by S. L. Siwik
Andrea turns the car off. “What about dipping into what Evalyn left?”
I shake my head. “No. They left that money for Kendall’s college education. She’s not like us, Andrea, she’s really smart.”
Andrea looks offended. “And what does that mean? I’m smart.”
“You know what I mean, Dre. We’re street smart and have a lot of common sense. Kendall is book smart. If she wanted to, she could be an astrophysicist.”
“What do they even do?” she asks, her nose scrunching up in confusion. “I don’t think I want Kendall to be an astro-whatever. It sounds like a horribly boring job.”
“Think NASA,” I explain. “She’d be sending people to outer space.”
She smirks at me. “You know. You could have gone to college. Evalyn told me about your grades in high school. Said you were a brain.”
I smile mirthlessly. “That was another lifetime ago.”
“In that case, there’s another option,” she says hesitantly, “A lot of CEOs would love a beautiful woman to have a discreet relationship with...and will pay big money for your company.”
I blink in shock. “That’s your answer?!”
“Oh, come on, Tori! One night a week for a few hours. You’d be having great sex with a wealthy guy! Your pussy and wallet need this!”
“And how am I supposed to look Kendall in the eyes afterwards? I’m trying to set an example for her, not be a prostitute…again!”
“She doesn’t have to know what you do one night a week!” she shouts.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m just going to pretend that we didn’t have this conversation, Dre.” I open the car door to step out.
She grabs my arm. “I’m sorry. I’m worried about you and not just financially. You haven’t even been on a date, Tori, since they died. You haven’t had sex in five years. Setting an example is one thing, being paranoid to feel is another.”
“I don’t want strange men around Kendall. She needs stability,” I reply.
Andrea shakes her head. “You need a life too. Stop using Kendall as an excuse. We both know that you’re afraid to let someone in because you don’t want to end up like your parents.”
“I’ll make you a deal, Dre. When you stop using your parents as an excuse and find love so will I.” Sighing, I lean over and kiss her cheek. “I love you. See you soon.”
***
“Come on in, dear,” Mrs. Hutchins says, “Kendall is just finishing up her project.”
I step through the doorframe to find Kendall hunched over her clay molding of Zeus. Hearing me enter the room, she glances up smiling.
“Hi, Aunt Vikkie.”
“It looks great, Kendall,” I say.
She gushes. “Thanks.”
Mrs. Hutchins is standing next to me smiling.
“Thank you for helping her with this. I would have never been able to.”
“It’s no problem, dear.” The old lady waves me off with her frail looking hands.
“Thank God your next door neighbor was an art teacher, huh?” I say to Kendall. “Okay. Let’s get this into the apartment with the other pieces. Thankfully, after tomorrow, we’ll be able to eat at the table again.”
Kendall frowns. “I like eating on the couch.” She picks up Zeus and starts slowly walking towards the door.
“What do I owe you?” I ask Mrs. Hutchins.
She waves me off again. “You know I love Kendall’s company.”
“Not even money for food?” I ask.
“Enjoy getting all of those projects to school tomorrow,” she says with a knowing smile.
I turn and run to open the door after waving good bye to Kendall’s babysitter. Walking the foot to our own door step, I slide the key into the lock. Our apartment door opens and Kendall walks in with her sculpture.
She places the dry artwork down with the other four pieces of Kendall’s Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. The other three she had brought to school the week prior. I stick my hand up in the air, and we high five.
“Where’s Andrea?” She asks.
“She had to go to work, honey, sorry. She’ll hang out with us soon, though. You hungry?”
“Naa. Had meatloaf tonight. I’ll go shower now,” she says before skipping off to the bathroom.
I change into gym shorts and a tank top before pulling the ancient treadmill down from the wall in our living room. I click to MTV on our television before I start to run my daily five miles. Ten minutes later, Kendall comes in, dressed in her pajamas. The nightgown is a little short now from her last growth spurt. I have to put that on my list of things to remember- new nightgowns.
She plops onto the sofa as the boy band 2 Hot 4 U’s video plays.
“Do you want to visit Granny next weekend?” I ask her.
Kendall shakes her head, twirling her long blonde hair around her finger. “Granny can’t even remember who I am anymore. And then when she starts screaming and freaking out that scares me.” She bites her lower lip nervously. “Does that make me a bad person?”
I shake my head as I continue to run. “It’s not wrong to want to hold on to the good memories that you have of Granny. If you change your mind at any time, let me know, and I’ll take you.”
“Thanks, Aunt Vikkie.” She sighs longingly. “Beth’s mom got her tickets to see them next month.” I realize she is referring to the band. I feel a deep pang of guilt. I know Kendall wants to go to the concert, and I looked into the cost of tickets. The cheapest I could find was eighty dollars, in the nosebleed section. I just don’t have the extra money this month, and my credit card is maxed out from buying groceries.
