I smiled faintly. Nora was best friends with Scott’s mother, and she’d taken the breakup worse than just about anyone, except maybe Scott himself. She hadn’t approved of Adam from the beginning, insisting that anyone who would enter into a relationship with someone who was already taken didn’t have a solid moral compass and the fact that he was older and from a wealthy family would only lead to trouble. My dad had been much more accepting, saying that as long as Adam made me happy and treated me well, he didn’t care who I dated. This had started yet another argument, and I’ve tried to stay out of the discussion ever since, choosing instead to just obey Nora’s rules, even if they seemed unfair at times.
“I can’t believe it’s Halloween and we’re doing absolutely nothing,” Hannah complained, breaking me out of my thoughts. “We have to be the two more boring people in the world.”
I contemplated showing her the pregnancy test for kicks, but decided that was probably a little too much excitement, even for Hannah. “Halloween isn’t such a big deal,” I said, laying down next to her and instinctively crossing my arms over my stomach.
“Speak for yourself. I was hoping Nolan would throw a big party or something,” she sighed.
“He’s grounded,” I said, reciting a piece of information Adam had told me at some point during the week.
“Nolan Reeves is grounded? How in the world did that happen?”
“I guess his parent’s proved more powerful than him,” I replied. “Apparently they found his pot stash.”
“I would totally smoke pot for Nolan Reeves.”
“I turned to her. And I would totally kill you if I ever find out you did.”
“Do you and Adam ever do anything fun?” Hannah asked, rolling over to her side and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at me.
“Everything we do together is fun,” I replied, dismissing her question. It wasn’t the first time she tried to trick me into telling her something juicy, and I knew it wouldn’t be the last. The first time with Adam had happened so quickly and was far from planned; I hadn’t known how to bring it up with Hannah then, and never tried to after. As far as she knew, we were still very much in the holding hands and exchanging lovestruck gazes phase, and for the most part, we still were. We’d just taken things a little too far, a little too many times.
I stood up and headed towards my dresser, rummaging around for something more comfortable to wear. I rearranged a few shirts, putting the ones I rarely wore on the bottom of the pile. Once Hannah went to bed, I would sneak the test in here and bury it under them, where it would remain safe until I figured out what to do.
Hannah came up behind me, startling me. “You know,” she said, reaching in and stroking a tank top that I couldn’t remember ever wearing. “It wouldn’t kill you to dress a little flashier. I mean, I get that Adam loves you for you and whatever, but it definitely wouldn’t hurt to give him more of an example of what he’s got.”
“I really have no idea what you’re trying to tell me,” I said. Hannah was always trying to talk me into dressing up more, which never made sense to me. I would think she’d be happy I was interested in giving her competition for any of the guys she liked.
Hannah pulled the tank top out and held it up to her, spinning in front of the full length mirror we had on the back of our door. “I’m just saying that you might be cute, pretty even, but you aren’t sexy,” she explained.
I snatched the tank top from her and put it back in the drawer. “Maybe I don’t want to be sexy.”
“Have you not seen Grease? Adam is a total Danny.”
I looked at her in disbelief. “I can’t even begin to tell you all the things wrong with Grease,” I said, shaking my head.
She shrugged. “Just a suggestion.”
I closed the drawer and headed towards the door. “I think I’m going to go for a walk on the beach,” I said. Bella Vista was oceanfront, so I didn’t think Nora would have a problem with me going out for a little, even if it was already getting dark.
“Want me to go with you?” Hannah offered, but I shook my head.
“No, I kind of just want to be alone.”
“Why?”
“I just do. I have stuff on my mind.”
Hannah raised her eyebrows. “I was only kidding, you know. I don’t think you should change for Adam. I just wanted to give you some clothing advice is all.”
I smiled. “I know, it’s not that.” I stepped towards her and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly for a few moments.
“Are you okay?” She asked, now looking concerned.
I forced another smile and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just need some ocean air and alone time, okay? I’ll be back in a little. Tell Nora and Dad if they ask.”
Hannah agreed and without another word, I slid out of the bedroom and down the steps. As I passed the kitchen, I could hear the faint sounds of an argument dying down and the clanking of dishes being put away. The calm before the storm, I couldn’t help but think to myself.
I snuck out the back door, not wanting to deal with the questioning I knew would ensue if they saw me. I left my shoes on the deck and hurried out on the sand, relishing the way the cool ocean air felt on my skin. I hadn’t bothered bringing a jacket for that very reason.
I walked down to where the dry sand met the wet sand, just like I had that first night, the night where everything started to change. Adam was such a mystery then, a cute boy with a bright smile and a promise for something more. This wasn’t supposed to happen, especially not like this. Adam might have been the perfect candidate for my first real love, maybe even something more someday. But the father of my child? I wasn’t sure I could fathom that, and everything that went with it.
I sat down in the sand and pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my hands and then did the unthinkable; I started to cry. It had been so long since the last time I cried, I could barely even remember what it felt like. I had teared up a little the night I broke up with Scott, but that was so different, and for much different reasons. I hated that I’d hurt him, but it hadn’t hurt me, not at all. I knew that was I was doing was right, and for the best of everyone involved. There was no excuse for this. I loved Adam to the best of my ability, but that didn’t mean I was ready to give up my life for him.
