Mack and Daddy would be glued to the men running around on the field up on the big flat-screen TV in the den, and I would sit quietly out of the way staring in turn at Mack.
Dreaming of him on top of me.
Dreaming of him slipping into me, stealing my virginity away.
Dreaming of him becoming mine.
It didn’t matter that he was my daddy’s best friend. It didn’t matter that he was nearly twice my age. The only thing that mattered was that feeling when, on rare occasions, he glanced over at me and gave me a sneaky smile. That smile made me want to part my legs right in front of him, to let him have a sneak peek at what he was missing out on… on what I wanted to give him. Like the snacks I regularly served him, I wanted to offer up my virginity on a platter to him.
A man like him, there was no doubt he could have any woman he wanted, and probably had. He had the look of experience about him. But I wanted him to want me. To see me. He had to realize that I was no longer a little girl, that my breasts were no longer budding small peaches, but were now real handfuls to grab hold of. To squeeze and nip at whenever he wanted.
I was getting myself all worked up just thinking about him and I closed my textbook with a loud thud and pushed my chair back and headed toward the shower. I had to work quickly. There wasn’t a moment to waste. I had less than three hours to bask in his presence and I’d already wasted a small portion of that time daydreaming when I should’ve been downstairs. I would pray for overtime to make up the minutes.
With my hair scooped up into a bun I soaped the suds all over my body and hastily rinsed them off. It was the fastest shower in the history of all showers, a world-record. I resisted the temptation to let my hands skim over my body while fantasizing about Mack… better to fantasize about him where I could see him, in the flesh. Dropping water everywhere, I sprinted back across the hall to my room to towel off and get dressed.
The decision on what to wear was always a difficult task each week. It had to be good enough that I would look hot, but not too hot. Not so slutty that Daddy would notice and send me back upstairs to change. That would be far too embarrassing. Daddy was always pretty strict about what I could and couldn’t wear. But I had my ways getting around his scrutiny and disapproval. Not that he paid me very much attention anyway, it was only when he wanted something that he dared to look at me—or when I’d accidentally done something wrong. I’d convinced myself that him ignoring me had to do with me reminding him too much of my mother. The woman who had broken his heart and skipped out of town, leaving both of us behind.
But really he was just a grade-A dick who resented the fact he had to put a roof over my head ever since my mother split. He treated me like his own personal slave, not his daughter, and for the next year or so before I went to college (if he would let me, and not keep me in this dead-end town) I had to put up with it. Keep my head down, get good grades, and soon I’d be free. But I didn’t want to wait that long, especially not when I thought about Mack… my one true escape.
At my closet I pulled out a few choice items then pursed my lips as I tried to decide between what I’d set out. It was either going to be a pair of tight jeans that would show off my legs, matched with a simple scooped-neck top, or it would be the recent purchase I’d managed to snag in the autumn sale; a strappy, pale yellow sundress. The weather was colder now, but I could still get away with wearing it, especially indoors. It was perfectly respectable with a hem just above my knee. Something that I could wear to church but would still sinfully show off my curves.
I grinned as I thought of what I could do to spice it up, and put the bra I’d originally intended to wear back in the drawer. The fabric of the dress and the paneling at the front would give my breasts enough support, but was also thin enough that I was sure my nipples would be temptingly visible nubs for Mack to see. Just the idea of him staring at my body brought a warm flush all over my skin, my nipples already hardening. I hadn’t even seen him yet and I was already buzzing with lusty excitement.
With the dress zipped up, I slipped on a cute pair of flats and quickly dusted a smattering of makeup on my face. Not too much. Daddy hated it when I wore too much. He would tell me I looked like a common whore—like my mother—if I choose the wrong lipstick color or if I coated my lashes with thick mascara. So I kept it simple, sweet, and innocent. Just the look I was going for, if I was being honest with myself. I was far from inn
ocent though. Something had awoken in me recently. A desire, a fire that I believed only Mack could quench.
As I was about to reach for the door handle of my bedroom, ready to run downstairs and make my entrance, I stopped. Before I could talk myself out of it I lifted the skirt of the dress, hooked my fingers around the sides of my white panties and pulled them down and shook them off.
The idea of me being bare in his presence, or of the chance that Mack might sneak a peak under my skirt as I crossed over my legs had me feeling all kinds of naughty and wet. Maybe I’d even twirl a bit when Daddy wasn’t looking, let the hem of the dress flutter upwards for Mack to see, I thought with a dirty grin, and ran down the stairs.
“Hey! Keep your noise down. We can’t hear what they’re saying,” Daddy shouted as I entered the sitting room that was really more of a den. It was dark, the shades partially drawn so the light didn’t land on the TV. Breathless from my little run—I had to admit I had made quite a racket coming down, overly excited to see Mack—I apologized to my father and eased myself into the spare chair off to the side. Knees together. For the time being.
“Yeah, well don’t make a habit of it. Like a herd of elephants it was,” Daddy said and turned his attention back to the screen, where they were playing commercials; trying to sell men like my daddy a new truck. He hadn’t missed a damn thing of the actual game, but I resisted shaking my head and talking back; he’d scolded me for much worse in the past, and I didn’t want to get banished to my room and away from seeing and spending time with Mack.
Speaking of Mack, I took a deep breath and cautiously elevated my gaze toward where I knew he was sitting. I hadn’t yet looked directly at him. I had to be careful not to be too obvious. Daddy was in the Lazy Boy closest to me and I was forced to look past him to the other black leather recliner in order to see Mack. Timing my gazes was crucial. But I was used to this. My daddy never gave up his chair for anyone and Mack was always in the chair farthest away from my own seat. Either way I had to be careful and clever; I was forced to divide my attention.
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