by Jet MacLeod
I looked up at her to find her smiling down at me. She reached for me, beckoning me to come back to her. I was hers and she was mine, there was no denying it, now. We loved each other and damn anyone who tried to hurt us now. We found each other in the night and we weren’t letting go.
The dreams were intense the night before. I was, feeling spent and utterly beautiful, lying there naked. I could still smell her scent on me. I ran my hand down my belly to the sweetness that waited at the apex of my thighs. I was horribly wet. I wanted to come again. I wanted Rayne inside me, on top of me, underneath me. Oh, I really didn’t care where she was as long as it was in my arms. I wanted to kiss that smirk off her face.
I wondered why she looked so smug after what we had done. I bet she never knew it could be like that. Hell, I know that I didn’t. After two husbands, she was the answer to all I had ever wanted in my bed. She and I both knew where to touch, to kiss, to rub, and to scratch the itch that we both so desperately wanted to scratch. It was all too real.
I wanted to make her feel the way that she had made me feel. No one had ever made me feel that way. She knew just what to do, what I wanted, what I needed. I let her take to me heights that I had never achieved with my husbands. She knew how to play my body, to make it respond to her.
I was lost and I knew it. I wanted her so badly that I had been dreaming of her. It couldn’t have been real. I knew that she hated me. It was wishful thinking. It wasn’t a morning after that I wanted, I wanted her, always.
I awoke in my own bed. The morning was beautiful. I sat up in the bed and shook my head. I was alone. It had all been a dream. The whole thing was nothing more than a dream, wishful thinking.
I lay there in peaceful thought. I could still remember the smell of her, the taste of her, the…. I closed my eyes, reveling in the thought of it all. I laid my hand across the pillows and the bed, wishing for it to be true. They were both still warm.
That is when she decided to come in, the bottle of wine hanging in one hand and another glass in the other. She had a perfectly obscene smile on her face. I was lost.
“Wine?” she asked me, shaking the bottle at an angel in front of my face.
“Is that my shirt?” I asked her, commenting on how she was dressed.
“I was cold and it smells like you,” she replied.
“Looks good on you, especially if there is nothing underneath it,” I responded, “Now, come here.”
“Only if you want wine,” she mused.
“Sure thing,” I said, coming around on the bed, trying to grab her.
“Stop that or you don’t get any wine,” she told me.
“Wait!” I shouted, coming to my senses.
“What? I didn’t do anything,” she said.
“How long are you planning on being here?” I questioned her, as I slumped back down on the bed.
“What kind of question is that?” she countered.
“A logical one,” I answered, “How long?”
“How long do you want me here?” she asked.
“That is not the response I was going for,” I stated.
“Mmm, sorry wrong answer,” she replied.
“Rayne!!! Tell me, how long are you planning to toy with my heart? Tell me, so I can prepare myself for when you decide to walk out the door when things get hard,” I told her, as I wrapped the sheets around me.
“I said: ‘How long do you want me here?’ That as my answer. You didn’t tell me,” she explained.
“Ugh,” I said.
“What?” she questioned.
“I don’t have time for your games, Rayne. I am not some little ranch boy that you can drag around by the heart strings. I want an honest answer,” I demanded.
“I would think my being here was an honest answer,” she replied.
I reached for my pants and put them on. As I was buckling my buckle, I said her name exasperatedly.
“Do you still love me?” she asked me.
I stood straight up. A shiver ran down my spine.
“Love you?” I said, turning on her, a carnal grin sweeping across my face, “Woman, loving you is the only thing I have ever done since I saw you at your ranch that day. It has become the bane of my existence. It is the one thing that I wish I could stop doing because of the agony it has caused and still causes my heart.
“So to answer your question, yes, I still love you, Rayne. God help me, I do love you,” I stated.
She blinked. She placed the wine on the bed side table and came over to me. Her eyes were full of tears.
“That is all I wanted to know,” she said, quietly.
She then began to undress out of my clothes and redress in her own. I didn’t know what had just happened. I sat there dumbly, confused. She picked up the bottle of wine.
She then repeated the words of Eli, from the night before, “I’ve seen too many people go looking for something at the end of a bottle.”
“What are you talking about?” I inquired.
“You want to drown you sorrow in a bottle, go ahead, I’ll not stop you. And, I’ll not stop you from hating me. But, I will not stand here and let you abuse me the way you are with your words. I will not stand for that,” she said, throwing the bottle at me.
I grabbed it before it hit me and replaced it on the bed side table. I walked over to her, unsure of what I was going to do. I knew I wanted to do something, though.
“Rayne, I haven’t abused you,” I said, “You are the one that had misused me.”
“I did no such thing,” she replied.
“Stringing me on for months, allowing me to love you and share your body, making me think things, and then when things weren’t exactly how you wanted it, you leave me, dying on a doctor’s bed. You might as well have taken my heart with you and let me die right there,” I said.