The truth was, as well as I thought I knew Adam, I wasn’t sure how he was going to react to this. This was his senior year; he had the rest of his life ahead of him, waiting for him to begin living it once June came. I hadn’t doubted his feelings for me once since the night we met, but if there was anything that could change his mind about me, it had to be this. I was suddenly overcome with guilt over what this could potentially do to him and his future, even though I knew I wasn’t alone in the blame. We had both caused this, and we both needed to find a way to deal with it; I just wished I wasn’t the one who had to relay the news.
My family was another thing entirely. I almost didn’t want to imagine how they would act, how they would feel when I revealed this to them. I had always been such an easy child, one that did what she was told, sometimes even before she was told. I got excellent grades and had big aspirations for the future, I had goals for myself. But I wasn’t a child anymore, and it seemed as though I had gone off and done something stupid the second I had an opportunity to. How else were they supposed to look at this?
I stayed there for what felt like an eternity, sobbing into my hands and going over every possible scenario in my mind. I pictured Adam bolting the second the words left my mouth; Hannah turning away from me, her usually bright faced turned to stone; my dad’s kind, open face turning cold; Nora shaking her head in disappointment, something I had only seen from afar, directed at everyone but me.
I stayed there until the tears stopped flowing and the old ones had dried, and my surroundings had become completely dark except for the lights of Bella Vista behind me and the reflection of the moon on the ocean before me. I stayed until my mind cleared, all thoughts of what I had just
found out and what would happen next finally vacating me for the first time in a week. I stayed until I assured myself that I was going to be alright, no matter what happened next. I had to believe that.
Chapter Two
“This is the stupidest night out of all nights that have ever been stupid,” Hannah announced, picking up half of a hardboiled egg and flinging it across the room. Scott and I watched in unison as it hit the kitchen door and stuck for a minute before slowly sliding to the floor.
“I’d clean that up before Nora comes out here to check on us,” I advised calmly.
She stuck her tongue out at me. “I couldn’t care less,” she claimed. “It’s Friday night, and we’re teenagers. We shouldn’t be trapped in a dining room being forced to make deviled eggs. It’s ridiculous.” She slammed a bit of filling into another egg and tossed it carelessly onto the platter. Scott reached over and fixed it.
“It’s not ideal, but it’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened,” I replied, carefully rearranging the deviled eggs on the platter I was assigned to. Hannah and I had no sooner gotten home from school earlier in the day when Nora appeared, telling us to call off any plans we had because apparently a few people had cancelled on her, and she needed the extra help. Hannah had immediately begun protesting, even though she didn’t actually have plans. Adam and I were supposed to go out to dinner and then hang out around his house until curfew, but I was secretly glad that I’d had to cancel on him. I’d managed to avoid him all day at school, and wanted to keep that up until I figured out what I was going to tell him, and when.
“Coming from you, that doesn’t mean much,” Hannah snapped. “You already have a hot boyfriend. I’m not exactly going to meet anyone interesting sitting in my dining room playing with eggs all night. No offense, Scott.”
Scott didn’t even look up. “None taken,” he replied.
I glanced over at him. Scott had already promised to help with all the stuff, and didn’t know Hannah and I would be here. I knew it had to be awkward for him, considering we hadn’t said more than a few words to each other since the night we broke up. Hannah had told me on a few different occasions that Scott still didn’t like the breakup, and wasn’t really over me, but I’d ignored the information the best I could. I’d always been happy with Adam and never considered what would have happened if we hadn’t started seeing each other.
“Just tell me, is he hanging out with Nolan tonight?” Hannah asked. Rumor around school that day was that Nolan wasn’t grounded anymore, which just pissed Hannah off even more. She always chose to take it out on me, insisting that I had some magical power to get her and Nolan together because I was dating Adam, and just refused to do it.
“Last I heard, that was the plan,” I answered. I finished the last egg and pushed the tray off to the side, ready to start another batch. Nora had prepared everything earlier in the day, and it was up to us to get it done and ready for serving tomorrow. It really wasn’t such hard work, just tedious and time consuming.
“That doesn’t bother you at all?” She asked, catching me off guard.
I looked up at her. “Does what bother me?
“Not knowing what Adam is doing tonight.”
“No, should it?”
Hannah shrugged. “I don’t know. All I’m saying is, before you came along, Adam dated lots of girls. I don’t think he’s been with anyone as long as he’s been with you, and it has to be hard for him, when he can’t see you…” She let her voice trail off, her way of building up suspense for whatever she planned on saying or hinting at next.
“Do you have a point?” I asked.
“Nope, I’m just surprised that you’re perfectly okay with him being out on the town when you’re stuck at home, doing this.” She made a face at her platter and pushed it towards Scott, though he wasn’t done his yet.
“I trust him,” I said pointedly. “I think he can handle being away from me for one night.”
Hannah raised her eyebrows, but before she could get another word in, Scott spoke up. “He cheated on his last girlfriend,” he said, looking directly at me for the first time in I don’t know how long.
