by Anna Widzisz
She breathed out, thinking of what to answer. She didn't know if she was ready to venture in a deep conversation with Elio. Up until this point, it had been rather a fun time. Not counting the night of Hunter's death. But even then they talk about the past and their experiences.
One thing they knew - they’d both survived their own personal hell.
"I was thinking about my parents and about you."
His hand moved to her cheek, stroking it.
"You never told me what happened to them. Why you're the only one to raise Aiden," he realized.
She sat up. This conversation wasn't something she could handle while looking Elio in the eyes. The moment she had to explain the same thing to her brother flashed to her mind. It was the toughest conversation she'd ever had. Because how can you tell a young boy that his parents simply didn't want to be parents?
"They just left. Dad after years and years of drinking, fighting with my mom and hitting me. And mom was probably done picturing a perfect family that could withstand difficulties. She preferred partying and everyone knew that. I was the one to stay with Aiden most nights anyway, so she just packed her bags and left."
Now, she felt more anger than anything else. She didn't want to overthink it. Wherever her parents were right now and if they were even alive, she couldn't care less. They’d done enough damage already. She wouldn’t allow more.
Elio watched her but didn't say anything.
"I held onto the idea of my parents for a long time. Even if they couldn't love me. I tried to convince myself that the circumstances will change. That if I loved harder, if I gave more, the situation would evolve. The value of my love would be recognized." She paused, sighing. There were tears in her eyes as she remembered herself as a child. Always courting for affection, making excuses for each bruise she got. "Then I felt like I had to. I felt like I had to be the one to fix, to mend. The one who proved that people don't give up on each other."
"Weak people give up," whispered Elio.
"No," she shook her head. "Broken people do."
The mattress dipped underneath her as she felt Elio's torso pressed flat against her back. His fast heartbeat almost palpable while his breath was swathing her unnerved body. No matter how many times she said she didn't care, there would always be a piece of her that proved her wrong. She wasn't meant to hate and never forgive. She wasn't wired that way and couldn't imagine a scenario with a different outcome. That was why she wished that her parents would never come back. Her heart couldn't handle it and it wouldn't be good for Aiden to place him in a toxic relationship with people who barely remembered him. But she wouldn't deny that possibility. She wasn't strong enough for that. Elio was mistaken in that regard.
"Everyone is broken one way or another, Savannah. We choose whether we want our experiences to rule our world or push them as far away as possible in our minds," he said against her skin.
The heat radiating from his soft touch on her hips made it very hard to think. He was the person who could make her forget without a doubt.
"Why have you changed your mind?"
He tensed. He knew exactly what she meant. The problem was that he wasn't certain if his answer would be true. At least not fully.
"I wanted to fuck you," he stated, not beating around the bush.
Savannah turned her head, dumbfounded. Yet she couldn't put a finger on whether she was surprised by his words or his intentions. She knew he was a Made Man and without knowing much about her there could barely be any reason for his interest other than sex.
She squeezed her thighs together. She’d given him a lot already and if he was truthful with her now, she might not want to give even more.
He smiled lightly, recognizing her dread. "It's all a bit tragic, isn't it?"
"What is?"
"That it's not the most crucial thing anymore." He held her tighter, kissing her nose like some kind of assurance. It didn't set her mind at ease. "If you thought that I would say it's not something I think about, then I need to disappoint you. I'm not a good man and I do want to fuck you constantly."
Her cheeks flushed. But the itch between her legs betrayed her true feelings. How could his dirty mouth turn her on so badly?
"I started respecting you. That's why I couldn't go through with my plan. On top of the fact that you handle a much bigger responsibility than I'd ever consider. I can be a huge asshole sometimes, but I wouldn't degrade you for something I once wished my mother would be capable of doing."
"You are," she whispered, snuggling up in Elio's embrace, "an asshole, I mean."
Elio chuckled. "Glad we're on the same page."
"Did your mother leave you?"
He shook his head. "Not in a literal sense. But she's weak and my father feeds on her weaknesses; she isn't able to put her foot down. She just exists but never meddles in how I and my brother are treated. We walked around with busted lips, bruises and cuts from the youngest of ages and she just turned her head the other way."
His words were detached as if he felt nothing anymore, thinking about it. He rejected all the perspectives that Savannah would never be able to forget.
Turned out their pasts weren't all that different.
She sighed and turned around, sitting with her legs under her butt. Her eyes finally meeting his. "I don't want to get hurt, Elio."
Her pulse quickened under his scrutinizing gaze. It felt like waiting on a sentence in court. One that would change her life once and for all, without going back.
She wondered why she still believed she had a choice in the matter. Whatever he was to say wouldn't change a thing. She still wanted him. And he still wanted her. Stopping was no longer an option to consider. She should rather think about how to survive it all.
He leaned in, only a few inches from her lips. His minty breath tantalizing. "The last thing I want is to hurt you. But it's all fucking new to me, too. I am not used to spending time with girls without getting something in return."
