by Deborah Carr
Alice considered the experiences they had shared and his true friendship of her since Stuart’s birth and it dawned on her that she cared for him rather more than she had imagined. He wasn’t Ed. He never would be, but couldn’t she have two loves in the course of her lifetime?
“I didn’t come here to distress you,” he said, taking her silence for upset. “Please, don’t concern yourself with what I’ve said.” He stood and walked over to the front door. “I should not have been so direct. It was wrong of me. I apologise.”
Alice followed him. “No, Jack. It’s fine.” She said, grabbing his arm to stop him. “A little startling, I’ll admit.” She stared at him, hating the thought that her reaction had humiliated him. “We shared four years where time was a valuable commodity, so I don’t take offence in you being forthright. I appreciate it.”
“That’s very generous.” He took her hand lightly in his. “May I call on you again, in a few days, when you’ve had time to consider what I’ve said?”
She realised she did want to see him again. “Please, sit down,” she said. “I just need to have a think. I’ll be right back.”
She walked up to the poppy field, lost in her own thoughts. She had enjoyed Jack’s company ever since he’d come to France and had ended up assisting with her baby’s delivery. Each time he visited he brought flowers for her, or little treats for the baby and it occurred to her that she missed him when he wasn’t at the farm and had begun confiding in him about the difficulties she experienced, or the latest thing Stuart had learnt to do.
Alice gasped. Her feelings towards Jack had grown so slowly that she hadn’t noticed. Maybe it was spending her waking hours focusing on her son. Alice thought how Jack made her laugh and how he doted on baby Stuart.
She laughed quietly, covering her mouth in surprise. She did have feelings for him. The realisation surprised her. Ed wouldn’t want her to grieve forever, she was certain of that. And as she stood in the field where they had once declared their love for each other, she could almost feel Ed now, giving her his blessing to move on with her life. He’d loved her enough to want her and Stuart to be happy, cherished and loved. Just as Jack did.
With a joy in her heart Alice ran back to the house to see Jack.
Standing at the doorway, breathless from excitement and exertion, she smiled at him.
“You’re not scowling,” he said staring at her. “So, will you? Marry me?” he asked taking her a little by surprise.
“Oh Jack. I’ve so enjoyed spending time with you these past months,” she said, honestly. “I think I am even beginning to love you a little, but—”
“Don’t say ‘but’,” he said, putting his finger up to her lips. “I know I’ll never be Ed. I saw for myself how much you loved him and how his death almost destroyed you. I can’t and won’t try to be like him. I am my own man and now I want you for my wife.”
Was she ready to move on, she wondered? He was good and kind and, if she was honest, she did suspect that she was already falling in love with him. Was it a betrayal of what she and Ed had shared to love another man now?”
“Stuart deserves a family,” he added. “You deserve a future. I love you enough for both of us.”
“I’m not sure if I’m ready for marriage, but I do love you, Jack,” she admitted.
His eyes widened. “You do?”
Alice’s heart swelled to see how delighted this news meant to him. “Yes. How could I not love you? You’re handsome, clever, brave and the dearest friend to me.”
He took her hand in his. “You don’t need to give me an answer to my proposal yet,” he said. “Think about it though, will you?”
“Yes,” she said, standing on tiptoes and kissing him on his cheek. “And thank you, Jack.”
“What for?”
“There are many men who wouldn’t consider marrying a woman with someone else’s child. If I agree to marry you, it’s because I want a future with you, not because I feel the need to be married. You must understand that. I’ve survived perfectly well by myself and will continue to do so, married or not.”
He shook his head. “I’m fully aware of your independence,” he said, the love in his eyes obvious. “And I love you more for it. I don’t think you need to be married, but I hope that you want to be, to me. I’d be proud to call you my wife and would love nothing more than to have a future with you and Stuart.”
That night, Alice sat on her bed, her baby snoring peacefully next to her. She knew as soon as Jack proposed to her that she would accept. In her heart she knew she loved him, too. But she couldn’t deceive him, not even with Ed. It was time to move on.