“For a while, I wished you had for lying to me,” she replied, “ Juan and I both agreed that the MAN I fell in love with, the MAN who saved my life, the MAN named Reece died on the prairie. I didn’t know the woman that was lying on that bed. So, don’t go talking to me about misuse.”
I cocked an eyebrow in response. I didn’t know what to say to her. Could she ever understand what I went through? Could she ever understand why I had done what I had done? Could she ever forgive me?
“You never once told me. I didn’t know. I let you touch me and you never once told me. What did you think I was going to do when I found out that you were a woman, Reece, sit there and cuddle with you,” she continued.
She was pissed. She had reason to be. I needed to do something to try and right this. I need to make her understand why I did what I did. I needed…her, no matter what. I needed her.
“I don’t know. Maybe that is why I didn’t tell you. I was afraid to tell you. I was afraid of what you might do or say. I don’t know,” I stammered.
“You never gave me the chance,” she stated.
“I am sorry,” I said.
“Well, then,” she said and the asked me, “Will you answer my question?”
“You mean, how long?” I questioned in response.
“Yes, how long do you want me?” she probed.
“Forever, I want you for forever,” I said.
“Good,” she replied.
“Huh? What do you mean?” I asked. I wasn’t ready for her to agree with me. I thought she wanted to fight some more or something.
“I said: ‘Good.’ Well, because, I sold the Double Bar,” she told me.
“You sold your ranch? Why?” I wondered.
“Because, I love you. I couldn’t think of anything else. I had to be with you. I didn’t want it anymore without you there with it,” she explained.
It was all I needed to know. I crossed over towards her in a few quick strides and gathered her up in my arms. I kissed that woman like my life depended on it.
“I am glad you approve,” she said.
“Oh, I approve, but wait, what are you going to do? Where will you stay?” I asked.
“Explain, please,” I stated.
“You want me for forever, right?” she asked.
“Yes,” I stated, with a little hint of attitude.
“You asked how long I was going to stay.”
“Right,” I said, starting to get agitated.
“Well, if you want me for forever, then I guess that I will have to stay here for forever, won’t I?” she asked.
My head shot up. I got what she was saying. She was leaving it up to me. If I wanted her, then she was mine. It couldn’t be that simple, nothing ever is.
“That simple?” I asked.
“If you want it, then yes,” she replied.
“No games,” I asked.
“No games,” she said.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said.
“Then don’t, say anything. Just kiss me,” she stated.
“That won’t be a problem,” I answered.
“One more thing, darling,” she said.
“Yes, what’s that?” I asked.
“You need a haircut,” she stated.
We both started laughing.
“I guess I do, don’t I, Miss Rayne?” I quipped.
“Yes, Reece, you do. You’re getting a little shaggy.”
I pulled her into me, again. I kissed her again. I knew that everything was going to be okay, now. Everything was going to be fantastic.
Epilogue
Rayne, The Circle B Ranch, 1879
“Reece, are Eli and Juan coming to the ranch for the barbecue?”
“Last I heard,” Reece told me.
I couldn’t get over how beautiful she was. We were in the storehouse making sure that we had everything for the annual after “Round Up” festivities. Reece had agreed to stay home this year and stay with me. It was a nice change.
“Love?”
“Yes, Reece?” I called back from the other side of the building.
“Do you think that we did the right thing with Silas?”
I immediately crossed the store room to her. She was worried. I was worried, too, but he was a growing boy. He needed to be with the boys. He needed to learn on the trail. “I am sure he is fine. You know that Eli and Juan aren’t going to let anything happen to that boy. They think of him like a son, just like we do,” I told her.
“But, he is your son, now,” Reece replied.
“As much as he is yours,” I stated.
“But, he calls you ‘Ma,’ and he still calls me ‘Reece.’” “Is this what this is about?”
“No,” Reece started, “But, yes. He looks at me like I’m his Pa. I don’t know what I’m going to do if he starts calling me ‘Pa.’ I’m not his Pa. I can’t…I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“We’ll deal with it when that time comes. He is a growin’ boy and he is just trying to figure life out. He’s questioning everything. He’ll be goin’ out on his own soon and he’ll want your blessin’ most of all,” I explained. “I can do that,” she replied.
“Then don’t worry about the rest. Just remember that you are a rancher and a horseman, and damn fine one at that. He is already thinking big. He has plans for the BJ, you know?” I explained.
“Does he, now?” Reece asked
“Come on, let’s go. I’ll send Curly to town for the rest of the supplies we need. You and Silas can talk about the BJ when he gets back. Everything will work out, you’ll see,” I stated, taking her by the arm and pulling her out of the store room.
“Where we going, love?” Reece asked me.
“Home, Reece, it’s time to go, home.”
“I love you, Rayne Whittacre.”
“I love you, too, Reece Bradley.”
