by M. J. Perry
“My phone is in my bag on the bar.”
I heard a car pull into the carpark and turned my head to watch it. It was Matt’s car. Thank god. Excitement pounded through my veins.
“You need to go, Mike. That car has a detective in and he’s a friend of mine.”
I wasn’t protecting him. I was trying to get away from him, but he didn’t realise because his eyes lit up in the gentle way I remembered and he kissed me on the forehead before moving away.
“You’re right; I don’t want to be seen. I’ll come back for you Scarlett don’t you worry.” He jogged off in the other direction to Matt. I was still staring after him when Matt came to stand in front of me. He’d be back he said. I really hoped he wouldn’t be.
“What the hell are you doing outside on your own Scarlett?” Matt shouted at me. It made me jump.
I looked up at his face. “Mike was here.”
Matt’s eyes canvassed the carpark. “Which way did he go?”
I pointed, but I knew Mike would be long gone by now.
“What did he want?”
“Ruby,” I said through stiff lips.
“I should have guessed this would happen.” Matt sighed.
“You thought he might turn up here?”
“I looked into him after James told me about the message and I found out he owes money to Sketch, I should have realised he’d come to you for help. I’m sorry.”
“Oh. He told me he wants me back then he told me it’s my fault he’s got himself into this mess. That’s two people now who blame me.”
“It’s not your fault at all. Ruby and Mike are both fucking idiots. Trust me I know, I see enough of them every day in my job.”
I giggled.
“Are you ok?”
“I’m sick of being accosted outside this bar.”
He laughed and grabbed my hand.
“Let’s go back inside and get you a drink. I’d like to know why James and Tag haven’t noticed you’re missing.”
“They didn’t see. Mike pulled me out the bar. It was too busy for them to see.”
“That’s not a good enough excuse. James should have his eyes on you at all times.”
“I’m ok though Matt,” I reassure him with a squeeze to his hand.
“No, you’re not, you might be physically but you’re not emotionally. I can see the shadows in your eyes.”
I looked away. What could I say? I had more problems to contend with and I didn’t know how to deal with the ones I already had.
Matt held the door open, and I led him back to where I was sat before, I still had a hold of his hand so I let it go in case James saw and got upset with me. I didn’t want to deal with any more anger. I caught James’ eyes as I sat down and I smiled, but he didn’t return it in fact he looked away from me instead. That was odd. The bar had cleared a bit now and people had moved away from it to find seats.
“I couldn’t see either of them before,” I explained to Matt.
Tag came over to clear the empties from the bar where I sat. He frowned at me then at Matt.
“Where did you disappear to? The boss is really mad.”
He noticed I was missing, but didn’t think to look for me? That hurt.
“Really?” I whispered and then I burst into tears. He didn’t ask if I was ok he just got mad at me straight away. What was that about?
“Tonight really sucks,” I whispered into Matt’s neck since he’d pulled me into his arms. “I’m sorry. I always seem to cry on you.”
He shushed me. “After seeing your fucking ex and dealing with his shit and then hearing that you’re entitled to cry babe. Hell, I’d feel like crying too.”
I laughed and pulled away to wipe my face on his t-shirt. This was becoming a habit. At least I wore waterproof mascara. He grinned at me knowing what I’d done. I really liked Matt. His body tensed and I looked up behind me to see James scowling at us. He looked so angry I nearly took a step back.
“What the fuck is going on?” he growled at me. He’d never spoken to me like that before and I didn’t like it. I couldn’t find an answer, but it didn’t matter because he wasn’t looking for one. “I’m trying to keep you safe and you disappear on me to meet him outside?”
Did he mean Matt or Mike? I’m not sure and before I can ask he carried on.
“I’m not enough for you, huh? I should have known you’d do something like this. After all, your sister is a slut. It obviously runs in the family.”
My body jerked like he’d punched me. I felt sick, the fact he’d say that to me after everything gutted me. I thought he knew me but if he did, he would never accuse me of doing what he just did. How can he have feelings for me and think I would cheat on him? Where is the trust? How can he call me a slut? I couldn’t look at him, I didn’t want to see the disgust on his face and I knew it would be there, his voice was dripping with it. So instead of defending myself like I should I closed down and let the pain wash over me.
“Will you take me home please Matt?” I asked quietly with my eyes on the floor.
“Yes, sweetheart of course,” His gentle voice was at odds with his tense body. He wanted to say something to James, I could feel his anger. Matt was a protector, he wanted to defend me, but I didn’t want him to. I didn’t want James to know what had happened outside; he had no right to know now, none what so ever. I picked up my coat and bag from the bar aware everyone was watching our exchange. It was humiliating. I walked towards the door and Matt followed closely behind me, just as I touched the handle James spoke.
“You’ve just proved my point. You came with one guy, but you’re leaving with another.”
I closed my eyes and felt tears slip through my lids. I had to get out of here before I broke down completely.
“You’re a fucking prick, James,” Matt growled, and I jumped. There was so much anger in the words my eyes shot to his face. His eyes were on James. “If you’d have been looking after her like you should have been you would have seen her fuck wad ex drag her right out of your own bar. We’re going to talk about this later, but for now I’m taking Scarlett back to my house. I’ll keep her safe just like you should have done. If I stay here any longer, I'll end up punching you in the face.”
