by Sarah Price
Life Regained
Sarah Price
and
Whoopie Pie Pam
Copyright©2014 Price Publishing, LLC.
All rights reserved.
DEDICATION
Some people can navigate the waters of life with ease while others find themselves treading water. It isn’t easy. Whether it is illness, divorce, or death, life can toss a lot of surprises at us. This book is dedicated to all of the women who have found themselves in a position of distress and struggled to reinvent themselves in order to survive.
S.P. & W.P.P.
Table of Contents
ABOUT THE VOCABULARY 6
PRELUDE 7
CHAPTER 1 18
CHAPTER 2 28
CHAPTER 3 42
CHAPTER 4 66
CHAPTER 5 84
CHAPTER 6 98
CHAPTER 7 112
CHAPTER 8 133
CHAPTER 9 148
CHAPTER 10 165
CHAPTER 11 180
CHAPTER 12 194
CHAPTER 13 209
CHAPTER 14 222
CHAPTER 15 230
EPILOGUE 241
RECIPES 249
BOOK PREVIEW 262
VOCABULARY 275
OTHER BOOKS BY SARAH PRICE 276
ONE MORE THING… 277
About Sarah Price 278
About Whoopie Pie Pam 280
ABOUT THE VOCABULARY
The Amish speak Pennsylvania Dutch (also called Amish German or Amish Dutch). This is a verbal language with variations in spelling among communities throughout the USA. In some regions, a grandfather is“grossdaadi”while in other regions he is known as“grossdawdi”.
In addition, there are words such a“mayhaps”or the use of the word“then”at the end of sentences and, my favorite,“for sure and certain”which are not necessarily from the Pennsylvania Dutch language/dialect but are unique to the Amish.
The use of these words comes from my own experience living among the Amish in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
PRELUDE
A blanket of fresh white snow covered the ground and the lake. It glistened brightly in the early morning sun. Slowly, the calm of the night gave way to the beginning of the day’s activities. Two frisky squirrels played in a tree across from the cabin, chasing each other up and down, chattering relentlessly while weaving in and out through the branches.
Wrapped in her favorite quilt, Elizabeth sat on the porch swing, drinking her first coffee. The steam caressed her cheeks, warming them against the cold air. It felt good and she savored the moment, enjoying the contrasting sensation of warmth and cold. On the nearby tree, the two squirrels were now loudly scurrying among the branches, their bushy tails flashing and flickering as they chased each other. Elizabeth watched them, amused by their antics, so innocent in nature considering the world of danger that surrounded them. Oblivious.
With a sigh that caused her breath to frost the air, she looked away, her eyes drifting toward the rolling fields that surrounded the lake. The pine trees around the water’s edge were covered in white, just enough to look as if someone had spray painted their tips.
The scenery was breathtaking.
January. The time of year that she most loved visiting Ohio. Without the summer tourists, it was like her own private haven. The roads were still and quiet, empty of the traffic from Englische visitors hoping to capture a moment of the same peace Elizabeth now felt. Yes, she thought, shutting her eyes and smiling. Peace indeed! She loved having that leisurely feeling of waking up with nothing to do. She spent her days walking along the winding, snowy roads and reflecting on life. Her life…a life that hadn’t always been as easy as it was now. She had a lot for which to be grateful. So, during her walks and quiet time, she did a lot of reflecting followed by prayers of thanksgiving to God for having brought her this far in her life. Indeed, she believed that it was God who led her from West Virginia to Atwood State Park. A place to relax, reflect, and regroup. Even the drive with its winding roads and beautiful mountains views had calmed her as they approached the cabin.
William, however, was never as thrilled with the trip. Always the busy type, her husband would rather stay at home, either working in the coal mines or taking care of things that needed to be fixed around the house. Whenever she suggested time spent in Ohio, he’d counter with how much they needed the money. Vacation was a luxury word that he practically never used. However, he could never say that to Elizabeth. Instead, he would remain silent and merely shake his head when she mentioned it during the year. In January, however, the company encouraged the miners to take a one-week vacation. Despite longing for a trip to the warmer weather, something they simply could not afford, William always agreed to the next best thing and, come to think of it, their only option: the cabin on the lake in Ohio. Without a complaint, William travelled with her, his love for his wife even greater than their need for his overtime at work.
Their annual trip was a tradition started by her father when Elizabeth was just a young girl. Camping in the woods of Ohio became the only quality time she had with her father because of his work and travels. Working for the coal mine as an engineer required a lot of traveling. Wherever they needed him to be, he would willingly go. Her mother remained at home, taking care of the children and the house when he was on business trips. But he always found time to take the family camping in the summer, the station wagon jammed with tents and camping equipment and coolers brimming with food as they headed northwest toward Atwood State Park in Ohio.
