And the guilt.
For Hazin had been busy making plans.
But he did not want to examine guilt now, for rather than speak their mouths met in a sleepy kiss.
There was just a whisper of resistance in him, for he wanted a clean slate, a clear head before he lost himself, but that whisper faded in the melding of their mouths.
Softly and slowly Hazin kissed her, his large hand lightly stroking her bare arm.
His calf came over her and she felt its heavy weight hook her in as they drank the intoxicating lust from each other’s mouths.
Hazin’s hand moved from her arm and stroked her waist, shooting arrows of desire to her centre. It was such an unhurried kiss yet it was the most sensual of her life.
Hazin had not brought her to his bed for this, yet there was no thought process now, just the sensation of being lost in a kiss.
Sometimes it had felt as if they’d been playing a game of cat and mouse, but not now.
Desire wrapped them closer. She opened her eyes to his and his gaze awaited her, and suddenly Flo remembered the first night they had met.
That moment when their souls had locked had felt the same as this, only this was deeper and this time they did not hide from it, or look away.
She was burning at his kiss and his touch, wrapped so tightly in his embrace. Flo freed her leg so that she could move it over his thigh, thus opening herself to him, for she had to have him inside, right now.
Her hand stretched down and felt him, hard and strong and ready. Hazin’s hand encircled hers, and together they stroked him until they could bear it no longer. She guided him there but one of them at least was sensible, and his hand released hers as he went to reach for a condom.
‘I’m on the Pill, Hazin.’
Those were words Flo had never said before, but to break contact now would feel criminal.
They were words that Hazin had always ignored.
Until now.
Hazin entered her slowly, relishing the feel of her tight, warm grip and he swallowed her sigh of pleasure.
Utter pleasure as he stretched her completely and their mouths met again. There was a delicious daze at his tenderness as they moved together, slow and unhurried.
Those strong arms were Flo’s to explore tonight and she felt the silky skin that sheathed his muscles, while his tongue stroked hers in enticing circles. The heat they made could surely light the dark desert sky.
He rolled her onto her back and kissed her in a way Flo had not known existed until now. She found out first-hand how that rough, unshaven face felt when it rubbed against her soft skin.
He took her hands and held them over her head, their fingers laced.
Her legs wrapped around him and Flo arched into him. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he was making love to her.
Hazin was drowning in the intimate embrace of her and he swallowed down the soft moans that came from her throat.
He freed her hands so she could explore his face, and he drew up on his hands so he could watch her and kiss her. He took her in rapid, measured thrusts that had her grit her jaw together at times and had her stretch up for a kiss at others.
Hazin took her harder, holding nothing back. He watched as she helplessly grasped at pillows to anchor herself, then give in to the absolute force of his thrust. He felt her climax gather and the zip of tension in her made his stomach lift.
The room felt like a vacuum that sucked the air from him as he shot into her. He released with a breathless shout, and this was how it should be, Hazin knew.
This, he thought as he felt her release beneath him and revelled in the softness of the air in the aftermath of lovemaking.
His eyes opened to darkness and there was a shiver of guilt that ran through Hazin for the love Petra had never known. The defences inside with which he had walled that regret were temporarily down and Hazin wished, how he wished, that she had known love. In the still of the night, his soul spoke and he voiced that regret out loud. ‘Oh, Petra.’
Flo froze beneath him.
Lost to her orgasm, utterly gone, she was hauled back as her lover said his late wife’s name while still inside her.
It was like being sluiced with filthy water.
Lost in bliss, about to float gently back to earth, she was instead hurtled into high alert and her eyes snapped open. There was no denying what she had heard and Flo shoved him off her.
‘Flo...’ he attempted, but she was already half way out of the bed. His hand reached for her and came down on her shoulder but she shrugged it off.
‘Don’t touch me!’ she told him through tense white lips.
She could not believe what had just happened and what she had just heard, but knew there could be no coming back from this.
She flicked on the light and then scrabbled on the floor, trying to find her robe, desperate to get out and feeling as if she might well throw up, when her phone rang.
Not now! Flo thought.
Please, please, not now.
But she looked at her phone and, yes, it clearly wasn’t Flo’s night for it was Maggie.
Flo couldn’t even bear to sit on the bed as she took the call, she just turned her back on Hazin.
‘Hey,’ Flo said, and tried to keep her voice as upbeat as possible.
‘Flo, I’ve been having contractions. I think the baby’s close.’
Flo asked a few questions and told Maggie she would be along very soon. First, though, she had to have a shower.
‘Is she having it?’ Hazin asked. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.
‘What do you think?’ Flo sneered.
‘Can we speak for two minutes?’
‘You don’t get another moment of my time,’ Flo said, and grabbing her clothes she headed into his bathroom and slammed the door behind her.
Flo was very used to quick showers but this was the quickest of her life.
She felt as if she had been beaten all over and she was desperate to cry but there was no time to.
Hazin tried to speak to her, though.
