by Ebony Olson
Calin shook his head. “No. Not him. Not Luke?” His body shivered with rage, and he turned to walk around to the other door. I jumped off the bench and ran to stand in front of the door, blocking his path. “Get out of my way. This doesn't involve you.”
“A minute ago you made it involve me when you decided I could be your pound of flesh.”
Calin assessed me. “My brother is upstairs fucking my wife. I couldn't attack the boss. My brother is another matter.”
“Does the fact they are in love make any difference?” I begged. “I'm sure they didn't mean for this to happen. Maybe on her nights off they spent time together and a friendship formed, and it evolved to more. Maybe it was love at first sight. It doesn't matter. What does matter is they haven't done this to hurt you. Sometimes our hearts make decisions without asking for our opinions first.”
Calin stroked his fingers along my jaw. “So much compassion.” I heard the insult. He said it the way Alexander always did. He moved closer to me and lowered his mouth to an inch from mine. “Would you pity-fuck me to stop me going up those stairs and killing my adulterous wife?”
“No.” I looked away. Calin grabbed my jaw and forced my face up to his. “If you try, you'll be doing it as a human.” I flicked my eyes up to his and put all the threat behind my words into my glare because he didn't know I'd promised never to do it again.
Calin smiled, and his rage seeped out of his eyes as my anger grew. “I understood the boss's attraction to your beauty and your compassion. Now I see what was the cinch for him.”
Gina stepped into the room and carefully touched her husband's shoulder, “You have plenty of wives, and Luke has been alone for a long time. Could you not love them both enough to let them love each other?”
Calin stepped back from me. “When did you get so romantic?”
Gina smiled shyly, “It's logic, not romance. Something men seem to lack when it comes to affairs of the heart.” She tugged his hand. “Now take some of my logic. Apologize to Spectra and then take me to bed. I've missed you.”
Calin smiled at her. He kissed my cheek. “I'm sorry I scared you.”
Gina led her husband out of the kitchen, and I took three deep breaths to steady myself. My phone rang, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I walked to the window to make sure I kept the reception.
“Alexander, what's up?”
“I want to see you. Can I come by?” He sounded frazzled.
“I'm not home. I've been spending time out of the city on the weekends.”
“Yeah, Tommy said you were out of town. What's happening?”
I bit my lip. “Tonight? I'm helping a woman not get murdered by her angry husband.”
“Oh, work as usual then?” Alexander sighed. “I thought you were letting the business go?”
“Until I have a job, I can't afford to do that just yet.”
“Well, can I see you tomorrow night?”
“I probably won't be back until Monday. With college finished, I'm sort of taking time out and enjoying getting away for a while.”
Alexander huffed frustrated. “Dinner on Monday then. No excuses. I'll take you to Margareta's.”
“I'd rather not. Can we just do Italian down the harbor?”
Alexander was silent for a moment. “Margareta's is your favorite.”
“Was my favorite. Right up until I walked in on you fucking the maitre d' and you started taking your new girlfriend there. I'll meet you at the bottom of the stairs by the harbor at seven on Monday.” I hung up the phone. I'd seen him with the Nephilim last weekend and recognized Raquel from the club. Female offspring of celestials were kind of rare enough that if we ran across each other, we took notice.
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed a fresh bottle of water and trekked back up to Bay's bedroom. He was just walking out onto the landing as I reached the top of the stairs.
“Everything okay?” he asked, concerned.
I gave him a quiet smile, knowing he could read me perfectly well, and held up the bottle of water. “Thirsty.” I stepped into him and went on tiptoe to kiss his lips. “Ready for round three?”
Bay wrapped me in his arms. “I was ready for sleep, but seeing you in my shirt changed my mind.”
* * *
“So how's business?” Alexander asked as the waiter took our menus away.
“Still there.”
“Have you heard from Ryder?”
I shrugged. “I ran into him at a party the other week.”
“He didn't try anything?”
