Mom picked up her glass of lemonade and gulped several more large swallows, then set the glass down and looked at Dad. “I guess you might call them best friends by default.”
Dad picked up his own glass of ice water and held it against the side of his face for a moment. He looked like he was having a “hot flash” like Mom’s.
The waitress brought the food—three mixed-grill barbecue sandwiches on kaiser rolls made from scratch. They used to call them “homemade,” but for some reason Little Mary had changed the menus and the sign out front last week. The coleslaw was Tedi’s favorite. They made it with lots of carrots and raisins, green onions and purple cabbage, and the dressing was sweet.
Tedi was wondering if she should say a silent blessing on her food, the way Grandma Ivy had taught her, when she glanced at Dad. He sat hunched over his sandwich, head bowed, eyes closed.
Tedi turned to her mom in alarm. “Is Dad sick?” she whispered.
Mom shook her head slightly, her mouth set in a firm line as she picked up her lemonade glass one more time and gestured toward the waitress across the room for a refill.
Dad raised his head. “No, Tedi, I’m not sick. I’ve been…praying before I eat.”
Mom shot him a startled look. “Afraid you’ll choke?”
He leaned back in his seat, watching her cautiously. “No. My boss, Jack, has taken me to lunch a couple of times, and he prays before we eat, so I’ve started doing it the past few days.”
Tedi sat up farther in her seat, afraid to hope for too much. “Why do you do that, Dad?”
Dad looked at Mom for a moment, then turned his attention to Tedi. “Because I gave my life to Christ last week.”
Mercy snorted. “And He took it?”
He ignored her and kept his gaze on his daughter. “I know I don’t deserve it after all I’ve done, Tedi. I was trying so hard to change my life—to stop drinking and stop hurting people the way I have in the past—and I discovered I couldn’t do it on my own.” He looked down at his food as if it had suddenly sprouted bugs. “About two weeks ago, after a whole summer of being sober, I bought a pint of whiskey and drank it over the weekend.”
“Two weeks?” Mom paused, as if calculating the time in her head. “You were drunk at Jarvis’s party?”
“No, I bought the bottle afterward on my way home.”
“You’re drinking again!” Mom exclaimed.
He spread his hands. “I told you, Mercy, I can’t stop on my own. I’m an alcoholic, and I guess I always will be if I keep feeling the need to take that first drink. The morning after I finished the bottle I went and talked to Lukas.”
Mom stiffened and caught her breath. “Why him? Why didn’t you just call your counselor?”
“Because Lukas was the one who made the difference. He’s the one who explained to me for the first time why Christ’s Spirit has to control mine, why I’m helpless against the alcoholism without His strength.”
Tedi felt a great rush of hope. “Does that mean you’re saved now, Dad? You’re a Christian?”
Dad’s eyes reflected her joy. He nodded. “That’s right. I’ve got my own New Testament, and my boss prays with me every morning. He says I’ll still have to fight against that old Zimmerman temper, and I’ll still be tempted to drink. But I can tell the difference in my life. Now all I have to do is pray about it, and think about you, and how much I want to be with you again.”
“Supervised,” Mom said quickly. “Don’t forget that, Theo.”
He looked at her and held her gaze and nodded. “You’re right. So I’ve joined a new A.A. group that meets on Wednesday nights at Covenant Baptist.”
Mom picked up her glass again. “Lukas and Mom go to that church.” Her voice was still as sharp, her face even more worried-looking than it had been. Her movements were jerky, and she squeezed the lemonade glass—so hard her fingers turned white.
Dad sighed, and his shoulders slumped just a little. “It isn’t what you think this time, Mercy. Honest. I haven’t been trying to turn your mother against you. In fact, I haven’t even talked to her at church. I doubt if she wants to have anything to do with me. But did you know her pastor is a recovered alcoholic?”
“Recovering,” Mom reminded him. “They’re never totally recovered.”
