by Amy Brent
It just made her feel more alone.
She ended up in some baby stores, looking towards her future as she eyed baby blankets and cribs. Their apartment was small but they had a small den where she could set up the baby’s room. Holly wasn’t sure if the fancy changing tables were necessary as she looked at them, deciding that a thick blanket and any safe surface might do the trick. The strollers were pricey and seemed impossible for her to own, despite her job and she knew that she didn’t have twenty girlfriends to have a big baby shower with.
She was home and showered by the time practice started, wearing her comfortable yoga pants and a loose tee shirt, feeling like her stomach was showing her predicament. Lisa walked back into her therapy room, cleaning it up before she took a seat to watch them and see how everyone was doing. Holly knew that her skin was pale and that her eyes showed traces of red from all of the tears she’d cried, though everyone was focused on the players on the ice. Walter glanced up at her, smiling as she nodded back at him with a forced smile.
Aaron sat on his couch staring forward, knowing that he could be at the practice but not wanting to see Holly right now. It was harder for him to think about going in when they were over more than it was when they were together. At least then he could talk to her. Now she acted like she never wanted to see her again. He didn’t believe that she was really done despite the phone call, feeling angry and lost as he sat in his house alone.
Aaron was not the kind of guy to pursue a woman who had made it clear that she didn’t want to be with him and he’d always been that way, usually moving on with something casual easily. He didn’t want to harass Holly, but he didn’t believe her. Aaron leaned back and decided to give himself the day to wallow and be a human the next day, though tonight wouldn’t include whiskey.
They were both needed at the arena the following night for a home game and she cried all the way up until she took a shower, since Lisa was at her graphic design job for the day. She washed her face under hot water as she felt dried up, wiping it off with a soft towel as she stood naked in front of the mirror. Holly was still slim and she ran her hands over her stomach slowly. She wasn’t showing yet but she knew that there was a life in there. What would she do when she was clearly pregnant? What would Aaron say?
Holly felt like she should create something to go with her pregnancy, have a relationship to fall back on. She couldn’t even imagine that.
She was in her room and dressed for the game before it started, her hair in a long French braid down her back. Holly heard the team coming down the walkway and she added some red lip tint to her dry lips to give herself some color to her pale face. Holly saw Tanner walk inside and she smiled his way as she walked forward to pretend to be an interested sports therapist that wasn’t broken inside.
The game was touch and go with her boys winning by a goal at the end of the game, celebrating on the ice together as she let out a long sigh. They all seemed healthy and that was a good thing. Her eyes drifted to the bench to take a quick look at Aaron, seeing the way his jaw was set and the circles under his eyes. He didn’t look good and she glanced away quickly as she saw him start to return her look. They’d played this game the entire game and she wanted to take back everything and drag him to his office and make him scratch her itch desperately. That had gotten her in trouble before but what could it do now? She was horny.
At her first appointment about the baby, Holly found out that the pills she’d been taking were bad when they’d been distributed. There were probably going to be several surprise babies for a few women but why did she have to deal with it in her situation? She had asked for every bit of information that she needed and noted websites that she should visit on her phone in the notes app. Holly left crying as she walked home.
Chapter 171
The next couple of weeks passed by slowly and painfully as she kept up her strong front for everybody, dropping that at home and little by little with Walter. He was a really caring guy underneath it all and he helped. Aaron seemed to get back into the game as she watched him from afar, she being into her job that was going to support her and the child inside of her. She knew that it would be ugly when she had to tell the team but she had great health insurance until then and she was going to take advantage of it, since she might lose her job for lying anyway. What a complicated web she had weaved.
The next trip was going to be a week from then and she packed as many snacks as she did clothing, all loose and comfortable for her to wear as she hid her condition. Holly knew that she needed to go shopping soon for maternity clothes and she both loved and hated the idea. She was really in love with her baby even with all of the pain that came along with it.
The phone calls had stopped as well as the texts. Aaron pretended that she wasn’t there most of the time, the anger still in his gaze when it did pass over her before he went to speak to the team doctor. She missed their talks and missed their intimacy but she made friends with the team and a couple of their girlfriends. It was nice hanging out with other people and she appreciated it when they were kind about her pregnancy, letting her do what she needed as they drank and partied around her. It was part of being with a team and she liked watching them.
Lisa was getting excited about the baby as well. She’d dropped the talk about Aaron though Holly still saw the expression on her face sometimes that told her she thought about it. They slowly set up what they could in the shoe box of a den before a month later when she’d be finding out what it was with Walter and Lisa. He’d gotten into it, getting excited when everything was going well and joking around about corrupting his niece or nephew.
Holly also noticed a bit of a spark between him and Lisa as they got to know each other.
She carried on, beginning to wear her maternity jeans and slacks when she didn’t wear her go to yoga pants. Her stomach was small but it showed that she was having a baby and she still fought to cover it up.
