by Crow, Baylin
A year? What the fuck? I guessed that explained why Brad had kept me a secret. The long work hours made more sense. I was the other man. Not Andy. I took a minute to let that sink in and mentally went back over the texts Andy had sent me. He never mentioned a word that had led me to believe anything other than Brad was cheating.
Rook cursed under his breath, but neither of us could address the new development with my brother sitting right next to me. I didn’t even want to because I hadn’t done anything wrong except blindly trust the guy. However, another beer did sound appropriate for the situation.
Sliding my hand away from Rook’s leg, something I hadn’t even realized I was still doing, I pushed off the stool. “I’m going to grab the beers. Anyone need anything else?”
“Thanks, just the beer,” my brother answered.
Rook shook his head. “I’m good, babe.”
I glared at him from behind Trevor, and a lazy grin finally broke through his irritation.
“So, how’s basketball going? Still looking at going pro?” my brother asked Rook as I walked away.
The truth was I needed a breather. Not because of Brad and Andy. Seeing them was just another reminder that despite how much I wanted this relationship with Rook to be real, it wasn’t and never would be.
But the way Rook was always so protective of me, even though I wasn’t much smaller than him… How he treated me like I was the only person in the world that mattered…
It was too easy to start believing what we had was more than friendship.
I groaned as I bypassed the bar and turned down the hall that led to the bathrooms. Pacing the corridor, I let out a deep breath and rolled my neck.
I’d known it was a bad idea. That pretending to be Rook’s boyfriend would screw with my head. And now I couldn’t decide whether I’d actually agreed to the plan to keep my mom off my back or if I wanted to know for just one week what it would feel like for him to be mine. I was pathetic.
Tugging at my hair, I leaned against the wall and tipped my head back, closing my eyes. This had been such a bad plan.
“Noah.” The clipped word was sharp, and I recognized the voice instantly.
I sighed, not bothering to look at Brad. “What do you want?”
"So, you and Rook, huh?” He took up the spot next to me, leaning against the wall. “I thought you said there wasn’t anything between you two. That he wasn’t even gay."
Brad had always had issues with Rook. That wasn’t a secret. For Brad to insinuate he’d been wronged however, was laughable. “And I thought you were supposed to be upstairs.”
“You didn't waste any time, did you?" he ground out. Had he really just asked me that? I chuckled as I finally opened my eyes, and his narrowed to slits. “What’s funny?”
“You are. Did you really have a boyfriend when we were together?” I shook my head. Why was I even entertaining this? “Never mind. Honestly, I just don’t care.”
Brad’s jaw clenched. “Is that what it’s about? Payback?"
“Payback?” I really did need that beer. “No, it’s not.”
At least it wasn’t for me. Rook’s reasons however, felt a lot like payback, so maybe Brad was onto something, and that stung.
“So, things are already serious between you and Rook?” He cocked a brow as though he didn’t believe me.
Pushing off the wall, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Why are you here? What is it you really want? Because I don’t think you running into me while we’re alone was an accident.”
He nodded. "You’re right. It wasn’t. I think I made a mistake."
I barked a laugh, and stepped around him. "Please excuse me."
Brad grabbed my arm at the last second and leaned toward me. "I'm serious."
"Any reason your fucking hands are on my boyfriend?" Rook's hard voice rasped from behind us, and I’d never been more relieved to hear it.
When I jerked my arm away from Brad, Rook stepped close, pressing his chest against my back and dropped a kiss to the back of my neck. "Everything all right here?"
“It is now.” With Rook’s scent surrounding me and his warmth seeping through my clothes, I relaxed against him. His hold on me tightened, and his lips lingered behind my ear.
"Fucking peachy." The bitter words sliced through the air, reminding me that Rook and I weren’t alone.
Of course, we weren’t. He was playing a part. My stupid heart sank.
Rook waited for Brad to stomp off and disappear around the corner before he loosened his hold, took me by the shoulders, and turned me around to face him. “When I didn’t see you at the bar, I fucking knew something was up. Are you okay? What did that asshole want?”