“He tried to get me alone, but it didn't work.”
“And you haven't heard from him otherwise?” Alexander studied me.
I kept watching the crowd walking past the harborfront restaurant. “A couple of times, but he's been quite the gentleman and when I told him to leave, he has.” I turned my eyes to Alexander. “Are you going to marry Raquel?”
Alexander sat back. “How did you know about her?”
I looked at him. “Female offspring are rare, Alexander. We tend to know each other, and I saw you going into Margareta's with her last Saturday. With the way you were touching each other, I'd say you've been seeing each other for a few months now. Were you ever going to tell me?”
“She can shield. She was raised by her father and trained at a young age.” Alexander kept his eyes downcast.
I swallowed over the lump growing inside my throat, a ball of hurt sinking to my stomach. “You must be happy to have found someone worthy of you, Alexander.”
Alexander's dark eyes lifted to mine. “She's not you, Spec.”
I sighed. “No, Alexander, she isn't.” I put my napkin on the table and stood up. Alexander's eyes went wide with fear, and I knew this was what he'd always feared. “Good luck, Alexander.”
He stood, grabbing my hand. “Don't walk Spec. She's a Fallen's get. She may not be strong enough.”
“The fact that you've told me about her tells me you think she is, Alex. At the very least, you're sure she's stronger than me.” I kissed his cheek, holding my tears at bay while I walked away from the table.
I wanted to go straight home and cry my heart out, but at the same time, I didn't want to be by myself. I pulled out my phone as I neared the grounds of Saint Benedict's.
“Hey, everything okay?” Mercury sounded worried. There was lots of noise in the background, so I knew he wasn't at work.
“Can I see you tonight?”
Mercury hesitated. “I'll be home in thirty minutes.”
I hung up the phone and walked straight to the caretaker's cottage. Robert answered the door. He opened his mouth to tell me Mercury wasn't there, but the tears started falling, and he swallowed those words, opening the door wide enough for me to come in.
“Does Mercury know you're here?” I nodded my head. Robert nodded and shut the door, walking back to his television show.
I made my way back to Mercury's room, throwing my jacket in the corner along with my boots before sitting cross-legged on his bed and cuddling myself. Mercury came in twenty minutes later. He saw that I was physically unharmed and relaxed a little. He sat next to me on the bed and put an arm around me, waiting for me to be ready to talk.
“I thought it would hurt more...” I sobbed. “If he ever found a balance worthy of him. I thought it would be like dying all over again. It's not. It hurts, and I feel like I left a part of me back there with him, but it's not killing me.”
Mercury blew out a breath, and I got the feeling he'd known for a long time about Raquel and Alexander. I looked at his jeans and shirt and sighed. “Are you off for tonight?”
“Yes.”
“You were with another woman, weren't you?”
“Yes.”
“Jesus! I'm sorry, Merc.”
“Is it over with Alexander?”
“Yes.”
“Then don't be sorry.” Mercury pulled me into his lap so I sat facing him. “I will always choose you over an
y other woman.”
I gave him a weak smile. He made me happy. He made my heart beat harder, and as I looked into his worried lapis blues, I knew Bay was right. I'd fallen in love with Mercury years ago and never even realized it because I'd been so focused on becoming the woman Alexander needed. Mercury just needed me to be me.
I pushed his jacket from his shoulders, and I watched Mercury's eyes grow heated. I lifted his shirt over his head and ran my hands over the strength of those shoulders and arms, my fingers tracing over the tattoo where it ended at his neck. I traced the wing down across the pectorals to his side where the wing joined to the warrior angel, brandishing a sword in one hand, the rod of Asclepius in the other.
Mercury touched my face, bringing me back to him. “Nothing happens tonight, Spectra. You're heartbroken. You can't make decisions in this state of mind.”
“I wasn't...”