He went into the bathroom just as she was turning off the taps and stepping out.
‘Please, Flo. Let me explain—’
‘Don’t even try,’ she said as she dried off and dressed with lightning speed. ‘I’ve been made to feel bad in my time, but what you just did to me...’ She picked up his comb and quickly ran it through her hair. In the mirror she could see the redness of her face as she practically glowed with humiliation and pain. ‘Why don’t you go back to bed, Hazin, and get off to your late wife.’
It was nasty but, hell, it was merited and Hazin closed his eyes as she brushed past and walked out.
They were done.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
FLO WALKED SWIFTLY through the Palace.
There was no IV cupboard to hide away in this time.
No other staff she could call on to cover for her.
There was the Palace doctor, of course, but she would never let down her friend.
She had to push aside what had happened.
It was hard to, though.
Flo wanted to pause and have a cry, or to catch her breath.
A few moments ago she had been in his arms, locked in bliss...
As Flo walked through the grand entrance towards the leaders’ wing she ignored the portraits, yet it felt as if Petra’s eyes were following her.
‘Have him!’ Flo said out loud, to the bemusement of two guards who stood at the foot of the stairs.
And with that small outburst she did what she could to let it go.
She would examine her pain later but right now she had Maggie to focus on.
Flo loved her job. As she climbed the staircase
and entered the Royal wing that housed Maggie and Ilyas, she drew on that fact. This was about Maggie and being with her as she brought life into the world.
Flo put on a smile and walked into the Royal suite. Maggie was leaning against Ilyas and deep in the midst of a contraction.
Flo went over and felt the strength of the contraction. ‘How long have you been having them?’ Flo asked.
‘Since Ilyas got back from seeing Hazin.’
‘Maggie!’ Ilyas said in slight reprimand and then addressed Flo. ‘I think she started to have them when I was about to go and speak with my brother. I told her I could speak to Hazin at another time, but Maggie insisted she was fine.’
‘So since around seven,’ Flo checked, and Maggie nodded.
It was now just coming up for midnight.
Flo got Maggie up onto the bed and gave her a gentle exam to see how far along things were.
‘Should we call the Palace doctor to come?’ Ilyas asked.
‘You can call if you would prefer to,’ Flo said, ‘but he’ll be around for quite some time.’ She smiled at Maggie. ‘You’re three centimetres dilated.’
‘Three?’ Maggie’s voice was a touch incensed. ‘That’s it?’
‘That’s excellent,’ Flo said, in positive midwife-speak, but Maggie didn’t want to hear it!
‘How can I only be three centimetres dilated?’ As another contraction hit she started to moan. ‘How bad is it going to be?’
‘It’s going to be absolutely fine,’ Flo assured her.
Flo let the Palace doctor know what was happening and he came and checked on Maggie, but was very affable and understood her desire for as much privacy as possible during the first stage. Flo assured him she would call when things had moved along, or if she had any concerns in the interim.
Ilyas suggested that Maggie lie down for a while and try to relax, and when Maggie agreed Flo thought it best to leave them to it for now. There was an area outside the main bedroom, once used for maids and such, but tonight it served as Flo’s staffroom.
She made a huge mug of tea and curled up in a chair, keeping her thoughts on Maggie, rather than dwelling on Hazin.
It was too hard to do both.
Her broken heart would be there waiting at the other end of the birth, so for now she pushed it aside and focused on Maggie and the baby soon to be born.
Maggie dozed between contractions and then had a bath, and as she climbed out her waters broke.
‘I was so worried it would happen on the stage...’
‘I know you were.’ Flo smiled as she listened to the baby’s heart rate. ‘Your baby is behaving beautifully for you.’
The contractions strengthened and started coming closer together and when even the huge bedroom felt confined, they moved out onto the balcony as the dawn broke.
‘What a beautiful day to have a baby,’ Flo said.
A Christmas baby.
It was magic.
Somehow Christmas always was.
Even last year when she’d been so low, it had been a wonderful family day.
And on this one she would deliver her best friend’s child.
Or the Palace doctor would.
But Flo got to do this part.
This lovely part where the world was all hushed as Maggie leant on the stone wall and tried to breathe through the pain. The contractions were coming close together now and Maggie was finding them overwhelming.
‘You are doing so well,’ Ilyas said in his deep voice.
He wasn’t staid, Flo decided. In fact, he was incredibly stoic and calm and exactly what Maggie needed.
As Maggie groaned, Ilyas put his hand on the small of his wife’s back and massaged her there as Flo had shown him, but now it did not appease her and she pushed his hand off.
‘Go and get Flo her present,’ Maggie said, and Ilyas frowned.
‘Now?’
‘Yes, now,’ Maggie said, and her voice was urgent.
Flo knew things were moving along, just by her friend’s need to set the world to rights.
‘I thought you’d forgone Christmas,’ Flo said.
‘Not for you.’