Matt slammed the door once we were through it and we walked to his car. I was speechless. More proof that Matt was an amazing guy. His best friend treats me like shit and he steps up to my defence. I’m so lucky he came into my life.
“He called me a slut.”
Matt sighed “He didn’t mean it, babe. He was angry.”
“It doesn’t matter if he was angry, he shouldn’t have said that. He doesn’t know me at all if he thinks I would cheat on him.”
“Scarlett. Listen, James is angry. He assumed shit because I don’t think he’s ever felt like this before and he’s scared, fighting with you gives him a reason to back off and not be scared anymore. Now he can be pissed and think he was right all along.”
“In a weird way that kind of makes sense. Self-preservation I guess.”
“Exactly. Tomorrow he’ll be at my house with his tail between his legs knowing he’s fucked up.”
“I’m not sure I want to speak to him again, though. I feel like he just ripped my heart out.”
“He’ll come and you’ll listen. You have something special; don’t you think it’s worth fighting for?”
“I don’t know, I guess so.” I’m not sure I want to open myself up to that again. My heart felt like it would beat out of my chest every time I thought of what James had said. He’d promised he would take care of me, but as soon as he saw something he didn’t like he broke that promise.
When we got to Matt’s he showed me to his bedroom and gave me one of his t-shirts to wear to bed.
He brushed his lips against my cheek. “Try to get some sleep sweetheart.”
“Matt” I called as he went to leave.
“Yeah?”
“Mike said he’d be back. I don’t ever want to see him again.”
“I know babe and you won’t. Do you trust me?”
I nodded “Always.”
“Good, don’t worry about Mike at all. Sweet dreams darling.”
“Night,” I replied before he closed the door behind him.
I used the en-suite to brush my teeth with a new toothbrush I found in the cupboard and used the toilet before I got undressed and slipped Matts t-shirt over my head. It was huge and soft and it covered my knickers. I climbed into his bed aware of his smell all over it and felt comforted by it. My body shook, and I gave into the tears that had been threatening to fall since James said his hurtful words.
Chapter Thirteen
Scarlett
Something woke me up, and I lay still listening for what it was only to hear loud voices, and what sounded like an argument. I jumped out of bed to find out where they were coming from not even caring that my hair was a mess and I hadn’t brushed my teeth. James stood in the kitchen with his hands on his hips and his back to the door. He didn’t know I was behind him. I saw Matt clock me, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t acknowledge me at all which I found odd.
“I heard the police picked up Scarlett’s ex a couple of streets away from my bar,” James growled.
“That’s right.” Matt snapped.
“I was too angry to listen to you last night. I thought you’d been outside together. She disappeared and then you both walked in hand in fucking hand. What the hell was I supposed to think?”
“Maybe ask what happened before you went off the deep end and assumed the worst. The fact that you accused Scarlett of being a slut is absurd. You didn’t let me get a word in before you attacked her and she’d already been through enough without me having to explain what happened outside and subjecting her to more of your anger.” Matt snapped again.
“Fuck.” James groaned.
“I don’t know why I did that. I’m a stupid son of a bitch.”
“Yep,” Matt agreed.
“How is she?”
“Hurt, angry. You name it, she feels it.” Matt replied.
I bit my lip because he was right. I had too many emotions running through me to pick. At least they’d picked up Mike last night, one less thing to worry about.
“I need to talk to her and fix this, I was jealous over how close you two became in such a short time that I jumped to conclusions based on my jealousy. I guess I felt threatened by it and when she got upset because you seemed to be avoiding her it made it worse.” James admitted.
“I care about Scarlett. She’s special, but she’s just a friend. She’s in your bed every night. Do you now see how messed up your assumptions were? She would never cheat. She’s been there remember. I know the pain she felt from her ex doing it to her because she told me just like she would have told you. When she finally let you in and opened herself up to you, you hurt her.”
“Shit. I know I’ve seriously blown it. I feel possessive about her. When I came back from changing a barrel and Tag said she’d gone, I panicked. I was about to leave to look for her when you walked in together and I freaked out. I didn’t mean what I said. It was just bullshit to cover the hurt I felt.” James confessed.
Ok so maybe I was softening towards him. His words went a long way to soothing my heart. I wanted to stay mad at him I really did, he’d been a real dick, but I knew I couldn’t. I loved him. Right now I wasn’t afraid to admit it, to myself anyway, but there was no way I’d put myself out there by telling him.
I must have made a noise or something because James turned around until we were looking right at each other. He took a step towards me, but I stepped back because I couldn’t have him touch me yet. He saw my movement and stopped.
“I’m so sorry Scarlett,” He whispered.
“Why did you say those things? Deep down you must think I’m like that.”
“Because I’m an idiot and I was scared. What you make me feel is keeping me off balance. I’ve never felt like this before, I know that’s not an excuse, but I don’t know how to deal with the chaos inside me, I want to lock you away so no one but me can look at you. God, when a guy just looks at you I want to rip his head off. You’re mine.”