“I’m sorry, honey. Maybe if I-”
She cuts me off. “It’s okay. I understand. Maybe for my birthday we could order the concert on cable?”
My insides twist up again with guilt. Kendall never asks for anything, never gets upset or angry at the shitty hand she has been dealt. Evalyn and Rich did such an amazing job with Kendall that even I can’t screw her up too badly.
I smile widely. “Sure. We’ll order the concert.” Nothing like illegal cable courtesy of a buddy down at the cable company who owes you a few favors.
“Yes!” she exclaims before dancing wildly.
I frown watching how high her nightgown rises with her movements. I hit the treadmill harder.
Halfway through my run, my cellphone rings. Kendall picks it up and holds it out for me. I look at the number and grimace. A one eight hundred number can only mean that it’s a creditor.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Is this Miss Victoria Wright?” a nasally voice asks.
“This is she,” I reply.
“I’m calling on behalf of America Today’s Credit Card. It seems you missed your last payment.”
I sigh. Just as I’m about to give some excuse, because I can’t give them money that I don’t have, Mr. Townsend beeps in, swooping in to save the day.
“Sorry, my boss is on the other line. I have to take that,” I reply before clicking over. “Mr. Townsend, how can I be of assistance?”
“Miss Wright, I need you to come into the office now and print everything you have on the Jacoby Projects. The buyer wants to talk them over now, and I can’t figure out what file you’ve put them under,” he says. My belly tightens in excitement at just how decadent his voice sounds. The man audaciously has a bedroom voice for his everyday speaking.
“Sir, I’m not decent for the office. I was just working out,” I say.
“This needs to be done right now, Miss Wright,” he replies. I try to hold back a shiver from just how commanding and delicious he sounds.
“Give me thirty minutes. I have to catch the next bus,” I reply.
“My car will come pick you up. Is your address the one still on your tax forms?” he asks.
“Yes, sir.”
“Then I’ll see you in ten minutes.” The phone clicks off.
I glance over at Kendall worriedly.
“It’s okay.
I understand you have to go to work.” I glance at the overflowing basket of folded laundry in the corner of the room. “I’ll put it away.”
I smile, kissing the top of her head. “Remember. Don’t let anyone in to the apartment no matter what.”
“Got it,” she says before turning back to the new music video that just came on.
I walk out the door with a heavy heart, feeling guilty beyond belief. There just aren’t enough hours in the day for everything. I feel guilty that I have to leave Kendall home alone, because my boss requires me to come to the office. I also feel guilty that a huge part of me is excited to see him, especially after office hours. The other part chastises me for wanting to see him and leave Kendall. Any way I look at it, I just feel guilty beyond belief.
***
The limo pulls up at the curb, and Mr. Townsend’s driver steps out for me.
“Miss Wright,” he greets. “Daniel. It’s a pleasure.”
I shake the man’s hand, staring into his chocolate brown eyes. When he smiles, the corners of his mouth and eyes crinkle. Underneath his black cap is salt and pepper hair.
“It’s a pleasure meeting you too. Thank you for picking me up,” I reply.
“Not a problem at all, Ma‘am.” He holds the open door for me.
I step inside, still sweaty from my workout and sink into the plush leather seating. The air conditioning cools my heated skin. Daniel takes the driver seat again.
“We’ll be at the office in a moment, Miss Wright.”
“I put my faith in your surely capable hands, Daniel.”
I watch out my window as my apartment building shrinks by the second.
I know that I’m an asshole for calling Victoria in, especially since I know exactly where the files are on the computer. She is one of the most organized people I have ever seen, simplifying the system for me by alphabetizing everything. But, I haven’t seen her in four hours now. So, when Jack Jacoby called, wanting to see the deal that had been made tonight, it was the perfect opportunity to get what I needed and have a semi-legitimate excuse to see her. Unfortunately, this is what I have been reduced to. It is sad really. Pathetic. The younger me, if it could, would be kicking my ass right about now. But, the truth is, in all that I’ve done in life: seen the world, slept with more women than I care to count, done every drug imaginable, got married, lost my wife, seen everything worth seeing. At the end of it all, I realized it is incredibly lonely doing it all without someone you are crazy about. I suppose that’s how I ended up here.
The door opens, and I look up. Breathless, Victoria walks through the door, and I’m left fighting the urge to take her as she breezes in wearing a navy blue halter top, a bare midriff, and pants so tight that they look like a second skin. What had she said about her appearance? That she was not decent for the office? Absolutely indecent. If she shows any more skin, I’m taking her right on my desk, ass up in the air, and to hell with caring about a lawsuit and losing my business. I button up my sport coat to hide my now growing erection.