I told him what Brad had said, shaking my head in disbelief. “I can’t believe he just did that.”
“I can.” Rook's eyes hardened and he growled, “That motherfucker is an egotistical asshole.”
“Yep,” I agreed and glanced over his shoulder. “Where’s Trevor?”
“Called away for wedding duty. You change your mind about telling him about you and Brad?”
“No, I’m not doing that to my brother. This mess is my mistake.” I shook my head. “You think we’ll be missed if we skip dinner?”
“Probably.” Interest sparked in his eyes. “But I don’t care if you don’t. What do you have in mind?”
Grinning, I gestured for him to follow me. “Something we’ll both actually enjoy on this trip.”
Rook’s grin turned boyish. “Please tell me we’re going to the sauna.”
* * *
The large red cedar sauna cocooned us in warmth with soft recessed lighting outlining the ceiling and wide window blinds we’d closed to the outside world. A stack of fluffy, white towels was the only decoration.
Rook, sitting on the wooden bench wearing nothing more than a loose white towel around his hips, leaned back against the ergonomic backrest with his eyes closed and a relaxed grin tilting his lips. "This is like heaven in the middle of fucking hell."
I chuckled as I lay on the bench opposite him. The dry heat that emanated from four infrared heaters built into the back wall had already thawed the blood I was sure had been frozen in my veins, and sweat beaded on my brow. "We should have been coming here since day one. I wonder if anyone else has been using it."
He simply hummed. "It's mine now. I claim it."
I worried my lips as I stared at him, stealing the image of his smooth bare chest glistening in the warm light. The stupid drama caused by my ex had briefly taken my mind off what had happened between us in that secluded alcove. But now that we were alone, the moment raced back in vivid colors and memorized textures that pricked at my fingertips. I'd seen Rook mostly naked too many times to count, but this was the first time that I could almost taste the mint of his breath.
The weird vibes between us today had retreated, but the questions burning on the tip of my tongue were driving me crazy.
Averting my eyes to the ceiling, I cleared my throat. “Are we ever going to talk about what happened yesterday?”
“What happened?” he asked on a drowsy rasp.
My head whipped to the side, studying his relaxed posture. Did he seriously not know what I was talking about, or was he being deliberately obtuse?
"You kissed me, Rook. No one was watching, and you weren’t doing me a favor. Explain."
Rook's nostrils flared, and he peeked between cracked eyelids. "I don't think you're going to like the answer."
My muscles stiffened. "Whether I like it or not doesn't matter because now I really need to know."
He paused, holding my gaze before he sat up and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "Yesterday morning, when I came back to our room…I heard you."
I sat up too. "Heard me what? I was just looking for something to wear."
He gave a slow shake of his head. "Before that."
I tensed as dread bloomed into a deep dark chasm that filled every nook and cranny of my entire body. No. "Heard what, ex
actly?"
"You. In the shower." Rook tilted his head, his whiskey eyes laser focused on mine. "You said my name."
Already shaking my head, I fumbled for the words to explain. To not make things worse. But he knew. "You didn’t come back until I was out of the shower."
"That’s not a denial, which by the way would be pointless. I know what I heard. But I wasn't sure what to do, so I went back into the hall and pretended to come back in."
"You pretended…" This was bad, and I was afraid to ask the extent of the damage. "How much did you hear?"
An unexpected shy grin curled his lips. "Well, I’m not sure how far along you were at that point, but I stayed."
"You listened?" I snapped as a hot flush rushed through my body made worse by the stifling temperature. "What the hell?"
"I’m sorry, okay? I just froze."
"You froze." I glared.
"What do you want me to say? Because I don’t think you're going to like the answers you get if you keep asking questions."
The warning in his tone set me on edge. "Tell me."
His gaze dropped to my lips before blazing a lazy, heated path down to my chest, stomach and settling on the towel covering my cock. His jaw clenched before his gaze snapped back to mine.
