by Joyce, T. S.
Elyse sighed. Half as good didn’t sound good enough anymore. Not after he’d made her feel so deeply.
“Would you hibernate around here?” she called out, gripping the rough ropes of her swing.
Ian didn’t answer, but Miki came bouncing out of the barn toward her. Ian muttered something below her hearing and yanked his hand back, shook it, and sucked on the side of his index finger. He wore a white T-shirt with grease smudges all over it, and old, worn-out, threadbare jeans that sat low on his waist. The brown had left his eyes. She could tell from here because, when he cast her a quick glance, it was all blue-flame sexy.
“Ian!”
“No, I wouldn’t hibernate around here.” He strode out of the barn, wiping his hands on a dirty rag as he sauntered toward her.
“Why not?”
“I have a proposal,” he gritted out, pulling back the rope swing she sat on and pushing her forward.
“Oh, now you want to talk?”
“I didn’t want to talk because I know what you’ll say. And dammit, woman, I want to get shit done around here before you give me the boot.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw the way you looked at me last night. Like I was a freak. That’s part of the reason I didn’t want to tell you what I am. And I get it. I do. I’m not normal, and this is a lot. But hearing you cry over what I am last night ripped me up. I know what’s coming, but I still want to get you set up for winter before you kick me out.”
“I wasn’t crying for what you are, you ridiculous man. I was crying about missing you all winter.”
He stopped pushing her and strode around front. “What?”
“You’re a bear, okay. I can deal with that. It’s a lot, yeah, but I thought about it, and the animal side of you isn’t a deal breaker. Not after you used him to save me. It’s hard to swallow being away from you for half the year, though. I already miss you.” She shrugged helplessly and repeated softer, “I already miss you.”
His chest rose with his deep inhalation. “Well, we have options on that.”
“What options?”
“I can sleep six months as a bear, holed up in a den somewhere, or I can hibernate human. I’ll wake up for about an hour a day to eat if I do that. The upside is that we’ll be together an hour a day, the downside is I’ll take up more of our food, and we’ll have to work harder to feed us both through the winter.” Ian squatted down between her legs and looked at her eye-level. “I don’t want to leave you for winter either, Elyse. I wish I was human and normal for you, but I can’t avoid this part of my life.”
“So, if you hibernate human, you can stay here?”
“Yeah, but I’ll be boring as fuck. My body slows down so much, I literally only revive for food so I don’t starve. If I’m a bear, I don’t need food. My body is more efficient at hibernating as a grizzly.”
“So, technically speaking, if I had an hour, and you ate quickly, would you have enough energy for anything else?”
Ian gave her a baffled smile. “Like what? Card games?”
“Like sex?”
“Oooh,” he said, lifting his chin as his eyes sparked with humor. “You’re worried about your needs all winter.”
“Whose selfish now, bear-man?”
“Still me…and that’s bear shifter. I have no right to ask you to be okay with this.”
“Will it hurt you to hibernate human.”
He shook his head as the smile dipped from his face.
“Then will you do it for me? I don’t want to dread the winter alone. I’ll take care of your body when you’re sleeping, and I’ll have food ready when you wake up every day. I’ll protect you.”
His eyes went soft, and he leaned forward, pressing his forehead between her breasts. “Are you saying I can stay?”
“Well, if it’s between having you half the year or not at all, I choose you, Ian. That’s an easy decision for me.”
Ian’s striking blue eyes jerked up, and he searched her face like he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. “You choose me?”
“Mate,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair.
That sexy growl rattled his throat as his eyes rolled closed. “Say it again.”
“My mate.” The word felt strange, but exactly right on her tongue.
Ian let out a shaky breath and pressed his lips against hers. She still couldn’t get over how easy it was to kiss him when he was clean-shaven for her, and with a happy giggle, she laid kisses over his cheeks.
Ian growled and bit her neck softly, and her instinct to freeze overpowered everything else. Ian wasn’t being playful now. He was being sexy as hell. Feeling brave, Elyse slowly arched her head back, giving him more access to her throat, and as she did, his teeth disappeared and were replaced by his lips, gone all soft. A delicious shiver worked its way up her spine, and she let off a soft gasp as he lifted her off the swing.
“Careful,” he rumbled deep in his throat as she brushed his hip with her bad ankle.
She was straddled on his waist but didn’t have to do any of the work since her bear-man seemed to have infinite strength and carried her like she weighed less than a feather.
Her eyes rolled closed against the saturated morning sunlight as he sucked harder on her neck. The man knew how to use his lips.
Miki bounced along somewhere in the vicinity of Ian’s feet, yipping in his little puppy bark as Ian toted her smoothly up the porch stairs and into the house. Anticipation zinged through her as he took a sharp turn directly into her bedroom. Oh, her mate was on a mission now, and she nuzzled his neck and smiled against his skin, then inhaled deeply. He smelled so good. Soap with a hint of oil from the machinery he’d been working on.
“Are you sniffing me, woman?”
“Maybe.”
“Clever little human, using your nose like an animal. I like the way you smell, too.”
