Dakota sat on the sofa. For once she wasn’t sure what to say. She believed Finn was hanging on too tight, but tonight Sasha had crossed the line. Legally, he was an adult. Apparently a stupid one. What kind of idiot started swinging around a ball of fire in the middle of the night? Sure it made good TV, but he wasn’t going to have a career if he ended up with third-degree burns.
Although the paramedics had said he was going to be okay, they’d taken him to the hospital to be checked out. Dakota had been relieved when Finn hadn’t climbed in the ambulance. She’d been concerned about having them alone in such a small space.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Finn said. “I’m going to tie them up and throw them on a plane. I know you think that will land me in jail but I’m good with that. If I get them back to Alaska and back in college, I will happily go to jail.”
“If you’re in jail, they’ll just leave college. As for tying them up, they’re about your size, Finn. You could probably take one of them but you can’t take both.”
He paused by the window and looked at her. “Want to bet? I’m mad enough to take on a Kodiak bear.”
This probably wasn’t the time to point out that the Kodiak bear would win.
“I can’t believe Sasha did that,” she admitted. “I can’t believe he was that stupid.”
“Despite the visual demonstration?”
“Even then. I’m so disappointed.”
“Imagine how I feel.” He crossed to the sofa and sat next to her. “I know you think I’m being controlling, but now do you see that Sasha will risk his life to get that damn fame he so desperately wants? I have to stop him. He’s my family.” He shook his head. “I’m never going to be done raising them, am I?”
She laid her head on his shoulder. “Yes, you are. But you’re never going to stop worrying. There’s a difference.”
“And here I thought I’d be done by now.” He wrapped his arm around her. “This is why I don’t want more kids. It never ends. You can’t get away from the responsibility. How do you know you’ve done a good job? How do you know they’re going to be okay? It’s too much. God, I want to go home.”
Unexpected emotion swirled inside her. The sharp pain from the reminder that children might not be in her future. Disappointment that Finn didn’t share her dream of family.
She and Finn didn’t have a future. The fact that he didn’t want children and had plans to return to South Salmon wasn’t news. She’d known from the first second she met him that he didn’t want to be in Fool’s Gold. As for the kid thing, she knew that, too.
But it was possible that sometime in the past week or so she’d allowed herself to forget that Finn wasn’t a permanent part of her life. It was possible that he had managed to creep past her defenses, and now she cared about him. Which meant she had to get her feelings under control or she would be at risk of having her already fragile heart shattered.
“Sorry,” he said with a sigh. “This isn’t your problem.”
“We’re friends. I’m happy to listen. Besides, I’m something of a professional in this area. Feel free to pick my brain.”
“I know what you think.” He kissed her lightly. “You’re not exactly reticent when it comes to sharing your opinion.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”
“Good. That’s how I meant it.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s late. We should get some sleep.”
“You want to stay here?” she asked, before she could stop herself. What was she thinking? She just realized that she was at emotional risk with Finn, and now she was asking him to spend the night? It’s not that she was afraid they were going to have sex. They were both tired and stressed. The real danger came from not having sex. From sleeping together. Sharing. Connecting.
“I’d like that,” he said standing.
They walked into the bedroom and got undressed. She kept on her short-sleeved nightshirt, but took off her shoes and jeans. Finn dropped everything to the floor. They slid into her king-size bed and met in the middle. After she turned out the light, he lay on his back, she curled up next to him. He put his arm around her.
“Thank you,” he murmured in the darkness. “You’ve been a rock.”
“I’m happy to help.” Which was the truth. Helping was easy. It was protecting herself that was going to be hard.
SASHA SAT ON A BED in the emergency room, waiting for the doctor to release him. He had minor burns on his right side and on the underside of his arm. Nothing that wouldn’t heal in a few days.
They hurt like hell but had been worth it. On the ambulance ride over, Lani had told him that Geoff had already called a couple of reporters to tell them what had happened. His accident was going to give the show a lot of publicity, which was great for both of them.
The only downside in all the excitement was how pissed Finn was going to be at him. Like that was news, Sasha told himself. He’d survived it before, and he would survive it again. Finn was an old man who couldn’t remember what it was like to be young and have dreams. Sasha had his whole life ahead of him.
The curtain to his small alcove parted, and Lani stepped in.
“How are you doing?” she asked, her voice low.
He motioned her close. “Are the guys out there?”
She nodded. “Both cameras. They’re not supposed to film in the hospital without written permission, but you know Geoff. He’s telling them to get what they can.”
She settled on the side of the bed and grinned at him. “This is so cool. We’re going to get tons of airtime. I was thinking, when we get back, we should stage a big fight. They can edit that in to make it look like you wanted to do the Fire Poi to prove something to me.”
He tugged on her long, dark hair. “Have you been talking to Geoff?”
“Of course. Come on. We all want the same thing. Huge ratings. This is one way to get that. Geoff said he’s already had a call from Inside Edition. They’re talking exclusive interview. That would be beyond amazing.”