I felt myself freeze up. “What?”
“Maggie,” he reminded me. “He cheated on her, with you. What makes you think you’re any different?”
“Shut up, Scott,” Hannah said, suddenly on my side. She shot him a warning look.
“Am I not just continuing with the same point you were trying to make?” He asked. “Adam and Nolan aren’t that different, not really. They’re both used to getting exactly what they want, exactly how and when they want it.” He finally broke off his stare and looked down at the table.
I felt tears gather in my eyes, but I blinked them away furiously. “He loves me,” was my only argument. It sounded weak, even to my ears, but it was all I could think of. And I believed it, I always had. Love wasn’t something that had always seemed so plausible to me, but with Adam, it was.
Before anyone could say anything else, the door to the kitchen opened and Nora stepped in, directly on the egg. She looked down on the ground and then back up at us, frowning.
“Oops,” Hannah said.
Nora reached down and picked the egg up, wrapping it in a paper towel I had laying on the table next to me. “How is it going in here?” She asked.
“Fine,” I replied immediately. The last thing I wanted was to get Nora involved in the Great Adam Debate. I already knew that she’d side with Hannah and Scott, naming every possible flaw Adam had. He was too old for me, too experienced, came from too wealthy a family, drove too fast in a car he had been given, not earned with his own money or hard work. Every time she started on this tirade I was tempted to point out that my father hardly fit the part of the ideal man in her own words, but I didn’t want to rock the boat any further.
“Are you the only one done?” She asked, reaching for my tray.
I nodded. I was always the first one done, whenever Hannah and I were tasked with something to do around Bella Vista. Unlike Hannah, I hated to drag my feet, no matter how much I might hate the task at hand.
“Good. Come in to the kitchen for a second, I want to get you started on the vegetable tray.”
I followed her silently into the kitchen, leaving Hannah and Scott to start a conversation full of whispers.
Erin was leaning over a giant pot of marinara sauce, a look of concentration on her face. She was a petite woman, shorter than me, with Scott’s curly black hair. She was nice enough, but had a tendency to be a little too nosy. She’d seemed to like me a lot when Scott and I were dating, but I’d always felt a little awkward around her since.
“Lainey!” She exclaimed when she noticed I was in the kitchen. She stopped what she was doing and walked over to me, enveloping me into a hug. “It’s so nice to see you again. It’s been too long.”
I forced a smile as Nora beamed. “It’s nice to see you, too,” I said, quickly extracting myself from her arms and turning back to Nota. “What do you want me to do with the vegetable tray?”
Nora walked over to where she had already chopped up and bagged different vegetables and gathered them together in one larger bag. “Just arrange them on a tray and then mix the dip together; I put all the ingredients with the carrots,” she explained.
I started gathering all the bags and was getting ready to head back to the dining room, when Erin started talking again. “So how is that new boyfriend of yours?” She asked, shooting me a smile that looked nothing but kind. Nora’s face hardened slightly, and she turned back to whatever she had been working on previously.
“He’s good,” I said, forcing another smile.
Erin nodded thoughtfully. “You know, Scott mentions you all the time still,” she continued. “Don’t tell him I told you, of course, but he does.”
“Oh.” I should have known that things could have gotten more awkward. They always could.
“I’m just letting you know, in case, well, with Adam going away to college nex
t year and all. He is going away to college, right?”
I nodded. Nora had already asked me the same question half a million times. For whatever reason, she seemed to believe Adam had no motive in life, no intention to be anything more than the teenaged boy that was corrupting her stepdaughter.
“Do you know where to?” Erin persisted.
I shook my head. Words seemed unnecessary at this point. Anything I said would probably go unheard, anyway.
Erin looked sympathetic. “Well, unless he’s planning on going to Haven Community, and I’m not sure the Montgomery’s would allow that, it looks like you two might be in for a long distance relationship. Simon and I had to do that for a bit, back when he was in med school, and let me tell you, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do! Well, that and childbirth, but hopefully that last one is still a ways away for you! You’re too young for either, really. You shouldn’t want to get tied up to someone you can’t even see every day,” she paused just long enough to sigh. “Scott, though, that boy would follow you till the ends of the earth, I tell you. I’ve never seen a boy so stuck on a girl…”
“I have to get back out there,” I interrupted before she could start on another spiel. “Thanks.” I turned and hurried out of the kitchen door.
Hannah and Scott stopped whatever they were talking about and looked up at me. “Did Erin trap you?” Hannah asked sympathetically.
Scott shot her a look and she shrugged helplessly. “Your mom doesn’t know when to stop,” she pointed out. “What was she saying to you, Lainey?”
I shook my head. “Nothing I don’t already know.”
Hannah raised an eyebrow and Scott looked away, his cheeks slightly red. I wondered if he knew his mom was still plotting on ways to get the two of us back together.
“Anyway, Lainey, what I was saying before, forget it. I was just upset; obviously I don’t think Adam would really ever cheat on you. I’d kill him if he did, anyway.”
I smiled faintly. “Good to hear.” I started to arrange the vegetables on the tray, and the doorbell rang. We all looked up at each other.
The Consequences of Forever (Lainey) Page 3