“You were. I can see it all over your face. You've just realized what I mean to you, and you're terrified you'll lose me too if you don't give me a reason to stay. You won't, Spectra. I've been yours since the first time we kissed. What you need to realize is that you and Alexander have been over for twelve months or more. You'd faded into nothing more than friends with the occasional roll in the sheets. You love each other so you couldn't admit it was over, but it was. Tonight isn't going to change anything except you'll avoid him more than you already do.”
The pain in my chest yawned open, and while I knew Mercury was right, it hurt even more that he was. Mercury pulled my face to his neck as I started crying again. He held me tight, and as my tears ran dry, he laid us down on his bed and continued to hold me till we both fell asleep, still wrapped in each other's arms.
I woke in the morning by myself. Mercury's jacket and boots were gone, so I knew he'd left for work already. Collecting my stuff, I made my way back to the church grounds to the convent and my attic bedroom. I showered and changed before grabbing my stuff and heading to the library to finally fix up my resume and send it off to the two new companies asking to meet me.
By the time the library was closing and I was packing up to head home, I'd already received a call arranging a meeting on Thursday with Galaxy Systems. Their head office was out of town in one of the business industrial parks. I decided to get something to eat and then look up how I could actually get there.
As I walked into the convent two hours after dark, a woman was sitting in the waiting area. She stood when I came in, which drew my attention. “Phillipa. What are you doing in the city this late?”
“Henry is working so we will get dinner after.” She looked upset, and I could only gather she'd spoken with Alexander. “I'm sorry, Spectra. I shouldn't have given you hope when you visited last time. I knew about Raquel then. I just... I wanted it to be you because I know it's you he loves.”
I looked at the floor, unable to meet her eyes. “He will be happy with her, Phillipa. She's trained, and she'll make the perfect wife for L'Ordre. She wears all the right clothes and will fit in with his high society life.”
“You were raised high society, Spectra, and dressed the part till...” Phillipa choked, unable to say what changed me. She stepped forward, taking my hand. “They aren't married yet, Spectra. Don't give up. I know you have the potential to be a strong balance. He's a powerful sorcerer; she may not be worthy.”
I took my hand back. “He thinks she is, Phillipa. He gave up on me years ago. It's time I gave up on him too.”
I turned and walked up the stairs. I couldn't say goodbye to Phillipa. I couldn't lose that too this week. Alexander tried ringing me a few times today, but I'd decided, when I woke up, that the best thing I could do was sever all ties with him. I'd called the NSIO before lunch and canceled my meeting that was set for after graduation. I'd never wanted to work there, so I didn't see the point in going through with the meet.
My phone buzzed as I closed the door to my room, and I opened the message from Mercury.
Bad night. Won't be making it home at all. Will you be okay?
I typed back I would be, and his reply was almost instant.
Good luck with the interview tomorrow.
Immediately afterward, an email came through.
I can't stop thinking about you. B.
I sighed, sitting on my bed, considering the timing of both those messages. I looked around my room and typed my response without looking at the screen. The truth was I didn't want to be alone.
Then come and get me.
I went to my wardrobe and picked out what I would wear to the interview tomorrow. My phone pinged with another email.
Calin will pick you up in thirty minutes. Bring what you need for the night.
I smiled and zipped the bag I'd already packed. My phone started ringing. I looked at the caller ID, saw it was Alexander, and silenced it. A moment later, my room flared like a flash firestorm. It lasted a blink, but it was enough to make my shield activate. Just two weekends with Bay and I'd stretched it to encompass my entire torso.
I blinked through the tears from the impact of that power to find Alexander standing in my room, still in his work suit. He looked angry. “You're ignoring my calls.”
“We're over, Alexander. It's best for both of us if it just stops.”
“No, it's not!” He ran his hand through his hair. His power was still there, he wasn't shielding me like he normally did, and so his anger whipped out and lashed me with that power. I cringed, but my shield took the brunt of it, stretching to cover my thighs. Alexander's eyes softened as he pulled my mouth to his. He kissed me passionately, and for a moment I fell into his kiss, his passion.