Aaron watched her go everywhere with Walter as they’d leave the arena, talking seriously and closely as they walked to his monster of an SUV. After games, after practice and they even arrived together a few times. Holly looked beautiful and different to him somehow as he watched her when she wasn’t looking. She was glowing and…something else. He couldn’t put his finger on it. Maybe she was happy with his center. Maybe she was having the kind of sex with him that he’d had, making him hit his desk as he sat alone in his office.
The team was moving quickly. There were a few great sponsors signing on and they were in a winning streak. It took a lot of time for Aaron that would otherwise be spent thinking about Holly and he appreciated that.
One night, he went out drinking with them as he found the thoughts too much. Walter was conveniently absent and he looked around as he threw back the whiskey that he was familiar with, half listening to something that one of the coaches said. “You in there, Neller?” Pat teased him as he looked at his friend. “What’s gotten under your skin lately?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Aaron said bluntly as Pat shook his head.
“I like that you’re hands on with all of this, but there’s more to life. Aaron, I am here a lot as well but I also balance time with my own family.” Pat told him, making Aaron look at him. “Hell, you’re young. Get laid, at least. You’re a hot ticket in this city.”
Aaron shook his head, letting his eyes pass over the players that were drinking and talking to some of the ladies in the bar, remembering those days. Those days before Holly. He found the gaze of a pretty black haired woman as he continued to look, with bright blue eyes and a soft smile as she blushed. His neglected cock reacted before his heart did, making him realize that he needed to give up waiting for Holly and start living again. He returned her smile, forcing the small sense of hope that was buried under his pain forward as he stood up.
At the next game, Holly noticed the hockey on his neck as she frowned and her heart broke again. Who was she? She was feeling bloated and fat and he was off galliva
nting, as he should be. She focused on the game happening before her with a scowl, trying to pay attention to her players. They won with a few goals advantage and she stood up to scream and clap as the stadium roared with fans. Maybe she could move past this and love what she did again without feeling the pain of her mistake.
Holly was too tired to go out to eat and Walter offered to take her to a quiet dinner. Aaron watched them before he went to Marcy’s apartment for a way to release his emotions, eating quickly before kissing her against the wall as he closed his eyes. She was kind and willing to be with him on his terms, nothing serious or public. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her hard, feeling her full breasts pressing against him as he moved his hands down to her ass. Marcy groaned hard as he squeezed tightly, feeling his pain in his grip. He ripped off her dress and tossed it onto the floor, taking her bare form in from the light of the kitchen as he realized what he was doing. He was going to fuck her thinking of Holly, but the hell with it. Aaron slipped his shirt off of his shoulders and kissed her again, lifting her to carry her to the bedroom.
He sucked on one of her nipples hard as his fingers worked inside of her, listening to her cries and wishing that she smelled like Holly. Marcy preferred the smell of vanilla and it was heavy in the air as he curled his fingers and felt her release on him with a choked cry. He moved down her body to lick her hard, always willing to please a lady no matter what the situation. Marcy grabbed his hair, rocking against him as he heard Holly in his mind but tasted another woman on his lips.
Was Walter doing this? Aaron moved Marcy onto her stomach before donning a condom and taking her hard as she gripped her sheets. She begged for more as he closed his eyes and drove inside deeply, needing the physical release that it was going to give him.
He came with a loud cry of anonymity, not using her name as she did his. Aaron didn’t even know when she’d orgasmed and he pulled out and dropped onto the mattress with a groan. The space around him blurred as he felt something cold nudged into his hand, bringing him back to reality. Aaron took a long sip of the water, listening to the compliments from the woman beside him. Her voice was sweet and soft and her words sincere, making Aaron realize that she was a great idea for him. Why not dive in and see what came of it, since he was here anyway? He looked over at her, seeing her propped up on one arm as she smiled at him, pulling the sheet up to cover herself. “So, I was thinking…would you like to go out to dinner tomorrow night?”
“Out?’ Marcy asked, her eyes brightening.
“Yeah. Somewhere nice.” Aaron promised her, trying to find happiness in her smile.
Holly pulled on a sweater over her protruding stomach, enjoying the Christmas decorations as she walked into the living room. Walter was sitting close to Lisa as she observed them, envying their closeness before she cleared her throat. “Oh. Hey.” Lisa blushed as she looked up, blushing deeply.
“Ready to find out what kind of demon I’m birthing?” Holly asked, rubbing her stomach as she spoke.
“Shut up. That’s my niece or nephew you’re talking about.” Lisa grinned as Walter kissed her hair and pulled her off of the couch. They left the apartment, driving to the doctor’s office in his car as Holly felt her hands shaking. She’d been without Aaron longer than with him at this point and it felt so sad to be doing this without him. Lisa opened her door for her once they were parked and hugged her as she slid onto the sidewalk. “I’m so excited. We get to plan a baby shower.”
There were enough female friends in her life now to do that, making Holly smile. Maybe her family could come out too. “Nothing big.”
The three sat in the waiting room together as Holly closed her eyes and took deep breaths. She was feeling great and the baby was healthy and everything was good. She could do this.
“Holly?” She jerked her head and looked at the familiar nurse, who was smiling at her. “Big day huh?” They were closer and her voice carried through the room.