"It was hot"—his voice lowered to a tense growl—"and I was tempted to join you. Is that what you want to hear, Noah? That I was hard as fuck, picturing you fucking your hand? How I wondered what you were imagining?"
My lungs screamed for oxygen with the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. It came out on a rush of denial. "Liar."
He slowly shook his head and reached down, adjusting an obvious bulge beneath the towel. "Does this look like a damn lie? Even thinking about it…" He gripped his shaft through the towel, and all the blood in my body rushed to my cock. “You said my name. Tell me the truth, Noah. Did you or did you not come while thinking about me?”
Words might have well been a foreign concept for all the good they were doing me. I had no idea how to respond.
My body buzzed with nervous energy.
He arched a brow. "Would it help if I admitted my dirty secret?"
"Depends on what it is," I hedged, afraid of what he might say.
A cocky edge transformed his grin. "After kissing you, the first time, I jacked off thinking about it. Not once. Or twice. I've gotten off to that shit more times than I can count."
“Bullshit,” I whispered, because it made no sense. "You're straight."
“My cock doesn’t seem to give a shit about, or agree with, that." One of his hands was gripping the edge of the bench so tight, his knuckles had turned white. The other still lazily cupped his cock that was dangerously close to slipping free from the loosened towel. "Now answer the question. What were you thinking about?”
“Rook…" My voice shook. "This is a bad idea.”
And yet it felt unstoppable. Inevitable. Such a bad idea.
“Maybe," he agreed and stroked himself through the towel. "Was I sucking your cock?”
Just the words on his lips made me bite back a moan. I shook my head. "No."
He stared at me as if he was trying to unlock all of my secrets. “Was I fucking you? Were you fucking me?”
My cock jerked, and the moan accidentally slipped free. “Jesus, Rook.”
He groaned and slid his hand down his toned stomach, dipping beneath the towel. His hand started moving, his fist pumping. “Was I playing with your tight asshole, finger fucking you until you sobbed my fucking name and begged me to fill your tight ass with my cock?”
Holy shit. I clenched my jaw to keep myself from trying to bring relief to my cock.
"Do it," he said with a dare in his eyes. "I want to see it."
"We shouldn't do this." For so many good reasons, but Rook did whatever he wanted. Went after it with everything he had. And right now, he seemed to want me. I was confused, but with all of the blood in my body racing down to my cock, it was hard to think straight.
"Why?" He arched a brow. "Everyone's at dinner. No one is going to walk in."
We’d broken so many rules, I couldn’t even remember what they were anymore. Frustrated because I knew I was seconds from caving, I made a last-ditch effort to stop this train wreck with heartache painted on the mangled sides and whisper-yelled, “Rule number twenty! Stop breaking the rules!"
Rook slowly shook his head. “Veto. Now let me see your cock, Noah.”
Keeping my gaze on his, I tugged at the knot at my waist.
Rook's eyes filled with molten lava as I slowly opened my towel. My cock sprang free, and he groaned, his hand moving faster.
My gaze locked on the movement. If we were doing this, I wanted to see everything too. "Your turn."
He didn't hesitate, ripping the towel away.
My mouth went dry at the sight of his long fingers curled around his bare cock. He was long and thick. The tip shiny with a drop of come beading at the center. The dryness of my mouth disappeared as my mouth watered. I wanted him to shove his cock down my throat. I wanted so many damn things in that moment, but we were already crossing so many lines. Lines I knew were drawn but couldn't remember where, when the one thing I wanted most was to watch him come.
“I was sucking your cock while jerking off,” I finally admitted.
Rook's groan tore from his throat, echoing off the walls. “Fuck. Just thinking about your mouth on my cock makes me crazy. I can only imagine what it would feel like."
"What are we doing?" I panted as a corner of my mind screamed that we were making a huge mistake. "We have to stop before this goes too far."