Inside Edition?
For years now, the thing he’d wanted most in life was to get the hell out of South Salmon. As a kid, the dream had been about only that. He hadn’t had another destination in mind—just a fervent need to be anywhere but there.
As he’d gotten older, he’d started to realize he needed a better goal. A place to reach toward, rather than away from. Which was how his idea of being a star had been born. Now he wanted to get on a TV series, or be in movies. He wanted to be someone, to be loved and cared for by millions. And if the price of that was a couple of burns, so be it.
“So we’ll stage the fight and then there will be these scenes?” he asked.
“Uh-huh.” She lowered her voice even more. “So I’m thinking I should probably cry and beg you to live.”
He chuckled. “Sure thing. Then some loud kissing?”
She nodded and stood. “Let me go tell the guys.”
Sasha watched her go. She was pretty enough, he thought. But there wasn’t any chemistry between them. There were a lot of other women he would rather kiss and then sleep with. But whatever it took for him to get to the next level…
Lani returned. She stood by his bed, drew in a few deep breaths, then started to cry.
“Sasha,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “Sasha, you have to be okay. Please, please live. S-Sasha?” Her voice broke on his name.
Her talent impressed him. He stared at her for a second, then imagined how all this would feel if he really loved her and thought he was going to die.
“Don’t go,” he said, his voice low and husky, as if he was in extreme pain. “Lani, I need you.”
“I’m right here. You know I’m here.” She sniffed. “I can’t believe you got hurt. Do you need something for the pain?”
“They gave me something. It’s not bad. I’m not going to give up, because I have you.”
Her eyes twinkled with laughter as she said, “Really? You feel it, too? Our connection? I thought�
�” Another sob. “Oh, Sasha, I’ve been afraid to say anything and then when we fought before, I thought you didn’t care about me.”
“Of course I care. Getting matched with you was the luckiest day in my life.”
“You mean that?”
“You’re my girl.”
“Oh, Sasha.”
She covered her mouth to hold in a giggle, then climbed into the bed next to him.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she told him.
“You couldn’t. Just being next to you makes me know everything is going to be all right.”
“I want to kiss you,” she said, while sticking a finger down her throat and silently pretending to gag.
He had to swallow hard to keep from laughing. “Yes, baby,” he murmured. “Just holding you makes it all better.”
They began to kiss, going more for noise than passion. Sasha heard the sound of metal hooks on a pole as the privacy curtains were opened enough for the camera to get a shot of them.
He kept his eyes closed and thought about what he would do with his half of the money. How every woman would want him and every man would want to be him. Then he flipped Lani onto her back and put some tongue into it.
FINN WATCHED THE LIVE FEED of the show. The blend of what was happening on stage and taped pieces was interesting. Someone had to plan all that—figure out what to put where. Some of the taped pieces showed a contest with the various couples putting together bookcases. The kind that came in long flat boxes, with too many pieces and instructions written in awkward English.
Sasha and Lani laughed more than they worked and didn’t finish in the allotted time. Stephen and Aurelia came in first. They worked together quickly and easily, sharing the tasks and ending up with a project that actually looked like a bookcase.
After the taped piece about Sasha and the Fire Poi, viewers were asked to vote for their favorite couple. The results would be announced in a couple of hours.
When the show ended, Finn knew Sasha and Lani would be staying. He had a feeling that building a bookcase wasn’t enough to entice viewers, so Stephen and Aurelia might be at risk.
Dakota walked over to him. “How did it go?” she asked.
“Sasha and Lani are going to clean up this week,” he told her. “I’m less sure about Stephen and Aurelia.”
“Still think it’s too soon for him to want to go home?”
“I’m sure of it.”
“Have you asked Stephen what he would do?”
“I’m a guy,” he said. “So is he. We don’t have conversations.”
“That’s part of the problem.”
“It must be nice to always have the answer,” he said, annoyed by her certainty.
Dakota raised her chin slightly. “I’m not the bad guy here. I’m on your side.”
“Then why are you always telling me what I’m doing wrong?”
“Because you’re reacting as if you’re trying to reason with yourself instead of your brothers. You’re not looking at the situation from their point of view.”
“I know them a hell of a lot better than you do.”
“Which isn’t the point. Your way hasn’t changed their mind. Maybe another point of view would be helpful.”
“But only if it’s yours, right?”
She exhaled sharply. “I didn’t say that. I care about you and them. I want you to stay close with your brothers so the family unit remains intact. I’m not sure why you can’t see that. You’re so determined to protect them from the world. And you can’t.”
“I can sure try.”
“They’re not seven. You keep saying that the twins are the ones who have to grow up, but maybe you’re the one who can’t let go of the past.”
He glared at her. “Is this advice free or am I expected to pay for it? Because it’s not worth shit.”
She looked at him for a long time. “Fine. I thought that you wanted my opinion. My mistake. I can see you’re only interested in being right.”