“Yeah. It is.” Holly agreed as she walked into the hallway followed by her friends. She was led to a different room where she was told to lie down and pull her shirt up to reveal her belly. Holly lowered her pants to a respectable level and her shirt up as she grimaced from the pressure on her bladder. She was forced to drink epic amounts of water for this and she sighed as she hoped that it was worth it. Lisa moved beside her and Walter took up the back of the room as a young woman entered.
“Good morning. Ready to see your baby?” Her voice was bright and cheerful and Holly nodded as brown eyes surveyed the group in the room. “Are we finding out the sex today?”
“I am.” Holly replied, smiling as Lisa chimed in. She saw the girl look between Walter and Lisa and she laughed. “He’s not the dad. Just a friend like her.” She may have sounded amused by it but she was hurting inside as she missed Aaron all over again.
“Well, then. Let’s get started.” Everyone watched closely as she dumped the chilly gel on Holly’s stomach and started to rub the device over it. She told her measurements and information as Holly longed for the bathroom until the woman paused. “So…here is your baby’s legs and you are having a little girl.”
“Oh my God.” Everything stopped for Holly as she felt Lisa squeeze her hand in joy, feeling tears slide down her cheeks. She now knew what this being was and it was going to be her daughter in just a few short months. She looked at her best friend and they smiled at each other as the woman started to tell her more stuff.
Holly was told that she could use the restroom and she pulled her clothes back on before rushing out of the room and across the hall. She had never been so happy to pee and she focused on her baby as she released her pressure. A daughter. Would she look like Holly or Aaron…or both? Would they get along like she did with her mom?
Leaving the restroom, she stepped back into the room for the sonogram pictures and thanked the woman for the good news. Lisa and Walter were amped up and wanted to get lunch before Lisa took her shopping as Holly blinked. She stepped out onto the busy street and took a deep breath for a moment. Everything blurred together and Lisa grabbed her arm. “Are you okay?”
“I just need a sec,” Holly panted as she felt a cold bottle against her hand.
“Here. Drink this.” Walter told her and she knew that it was water since everybody was being so protective of her.
“I want to eat. I’m starving.” Holly admitted, blinking slowly as the world came back into focus. “I’ll decide after that about shopping. Okay?”
They decided on a place as they looked around to see what was close, and Holly bit into her cheeseburger with a happy smile. “Now I feel better.”
“What do you think we need?” Lisa asked as she bounced happily in her seat. They had a little crib and Holly was planning on using the chair in the living room for a makeshift rocker.
“I guess we can get some bedding and blankets now. Clothes. So many clothes.” Holly brightened as she thought about it and Walter chuckled. “Maybe a store or two?”
Chapter 172
They came home with a few bags of items and Holly put them all into the crib for the time being, adding them to the stuff her family had sent her. They weren’t thrilled that she was alone in this but respected her decision to keep the baby, believing that the father had left her and not the other way around. She heard Lisa call out that she was leaving and told her thanks as the door closed. Holly grabbed some yogurt from the fridge as she sat in front of her computer, warming it up as she took in the silence of the apartment. It wouldn’t be much longer and there would be the cries of her daughter needing her.
She noticed something in the corner, realizing that she’d set up alerts for news on the team so she could keep up. Holly clicked on the banner and read down as the news scroll opened as her stomach dropped at one of the headlines. She clicked one more time to read further, scanning the gossip column about Aaron and his new girlfriend. They were pictured together walking into a restaurant and even with the way the woman was blocking her face
, Holly could tell that she was beautiful. More noticeably, he didn’t look as angry and she realized that he must have found someone that made him happy.
That would make it easier to announce the pregnancy she could no longer hide. Maybe he wouldn’t even care and she could just plan her time off in advance with an agreeable boss. Tanner worked well enough to work on his own for a little while during her maternity leave and everything would be fine if he just went along with it. She closed that story, wondering if the woman had met his family and if they were serious. She was jealous of the fact that she was getting Aaron at night in bed, still missing sex very much. Even in the harder times, Holly couldn’t bring herself to meet anyone. The players that she spent time with made it difficult anyway, making her wonder if she ever looked like one of their girlfriends. It wasn’t a bad thing in the end.
The following day as she got ready for work, Holly sighed and pulled a fitted shirt over her pants. Now it was clear that she was pregnant and she needed to be a big girl about it. There was a game and it would be a major way to announce it, but screw it. She was ready. She grabbed her team jacket before she left, knowing that Lisa would be sitting in one of her seats to watch Walter. They had made things official now and she was at every game that she could get to. Holly chose to walk tonight since it was so nice and brisk out and the girls lived pretty close by when she wasn’t exhausted. There were throngs of people in the streets and she smiled as she ducked through them, telling herself that everything would be fine. Aaron had moved on and so could she. Someday.
Holly made her way to the therapy room as people stopped her to congratulate her, making her blush. Tanner had already known and he grinned at her as she walked in. “Is everyone shocked?”
“It would seem so.” Holly replied, laughing as she glanced around. “I guess since I know it’s a girl, there’s no reason to hide it anymore.”
