by Jet MacLeod
“Miss Teresa?” I asked, biting my leather glove off.
She whimpered and her glorious blue eyes opened.
“Miss Teresa?” I asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I am good, Eli. Help me up,” she stated.
“Emilio, go and get Doc Steven. He can’t be too far from here. He told me he was heading over to Marley’s place.”
“Don’t worry about me, boys. I am okay. Just a little fall, it’s nothing major. I have had worse on my Dadda’s farm in Meridian. I’ll be fine. Just help me up,” she said and we did.
She leaned forward for a second, then backward, and then righted herself.
“See. I am good. No problem,” she told us.
“I’d still rather you see the doctor, Miss Teresa,” I urged her.
“Nope. I am fine, Eli. Let poor Doc Von Kamp deal with his other patients. Now, someone get me back onto Lavender over there so I can go home,” she commanded.
“Lavender?” we all questioned.
“The horse. Lavender. You know the feisty filly over there,” she quipped, pointing at her horse.
“Well, boys, seems the filly’s name is Lavender,” I stated with a smile, “Now, Mike, would you go get her for Misses Bradley, so we can take her home.”
“Yes, sir,” Big Mike answered riding off after the filly.
“I wish you would let Doc Steven see about your head,” I told her.
“No need, Eli, I’m fine,” she demanded, “Now, let it go and let me be.”
*****
I got her home and in bed. She was actually quite adamant that she was fine, so I finally let it go. She just kept saying that it was a “nick on the head, and nothing to worry about.” I was still cautious. She had hit her head before, dang near died, and that was only a few months ago. Could she honestly think that I wouldn’t worry about her?
She came down in a riding habit the next morning of jeans and a cotton shirt, covered by a vest and a jacket. She looked like that boy on the table at Doc’s office again. Her hair was pulled back and tied up with a string of leather. She grabbed her Stetson off the hall tree and placed it firmly on her head. She has a slight goose egg on her head, but she seemed to be okay.
“You’re going to town today, right, Eli?” she asked.
“Yes’m, I am. Do you need something?” I questioned.
“Just take this to the bank. I have some business to attend to, but seeming as I can’t go to town just yet, I’ll need you to drop this off for me. Or, do you want me to break doctor’s orders and take it myself?” she asked me.
“No problem, Miss Teresa,” I replied.
“And, Eli,” she stated, “Call me Reece.”
She walked out the door. I stood and watched her cross the yard. She went straight towards the stables.
I didn’t know what she had on her mind, but I knew that most of it centered on this ranch. I also saw a bit of sadness in her eyes. I could tell, then, that she remembered everything that had happened before and after the accident. Somehow that hit on the head had jogged her memory back.
I could only hope that she knew that I was going to be here for her when she was ready to talk. I was the big brother that she never had. And, I, like so many more, couldn’t help but love that blond, blue-eyed, wonder of a girl and never tell her “No” for anything.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Reece, Circle B Ranch, Spring 1874
I woke up in my own bed. It had been so long since I had seen the inside of the main house of the Circle B, at least a few years. I had to admit to myself that it was a good feeling to be back in my own bed, now that it was on my own terms. I was tired of following the rules of someone else. I was happy to be myself, again.
As I lay there, staring at the ceiling, it hit me. I lost her. Rayne found out the truth and now she was gone. I should have found the time to tell her. I should have done so much when it came to her, but I had been selfish. I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. I could barely remember the look on her face when I tried to tell her the truth. She cringed. I was too weak to do anything. I couldn’t stop her, not that I think I even would have dared to try.
I got up. I was still weak, but the ranch needed me and me, it. I washed up in my room and donned my favorite blue cotton Henley and Levi’s. I am sure my hair was a little longer. But, at that moment, I really didn’t care.
I walked out on to the porch after I found a cup of coffee in the kitchen. I stood there watching Eli on a new stallion, giving orders about the care of the ranch for the day. I was so glad that I could count on him as my friend.