We shared an intense kiss. I am still surprised by her love and never ceasing want of me. She is my everything. I can only hope that I am hers. Her every touch tells me how much she loves me every day. I doubt that I’ll ever get tired of her kisses or her touch.
“How old is that boy, now?”
“Going on seventeen, I believe,” I stated.
“He still seeing Jasper’s daughter. Oh, what is her name? Victoria? Julia?” she pondered.
“Sally?”
“Yup, that’s the one. He still courting Sally? Should I be worried? Do I need to have a talk with him?” Reece asked.
“I am pretty sure that Eli and Juan have already beaten you to it. Besides, he is good kid and he learned his manners. If he was going to do something, I’m sure that he would have told you by now. Besides, Jasper loves the boy. We don’t have anything to worry about,” I assured him.
“Yet,” she added.
“Calm down, Reece. Look,” I told her. “Here he comes. You can ask him yourself?”
“Hey, ya, Ma, Reece,” Silas said meeting us.
“Hey, boy,” Reece replied.
“Ma, I got a question for ya,” he told me.
“Go ahead and ask it, Silas.”
“I was wondering…well…could I invite Sally to the party. You know, if that is okay with you? I sure would like it,” Silas said.
“Sure, Silas, go ahead and invite the whole family.”
“Thanks, Ma.”
“Now go on and wash up. Dinner will be done soon, I’m sure. And, we all know how Curly gets if we are late,” I told them.
Silas ran back to the house, whooping and hollering like he just won the blue ribbon at the county fair. Reece stared at me with a cocked smile on his face. I simply smiled back.
“Be careful, Miss Rayne,” she told me.
“And, why should I, Reece?”
“I think that boy has marriage on his brain.”
I stopped walking. Reece stopped, too, and laughed. She took my hand, lifted it to her mouth and kissed the back of it. She held my hand as she pulled me into the house.
“Marriage?” she asked.
“Don’t worry, Rayne. I’ve made arrangements just in case. I’ll talk with the boy after dinner. If he is planning to ask Sally, then we’ll deal with it when the time comes.”
“Preparations? Arrangements? Marriage? He ain’t old enough. He ain’t got nothing to give her,” I stated.
“Oh, yes, he does. You may not have anything to give him, but I do. Jasper and I have been talking. He approves of the match. As I know that you do, too, and I have been planning for this day for a couple months. Jasper owns a bit of land south of us. He’s agreed to sell it to me.”
“You haven’t told me any of this because…”
“I knew that you would get upset and go all protective mother on the boy. I was trying to protect us all. I know that you want him to go back East to school. I’ve been getting things together for him.”
“College? A plot of land? What else haven’t you told me?” I demanded.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.” I said.
“Come on, it’s time for dinner,” she told me.
“We aren’t done with this,” I stated.
Reece started laughing harder.
“Come now, love,” she stated, “Dinner’s waiting.”
“I know. It’ll keep. Silas may be getting married and you want to eat?”
“I am very hungry,” Reece answered, quickly.
“Reece! This isn’t a time to be smart. That boy is almost a man. And…and you are doing nothing about it.”
“No, darling, I am helping him become the man that you and Cooper wanted him to be,” she answered.
“But I-“
“You aren’t ready for him to be a man, I know. I love you so much and so does Silas. That is why he calls you ‘Ma.’ And, it is another reason that I already bought the plot from Jasper. Eli has had Silas and Juan down there building another barn and store house.”
“But he-“
“We all came to an agreement. He would have to build his own house. We’ll help him of course.”
“Bu
t what about-“
“College? That boy is a rancher and there isn’t any way he is going to make back East. He don’t know anything about ‘city living.’ Face it, Rayne, Silas isn’t a boy anymore.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too. Now, can we go eat? I’m starving.”
“Only if you promise to let me give him the new ranch,” I told him.
“Of course, love, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
About the Author
JET MacLeod is a South Carolina native, born and raised. She is also a graduate of the University of South Carolina with a degree in English. She is proud to say that she served our wonderful country in the Army for over six years and was deployed for Operation: Enduring Freedom. A Gold Award Girl Scout and Black Belt in the TAI Karate System, she is proud to say that she has done more in her thirty plus years than some have done in fifty.
Never being one to follow traditions very well, she and her partner got married in Atlanta at Pride on Halloween, by a Rabbi. They currently reside in the Capital Metro Area and are readjusting to “City.” When she doesn’t have a book in her hands, she is furiously working on her next work.
Be sure to look out for her next work in her “Rainbow Cove Series” Twin Embers.
She can be reached at [email protected].
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[1] Sonnet 18 of William Shakespeare’s Sonnets. Copied from Wikipedia Online.
[2] Sonnet 25 by William Shakespeare, copied from http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com.
[3] This is the entire Thirty-first sonnet as read by Rayne and Reece. I have taken this version of the sonnet from The Norton Shakespeare: Based on the Oxford Edition, by Greenblatt, et al. It can be found on page 1933 of the 1997 edition.