"Haven't you ever been in a relationship?" she asked.
Elio had to stifle a laugh because of Savannah's ignorance. He didn't want to tell her straight to her face that girls were only good for sucking cock and a decent fuck. At least, that's what he'd believed until recently. She didn't have to overthink whether it was how he saw her, too. Because it wasn’t.
Instead, he denied it. "I never saw the appeal."
Savannah glanced at the bed frame behind him, deep in her thoughts. She didn't seem enterally convinced. Rightfully so. There were things that Elio had to consider sooner or later, however, it wasn't the time for that now.
"Are you capable of being in a relationship?"
He regarded her. His hair was still messy and in the moonlight, he looked more handsome and human than she'd ever seen him. Her heart was beating fast because per usual she couldn't figure out what he was thinking about. She was so blunt with him about who she was and what she was feeling that it almost seemed like a dream. Or maybe a nightmare. It simply depended on his answer.
"I guess I'm asking you to trust me," he said "I'm not a good person by any standards and I cannot promise you that it'll change. But I want to be good to you. I want to be the guy you deserve."
Savannah had never before seen Elio look so vulnerable. That was because he wasn't supposed to be this way. His lifestyle had ensured to make him strong. And he was out of his comfort zone right in that instant, saying all the things he was feeling but never spoke out loud. And even if that might not be the proudest moment for people, they didn't know how uncommon that was in the mafia world. Savannah, herself, was still trying to come to terms with what it really meant.
He slid off the straps of her top revealing her perfect breasts. Her nipples came to life with a single blow of air. His fingers traced down her body as he slipped them beneath her shorts.
She was waiting for the tense feeling but it never came. Instead, she smiled darkly, closing her eyes to give in to the sensation that Elio's touch brought her yet again. T
hen he pushed her flat on her back.
Savannah squealed with surprise. Each time the man was somewhat gentle with her, he did something so unexpected that showed his need for dominance. He wanted to do more, harder and rougher. Even with as little experience as she had, she could see that.
He pressed his erection to her stomach as his lips crashed against hers; their teeth clashing. But he didn't care and bit her tongue lightly before doing the same with her bottom lip, a little bit harder. His hands dug into the skin on her thighs, hard enough to most likely leave marks.
"You are mine, baby girl," he grunted as he slid one finger in her pussy.
"Yours."
Chapter Twenty-Nine
For the first time in a while, Savannah came home from work earlier. Ever since Hunter had been replaced, she had more hours during her shifts because of the changes he’d made in the schedule. Especially since in summer they had more customers on a daily basis - regardless if it was morning, afternoon or evening.
She didn't mind the money, however, it made a huge difference in her personal life. Especially since she'd taken this rather misguided step of going to the gym where Elio trained. They kept in touch but didn't have much time to meet. And as stupid as it was, she missed his company. Now there was another person to dedicate her time and effort to.
It was almost four in the afternoon when she heated yesterday’s dinner and set it on the small kitchen table for her and Aiden. They were to spend as much time together as possible before Elio came in the evening after he was done with his meeting.
They’d fallen into a really weird routine where the man always came and stayed the night, leaving early in the morning. She went to bed next to him and woke up alone. Aiden always watched them wordlessly, however, it was clear that he didn't fully trust Elio. He didn't like him as he’d stated before.
Today the boy looked to be lost in his own space, barely acknowledging his sister. He acted as if on autopilot, which was unlike him. Savannah always tried to give him time to come to her if something was wrong. Which it most likely was. But pushing him to speak up was not the way to go. He would only close himself more. Even if she wanted to know. Parenting was still hard and she just rolled with what she thought best.
Many times she'd wondered whether there was something more she could do for him. The teachers in his kindergarten approached her about the subject of changing facilities. Aiden was advanced and they recognized it just as she did. They gave her many brochures of school that could be better suited. But they were all in different cities which would involve moving and putting the boy through a big change. As smart as he was, Savannah still wanted him to have a somewhat normal childhood rather than pushing him for more. To find a balance between being a kid and developing his talents. In moments like this, she wondered if it was the right thing to do. What if he actually needed more and she was the one scared of change.
Aiden scratched his plate moving food around without actually eating anything. His black eyes settled on the window behind Savannah. His distant gaze reflected he was mentally absent for the moment. He probably didn't even realize that he was supposed to have dinner.
Savannah waited, glancing at him from time to time, questioning whether she was doing the right thing by not asking. She felt like she was failing miserably and with Aiden's innate distaste at talking, he might withhold whatever was troubling him. She didn't want that.
Then the boy swallowed, closing his eyes before looking directly at his sister. He pouted. "I think something, Sav," he said quietly in his broken English that reminded her that he was still just a young boy. Something she tended to forget. His voice and expression were tentative. "Do you have mental space for it now?"