Tedi looked up at Mom impatiently. She could let up on Dad just a little bit now. He said he was a Christian. He was really trying to change…Of course, Mom didn’t believe in Christ. So maybe she just didn’t understand the change that was taking place in Dad’s heart. Maybe Grandma and Lukas could explain it to her again.
“I’ll never forget that, Mercy,” Dad said. “I’ve attended one of their worship services, but I sat in the back, and Ivy didn’t see me. The church has two morning services, and if you don’t want me going to your mom’s service, I’ll go to the other one.”
“Why should it make me uncomfortable?” Mom took another big swallow of her drink. “I don’t even attend.”
“You could, Mom,” Tedi said. “You could take me, and that could be a way I could see Dad while I was being supervised.”
“You already go with your grandmother.”
“So don’t you want to make sure for yourself that Dad’s not going to kidnap me or something?”
“Kidnap?” Mom shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Honey, I don’t think—”
Dad’s sudden laughter interrupted her. “Watch it, Tedi. You’re trying to manipulate your mom. You sound like me.”
Mom picked up her sandwich, then put it down again, folded her hands at the edge of the table and looked straight at Dad. “Why don’t we start slowly.” Her voice was soft and calm, not angry. “We could do like we did today, meet for lunch, only do it on Saturday when we don’t have work or school. We could plan to meet a week from this Saturday and see how things progress from there.”
“All right!” Tedi picked up her sandwich and took a big bite. It tasted great. Maybe they could come to Little Mary’s again. Or maybe they could go to the Cantina across the street from the hospital. Lukas had taken them there a couple of times, and even though Mom complained about the fat content of the Mexican food, she always agreed that it sure tasted good.
Tedi could tell by the look on Dad’s face that Mom’s idea made him happy. He took a big, hungry bite of his drippy sandwich. Tedi took another bite of hers. Mom kept drinking her lemonade, and she finally asked the waitress for a bag for her food, explaining that she wasn’t hungry.
“Mom,” Tedi said while the waitress was still at the table, “can I have a piece of chocolate pecan pie?”
“Me, too,” Dad said. “I feel like celebrating. My boss told me to take all the time I wanted for lunch.” He leaned back and stretched, looking happier than Tedi had ever seen him.
Tedi took a long swallow of her root beer. “So, Dad, what’s it like in the slammer?”
Chapter Seventeen
At one o’clock Thursday afternoon, the first day of October, Mercy pulled into the farthest slot of the Knolls Community Hospital employee lot and parked beside the old red Jeep Lukas had driven to work this morning. He wasn’t even supposed to be working today. In fact, he’d invited her to have lunch with him at Antonio’s. That was before Dr. Cobb called in with strep throat yesterday. Lukas had declined Mercy’s offer to split the shift with him.
She sighed and got out of the car, then bent to retrieve her picnic basket from the passenger side of the front seat. If Lukas couldn’t go to Antonio’s, then Antonio’s would come here, complete with salad, low-carb seafood pasta and hot Italian bread. No horseradish. On their first date last spring, Lukas had accidentally grabbed a bottle of horseradish and sprinkled it liberally over his bowl of plain noodles, mistaking it for Alfredo sauce. The resultant fire flying through his sinus cavities had sent him rushing blindly into a lavatory—the ladies’ room, complete with outraged lady. To complicate things further, Lukas had forgotten his billfold, and Mercy found him afterward hanging upside down from the rear seat
of his car searching beneath and between the front seats for enough loose change to pay their bill. Who wouldn’t be charmed?
Mercy breezed into an empty waiting room and through the double doors of the emergency department. A new, very young secretary, Tonya, sat at the large U-shaped central desk, the top of her curly auburn hair just visible above the waist-high counter that surrounded the multistationed work center. She was bent over a computer keyboard, and she spoke softly into a telephone headset, then giggled and snapped her gum.
Mercy resisted the urge to say something to her. Several people had complained that the girl made too many personal calls, and therefore made too many mistakes. The one time Mercy had worked with Tonya, she’d had to check and recheck to make sure the orders for patient tests were right. A lackadaisical attitude had no place in an emergency department, where lives were at stake.