With that, she turned and walked away.
Finn let her go. He didn’t need her. He didn’t need anybody. Only he knew he was lying. If he really didn’t care, he could get on the next plane to Alaska and leave his brothers to their fate. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be wondering how badly he’d messed up with Dakota and how he could fix it without getting deeper into a relationship that wasn’t meant to be.
CHAPTER NINE
“YOU’VE GOT TO GIVE ME something to work with,” Karen said. “I think you’re a cute couple with a lot of potential, but there’s nothing there. No fights, no kissing and certainly no making up. There’s nothing interesting to film. You know how Geoff is. You two came in second to last on the voting. That means you’re at risk of being voted off.”
“Do we have to come in last before we’re let go?” Stephen asked. “Is that decision based on numbers or does Geoff make it?”
Karen sighed. “Technically you have to go if you come in last on the viewer voting. My point is, if you want to stay on the show, you have to give us something. Otherwise you’re gonna be gone.”
“Thanks for letting us know,” Aurelia said.
She was doing her best to accept the information in the spirit in which it was given. But it was very difficult not to feel even more romantically inept than usual. Here she was, failing at a fake relationship. If she couldn’t make this work, when it wasn’t even real, how was she supposed to ever find a man and fall in love?
“I think you two like each other,” Karen said. “Maybe you should think about that and stop worrying about the cameras.”
Aurelia nodded. She knew that a lot of the couples had no trouble being around the cameras. But she was always aware of them, afraid of how she looked. Afraid of what people would say. After the show first aired, her mother called with her critique. It was not kind. She didn’t like her daughter’s clothes, or her hair or what she said. She also didn’t like how young Stephen was but agreed there was nothing to be done about it. It wasn’t as if Aurelia had picked him.
The only bright spot was the fact that Aurelia wasn’t expected to visit her mother as much.
“I need to get back to the office,” Karen said. “Please don’t say anything. I’m not supposed to tell you, but I wanted to.”
“We won’t say anything,” Stephen promised. “We’ll do better next time.”
Aurelia waited until the production assistant had left, then turned to him. “I guess we’re done,” she said. “The twin factor helped us the first couple of weeks, but the thrill is probably wearing off.”
Or it was her. A conversation she didn’t want to have with Stephen.
They were sitting on the grass in the large park in the center of town. The live portion of the show had been the previous night, and now they were on their own for a couple of days. For Aurelia, that meant going back to work. Show or no show, she still had clients.
“I’m not ready for this to be over,” Stephen told her. “Do you want to be finished with the show?”
“No, but we’re not like your brother and Lani. Do you want to play with Fire Poi to get more votes?”
“I would prefer to get out of the show unscarred,” he said with a grin. “But we could do something.”
“What I should do is grow a spine,” she murmured. “Stand up to my mother. I’m a lot more afraid of her than I am of Geoff.”
Stephen sat across from her. His blue eyes darkened with concern. “Why does she scare you?”
“Scared isn’t exactly the right word. When I’m with her, I feel bad about myself. I feel guilty. Like I’m always doing something wrong. When I was a kid, it was just the two of us. We felt like a team. We did everything together. But then something changed. I’m not sure exactly when, but one day there were expectations. Rather than going off with my friends, I was supposed to come home and hang out with her. In high school, I didn’t date. Some of it was me. I was bookish and not very pretty. Some of it was her, though. When I did get asked out, she always
had a dozen reasons as to why I couldn’t go.”
“Because she wanted to keep you for herself?”
Aurelia hesitated. “I’m not sure. Although she’s always complaining I’m not married or giving her grandchildren, I’m not sure she would be happy if I was. She has a sense of entitlement. She believes that it’s my responsibility to take care of her.”
“Is she sick?”
“No. She works, but she expects me to pay most of her expenses. It’s as if I only exist to serve her. She doesn’t like that I have a life. And somehow I’ve let that be okay. She talks about all the things she did for me and tells me over and over again that I should be grateful. I am. It’s just, when do I get to have a life of my own?”
Stephen leaned toward her and took her hands in his. “Now,” he said softly. “You get to have a life now. The longer you let her do this to you, the harder it’s going to be to break away. Don’t you want more?”
What she wanted was someone to look at her the way he was looking at her now. With caring and concern. With an intensity that made her fingers tremble.
She must be dehydrated or something. This was Stephen. He was young enough to be her baby brother. Nothing about him should make her tremble or even see him as anything but a friend. He was practically a teenager.
“I do want more,” she said. “I want what most women want. A husband and children.”
“That’s not going to happen until you’re willing to stand up to her. So which is bigger—your fear of her or your desire for your dreams? Because that’s what it comes down to.”
In the space of a few minutes, he’d managed to articulate everything she’d been thinking for the past five years. “You’re right,” she whispered. “I do have to confront her.” She looked at him, then bit her lower lip. “Does it have to be today?”
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