If it had not been for Eli, I am sure that I would have died. He took care of me, when no one else would have. I owed him so much, for all that he has done for me. I looked up to see Eli watching me from across the way. He had been doing that since I woke up un my own bed and remembered everything that had happened since I left. He didn’t question my dress or the situation. He just nursed me back to health.
“What is it, Eli?” I questioned him.
“Nothing, Miss Teresa, really. Just wondering when you was goin’ to get on yer horse and ride out, again, not telling a soul what yer goin’ and what yer doing,” he said.
“I am not.”
“Nope?” he questioned.
“No, not this time, Eli. I am here to stay. There is nothing out there for me, anymore,” I stated.
“I am sorry to hear that Misses Bradley,” he said.
I knew he was upset still about me leaving in the first place, so he was just trying to be prepared and ready for it when I did it, again. To tell the truth, I was tired of running. I had done enough. I lost two husbands, a good friend, a son, and my heart all before my twenty-seventh birthday. Running was no longer an option for me. I had to live my life, regardless of what God threw at me. I couldn’t blame anyone else for my pain now but myself.
“Did everything go well at the bank today, Eli?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, “Mister Wade wanted you to know that the accounts in San Francisco and Santa Fe were closed and the money deposited here. He is still waiting on the money from the bank in Junction City, though. He also said something about the paperwork about the BJ Ranch was finalized and settled just as you had asked.”
“Good.”
“Ma’am, none of my business, but where is the BJ?” he asked.
“It is the old Hewlett place, the twenty acres just east of the Circle B. It is a nice little stretch that should make a good bit of money for a small time rancher,” I said.
“Well, that’s good, Misses Bradley. I’ll send Curly and Charlie down tomorrow to start staking it off for the cattle and horses. I think that they’d like a new bit of pasture,” he added.
“No, need to do that, Eli. This place is only partly mine,” I stated.
“Only part yours?” he inquired.
“Yep, the other half is yours. I owe you that much. I was going to do it for your brother Thomas, but that didn’t work out the way I wanted, so….It is yours. You deserve it for keeping the ranch running anyway,” I added.
“But—“ he started.
“No buts. The BJ will be yours. I am supplying the cattle and horses to get her started, but the rest is up to you, Eli. The Bradley James Ranch is going to be yours to deal with. It will be your cattle next year at the round up to sell. All I ask in return is that you stay on with me until you’ve earned enough to run it on your own,” I told him.
“What if I decide to sell it to you, ma’am?” he questioned.
“Why would you do that?” I asked.
“I ain’t got no head for business and the like, just horses, mules, and cattle. I wouldn’t know what to do with a ranch,” he answered.
“Which is why the BJ is part mine, Eli. I am going to help you. The BJ will just be a small bit, a part of the Circle B, but it will be yours to run,” I said.
“I don’t believe it. Twenty acres! Wow, ma’am, I am not sure I know how to th
ank you,” he started, “But, I am going to try to make you proud.”
“I know you will, Eli, I know you will. We’ll look at some of the young ‘uns tomorrow and pick some to start your stock. Plus, I’ll need to supply you some adults to speed thing along,” I told him.
“Ma’am, where’s I going to get the money to build the fences, barns and the like?”
“From your wages here on the Circle B, I’ll front it to you,” I said.
He came running over towards me. He picked me up and swung me around before I knew what to do. He was shouting all kinds of happiness and he had me spinning in the air. Who would have thought that would make his day? He set me down and kissed me on the mouth. It was a friendly kiss, we both knew it, but I was glad to see him happy. I knew that he would do a good job with the ranch.
The snow had melted and left good water for the cattle and horses in the northern pasture. I told Eli that we would move them there for a while to fatten them up for the round up. He agreed and strode off to give the orders.
