Seth said good night to the children while she paced. She hadn’t been in his room before now, and she was surprised to see the lack of feminine things in comparison to the room in the back.
It was obviously a man’s bedroom. The furniture was large, the room expansive in comparison, and the furniture fit perfectly although it was somewhat bulky in nature. A very large bed sat near the window, centered in the room with two dressers and an armoire to hang clothes in. She hadn’t moved her things in as of yet, but Seth had apparently moved some of his things around in preparation for hers. There were empty drawers in one of the bureaus. His clothes had been pushed aside in the armoire to make room for hers, and the top of one of the dressers was cleaned off in order for her to put her small, personal things on it. No frilly coverlet graced the bed, there was no rocker in the corner, and no lace curtains were on the window, as in the other room.
She stood there, studying the layout and staring at the big bed, realizing she and Seth would be sharing it that night. A moment later she felt Seth’s presence behind her.
* * * *
After Seth had said good night to the children, he headed toward his room. Once he reached the doorway, he stood for a moment behind Lily, to study the room himself and try to visualize what she saw. He realized how impersonal it appeared to him. He and Victoria had shared this room their entire marriage, but she’d never really made it hers. She’d decorated the back room with her feminine things, leaving their bedroom bare. Now that he thought about it, it seemed a little odd.
“I see you haven’t moved your things in yet.”
“No. I was busy with other things today, so I hadn’t really thought about it until now. I’ll move them tomorrow, I guess. I need to get something to sleep in, though, so I’ll be right back.”
He watched her retreating figure and then moved quickly into the room. He normally slept nude but he hadn’t thought about how it might make her uncomfortable until now. He undressed quickly and slid between the sheets before she returned.
She entered their room a few minutes later, already dressed in her nightgown. She'd pulled the pins from her hair and brushed it out before she had returned. He almost wished she hadn’t. Her hair fascinated him. He would have loved to watch her brush it. The lamplight reflected off the long waves when she moved.
She stood chewing her lip by the dresser before she took a long, deep breath and moved toward the vacant side of the bed. She pulled the sheets back and slid in beside him.
He rolled over and blew out the lamp on his side of the bed. His body screamed for contact with hers, but he fought the desire rushing through his veins with each breath. “Thank you for taking care of things today with Carmen gone,” Seth said quietly in the darkness while the moon shone brightly through the rough curtains that hung on the window.
“My pleasure. I don’t mind cooking and cleaning. It keeps me busy when I’m not working on lessons for the children.”
“When are you going to start classes again?”
“Monday, I think. That will give me some time over the next couple of days to get some things together. I already talked to the mayor at the party, and he said that would be fine.”
“Good. I know our children are getting restless already, so I’m sure the other parents are feeling the strain, too, with their children at home.”
Silence stretched between them, and he struggled to find something else to say. “Well, good night then.” He rolled onto his side and settled down to try to sleep.
“Good night,” she whispered, and he fought the urge to gather her to his side and hold her close.
The next morning, he woke before Lily, slipped out of the big bed, grabbed his boots and headed for the barn. It had taken him quite a while to fall asleep as he lay there thinking about the beautiful woman lying next to him and how much he wanted her. His body ached with his attempts to keep his desire in check, and he needed release soon, otherwise, he would surely go mad.
At some point in the night, she had curled up behind him with her hand resting over his stomach. When he'd opened his eye that was the position he found the two of them in. The desire to roll over and take her right there was almost his undoing. He nearly bolted from the bed when she moved in her sleep and snuggled deeper into his backside, and slid her feet over his. He had to lie there for several minutes, trying to control his rapid breathing, before he attempted to slide out of her grasp without waking her.
It will be a cold swim in the pond above the house this morning.
* * * *
In the coming days, things settled down to somewhat of a routine for the makeshift family as Lily helped Carmen around the house, played with the children and slept beside Seth each night. Her heart craved the man next to her while they lay side-by-side in the big bed, never touching, hardly talking, but always hoping he would come to love her someday.
The next day Seth discovered she'd packed all Victoria’s things away, and he flew into an absolute rage.
They stood toe-to-toe in the middle of the room. “What the hell have you done?” he yelled.
She tried to reassure him. “I didn’t throw anything away, Seth.” His rage scared her, but she wasn’t going to back down. “I only packed them in the trunk over there.”
“How could you? Those were her things!”
“I realize that, but this is our home now. Not yours and hers. If you want them out, then take them back out yourself, but I’ll not be faced with your memories of her haunting where I live.” He began to pace, and fear gripped her heart. “Just remember who asked whom to get married.”
His angry hiss reverberated around the room. “Don’t throw it back in my face, woman. You know the reasons behind that, and you could have refused.”
“I know, and I didn’t, but this is my home now too.”
He glared as the fire in his eyes scorched her to her very soul. “Fine! Do whatever you wish.” He raked her body with his gaze, then spun around and slammed out of the house.
When the front door banged shut, she slumped into the rocker, and all the fight drained out of her. If they didn’t get some things straight between them soon, this was going to be a very long and unhappy union.