“You do?”
Ian lowered her to the bed and spread her knees, then leaned down and clamped his teeth gently on the zipper of her jeans, then blew a puff of warm air through the denim. It tingled and, dear goodness, it felt better than almost anything she’d ever felt before. “I like the way you smell here best,” he murmured.
She writhed and gripped his hair. This should be embarrassing, but Ian was kissing all of the discomfort out of her. And as he rucked her shirt up and laid those sexy lips to her stomach, fingers gripping her sides, she forgot exactly why she was supposed to be embarrassed. Ian was touching her as if he knew the exact map of her body, and his confidence eased any leftover nervous flutters.
Unrelenting, he pulled her shirt over her loose hair and unsnapped her bra, then slid it off her arms. His fingers were steady—slow and controlled. Heat pooled in her middle as he unsnapped the button of her jeans. The material tickled as he pulled it past her hips and knees, slower at her bandaged ankle, then off completely with a smile at the messy pile he was leaving on her floor.
The smile lingered as his gaze went first to her eyes, then lower and lower. His breath caught as he stared at her body. Running a soft touch over her knee, he shook his head as though he’d never seen anyone more beautiful. “I’ve imagined…” Ian swallowed hard. “It’s not the same.”
She wanted to cry at his admiration. Softly, she admitted, “I haven’t ever let anyone see me like this. In the light.”
A slight frown marred his face, making the color of his eyes intensify somehow. “Good. I want to be the only one who sees you like this.” He ran his finger over the top of her thigh and whispered in a distracted voice, “Perfect. Your skin isn’t even scarred.”
Regret had tainted his tone, so she lifted her knee and rested her injured leg up on the mattress. “I have scars now, too, Ian. We match.”
Pulling his oil-stained T-shirt over his head, Ian murmured, “I want to feel your skin against mine.”
“Wait,” she said as he settled a knee on the bed to lower himself. “I want to look at you, too.”
His chin dropped, and his gaze lowered to the mass of red on his ribcage. For as strong and confident as Ian was, being marked by the struggles of his existence obviously bothered him. Elyse sat up and ran her hands lightly over his chest and the muscular curves of his arms, then down to his ribs to the scars. Pressing forward, she pursed her lips softly against the uneven skin there. “This,” she whispered, “means you’re still alive and here with me. Whatever happened and however you got it doesn’t matter.” She kissed it once more and looked up at him, then unbuttoned the top clasp of his jeans. “Have you shown them to anyone else?”
He huffed a small breath. “How could I explain them away to a bedmate?”
“So then they’re only for me.”
His face softened from a steely expression to one of thoughtfulness.
She kissed his ribs again and said, “This is mine, and you are mine, just like I’m yours, Ian. Don’t regret them. I love them. I love everything about you.”
“Even the animal?”
The rip of his zipper was loud in the silence that hung between them. “Especially the animal.”
“Why?” he asked quietly as she carefully pushed his pants down his hips.
“Because without him, you would’ve been settled with someone else long before you found me.”
Ian’s oversize, calloused hand cupped her cheek gently, and his eyes filled with some emotion too big for her to understand. Elyse leaned forward and kissed just beside his belly button, then bit him gently on the strip of defined muscle that covered his hip bone. A shudder took his body as she pushed the elastic band of his briefs down, unsheathing his long, thick erection. It was every bit as intimidating as when it was shielded behind his jeans, and the nervous flutters were back in her belly with a vengeance.
She blew a soft breath over the swollen tip, and it throbbed once in a sexy reaction that drew a smile from her lips. Ian put his hands behind his head, gripping his hair as if he were trying to control his urge to hold her instead.
“You can touch me. Tell me what you like.” Because sure as shit she wasn’t going to be any good at this. Cole had been a man of many complaints.
Ian’s chest heaved with his breath as he slid one of his hands around the back of her head and clenched her hair in a gentle grasp. His nostrils flared above her as he pulled her toward him. She slid her mouth over him, and his hips jerked. “Sorry,” he murmured, loosening his grip.
She ran her fingertips up his powerful legs and took him deeper. Ian released a shuddering breath and pulled her to him faster. “Oh my God, Elyse.” His voice was raspy and rushed.
Sensitive man, so easily pleased, and she should’ve known she would be enough for him. Gripping Ian at the base, she turned pliable in his grasp, heeding the pace he wanted and reveling in his reaction to the touch of her tongue against his shaft. His hips moved with her, pumping slowly into her mouth every stroke she allowed. And when his growl rattled him, she slid her hand up his stomach just to feel the vibration. She was so wet against the mattress under her, and for what? She hadn’t been touched at all, but pleasing Ian was such a turn-on right now. She’d never found such pleasure in taking care of someone else, but now his abs were flexing every time she took him in her mouth, and he let off a low groan that said she was doing something right.
“Elyse, stop, stop, stop.”
Or not. She pulled off him and glanced up, confused. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No.” His eyes had gone a dark brown, and he was breathing heavy. “I don’t want to come like that. I want to do it with you.”