And that touched her heart, because they were such good friends and while it wasn’t a big deal to Maggie, it was to Flo. She smiled as Ilyas returned to the balcony with a beautifully wrapped gift.
‘Open it,’ Maggie ordered.
It was a hammam towel and a gorgeous glass bottle of oil that smelled the same as the one the maids had applied to her hair.
‘They’re gorgeous,’ Flo said. ‘Thank you so much.’ But Maggie still wasn’t appeased.
‘Read the card!’ Maggie shouted.
Flo loved a woman in transition!
The dominatrix effect, she jokingly called it, and gave Ilyas a smile.
But then, when she did as she was told and read her card, Flo felt tears well in her eyes.
Dear Flo,
Any time you need a spa day, know that I do too and that the hammam awaits. I still can’t get used to being rich, but you can come here whenever you want, even for a weekend.
We are best friends and we need our spa days,
Maggie xxx
Flo had wondered if things might change between them, and if Maggie being a princess might somehow be the end of their friendship. Over and over she had told herself it would not and had reminded herself that this was Maggie. Yet at times she had doubted and worried, and Maggie had clearly understood that she might.
It meant so much.
‘Thank you,’ Flo said. ‘I shall be sure and use my gift often.’
‘Well, make sure you do!’ Maggie snarled, but then she wavered as her body took over. ‘I want to push.’
‘Then do.’
For an hour or so more it was still just the three of them. Maggie moved onto the bed and asked for darkness so Flo closed the drapes on the gorgeous day, and with just the sidelights they got down to the gritty end of birth.
Pushing was hard and exhausting work, but Maggie got the hang of it and real progress was being made.
‘I’m going to call for the doctor,’ Flo said, and as Ilyas encouraged his wife, Flo made the call and opened up the delivery pack.
‘Another push,’ Flo said. ‘You are so close to meeting your baby, Maggie...’ She looked up and smiled as the doctor and elder came in.
The elder was lovely and he went and sat where Flo had throughout the night drunk an awful lot of tea. The doctor too was charming and did not rush to take over.
It was just a gorgeous, natural birth and as Ilyas held Maggie’s leg, Flo held the other and then hugged her friend through the very end of it as Ilyas watched his son being born.
He really was a beautiful baby.
Long-limbed and with a lusty cry, he was delivered onto Maggie’s stomach and Ilyas cut the cord.
‘I’ve got a son,’ Maggie said, and though they had all already known that the baby would be a boy, it was wonderful to watch her friend’s pure joy that her son was here.
Flo covered them in a blanket so the baby lay on his mother’s chest, and his cries soon faded. He had a little feed, which helped with the delivery of the placenta.
And there was still no rush, there was plenty of skin-to-skin time before the doctor asked for him to be brought over so he could be checked.
He really was perfect. With huge dark blue eyes and thick black hair, he was the image of his father.
‘Your son is very healthy,’ the doctor said, and Flo wrapped the little man up and handed him to Ilyas.
Often, first-time fathers were awkward, but Ilyas was confident and held him close as he carried him over to Maggie.
It was a lovely family moment, so as the elder and doctor went to inform the
King and Queen of the birth of their first grandchild, Flo stepped out onto the balcony to give them some time alone.
And for some time alone for herself too.
Now that the baby was safely here and the intensity of the past hours was fading, Flo could feel anew the hurt that had propelled her from Hazin’s bed.
She closed her eyes on the bright mid-morning sun because tears were dangerously close.
She was thrilled for Maggie, absolutely so, yet Flo ached, she just ached because it felt like a knife was twisting in her gut at another appalling mistake made in the romance department.
Maybe she should be more like Maggie and be mistrusting of people. Instead, she was like that bloody eager Labrador, jumping whenever the master called.
No more.
She was through.
Of course, she would stay for the rest of her leave and she would return often, because there was no way she would let Hazin affect her friendship with Maggie. But as for Hazin she was done.
Flo was angry and hurt and felt cold to the bone.
But there was still work to be done so she pressed her fingers to her temples and took in a deep breath before heading back inside.
‘Where’s Ilyas?’ Flo asked when she saw Maggie alone, holding the baby.
‘He wanted to speak with his parents and not just leave it to the elder.’
‘Do you think they’ll come and see him?’
‘I don’t know,’ Maggie admitted. ‘I don’t think they took any interest at all in their children, but things do seem better since we married.’
‘Well, let me get you tidied up just in case,’ Flo suggested.
It was all very seamless.
With no expense spared, the room had been very well prepared for the Royal birth. Flo soon had all the equipment moved out, and the new mother sitting up in a fresh bed and gown, holding her baby.
‘How are you feeling?’ Flo asked.
‘So happy,’ Maggie said, and looked down at her sleeping son. ‘He looks so like Ilyas.’
‘He does. I certainly didn’t smuggle him in under my robe.’ Flo smiled. ‘He’s definitely his father’s son. Do you have a name?’
‘We like Bassam,’ Maggie said, and then looked up at her friend. ‘Thanks for being here, Flo.’
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