More laughter reached Mercy from behind and to the right, and she turned to find Lukas and Lauren in the laceration room, restocking supplies from a cart, their heads close together for a moment as Lauren murmured something to him. They laughed again.
A prickling of jealousy swept over Mercy before she could control her thoughts. She squeezed on the handle of the picnic basket. It seemed to her as if Lauren was always working when Lukas worked, even when it was due to a last-minute schedule change. Coincidence? Mercy didn’t think so. Who could miss the way Lauren tagged around after Lukas like a puppy dog, or the way her gaze followed him all around a room?
Mercy took a deep breath and loosened her death grip on the picnic handle. And what did it matter if Lauren was romantically interested in Lukas? It wasn’t as if she was out to nab some woman’s husband.
Lauren’s teasing laughter rang out again, and she reached up to straighten Lukas’s glasses for him while his arms were full of sterile 4x4s and cotton balls. Did she have to be quite so obvious? Didn’t Lukas see what she was doing?
Mercy’s hand went slack, and she dropped the picnic basket with a loud clatter. Tonya, at the desk, choked on her gum. Lukas dropped his burden and turned around, then lit up with a smile. Without a backward glance he left the exam room. Lauren’s laughter died.
“Hey, what’s this?” He stopped when he reached the central station and sniffed the air, then he reached down and picked up the basket. “Do I smell garlic?”
Still stinging from the remnants of jealousy—an emotion she loathed—Mercy forced a smile. “Thought I’d save you from cafeteria cholesterol surprise.” She glanced over to find that Lauren had turned back to the chore of restocking.
“I’m free,” Lukas said, leaning close and smiling even more brilliantly into her eyes. “And I’m hungry. Lauren was just telling me to eat because my stomach was growling loudly enough for them to hear it in Radiology. We’ve been busy all morning, so I’m glad you didn’t come earlier.” He gestured toward the back part of the E.R., where the staff break room was located. “Want to eat at a table? For some reason, that COBRA investigator is still hanging around. If she finds us with food in here, she’ll call one of her buddies at OSHA and have a fine slapped on us so fast we won’t have time to eat.” He led the way toward the back of the department.
Mercy followed him, keeping up with his swift stride without difficulty, and feeling, as always, the lifting of her spirits at his very nearness. They matched each other well. Those times they had gone hiking together in the shady depths of the Mark Twain National Forest, Lukas kept the pace strong while she pointed out sparkling rocks and discovered hidden waterfalls and found natural gardens of concealed wildflowers, which were abundant in the area surrounding Knolls. They hadn’t been hiking in a few weeks—there hadn’t been time—but she would make a point of suggesting it soon. He loved a good hike, and she loved spending time with him.
While Lukas prayed over the food, Mercy inhaled the warm scent of the garlic and felt her mouth water. As they ate, he gave her a blow-by-blow account of a patient who had come in this morning with a viral gastrointestinal upset. She was glad there weren’t any nonmedical personnel within earshot. A doc’s dinner conversation could sometimes be an effective appetite suppressant…. Maybe they could try that with Clarence. Lukas loved to talk about his cases, although he was always careful to respect patient confidentiality.
Against her will, Mercy’s mind flashed to lunch yesterday and to Theo. She’d done the same thing to him when they were married. She would arrive home every night, usually late, and talk about work, sometimes ruining his appetite. Her work had consumed her. It still did.
“…and so I prescribed a bottle of aspirin and a jug of cyanide, and she went home happy.”
Mercy frowned and looked up at Lukas. “What?”
He put another forkful of pasta in his mouth, not quite able to conceal a grin.
“Sorry, Lukas, I wasn’t listening.”
He finished his bite of food and took a drink of the iced tea she had brought him. “You do seem a little preoccupied. Does it have anything to do with your lunch date yesterday?”
She shrugged. Why did he have to be so insightful? How had he gotten so good at reading her mind? That was one particular subject she wished she could forget right now. She just wanted to enjoy Lukas’s company.