With more restraint than I'd ever needed to practice in my life, I jerked my gaze away, released my cock and pushed to my feet. Before I could take a step, a heavy hand pushed against my chest and my back slammed against the wood wall. I glared at Rook who only stood a few inches taller.
His eyes blazed, heat and frustration swirling in their depths. "Stop worrying about what we should or shouldn't do. What do you want? Want to end this? Fine. I'll let you go. But stop worrying things will go bad. We're past that."
"We're not," I insisted, but I was caught off guard and unable to think clearly. He may have known he'd wanted me, but I was just finding out and was suffering a severe case of whiplash. Things had changed within a span of minutes. What did he expect of me?
"Noah, if you don't stop me, I'm going to kiss you." He swallowed. "And I'm going to touch you."
He moved in. I didn't stop him. Against my better judgment, I held still as his warm lips touched mine. They lingered, and I closed my eyes, absorbing the moment before it broke. Because it would. It had to.
When he pulled away, I licked my lips, tasting salt from his sweat.
Tracking my movements, Rook growled before slamming back against me and slanting his mouth over mine. Without hesitation, I parted my lips, letting him in and soaking in the heady groans clawing up his throat.
He wanted this, and there was no confusion or hesitation behind his actions. He was all in, and I was a slave to the sounds coming from his chest as he dug his fingers through my hair, forcing me to change angles to deepen the kiss.
Then Rook did something I'd only imagined in my fantasies in the dark of night. He pressed his bare cock against mine. I shook. The earth beneath my feet quaked. And fire raced through my veins. Curses spilled from my lips, filling the otherwise silent space, pleas for more.
He gave it to me, slowly rolling his hips—a stark contrast to the way he took my mouth. The first slide of his shaft alongside mine made my eyes roll back and a moan fell from my lips.
"You like that?" he rasped as he broke away. "Want more? Please tell me you fucking do."
"Yes," I hissed. The only fucking thing I wanted was more. "I need it."
His grip on my hair tightened as he brought his hand between us. When he stopped moving, my eyes focused again and found him staring down between us. My gaze wandered down his naked body to where his hand hovered close to o
ur cocks.
"Rook, you don't have to do this." Though it was the last thing I wanted, it was probably better that we stopped anyway. I glanced back at his face. "Let's just forget this—" The word ended on a moan when he wrapped his large roughened hand around our cocks.
"Fuck," he cursed, tightening his fist.
My mouth opened, but no sound came out. It was sensation overload, and against my will, my eyes drifted closed. We both held still, unmoving as our chests heaved. The pause lasted a beat too long, so I forced my eyes open. "What's wrong?"
"Trying not to come yet." He stared at me through hooded eyes. "You squirming isn't fucking helping."
Yet. The word ricocheted around my brain. Though I'd been thinking it, hearing it was different. Unwelcome, reality came barging in with a heavy dose of panic. Placing my hands against his chest, I pushed him back, and his hand fell away. "Rook, stop. Let me think."
"Thinking is overrated." He scanned my face with a needy gaze.
When I stepped to the side to catch my breath, I both hated myself for ending what likely would’ve been the best experience of my life, and praised myself for my restraint.
"Noah…" Rook sighed before taking a step back and scrubbing his jaw. With a frustrated sigh, he snapped up his towel from the bench behind him. "I know what I want, and we aren't done here. You need time to think, fine. But don't start freaking out."
"I'm not freaking out, but that shouldn't have happened." When I locked eyes with him, I silently begged him to understand.
He pursed his lips and then gave a stiff nod. "Fine. It never happened then."
A heaviness settled on my shoulders and weighed on my heart. "It was a mistake. Neither of us were thinking."
"That's all I've been doing." He gave me a tight grin. "But it sounds like your mind is made up. I'm not going to beg you to explore this thing between us, and don't tell me it was nothing. That was everything, and I was a moron for not realizing it sooner." He shook his head and gave a quiet chuckle. "Not that it would have mattered, I guess."