Chapter Fifteen
The turbulent days ended when Monday finally arrived and Lily could get back to teaching. The wagon was a little harder to maneuver than a small buggy, but she figured it out when she took the children into town for school.
Excitement rippled on the air when they all took their seats, almost bouncing in their enthusiasm. It didn’t take any time at all for them to start calling her Mrs. Sanford. She liked the way it sounded.
The days became routine. Lily took the children in each day for class, and Seth worked around the ranch breaking horses and doing chores.
On Wednesday Daniel shuffled into the schoolhouse after the children had left for the day.
He slipped in through the back door and moved toward her with a slow roll of his hips. “Mrs. Sanford.” The sound of her name coming from his mouth sounded almost like a sneer.
"Daniel. I’m surprised to see you. What can I do for you?” She was uncomfortable with him near her now as she silently compared him to Seth.
“I thought we might continue with our lessons.” He seated himself on the corner of her desk, crossing his arms.
“Yes, well, I suppose that would be all right. But I can’t today. I need to make arrangements for the children on the days we are to meet so that they are not stuck here in town until we are finished. How about tomorrow?” The children stood in the doorway waiting for her to gather her things and heard every word of the conversation.
“That would work fine. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.” He flashed a quick smile and a wink in her direction before he turned and walked out the back door.
She sighed and headed for the front door. The children scrambled out of the schoolhouse and into the wagon while Lily locked the door behind her and scurried to get into the wagon seat herse
lf. At times like these she wished she were able to wear the trousers she had claimed the day she and Seth had gone riding. They were much easier to move about in when she had to climb in and out of the wagon. She smiled when she thought of how the town would react to her wearing trousers every day to school. I can hear the matrons already! A giggle burst from her lips, and the children shot her a confused look.
When they got home, Seth came out from the barn to take the horses and unhitch them for her. His hot stare warmed her back as it followed her into the house.
That night at supper Jarod blurted out, much to Lily’s chagrin, “Pop, did you know Miss Lily was giving Mr. Roberts lessons?”
Seth’s gaze swung around to her with a questioning raise of his eyebrow. “Is she now?”
Lily turned to Jarod, giving him a frown, and he bowed his head. “It is nothing, really.”
“Nothing?” Seth questioned, waiting for her to explain.
“I’m just doing some tutoring for him. In fact, can you pick up the children after school tomorrow? I have an appointment with him.”
After a moment he said, “All right,” but the look he gave her told her he wasn't happy about the situation.
* * * *
Nothing more was said until later that night, when they were lying in the big bed. “I don’t want you seeing Daniel.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her head snap around to stare at him in the darkness. “Excuse me?”
“I don’t want you seeing Daniel.”
“I’m not seeing Daniel. I’m tutoring him.”
“All right. I don’t want you tutoring him either.”
“I didn’t realize you had any say in the matter,” Lily snapped.
“I am your husband, am I not?”
“Yes but…” Lily started, but he interrupted.
“I am telling you not to tutor him anymore.” He was angry. The rage at her defiance burned in his gut until he thought he would be sick.
Sitting straight up in the bed, she said, “Let me get this straight. You are forbidding me to tutor a student who needs my help.”
He snorted. “No. I’m forbidding you to tutor Daniel. How hard is this to understand, Lily?”
“Well, let me tell you something, husband of mine,” she replied angrily. “I will do as I please when it comes to teaching someone in that fashion. I am a teacher, and as a teacher, I will teach, whether it be a child or an adult who needs my help, Daniel or not.”
She settled back down next to him and turned on her side away from him.
She was supposed to do what he told her, wasn’t she? He was learning more and more each day about this woman he had married. Now he was learning how stubborn and bullheaded she was while she defied his order not to tutor Daniel. He knew enough now to know that she would do whatever she wanted, no matter what he said, so he would just have to keep a close eye on her. The thought of his wife and the other man together gnawed at his gut. A scene of the two of them making love flashed across his mind and just about ripped his heart out. He had told her if she found someone to love, he would let her go, and that thought now was like a knife to his chest as he rolled away and lay there in the silence.
* * * *
Daniel appeared through the back door precisely at three fifteen. Lily had laid out several lesson plans and tried to get him to focus on where they'd left off previously. He obviously wasn't interested in learning what she put in front of him. His goal was to find out what type of relationship she had with Seth.
“How are things with you and Seth?”
“Fine. Now can you read this line for me?” Lily tried to change the subject in an attempt to get him to focus.
“I was a bit surprised when Aunt Madge said you two were getting married. I hadn’t realized you’d become so close,” he replied, refusing to concentrate on the book.
“I know it was rather sudden, but we care a lot for each other, and it just seemed natural, I guess. You know, I really don’t want to talk about my relationship with Seth. Can we focus on the lessons, please?”
“You know, I’m a little disappointed.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I wanted to get to know you a little better myself. You're a very beautiful woman, Lily.” He put his hand on her face and slid it up into her hair.
“Daniel! This is completely improper. I’m a married woman. Now please, let go.” She grasped his wrist and tried to pull it back from her face.