I stood there on the back veranda of the main house overlooking the south pasture. The breeze felt good and oddly familiar. I could smell the rain coming from the west, hours off, but still threatening. The scents of leather, horse, hay, and prairie filled the air. It was good to be home. It was time to get back to work.
*****
I cracked my whip. It sent the cattle turning in the direction that I wanted. Curly kept them moving. There were so many this year. I couldn’t decide how many I wanted to sell at the round up.
I was glad to be back on horseback, even if it was on Lavender and not Scout. I couldn’t mope about it forever. I decided to let it go. I couldn’t lay around waiting for Rayne to come to me. I wouldn’t go to her either. I had been the one in the wrong. It wouldn’t do for me to go back to her ranch to try and see her.
“Watch the calves, Curly!” I called out.
He turned his attention to the young ones scurrying around behind him. He cracked his whip and chased them back into the main body of the herd. The cattle weren’t happy about moving pastures, but then I didn’t care. Whips were cracking left and right, driving them through the west pastures, down the valley that fed the creek of the north pasture. I knew they would be better off there.
“Keep ‘em moving, boys!” I shouted.
I was only glad that the boys didn’t mind having me as a ranch boss. They all just smiled every morning as I came out of the house and mounted Lavender. They all just laughed at first, until I started barking orders. Then, they knew that their Misses Bradley had returned to the ranch. They all took to it gracefully. No one really had a problem with it and those that did, were paid and dismissed. I wouldn’t have a mutiny for any reason on my ranch. I nearly lost it once. I wasn’t going to do it, again. The Circle B was mine and damn it, it was going to stay that way, as long as I could muster enough strength.
Big Mike, Curly, and Emilio had been running the cattle most of the week, but I was tired of being at the house. Eli stayed back, looking into the price of things that he would need to start his own stock. They were all just happy to be working.
Eli may have thought I was dumb, but I knew about the saloon girl in town that had caught his eye. She was a beauty with red hair, freckles, and the greenest eyes, just like Rayne.
Rayne…oh, how I missed her. I could still smell her, taste her, and see her with me. I could only hope that she would come back to me…one day.
*****
“Everything’s good to go, ma’am,” Big Mike told me.
“We’ll be leaving in the morning. You’re sure you’ll be okay here with just Eli and his crew?” Curly asked me, again, for the fifteenth time.
“Yes, boys, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me, Curly, I’ll still be here when you get back. I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon. So you can calm down,” I said. “Just do me a favor and make good deals on those cattle. That’s your paycheck boys, don’t forget it.”
I knew that they could handle themselves, but I still liked to give them a hard time. They knew it, too. They had been making money for the Circle B hand over fist while I was gone and they didn’t see the need to stop now.
“You boys take care, now,” I told them, as they headed to the bunk house, “And, all of you, make sure to come back for me, you hear me.”
“Yes’m,” Curly answered me.
“Si,” Emilio replied.
“I’ll make sure of it,” Big Mike told me.
“Good. Now good-night, boys,” I said.
I was tired. It had been a long day. The selection process had taken longer that I wanted, so I had to forgo my daily ride on Lavender. I was just happy to be on a horse again, for as long as my body would allow. I was free. I was well. I had my ranch. I should have been happy, but I missed Rayne.
I walked back into the main house. I went straight to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine. It was the wine I had come to know as a child, drank again in California with Tommy, and that Eli sent to New York just for me to have a case. It was rich and it tasted good.
I went upstairs and stood on the balcony outside my room. I could see out into the pastures and watched the horses graze. The moon wasn’t quite up yet, and the sun had barely set. The men were in their bunks sleeping for the work ahead and I stood looking into the unknown, wondering what the future would hold.
I leaned over the rail, holding my glass in my hand. I must have been a sight with my windblown hair, pulled back and tied off. The jeans I was wearing were caked in God knows what and I’m sure that I didn’t want to know. My shirt was dirty from dust and sweat, unbuttoned so that the thin undershirt shown clearly beneath it. I quickly ripped off the shirt and threw it back in my room. Like I said, I must have been a sight, just standing there, drinking my wine.