“Mr. Townsend,” she replies, flushed, like she had just been fucked hard. Strands of blonde hair have fallen out of her hair tie, spilling down over her shoulders as if she had just had sex.
“Miss Wright, thank you for coming,” I reply as evenly as I can. I can’t stop staring at her bare stomach, however.
She glances down at her outfit, then looks up at me apologetically. “I’m really sorry, sir. I told you that I wasn’t decent for work. When you called, I was running on my treadmill. I would have changed, but you said you needed the documents now.”
I fight back a groan, thinking about her running- her breasts bouncing as she runs, her ass shaking back and forth…
“It’s fine, Miss Wright, I have seen women in workout gear before, and this project needs to be dealt with immediately.”
She flushes, looking down quickly at the floor, and…is that disappointment in her eyes? “Of course you have. I’m sorry. I’ll get right on it.”
Her words spur her into action as she sits down at her desk, typing in the necessary information. She must feel me still watching her, and eventually she glances up at me.
“How many copies do you need?”
If I tell her more copies, she’ll have to stay longer.
“Four copies of every single piece of information on this account. He wants to see it all. Then I need you to organize them, make sure that every page is in order, and then staple them for me. There is no room for error on this, so go over it twice if you have to so that it’s perfect.”
She nods. “Of course, Mr. Townsend.”
I realize that I can’t stand there, gawking at her, so I walk back into my office, and sit down at the computer. With the door open to my office, I swivel my chair a little to be able to see her as I pretend to be interested in a sheet of paper in front of me. I haven’t a clue what it says; the words are too jumbled up for me to read them since I can’t stop thinking about her walking through the door.
Twenty minutes in, her phone rings. Answering it, she whispers, “Hello?”
Is it a lover? Why is she whispering?
“No, that’s okay, sweetheart, I understand. I need to be here for a while tonight. I have to print and organize a lot of papers. I miss you and love you, too. Goodnight, sweetheart.”
Victoria hangs up the phone and goes back to what she is doing. Without thinking, I stand up. The next thing I know, I’m standing behind her, leaning over. I place my hand on her shoulder. She seems to shudder at my touch, and I pull it away instantly. Disgusting her had definitely not been my intent.
“How is everything going, Miss Wright?” I ask.
“Excellent. I’m half-way done.”
“And does your boyfriend need you home quickly?”
She turns towards me quizzically, and we are so close that I can feel her shaky breath on my cheek. It’s as though someone has charged my body up with jumper cables, the power going straight through my body to my groin and making every spot it hits on the way down jolt with the excessive energy.
“Excuse me, sir?”
“Your boyfriend calling…do you need to be home soon?” I ask in a monotone voice.
Victoria smells like sweat, strawberries, and her own personal aroma that I would be able to recognize anywhere. Her hands, poised over the keyboard, are trembling slightly. Why is this woman so afraid of me?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would be a problem if I answered the phone, since this technically isn’t office hours.” Her eyes flicker up to mine nervously. I can still feel hear shaky breaths tickling my skin.
“It’s not a problem at all, Miss Wright. You are not in trouble. I’m simply asking if you need to get home…to your lover. Is calling you in creating a problem for you at home?”
She smiles, and her eyes look amused. I know that I’m missing out on the joke.
“I am not currently seeing anyone, sir.”
She turns her head back around and clicks the button to send the next stack of papers to be printed. No more is said on the subject and she does not offer who was on the phone. I am being dismissed. End of subject.
Feeling like an idiot, I walk back into my office and sit down trying to read that piece of paper again. Only this time the words are still jumbled up because I can’t help but think about why she is so afraid of me. What have I done to cause such alarm in her? Perhaps it isn’t me, but something from her past? I can’t wrap my head around it.
Lost in thought, I finally hear, “Mr. Townsend?”
I glance up at her, and she’s looking at me expectantly. How long had she been standing there?
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “My apologies, Miss Wright. I am a little tired.”
“It’s understandable. You put long hours into your business.” She places the documents down, and I feel like an ass yet again for making her print all of these. “Every page is in order. If you don’t need anything else, I’ll be going.”
“Nothing else tonig
ht, Miss Wright. Thank you for helping me out in a pinch. I know that I can always count on you.” To drive me insane trying to figure you out.
She smiles warmly, the warmth reaching her eyes. It feels like looking into the rising sun.
“It’s not a problem at all. Happy to help.” Her eyes tighten as she studies me. “Would you like me to go get you an espresso?”
I know there isn’t a coffee house around open now for ten blocks. But, if she gets me coffee, she’ll have to come back. The coffee machine broke last week, and its replacement is on its way. In fact, it should have been here by now.