“Aren’t you the least bit interested in comparing me with Seth? Victoria certainly was.” His mouth swooped down on hers, brutally taking her lips in a grinding assault.
She placed her hands on his chest and attempted to push him away. Before she could, he was jerked back and flung out of the seat next to her, landing on the floor several feet away.
Lily turned to see Seth standing over her with an enraged look in his eyes. “Did I interrupt something?”
“Seth.” Her voice sounded breathless even to her as she tried to stand on shaky legs. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“Isn’t it? He appeared to be kissing you. Am I mistaken?” His eyes narrowed into slits as Daniel stumbled to his feet and stood with fists clenched at his sides.
“What’s between me and Lily is none of your business, Seth.”
“It’s not? That’s strange, since she’s my wife! Keep your hands off her, Daniel, before I have to kill you,” Seth growled, straining his words through clenched teeth. His hand hovered near the pistol he kept at his side whenever he was away from the house. “Get your things, Lily, we’re going home.”
Daniel stood almost toe-to-toe with Seth as they each measured the other. Lily grabbed her things and then she touched Seth on the arm and said, “Let’s go, please. This is insane. You don’t want to kill each other.”
* * * *
The pressure of her hand on his arm reached the rage that had clouded his mind when he entered the school house and saw them. He put his arm around her shoulder, and they walked out, leaving Daniel standing in the middle of the room. Silence enveloped them on the ride back to the house. Anger held him in its claws while he gripped the reins with white knuckles and fought the feelings rippling through him.
When they reached the yard, he stopped and jumped down, walking around to help her out of the wagon. Her feet touched the ground, but his hands didn’t leave her waist. He was sure thinly veiled fury reflected in his gaze when he stared down at her face. Without a word, his mouth came down on hers, hard. She whimpered softly under his assault. The sound reached inside the anger that encompassed his mind, and he softened the kiss as her arms came up around his neck.
He finally raised his head and said, “You are my wife. Remember that.”
She stumbled when he let her go and grabbed the horses to head for the barn.
Later, when he had finally followed her into the house, he passed their bedroom and headed for the office and the whiskey. He could hear her crying softly, even though it was muffled behind the closed door, and it tore at his gut. He hated a woman’s tears. Victoria always knew how to get what she wanted. All she had to do was turn on the tears, and he would do anything she wanted. Now it was Lily’s turn. She had learned to turn him inside out every day, and he had no way to stop it. When he had gone into the schoolhouse and saw her kissing Daniel, he had almost lost his mind. He knew the pistol at his side would take care of the other man, but he'd never wanted to kill another person in cold blood until that moment. When they had stood toe-to-toe, he’d almost pulled the trigger. Lily’s voice had penetrated the anger boiling in him and snapped him out of pulling the gun.
He poured himself a large glass of whiskey, downing it in one gulp before he poured another and let the heat warm his insides.
Jealous? Is that what was happening to him? Was he jealous of Daniel? He didn’t know. All he knew was he didn’t want Lily with anyone other than him, and when he sat down in the big chair, thoughts of their last several days together ran across
his mind.
He heard Lily tucking the children in while he sat in the office. He hadn’t come out all afternoon because he didn’t want to face her. He couldn’t, not after what had happened at the schoolhouse. He had acted like the jealous husband, and he wasn’t sure he liked the idea at all. He didn’t know when she had gotten under his skin, but he knew she was there, like a burr under a horse blanket, and he bucked at every turn.
He finally blew out the lamp in the office and headed off to bed, hoping she had already fallen asleep. He wasn’t sure right now if he would be able to stop himself from making love to her, no matter what she said in protest. Approaching their door, he breathed a small sigh of relief when he saw no light shining beneath.
He walked to his side of the bed and sat down before he pulled off his boots, stripped down to bare skin, and slipped under the sheets beside her.
“Seth?” she said in the darkness. “I think we need to talk about what happened earlier.”
Damn. He really didn’t want to talk about what happened, not now, not ever, but she obviously wasn’t about to let it go.
“I don’t know how much you saw, but it wasn’t what you thought it was.”
“It wasn’t? It sure looked like it to me.”
“You clearly don’t believe me, but I wouldn’t lie to you. There is nothing between Daniel and me, although he sounded like he wanted there to be.”
“That wouldn’t surprise me in the least. Question is, do you?” He held his breath and waited for her answer.
“No. I don’t want to be anywhere but here.” Honesty laced her words as she rolled toward him. “I only want to be with you, but right now, I don’t know what you want from me.”
Seth didn’t know how to answer. He wanted her with every fiber of his being, but could he love her? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t know if the feelings growing between them were love. He thought he was in love with Victoria, but what he felt for Lily seemed completely different. He ached for his new wife, even when she wasn’t there. He longed to see her smile at him with the loving expression she so lavishly gave to their children. He wanted her to touch him, kiss him and give herself to him of her own free will, but they had made a deal. He would give her the security of marriage while she took care of their children. Could he go back on it now? Would she let him?
Love's Sweet Surrender Page 18