“Stop.” I whimpered as his hands started pulling my skirt up. I felt his emotions as if they were mine. Lust, love, fear, anger. I pulled at his anger, taking it from him and making it mine. “Stop!” I shoved him away from me. “I'm not yours anymore. That stopped four years ago when you pushed me out.”
Alexander looked at me, shocked. “I did that to protect you...”
“You did it to have the freedom to screw around, to be able to seek out a woman worthy of you. You decided four years ago I was never going to make the cut, but you didn't want to give me up either, so you gave me the hope to keep me under your spell. And I believed it. I believed it right up until I saw your mother a few weeks ago. Do you know what she told me?”
Alexander shook his head, his anger starting to build again. As his power burnt around me, the shield spread to my ankles. Growing my shield was becoming easier with each exposure.
“She said I needed constant exposure to learn, that pushing me away, shielding me constantly from your power, would never train me.”
“What are you saying?” His anger was becoming dangerous. I could see the power swirling around him now. My shield spread to my elbows and I couldn't help thinking that if I stayed in this room another ten minutes with Alexander angry, I might finally make my shield complete.
I dropped my voice, softened it, so I didn't come off threatening. “I'm saying you never wanted me to make it, Alexander. You knew I needed to be exposed. You knew, and you didn't do it. And, now I know it too.”
I stepped forward, collecting my bag from my bed. Alexander grabbed the bag from me and held it up. “What's this?” The shield stretched, only my hands, feet, and head exposed to the fire now.
“I'm leaving.”
Alexander's face dropped, his anger fading suddenly as his fear came to the surface. I realized what I'd said and what he'd heard were two different things, or maybe they weren't. As we stood there looking at each other, I acknowledged to myself that both the jobs I'd applied for today took me away from the city. Subconsciously, I'd already decided I was leaving for good.
Alexander placed my bag carefully on my bed. “What about your job interviews, your business?”
“I'll still see out the interviews this week. The business is transportable.”
Alexander met my eyes, the pain, and sadness in t
hem a crushing, clawing weight on my chest. “I can't give you up, Spec.”
I hesitated, stepped towards him, and gave him the gentlest kiss. My heart felt like it was being ripped open and I was bleeding everywhere. I pulled back from the kiss, keeping my eyes closed against my own tears, knowing the moisture I felt on my face were Alexander's tears. “I'm not giving you a choice, Alexander.”
I collected my bag and walked out of the room. Mother Superior was standing in the walkway outside my room as I came out and shut the door. She waited till I came close to speak and kept her voice to a whisper. I knew sound traveled around this space. I held no delusion that she didn’t hear everything.
“There is a man downstairs saying he was sent to pick you up.”
I nodded, looking back over my shoulder at the sound of Alexander's crying.
Mother Superior touched my shoulder in comfort as my tears started to fall. “Go. I'll make sure he's okay.” She gave me a gentle push towards the stairs.
Downstairs, Calin took one look at me and put his arm around me as he walked me to Luke's Wrangler. We drove in silence, just the occasional tear escaping. As we pulled into the garage, Calin's phone vibrated. I climbed out of the car while he read the message.
“The boss is just finishing up dinner. He shouldn't be too long.”
“If you don't mind. I'll wait in his room.”
Calin nodded. I took my bag and walked into the house, making my own way.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Bay
“I think that's the fastest we've ever made the drive back from the city,” Luke scowled as we pulled into the garage.
I rolled my eyes, climbing out of the car. “Spectra is here.”
Luke slammed the car door. “So we've gone from weekends to weekdays as well. Soon she'll be moving in.”
I slapped him on the shoulder as I walked past. “What a great idea. I'll get the place sanctified so she feels comfortable and she can move in next week.”
Luke stiffened, his feet coming to a halt. I kept walking, smirking to myself at his growl as I walked into the house.
“...tell the boss. Something bad might have happened.” Gina's voice came from the library as I walked in.
