This was Cole’s come to Jesus moment.
“Jose has been telling me I’d be more successful going out on my own. He says there’s a major label that wants to consider signing me, but as a solo act. Not with the Rejects,” he let out in a rush.
“Why don’t they want the Rejects?” I asked, not understanding.
Cole lowered his hands but wouldn’t look at me.
“Jose says I’m where the money’s at. I’m the one bringing the chicks in the door. I’m the image and the appeal. He’s blown so much smoke up my ass I’m probably going to float the fuck away. He says he’s found a clause that will get me out of my Pirate Records contract. And then I’ll be free to sign with who ever I want. I’ll be able to write my own music. Do my own thing. He says the guys are holding me back.”
“And what do you think?” I asked.
“I think my head is a mess and I don’t know what I think.”
Slowly, I reached out and took his hand, gripping it. He turned his palm up and twined his fingers with mine.
“Well, stop thinking with your head. What does your heart say?” I asked.
Cole’s eyebrows rose. “What does my heart say? Are you serious?” he chuckled.
I smacked his arm. “Yes, I’m serious. Stop overanalyzing and think with that thing that beats in your chest. At the end of the day, what do you want to do?” Cole was silent as he considered my question.
“What will make you happy?” I demanded.
Cole stared at me for a long time, chewing his lip ring.
“You,” he said quietly.
And then he was reaching for me and I couldn’t deny him or myself any longer.
His hand curled around the back of my neck and he pulled me toward him. And just before his lips met mine, he looked deep into my eyes and I saw something shift in their depths.
“Just you,” he whispered before he claimed my mouth with his.
It started softly, almost gently. But as with any time we were together, the tentative touches caught fire and we began to devour each other.
I parted my lips and he plunged his tongue inside, tasting every inch of my mouth. I reached down to the hem of his shirt, planning to rip it off him when he stopped me.
He pulled back suddenly. “You said no sex.”
“Are you kidding me right now?” I practically screeched.
Cole shook his head. “You were pretty adamant, Viv. I just don’t want you coming back later and saying I took advantage of you or something. That I manipulated you.”
I cocked my head to the side and looked at him. “Are you manipulating me?” I asked bluntly.
Cole recoiled. “No!” he proclaimed, grabbing my hands and kissing my knuckles. “God, no! Please believe me,” he begged me.
I smiled sweetly.
Because I believed him. I really did. I knew that this time wasn’t about anything but Cole wanting to be with me. For me.
This was about us.
I leaned forward. “Then fuck me, Cole,” I growled, reaching for his shirt again.
And he stopped me again.
“What now?” I whined. I was three seconds away from going cavewoman and clubbing him.
“Not here,” Cole said, standing up. He held out his hand and pulled me to my feet.
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the tip of my nose. “We’re doing this right. Where’s your bedroom?”
My mouth went dry. Cole was hard to resist under normal circumstances. But this Cole, with his seductive tenderness, would wreck me.
“This way,” I said softly and led him down the darkened hallway to my room.
I didn’t turn on the lights right away and almost argued when Cole flipped on the bedside lamp.
He looked around, taking in everything, just as he had done in the living room and kitchen. Then he turned to me and slowly lifted his shirt and dropped it onto the floor. I watched as he unbuckled his jeans and lowered his pants. He kicked them off and stood before me, naked and amazing. His body wasn’t overly muscular. But he was lean and defined, covered in ink.
He stared as I followed suit and took off the overly large Generation Rejects T-shirt, my bare breasts heavy with my arousal. I hooked my fingers into the edge of my sweatpants and underwear and lowered them all at once.
Since we were being all sexy and stuff, no need to kill the mood with my parachute underwear.
Why, oh why hadn’t I worn a thong?
But something told me I could be decked out in full body Christmas pajamas and Cole wouldn’t care.
His eyes consumed me. He licked his lips and my knees almost buckled from the intensity of his look alone.
He wanted me.
All of me.
I had never felt more beautiful.
“Come here,” he commanded.
Once upon a time I would have leaped across the room and into his arms at his request.
But some things had changed.
I didn’t move. I tilted my head to the side, my hair falling around my shoulders.
“No. You come here.”
Cole’s lips twitched into a sexy smirk.
“Is that how we’re going to play this?”
I put my hand on my hip and watched in satisfaction as he crossed the room towards me. When he was less than a foot away I beckoned him closer with my finger.
“Closer,” my voice was low and husky. The anticipation was killing me.
Cole took a step forward, still not touching me.
“Come on, I need you closer,” I urged breathlessly.
Cole pressed himself up against me. I could feel his erection digging into my belly. He wrapped his arms around my back and lowered his mouth to mine.
“You say jump, I say how high,” he promised, his eyes dancing.
Holding me, he backed up until his knees hit the bed and then he pulled me down on top of him.
“You say run, I say how far,” Cole murmured, running his nose along the length of my jaw.
“You say forever, I say not long enough.” He kissed a line along the column of my throat. My heart leaped into my throat and I was suddenly finding it hard to breathe.