Oh, my. I like that he is just as confused as me, but I held back from running into his arms. Instead, I focused on what had hurt me the most.
“You called me a slut.”
James winced. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever said in my life. Babe, you’re no more a slut than I’m a saint. It was the one thing I guessed would hurt you as much as I was hurting in that moment. I’m sorry for that. You’ll never know how much.”
He’d deliberately tried to hurt me; I’m not sure how to feel about that.
Matt came to stand in front of me and ran his finger down my nose.
“I’ll give you some space now I know Scarlett can hold her own.” He smirked.
I moved to a chair once Matt left. It wasn’t until I saw James clench his fists that I looked down and remembered I wore Matt’s shirt.
I rolled my eyes. “Matt gave it to me last night to sleep in because I didn’t have anything to wear, we didn’t have sex,” I said sarcastically. No way would I let him accuse me of that.
“The thought never crossed my mind; I just don’t like my woman wearing another man’s shirt that’s all.” He scowled.
“Your woman?” I asked. My voice was high with anger, but my body heated. This love thing sucked if I couldn’t stay mad at him for at least a couple of days after he messed up. I’m in so much trouble.
“Yes, my woman. I fucked up and jumped to conclusions and yes I treated you like shit but I’ve said I’m sorry, I’ve admitted I was wrong. I need to know we’re ok, that we can get over this.”
I nearly laughed at how fast he went from bossy to sweet.
“You’re right. You embarrassed me, and you treated me like dirt. But you’ve told me why you did it. I’m not completely sure that you aren’t crazy, but I think I’m no less crazy for still wanting to be with you.”
I hoped I didn’t live to regret this, but I have to take the chance. These last weeks with him have been amazing. I finally feel like I’m living my life and I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose James. He spoke words in anger that hurt me, but he apologised. I would be a coward and a fool if I didn’t give us another chance because of it.
Wouldn’t I? Who was I trying to convince?
“Baby, does that mean what I think it does?” James whispered. He crouched in front of me.
“Yes it does.” I said. I watched James close his eyes and when they opened, I smiled at him. He came closer and grabbed my hands.
“You won’t regret this Scarlett. I’ll never ever hurt you again I promise. I’d rather cut off my arm than see the wounded look on your face I put there last night.”
He bent over and peppered my face with sweet little kisses making my heart melt. When he pressed his lips against mine and his tongue brushed against my bottom lip I sighed. It didn’t matter that we’d been away from each other for only one night, it felt like years, and I’d missed him. His kiss left me in my usual daze and he smiled softly at me pleased with the results.
“You’re safe with me Scarlett. I promise. Never again will you doubt that.”
My eyes smarted with tears. James said the one thing I needed to hear. Proving he did know me and he’d temporarily lost his mind last night.
“I know,” I said. James saw I meant it and his body relaxed proving just how tense he’d been. He pulled me out of the chair and into his arms, pressing my face in his chest.
I looked up at him. “Would you like a coffee?” I hadn’t had mine yet, and I was in desperate need now.
“Yes please babe.” He grinned.
I put the kettle on and I was in the middle of taking the cups off Matt’s mug tree when the door opened. I turned to see if Matt wanted one, but his face stopped me, it looked wrong. It was closed off, I couldn’t get a read on him and I knew then something had happened.<
br />
“What now?” I asked. My fingers clung tightly to the counter top to hold myself up. Matt’s eyes caught mine, and I didn’t like what I saw. Whatever he had to say was bad, really bad.
“They’ve found Ruby.”
I gasped. “That’s good news isn’t it?”
“Scarlett, sweetheart, she’s in the hospital and she’s in a pretty bad state.”
Ruby lying in a hospital bed hurt and damaged flashed in front of my eyes and I couldn’t take it.
Everything went black.
I woke up on Matt’s sofa. Matt was leaning over me with a worried look on his face, my head was in James’s lap and he held a wet cloth to my forehead. When he saw my eyes open, he sighed in relief.
I felt numb.
I sat up making them move in concern; it didn’t feel like I’d bumped anything on my faint, so one of them must have caught me in time.
“I want to see my sister,” I said to Matt. Was that my voice? It sounded odd, harsh even. I got up, missing the worried look they exchanged as I walked into Matt’s room to get myself dressed and presentable. I could hear them talking quietly, but I didn’t let the words in, I wanted to stay numb, it was the only way I could cope.
I had to get to Ruby and look after her; I had to protect her better than I already had, I was the older sister; it’s my job to make sure she’s ok, and I’d failed, I’d failed her.
As I walked out the bedroom door Matt and James both turned to look at me. I didn’t speak I just walked out the front door and outside. I didn’t know who would drive, so I waited until they followed me. James came and took my arm leading me to his car. He helped me in and then buckled my belt. He was being so considerate it made me want to cry. Matt climbed in the back and then we were heading to the hospital and to my poor silly sister. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I’m determined not to break down. There would be plenty of time for that later. Ruby was alive that was the main thing.
The concerned looks James and Matt sent me warmed me as much as they made me want to tell them to stop. I knew if I gave in and let myself take the comfort they both wanted to give me I’d break down and I’d be no good for Ruby.