Lukas grew serious. He put his fork down and leaned forward. “Really, Mercy, how’d it go?”
“Well, I didn’t throw anything at him, and I didn’t poison his food.”
“Wow. You’ve come a long way. Did Theodore behave himself? Did he treat you well? Did you come to some kind of understanding about Tedi’s visitation?”
Mercy picked up her drink, suddenly not wanting to meet Lukas’s gaze. She didn’t want him to pick up on the little chord of resentment that shot through her.
“Mercy? How did it go?”
“He behaved himself. He didn’t yell at me, and yes, we made plans to meet again.” She looked at him at last. “You could have warned me about his so-called ‘conversion.’ Tedi was so excited about his little announcement that she didn’t even eat all her coleslaw. And now she’s trying to get me to take her to church on Sundays.” Mercy shook her head. She hadn’t intended to spout, but she couldn’t help herself. “Especially since Theo told us he’s attending worship services at Covenant. I refuse to drag her down there so we can all sit together like some happy family.”
Lukas remained silent, and for once Mercy couldn’t read what he was thinking. She picked up her fork and put it down again. “It’s still the same, Lukas. Theo has manipulated it so that once more I’m on the outside looking in. And now he’s dragged God into it, as well as you, and Tedi, and before long he’ll have Mom singing his praises.”
Lukas bit into a bread stick and chewed it thoughtfully for a moment. “Do you really think he’s manipulating you this time?”
“See what I mean?” Mercy took a long swallow of her drink and set it down. “You’re defending him.” She felt betrayed. She picked up her fork to attack the food in front of her. It tasted as much like sawdust as the Little Mary’s lunch she’d ended up taking back to work with her in a doggie bag yesterday.
“Did he tell you about the struggle he’s going through?” Lukas asked.
She chewed, swallowed, washed it down. “Yes, he told us all about the booze. It’s what I expected. Have you forgotten that my father was an alcoholic? I know how it works.”
“But has Theodore ever been honest with you about it before?”
Mercy put a couple of strands of pasta in her mouth and stared out the small window that overlooked a small lawn dotted with cultivated rosebushes. This lunch date had lost its appeal in a hurry. Why shouldn’t she still resent Theo? What made everybody suddenly think he could change the habits of a lifetime in just a few months? Or just because he blurted a few words to God in a desperate moment of need?
Lukas leaned toward her and placed a hand gently on her arm. “Mercy, he doesn’t have a chance of turning me against you. If he’s trying, he’ll lose. If he’s sincere, everybody wins, inclu
ding you. Will you give him one more chance?”
She swallowed again and allowed herself to be soothed by the compassion she read in Lukas’s eyes. “Do you know how many chances I’ve given him?”
“I can’t even imagine, but judging by your generous spirit when you’re putting up with me, I would expect a lot. Just one more?”
His hand stayed on her arm. On a whim, she reached out and took the hand and squeezed, then released it. “We’ve set up a visitation schedule for him to spend time with Tedi. Sorry, that’s all I can bring myself to do for now.”
His eyes held hers for a moment, then he turned his head to gaze pensively out the window. “I know it’s hard for you. It isn’t easy for me, either. I’m dealing with a lot of resentment on your behalf, and on Tedi’s. I think all we can do is wait and see what happens.” He sat staring out for a moment longer, then turned back to her, as if shrugging off his thoughts. “Feel like risking your life tomorrow night?”
“What?”
“I owe you a meal, and if you’re game I’ll do the cooking.”
Mercy struggled with the sudden subject change. “You know how to cook?”
“If all else fails, I can heat up a frozen pizza, and I can buy a bag of salad and some dressing. Feel brave?”
Mercy couldn’t help returning his smile—a smile that started the blood pounding through her veins. It was a smile filled with affection…maybe more. She thought again about the kisses they had shared the night of Jarvis’s party and the sudden life and joy that had sung through her heart when Lukas held her in his arms, pressing away the pain and humiliation that had attacked her only moments before.
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