A breeze was blowing through the prairie that night, cool and crisp. I could smell the faintness of grasses beyond my ranch. I could smell the rains that passed through the countryside. This is what I cherished. This is what I loved. I was alone, but I have everything I had every wished for, except someone one to love.
I guess it was my fate to be alone. I had two husbands taken from me and my still-borne son. I had lost a good friend. I had lied to the one person I had actually come to love in the harshness of the West. Maybe I should just be happy with what I had and not wish for something more, but it just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t deal with it. I wanted more. It was my nature. I always wanted something more. Maybe, just maybe, there was something out there that could be what I needed and I would stop wanting. I could only hope.
Before I ended what had become my nightly routine, I could have sworn I smelled Rayne’s rose and lilac soap on the wind. I shook my head in disbelief. My dreams of her were bad enough, now my sense were going, too. I would talk to Eli in the morning. Hopefully, I would come to my senses or I would throw myself into the ranch. That way, I would be too tired to dream or even think of her.
“Rayne, oh, how I miss you,” I whispered to the wind.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Rayne, The Double Bar Ranch, February, 1874
After everything that had happened in Amarillo, I sought the confines of my own ranch. I wanted to solitude. It wanted to be alone.
Reece had lied to me. He/she had been in my life for around a year. He never found the time to tell me. He shared my bed. And, when injured, he called out for another. I was furious. I was disappointed. I was hurt.
How could he lie to me? How could he look at me the way he did? Why did he touch me? Is that the reason he never me touch him? What did he want? What was he trying to prove? How did I let it all happen?
I have so many questions and not enough answers.
I walked around the Double Bar in my long dresses and bonnets, trying to convince myself that I was wrong, that I didn’t see what I saw in that doctor’s office. I refused to wear any of Silas’ clothes. I wouldn’t ride to check on the herds. I let Jed do everything. Once or twi
ce they called the doctor to come and see me, only to get a clear bill of health. I was thankful for their worry, but it didn’t matter.
I was hurt. My heart bled and I couldn’t fix it. It was all because of Reece and I was afraid. It was like Reece died on that doctor’s table and a woman named Teresa was born. It couldn’t be true.
I mean, if he was a she and she loved me, she’d come back for me. She would have sent word. She would have made some sort of gesture. She wouldn’t have left me to wonder, would she?
I was sick. I was tired. I wanted answers. I always get what I want.
“Juan!!!” I called.
“Yes’m, what can I do for you?” he asked.
“I want to know whatever you can find out about Teresa Bradley of the Circle B Ranch, in Amarillo, got me? And, don’t tell Jed, just ask around, got me, Juan?” I questioned him.
“Si, senorita, I look into it for you,” he answered.
I reached into my dress pocket and handed him a hundred dollars.
“This is for your quietness and troubles,” I told him.
He took the money, nodded and walked off.
I went back to my parlor and pulled out my copy of Shakespeare’s Sonnets. The dog-eared pages stared blankly back at me and all I could think about was Reece standing there late at night reading them to me. In fact, all I could think about was Reece.
Everywhere I turned I saw him. I saw him in the pastures when I went riding. I saw him in town pulling a buck board wagon of supplies. I saw him in the flats looking down the train tracks.
I stood on the back porch looking out into the unknown.
“REECE!!!” I screamed.
Nothing answered me.
“WHY?!?” I questioned the moon hanging in the sky, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I leaned back in to the siding of the house. My eyes were filling with tears. I slumped down and hugged my knees with my arms. I cried. I sobbed. I could actually feel my heart breaking. I stayed there leaned up against the house, feeling sorry for myself, most of the night. Occasionally, I would wake and then I would start crying again. It wasn’t until I heard the guys getting ready to ride out for work the next morning that I crawled in my house and into bed.