“Oh.” She tried to hide the proud smile on her lips, she really did, but Ian had her feeling like a goddess right now. Her insides were practically glowing as he lowered her back against the bed and nudged her knees wider apart.
He lowered his hips against hers, and the head of his cock pressed right against her opening, teasing. This was it, and as she locked her eyes with his, gone dark and hungry, a moment of fear seized her. This was different from anything she’d ever felt with a man, and what they were about to do would change her. It would change them.
But when Ian lowered his lips to hers and kissed her so gently it stole her breath, the fear evaporated. She rocked her hips against him, enticing him. Ian pulled away with a smack of his lips and gritted his teeth, closed his eyes. “It’s hard to stay gentle,” he whispered.
She loved him for the admission. Admired him for his obvious effort not to hurt her. But she’d been worked up for days and was ready for him. Lifting her head off the bed to meet him, she kissed him and scratched her nails slowly up his back. His hips jerked, and his tongue slipped past her lips. He slid into her, stretching her. The burn was overshadowed by how good he felt inside her. Ian pulled her wrists above her head and bit her bottom lip harder than he had before. A needy moan left her lips as she spread her legs wider, allowing him better access. His powerful hips bucked forward again, harder, driving himself deeper into her. He was shaking now, trying to keep control, but he didn’t need to anymore. She wanted all of him. Animal and man and teetering control, she wanted him to be himself with her.
“Harder,” she pleaded.
A snarl ripped from his chest as he bucked into her so deep he bumped her clit. His eyes were midnight now, his face feral as he pumped into her again and again. His kisses were less controlled. Harder lips and grazing teeth as he trailed them from her lips to her neck, down her shoulder to the inside of her arm where he bit her hard enough to draw a gasp from her lips and make her writhe against him. He was losing it, and she reveled in the fierce abandon in his eyes. When he drew one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked hard, Elyse cried out as the pressure inside of her became too much. Pounding pleasure pulsed through her as Ian slammed into her again, harder and harder. He slid his body further up against hers, gripping the back of her neck as he buried his face against her collarbone and snarled out her name. Erratically, he slid into her, and she could feel it now as he let off a wild sound from his throat. Warmth shot into her with every thrust until he was emptied, and still, her aftershocks pounded on, long after he eased to a stop.
He lay there, connected deeply to her as she gripped him in slow, hard pulses. And when she was finished, he moved slowly within her, intertwining their fingers, and the next time she came, he watched her face. This one was softer. It was drawn slower. It was controlled and given because Ian adored her. She could see it in his eyes.
She’d been right when she’d had that moment of fear right before they’d slept together.
Elyse pulled one of his hands to her lips and kissed his knuckles. “Everything feels different now. Bigger. More important.”
Ian rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes as he let off a long, relieved sigh. “For me, too.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Miki!” Elyse yelled. The pup bounded around the puddle of spilled goat’s milk, curled tail wagging. “Little monster.”
A loud whistle sounded from the yard and, immediately, the furry little cretin bunny bounced toward the door of the barn and out into the dim, early morning light.
“Yeah, you better run,” Elyse huffed as she righted the pail Miki had knocked over. For whatever reason, Ian had complete control over Miki’s behavior while the pup saved all of his naughtiness for her. At least he liked to snuggle her best, though, so she had that going for her. Ian was giving her lessons on being the boss of Miki but, so far, the little beasty
pranced around here causing chaos wherever he pleased. He completely had her heart—when he wasn’t spilling the goat juice.
Momma Goat stuck her tongue out and bleated a horrific scream, and Elyse hunched her shoulders against the grating noise. She was pretty sure Shayna Haskins had sold Momma Goat cheap because she was a screamer. Lucky Elyse. But, she kept them in the milk and cheese and wasn’t a kicker, so Elyse had learned to take the good with the bad.
Next year though, she was going to keep one of the momma cows here to be a milker. And hopefully by then, Miki will have gotten over his obnoxious fascination with the silver milk pail.
“Elyse, you ready?” Ian called.
Muttering a curse, she released the goat from the high pen and ushered her back into the big stall that housed the two nannies, the ram, and two half-grown kids. No milk today, but at least Momma Goat’s teats wouldn’t be swollen and sore. Elyse would be gone the rest of the day, cutting and storing hay with the help of Ian, Josiah, and the neighbors, Joanna and Ricky Fairway. Ian said it was just right to cut now for peek nutrition, and after the last two weeks of working the homestead with him, she trusted him completely. The man had a knack for guessing the weather, for animal husbandry, and a million other little talents that made her wonder just how she’d made it this far without his help.
Her heart sank as she sauntered out into the dawn and felt the chill creeping into her bones. It was mid-September now, only a month until Ian went down for the winter. And as much as she hated the cold and what it meant to her now, Ian seemed to feel the same urgency to get everything done around here. He’d even taken a couple days to help her store the vegetables in the root cellar, and he’d canned salmon one of the townies had traded him for some rabbits he’d snared. Next year, they couldn’t miss the salmon run. Ian said his bear did best if he had a lot of fish in his diet.