“Just shut up and kiss me already,” I chastised. The mushy, emotional stuff was threatening to undo me completely.
And kiss me he did. What had started as a gentle wooing became a violent possession. Cole rolled me onto my back and sank his teeth into the flesh of my shoulder as he dove his hand between my legs, his fingers finding my swollen clit.
I arched off the bed as his mouth suckled and licked my aching breasts.
He looked up before taking my nipple into his mouth. “What’s your favorite color?”
I frowned, lost in a daze of lust. Had I heard him correctly?
“Huh?”
Cole rubbed against my clit a little harder, making me groan.
“Your favorite color, what is it?”
He teased my soaked folds with his fingers, not giving me enough to satisfy the sweet, almost painful ache that was steadily building.
“Please, Cole!” I yelled, ready to pull my hair out. Or his.
“Tell me your favorite color and I’ll give you what you want,” he promised, leaning up to kiss my lips. His fingers stopped moving altogether and I wanted to die. My body was taut and ready to explode.
“Green! My favorite color is green!” I hollered and then I screamed as Cole plunged his fingers deep inside me. His hand began a punishing rhythm as he sucked on my nipple.
I was close. Oh so close.
And then he stopped again.
“What the fuck?” I demanded.
“What’s your middle name?”
I squeezed my thighs together, pushing his fingers higher up into my body. I grabbed the back of his hair and held him tightly.
“I get what you’re doing. And while I appreciate it, now. Is. Not. The. Time!” I punctuated each word on a growl, wiggling my hips and pressing my legs together, encouraging him to move his hand.
/> Cole bit down on my bottom lip hard enough to make me yelp. “What is your middle name, Vivian?” he asked slowly and succinctly.
I sighed and flopped back on the bed. “Rose. All right? My middle name is Rose!”
“That’s my girl,” he smiled down at me and then the questions were over. He removed his hand and felt around for the condom he must have laid there earlier. Sneaky son of a bitch.
He made quick work of putting it on and then he was between my legs. I was panting with need. Things weren’t moving quite fast enough for me. I wanted him now! Before I lost my mind!
Cole rolled us so that I was straddling him. I looked down at him and my heart wanted to burst from my chest.
He reached up and ran his hand through my hair, pulling me down. He kissed me hard.
“Fuck me, Viv. Ride my cock and make me forget there was ever anyone but you,” he snarled against my mouth.
And that’s exactly what I did.
I was experiencing a major case of déjà vu. I hadn’t even opened my eyes yet and already I was rock hard. And it had everything to do with the warm, female body sprawled out across me.
I knew I wasn’t dreaming this time. I peeked under my lashes and couldn’t help but smile. Vivian’s cheek was pressed against my chest, her mouth gaping open as she snored her cute little heart out.
Was that drool?
I sincerely hoped not.
I ran my hand down her back, running my fingers along smooth skin. I had to take a piss but I wasn’t in a rush to move.
I was perfectly happy just where I was.
Huh. Well lookie there.
I was happy.
Really, really fucking happy.
I hadn’t been expecting this when I had made the decision to come to Vivian’s place last night.
I had been in a really shitty place for the last couple of days. After talking to Garrett, I had holed up in my apartment, hiding out from the world. I had continued to avoid Jose’s phone calls, though I knew he needed an answer from me. He wanted to know what I was going to do.
The problem was I was no closer to figuring that out then I was on Sunday when I came back to Bakersville. And Garrett’s pep talked hadn’t helped. Instead he had messed with my head even more.
But as I sat in my crappy apartment, staring at the wall because I still hadn’t bothered to get the cable turned back on, I knew that I needed to fix stuff. I needed to take my life by the reins and stop waiting for everything to sort itself out.
Hiding in my apartment while the world passed me by wasn’t going to solve shit. I had to stop being such a pussy.
And I needed to start making amends for all the dumb crap I’ve done. I had to stop being the guy who treated everyone around him like they didn’t matter. I needed to take stock of where I was.
And that was alone. Miserably and completely alone.
I hated it.
But I had done this to myself.
It was time to figure out the best way to make it up to the people I had hurt.
Call it Cole Brandt’s twelve-steps for recovering assholes.
And I had to start with the woman I hadn’t realized was so important to me until she wasn’t there anymore.
During all the crazy chaos, the only person I wanted to talk to was Vivian. She got me on some sick twisted level and you didn’t turn your back on someone who understood you like that.
So I had gone to the store, an idea taking root in my head. I needed to fix my band and my relationship with my friends.
But first I needed to fix things with Vivian.
I didn’t expect her to forgive me. Hell, I had a strong inkling she’d slam the door in my face. And it was no less than I deserved. But I wouldn’t go away. I planned to stand outside her door all night long if I had to. Just to show her that I meant business and that no matter what, I was going to make it up to her. And I’d do it in the only way I knew how.
By being an obnoxious, unrelenting jerk.
But she hadn’t slammed the door in my face. She had actually let me inside.
And now here I was, in her bed, and I felt like the luckiest man on the damn earth.