That was always how he communicated if he really needed to talk. He never pushed her to listen, knowing that she had a lot on her plate as it was with work and taking care of him. This small recognition showed he was wiser beyond his years and made Savannah think that she’d done something right. He was respectful and believed his problems shouldn't always be anyone else's unless they felt like they could handle it.
She smiled warmly putting down the fork to give him all her attention. "Sure, buddy. What's going on?"
"I'm scared."
Savannah's face fell and she felt her heart getting heavy. This simple statement was one of her worse nightmares. She’d never wanted Aiden to feel like she had. No matter the reason.
"What are you scared of?"
He inclined his head. "Of you getting hurt."
At first, it completely took her aback, and she tried to figure out what he meant. Because even if Aiden sometimes talked to her, he was very reserved as far as words were concerned. The first thought that crossed her mind was that one of their parents had come back and somehow approached him without her knowledge. However, Aiden didn't remember them all that well so he wouldn't keep that information. He didn't even know how they looked like so if a stranger came up to him, he would run away just as she’d taught him.
And then it hit her.
Elio.
"He's bad," he added.
Savannah didn't know whether to laugh or cry because Aiden was literally on the same page as her. She was terrified by the prospect of getting hurt by the man. Not really in a physical way because he’d never come across as violent to her outside of the bedroom. And even then he’d held back on pressuring her to have sex. She’d waited with that for some reason.
Her brother needed some kind of reassurance that his feelings were misplaced when it came to Elio Conte but she didn't want to lie. And denying would feel like doing so.
She pushed her chair, gesturing for the boy to come to her. As he reached her, she pulled him into her lap, hugging him tightly. A tear fell down her cheek.
"I'm trying to protect my heart. I really am," she said.
Aiden nodded. "I know. But is he?"
Was he? He said he wanted to be good to her and never push her further than she was ready to go. They never stated that they were officially in a relationship but their interactions felt like it. But if it came down to it, would he think of her and protect her heart from being shattered?
"As much as I would love to say that he is, I'm not sure it's his job to do so, buddy. I guess I need to do whatever feels good and pray that it will be enough."
There was a long silence after that. Aiden kept on looking at Savannah, clearly analyzing what she had said. Half of her decisions she couldn't really explain. Not when it came to Elio because everything concerning the man was raw and unexpected. So she gave him the next best thing - her hope that everything would turn out alright. That even if she wasn't sure what she was doing, it wouldn't bring disaster.
"Are you together?"
"I think so. We never really made it official."
Aiden smiled, curling into her chest and staying like that for a while. "I will protect your heart," he whispered.
"I know you will, buddy."
It didn't matter that he wouldn't be able to. What mattered was that he believed he could and taking that away from him would be the last thing Savannah could imagine doing. Her heart was out there already despite a constant fear of being rejected, yet Aiden always made her feel better just by being there for her. He was the reason her life had meaning and why she hadn’t turned out like their parents.
Whatever happened, she would be okay.
Chapter Thirty
More.
That simple word said in hushed whispers in-between kisses was enough to bring Elio to a state of euphoria. He’d be lying if he said he didn't long for it each time he came to Savannah's home. He wanted to fuck her brain out whenever her lips closed around his cock, or when she was laying with her back to him, pressed against his torso. However, he was perfectly fine with exploring her body through oral to help her gain more confidence. She had so much potential with the way she got turned on by sexual possibilities that Elio would have ruled out that they'd get any attention from her before.
; She kept surprising him every step of the way.
Now as he was sure that Savannah was wet he intended to use it to his advantage to explore more of what she’d like, however, her pleading words stunned him and his mindset changed immediately.
He knew exactly what she meant.
Every kiss they shared had a raw intensity - breathing fast, heartbeat faster. Then before they knew how it happened they were completely naked and their skin was moving softly together, like the finest of silk. She still could feel his hand supporting her from below moving fast, their tongues entwined in a kiss.
She moved under him letting his tip slid against her opening. She watched him with a mix of fear and surprise that he was taking his time. Anticipation hung in the air. Elio had to remind himself that he couldn't just slam into her full-on as he’d usually do because it would hurt like a fucking bitch.
He stopped and kissed her from her breasts to her stomach, his hands light; then he was once again licking and using his fingers, watching her reaction, feeling how her legs moved, observing her body writhe.
"I'm going to make you beg," he murmured in-between kisses, making her groan with annoyance but with a single flick of her nub, she had to grab the pillow laying next to her and press it over her mouth to stifle the sound threatening to escape her lips.
Elio laughed at the gesture and went back to her face, drawing the pillow away to get a good look at her red cheeks. He was caressing them while sucking her neck. A tiny wave of pain shot up.
"Everyone is going to know you're mine."
She wanted to tell him to quit playing with her. She already could imagine people seeing the hickey he was so obviously giving her and knowing that people she worked with would at once realize who she’d got it from.
Instead, she kept staring at him, trust shining in her eyes. She was breathless just through oral so keeping up with fucking would be as close to a workout as it could be. At least that's what Elio thought.