For Elizabeth, it was an opportunity to be together, have fun and enjoy some camping in the great outdoors. Oh how she loved to camp! Many a wonderful memory was made at the park. When her father turned forty, he began renting the cabin. Elizabeth never knew whether it was because her mother wanted a little more comfort or if her father was tired of spending his two short weeks of vacation each year in a tent. It didn’t matter. The memories of roasting marshmallows over an outdoor fire and canoeing across the lake were just as plentiful from those later years when the tents were retired and the cabin adopted as a more comfortable alternative.
When Elizabeth married William, he had willingly carried on this tradition, bringing their two children to the cabin each and every year. Unfortunately, his position in the mines was different than her father’s. Economic changes had also created a different environment for the workers. So, instead of summer vacations in the woods, William rented the small cabin during their winter breaks. It was less expensive then, he would explain when Elizabeth sighed at the announcement.
In the long run, Elizabeth knew better than to complain. After all, her children didn’t know the difference. Besides, both Sophia and Ryan loved the outdoors. Their smiles and laughter from these precious times always filled their little rental cabin with all the warmth and glow of a beautiful summer day.
Elizabeth smiled as she heard William moving around inside the cabin. She listened to his feet, shuffling along the wide plank floors as he made his way to the kitchen. She remained seated on the back porch, rocking softly in the swing as she snuggled deeper into her quilt. She knew he would come to find her. Just then, the sliding glass door slid open and William stepped out, his thinning gray hair neatly combed and two coffee mugs in his hands.
“Good morning,”Elizabeth said, looking up at William. In her mind, she still saw the high school version of William with dark tousled hair and big brown eyes, the type of eyes she got lost in whenever he gazed at her. Unlike his brothers, he had remained in good physical shape, most likely since he swore off weekend beers at the
local bar. For a man in his fifties, William Fielding was still able to making her catch her breath.
“Morning.”His voice was raspy and she knew that he had most likely just awoken.
It was good for him to sleep late. This was his vacation, after all. He worked so hard during the year. If only they could have afforded a nicer vacation, she thought as she watched him, languishing against the doorframe. Her heart broke as she felt guilt for their current financial status. My fault, she told herself but immediately shook the negative thought off her mind.
Taking two steps across the porch, William seemed oblivious to the internal game of guilt that Elizabeth played. He leaned down to hand her one of the heavy coffee mugs, never noticing that she already had one set upon the little table beside her. Little did she think of mentioning it. It was all in the gesture and this was one that she truly appreciated.
“How long have you been up?”
“Since dawn,”she replied, moving over slightly to make room for her husband to sit beside her on the swing.“Wanted to see that sunrise.”She added, chin pointing at the faint reddish globe rising above the horizon.
“You should have woken me up, Lizzy.”William said, as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.“We could’ve gone for a walk.”
“Oh really, now?”Elizabeth teased.
In all the years of marriage, William was not one to volunteer to take walks or wake up early, not during their vacation. The fact that he questioned both now made her smile. Age, she thought. It brings out the best in some people, definitely in her William. But perhaps these were regrets of not having done it earlier…
“Since when do you like to take walks in the snow?”she teased.
Winking at her, William replied,“Since I married you like 100 years ago.”
“Ha ha.”Elizabeth said, playfully elbowing William as he sat next to her on the swing. Gliding his arm across her shoulder, he pulled her close and kissed her good morning, his lips lingering on her temple.
“It’s nice up here, isn’t it?”he said.“Quiet, peaceful…”
“Cold.”
He laughed.“That, too.”
“We should come up some time in the summer, when it’s warm out and the crops are growing. Wouldn’t that be nice, William?”
She wasn’t looking at him but she sensed that he smiled.“Yes, Lizzy,”he said.“That would be nice. But the mine doesn’t like vacations during the summer.”
“Maybe it’s time to think about retiring?”
At first, he didn’t respond. He pushed the swing with his feet, just enough that it swayed gently. She rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the moment. She shut her eyes and relaxed, wishing that time could stop so that it would just be her and her William, alone and together forever. Their“together”time hadn’t lasted very long. High school sweethearts that married a year after she graduated, it hadn't been a surprise when Ryan came along ten months later. With a newborn baby, life suddenly shifted gears.
She couldn’t complain. Over the years, they never wanted for anything. William worked overtime to make certain the children had new shoes and clothing at the beginning of winter and summer. He refused to force them to wear second-hand clothing or hand-me-downs from cousins. By the time Ryan and Sophia graduated high-school, the house was finally paid off and it was time to start saving money for other things: dinners out, a nice vacation, retirement. Unfortunately, as often happens, life got in the way.
“You know that’s a few years off, Lizzy,”he finally said.
She realized her mistake and reached under the blanket to hold his hand.“I’m sorry.”
He laughed at her.“For what?”
“You know for what.”
He squeezed her hand.“Now Lizzy, don’t you worry a thing. Everything will be fine. It always is. Just make me one promise, okay?”
“Anything.”
William re-adjusted his seated position on the swing so that he could look in her eyes.“Lizzy my love, if anything ever happens to me, celebrate my life…our life that we built together, and then move on with yours.”
She gasped at his words.“William!”
“Now, now,”he said, placing a finger over her lips before she could speak.“Just promise me.”