Even if her hair was tickling my nose and kept getting stuck in my mouth.
I continued to rub my hand slowly up and down her back. I loved her skin. I loved her tits. I loved her fabulous fucking ass. Shit, I loved her knees. And her toes. And the soft spot just below her ears.
My heart thudded in my chest and my hand stilled in its slow progress along her spine.
I had known this woman for two years. And for two years she had put up with my crap and given it right back to me. She never backed down but she never walked away from me either.
She never, ever left.
Until I forced her to. Until I made it impossible for her to stay.
And, whether I had recognized it at the time or not, the act of her leaving had cut me to the quick.
Because I hadn’t wanted her to go.
I needed her.
I had to know that at the end of all this crazy insanity with the band, with Jose and the label, that she’d be there, waiting for me. Ready to drive me nuts and blow my mind.
I wanted to be able to pick up the phone from wherever I was and call her. Just the sound of her voice making it all better.
Goddamn it, I knew exactly what this shit was.
I loved Vivian.
I was poke my eyes out with a fork, walk over hot coals, swim in a tank full of sharks in love with her.
I didn’t want her for one night. I didn’t want her just for a weekend.
I wanted her for as long as she’d have me.
And if I had anything to say about it, that would be one long-ass time.
I leaned down and kissed the top of her head, closing my eyes as I wrapped my arms around the woman I loved with every damn thing inside of me.
I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I wanted to tattoo it on my butt cheek. I wanted to shake her awake and scream it at the top of my lungs so she could hear me. And then I wanted to make love to her.
I didn’t want to fuck her. I didn’t want to screw her. I wanted to make sweet, sweet, Marvin Gaye style love to her.
But given the way Vivian was snoring, I didn’t see her waking up anytime soon. To be fair, we had had a pretty intense night.
But I was antsy and restless. I wanted to share with her my amazing realization. Okay, okay, I also wanted to put my dick inside her. I was only human.
I was an impatient man and I didn’t do waiting.
I rolled Vivian on her back and latched my mouth onto her breast.
“Ahh,” she moaned, instantly awake.
“Good morning,” I mumbled around a mouthful of nipple.
“What the hell?” Vivian groaned as I dipped my hand between her legs. She was ready. Shit, she was always ready.
God, I loved her.
She threaded her fingers through my hair, pulling gently. Her body moved languidly, still half asleep.
I grabbed a condom from the pile Vivian had to snag from Gracie’s room last night and quickly put it on.
Vivian’s eyes were heavy lidded, her lips parted as she breathed erratically. Her hair was all over the place.
And I wanted her so badly I thought I’d die from it.
I slid slowly and surely inside her. She wrapped her legs around my hips as I started to thrust.
“I love you, Viv. So fucking much,” I moaned, holding onto her hips as I pounded into her.
She didn’t say anything. I didn’t think much of it. My entire focus was on my need to come.
I wanted her to go first though. I couldn’t come without her. I reached down and pressed my thumb to her clit and started to rub. She arched up off the bed, her thighs tightening around me.
I changed the angle and continued to use my thumb to work her over. And then she was screaming and I was screaming and we were exploding in one giant orgasm.
I collapsed on top of her, my cock sti
ll bedded deep inside her. We were breathing nosily, Vivian’s arm covering her eyes.
Suddenly she shoved me. “Get off me, dickhead,” she hissed. I pulled out of her, my dick cursing me for taking it away from the only place it wanted to be.
She rolled over to face the wall. I quickly took off the condom and tried to find some place to put it. I thought about going for a three pointer into the wastebasket across the room but knew, given the look on Vivian’s face that would completely set her off.
In the end I wrapped it in some tissue and put it underneath her Cosmo magazine. I only hoped she found it after I had left.
“What’s the problem, Viv?” I asked, frowning. I should have known nothing with this chick was ever easy. I gently rolled her onto her back and I leaned over her.
“What did you say to me?” she demanded.
My frown deepened. “I asked you what your problem was.” Vivian pulled the blanket up to cover her tits and I wanted to mourn the loss of them.
She slid over to the edge of the bed and sat up. “No, before that.”
I ran my hand through my hair. I really needed to get it cut.
Focus, Cole, focus! You’re walking into a minefield!
“Uh, um. . .” I stammered, not sure what she was getting at. Sex fried my brain. It wouldn’t be functioning at full steam for at least twenty minutes. This was a dangerous time for yours truly when confronted by an angry female of the Vivian Baily variety.
“You said you loved me, dumbass!” she yelled, her eyes narrowed and her mouth pursed.
I grinned. Oh now I remembered.
“Yeah, I did,” I said, running my fingers down her face. She smacked my hand away and glared.
“How can you say something like that? During a time like that? Are you stupid as well as narcissistic?”
I was so confused. Weren’t those three little words what every woman longed to hear?
I wanted to tell her so I did. I thought she’d be overjoyed. I thought it would bring us closer.
I sure as shit hadn’t expected her to kick me out.
Seductive Chaos Page 24