Taking her poppy brooch from her bedside drawer, she pinned it on to her nightdress and stood in front of the mirror. This would be the last time she wore it. She undid the clasp and took it off, then lifting the loose floorboard near the foot of her bed, carefully placed the brooch into the small cavity and replaced the floorboard. It would be near her always, as would her love for Ed.
The following morning, she fed Stuart and led him up to the poppy field. Then taking a piece of paper and pen, she sat down to write one final letter.
My darling Ed,
I am sitting watching our son laughing and playing with the poppies in our field. He’s a happy little boy and soon he will be running through this beautiful place without a care in the world. It shocks me on occasion how similar his milk chocolate-coloured eyes are to yours and I tell him constantly about his brave Papa and how he would have loved him. We each have a picture of you in a silver frame by our bedsides.
Earlier today, Stuart and I scattered more poppy seeds from the dried flowers I picked last autumn. This year there are blue cornflowers dotted throughout the scarlet poppy heads, too. At first, I was unsure whether I liked them, but now I see how pretty they are and that their contrasting colour does not detract from the beauty of our poppies.
My precious love, I’m writing this letter to tell you that I am to be married. You will always be my first love, and the father of our boy. It is important for me to let you know that.
You remember Doctor Sullivan, the serious but kind doctor who saved so many lives? Most importantly to me, he saved yours and gave us the chance of happiness together, however short-lived it ended up being.
He helped bring our baby into the world and we became close. He is aware of my love for you but has asked me to marry him. I have to be honest and tell you that I find myself falling in love with him, too. I know you would want me to be happy.
Therefore, my love, I am going to attempt to stop writing these letters to you. It’s unfair to Jack. I will keep them always, but I will attempt to hide them somewhere only I can ever find them.
I love you. I will always love you and will never completely recover from losing you. I am, though, determined to make the best of my future with our son and now Jack. So, my darling, I must say goodbye, at least for now. I will hold you in my heart always, but it is time to let you go and rest in peace.
Until I am with you again,
My love, always,
Alice X
Acknowledgements
Heartfelt thanks to everyone at HarperCollins and the fantastic team at HarperImpulse, especially Charlotte Ledger for giving me this opportunity and for your structural edits and generous guidance, it’s been a wonderful experience working with you. Also, thanks to Emily Ruston for your excellent line edits and Laura Bevis for proofreading this book.
To my writer friends, especially Christina Jones and my fellow Blonde Plotters, Kelly Clayton and Gwyn GB for your encouragement; also, my non-writer friends for your support and for continuing to read and review my books, thank you.
To my family who have always encouraged me to follow my dreams - publication of The Poppy Field is the realisation of a very, very big dream, as you all know.
About the Author
Deborah Carr lives on the island of Jersey in the Channel Islands with her husband, two children and three rescue dogs. She became intereste
d in books set in WW1 when researching her great-grandfather’s time as a cavalryman in the 17th 21st Lancers.
She is part of ‘The Blonde Plotters’ writing group and was Deputy Editor on the online review site, Novelicious.com. Her debut historical romance, Broken Faces, is set in WW1 and was runner-up in the 2012 Good Housekeeping Novel Writing Competition and given a ‘special commendation’ in the Harry Bowling Prize that year. The Poppy Field is her second historical novel.
@DebsCarr
www.facebook.com/DeborahCarrAuthor/
www.deborahcarr.org
About HarperImpulse
HarperImpulse is an innovative, award-winning digital imprint. In the five years since launch, we have continually hit digital bestseller lists, hosted the UK’s first online romance festival, published into over ten countries and grown an exciting stable of commercial women’s fiction authors.
Readers, come and say hi to the team and your next read…
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Writers, our vision is to publish the very best in digital-first commercial women’s fiction and we are simply looking for good stories! So, what are you waiting for? To submit, e-mail us at [email protected].
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