“What’s this about?”She felt a wave of panic. In all the years that they had been together, more years together than apart by far, he had never spoken with such melancholy or been so somber about the future. She knew that he wasn’t ill. He had just passed his annual physical with flying colors. And, even though he worked in the mines, he had been promoted to a supervisory position five years ago. Now, he was responsible for the underground mine foremen. It meant less time underground which, to Elizabeth, helped ease her worry about his safety.
“Lizzy…”His tone told her that he wasn’t going to let this go. He was waiting for her response.
Elizabeth looked at William with sadness in her eyes.“If it means that much to you, I promise,”she replied.“But nothing is going to happen to you.”
Satisfied, he gave her hand one last squeeze.“I just want to know that you wouldn’t do anything silly.”He took a deep breath, a sense of calm and peace in his expression as he exhaled, his breath forming vapor in the chilly air.“Now that we’ve resolved that, let’s focus on more important things.”
Leave it to William, she thought. He was always able to flip a switch, navigate from serious conversation to the mundane without any lingering emotions. It was one of the things she loved the most about him.“What could possibly be more important?”she asked, a teasing tone in her voice.
Lifting her hand, he pressed his lips against her skin before he stood up, pulling her to her feet and wrapping his arms around her.“How about what are we going to do today, Lizzy? A walk? Lunch in Berlin? Or a day spent soaking in the warmth of the fire that I’m about to light inside the house?”
“All of the above!”
He laughed and kissed the top of her head.“For you,”he said.“Anything.”
CHAPTER 1
“Mom?”
Elizabeth sat on the sofa, barely looking up at the sound of the kitchen door opening. From the voice, she knew right away that it was her son. His deep baritone voice boomed as he called out for her. Shutting her eyes she said a silent prayer, asking for the strength to get through his unexpected visit.
“There you are!”He walked into the room, his broad shoulders seemed to fill the doorframe.“Didn’t you hear me call you?”
She sighed, running her fingers through her dark chestnut hair and reaching for her glasses which rested atop her head.“I was sleeping, Ryan,”she said, too aware that her tone was a tad sharp and unwelcoming. Forgive me, she quickly prayed. That wasn’t her style. Forcing a smile, she tried to soften her voice.“Just a cat nap,”she added.
Frowning, he laid his beige raincoat on the back of a chair as he approached her and took the seat next to the sofa. For a moment, she looked at him and wondered when her son had become such a handsome man. With his curly brown hair and big doe eyes, he looked more and more like William every day. At that thought, she looked away.
“Been sleeping a lot,”Ryan stated.
She remained silent. What was there to say? To admit it would open the door to another long discussion about her current emotional state. To deny it was to outright a lie and that was something she had never done. So silence remained her friend as she stared at her son.
“You can’t keep staying in here, Mom,”Ryan said gently as he leaned forward.“Sophia is worried sick. Says you barely leave the house.”
Elizabeth laughed, a hollow sound that contained no mirth or joy.“I’m sure Sophia has been worried, all right. I can tell from the number of times my phone rings.”Again, that cutting tone. She sighed, lifting her hand to her forehead.“Truth is that I just haven’t been feeling too well.”
“Then let’s get you to a doctor,”he replied.
Always the problem solver, she thought with a raised eyebrow.
> She hadn’t lied. She didn’t feel well. But there was nothing that a doctor could do for her. Not unless they could work miracles and bring back her William. But how could she explain that to her son? He was just starting life with his small family whereas hers as a wife was unwillingly ending. Her son didn’t need her. He had his own wife and two children. And Sophia was newly married. She’d have babies in no time at all. It was all her daughter talked about…raising a family. Where did that leave Elizabeth? Freshly widowed and living alone in a house that was too big for one person. She shut her eyes. That wasn’t the truth. Not too big. It was just too lonely for one person.
“I don’t need a doctor,”she managed to say.
Ryan leaned back in the chair and pursed his lips. He stared at her for a moment and Elizabeth didn’t need to read minds to know that he was becoming increasingly frustrated.
For almost eight months, it had been the same old song, over and over again: the unplanned visits, the concerned looks, the worried comments. But after thirty-five years of marriage, healing was not something that came easy to Elizabeth. She just wished that her two children understood that. She couldn’t understand what the rush was to…move on.
“You need to get out of the house, Mom.”
“For the purpose of…?”
Ryan rolled his eyes, a bad habit that he had developed during his teenage years and could no longer control. William had always reprimanded him, telling him how disrespectful it was to do that to older people, especially his mother. Now, however, Elizabeth didn’t have the emotional stamina to point it out to her son.“Life, Mom,”he said.“Life. Dad may have died, but you are still alive. You need to get out of the house and live life.”
Live life. The two words sounded so meaningful when Ryan said it. But as she repeated them in her head, she realized that for her they were void of any importance. What did it mean to live life anyway, she wondered. Hadn’t she been doing that for the past thirty-plus years? Life wasn’t always about oneself, she told herself, but self-sacrifice.
