“How much longer until you get off?” Jax spun my body around so that my back was against his chest. He ran his hands up to my exposed breasts and massaged them greedily.
“By getting off, do you mean this, or the actual time I get to leave?”
His low grumble against my shoulder gave me chills. “Don’t say that. I might just have to bend you over again before you walk out of here.”
When I turned around to face him, the first thing I did was press my lips against his. “Two hours tops. Do you want me to meet you at your place?”
“I’d rather wait here.”
“Jax, be fair.”
“I am. If you get to dance for those perverts out there, I get to enjoy the rest of the show until you’re done. Fair is fair, baby.”
I had to bite my tongue, because I knew he was right. It also made me question why I was still doing this at all. Sure, the money was the motive, but at what cost was I willing to sacrifice? I’d found someone that not only helped me heal, but also was sweeping me off my feet. How much could he take before he walked away? Our time was already limited because of school obligations. I couldn’t add this to the list of reasons why Jax should give this up while it was still early enough to not get hurt. For me, losing him, and how he made me feel would already crush me. As insane as it was, in a short time he’d changed me back to the person I used to be. Now I was left vulnerable and confused. “You’re right. Go enjoy the show.” I grabbed him by the collar and spoke against his lips. “You better not like it too much.”
He licked his tongue over my tender skin. “Baby, I’ve never seen,” he touched me as he spoke. “Or touched someone as sexy as you. Every woman has tits and pussy, but when I close my eyes all I see is yours.” He slapped my ass. “Now get back to work.”
“Jax,” I whispered against this mouth. “You make me want things with you that I know I can’t have.”
“Now isn’t the time, beautiful.” He kissed me slowly, only to pull away when the curtain opened. A co-worker stood there with a paying customer awestruck with what I was doing; fraternizing with a guest.
Jax and I separated. He walked out with his head down, while I stood there waiting for her to say something smart. She left the customer outside the curtain to address me. “Is that how you make such good tips?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Oh really? I just saw you lip-locked with that guy. Now, he may be hot, but you know we’re not allowed to do that.”
“He’s my boyfriend.” It felt so good to say it out loud. “That guy isn’t a customer. Yes, he paid me for a lap dance, but I swear we’re together.”
“You know the rules about bringing significant others to the club.”
“I wasn’t told he was coming,” I defended.
“Amber, just get out of my face. It’s bad enough they all come here to see you, now you’re hogging up the back for funny stuff with your so-called boyfriend.”
“Whatever.” I walked away before she could keep going, but knew she’d bring it up to the owner. If I knew one thing about the women I worked with it was that they were all jealous. I couldn’t help that I was a trained dancer, or that I worked hard to keep my body looking attractive.
Since I’d already danced and the schedule was full for the rest of the night, I was required to walk around and mingle with the people in the club. I purposely put my bikini top back on before entering the common area. Jax was seated off to the side with a beer in his hand. He was playing on his phone, not paying attention to the girl up on stage. Then I heard the music and knew right away what the routine was about to change to. With one glance I saw the smoke machine coming on, and high heels appearing from behind the curtain. This was a two-girl- dance, and it got pretty heated. The two newest employees had teamed together to try and make lots of tips. Of course it worked. They’d asked me to join them, but I was fine doing my little bit and getting off the stage. I certainly didn’t want the extra attention that a routine like that put off.
When I turned to look at Jax his eyes were on the stage. My stomach knotted up, and I felt betrayed. It was ridiculous, and out of line, but that’s exactly what happened. I tried to keep my cool, because I knew I was over-reacting. Unlike the girls on stage, I didn’t love my job, I only pretended to, much like all of my actions in the past year. After the fallout with Seth, and him getting locked up, I was too stuck in my routine to change. I knew it was part of my depression, feeling that if I changed anything about my life I’d lose control again. Then Jax came along and nothing had been the same for me since. He was tearing down every defense I’d created, leaving me with eyes wide open to what I was doing, and how I was behaving.
I sauntered in his direction, only to be stopped by a regular I recognized. “Charisma. Aren’t you going to say hi?” He asked.
“Hi, Brian. How are you tonight?”
He wouldn’t let go of my arm, making it difficult for me to walk away. “I’m better now that you’re here. I got paid tonight. How about a private dance?”
What was I supposed to do? I knew my co-worker was going to rat on me for being with Jax in the booth earlier. She was probably watching me, waiting for me to screw up again, so I could be fired and she’d gain more tips. I glanced back at Jax, who I desperately wanted to be with, and then back at Brian. With a fake smile I held out my hand. “Sure.”
As we walked back toward the booths, I could feel the burning in my throat. I wasn’t Charisma the exotic dancer. I was Amber, and Amber didn’t do this sort of thing.
This wasn’t Brian’s first lap dance. He’d expect my best performance, and I wouldn’t be able to give it, not even with the help of all the alcohol behind the bar.
I kept my back facing him, so he couldn’t see me breaking down, falling apart while my hips swayed to the distance tempo of the music. Unfastening my top allowed me to see how bad I was shaking. My mind went off to being alone in a similar room with Jax, and what we’d done together. I turned around holding my breasts with my hands. Brian wasn’t even paying attention to my face. I could have worn a bag and he wouldn’t have cared. It was the first time that I felt like a whore. I couldn’t hide behind my false identity anymore. The real me was back, and I didn’t want to be in this position with a strange man. I wanted to cuddle up on the couch with my boyfriend and watch movies, while we discussed college and other things people our age talked about. I reached down and picked up my top off the floor, handing Brian his money back. “I’m so sorry. I can’t do this.”
I knew he stood up, but I didn’t look back. I ran into the dressing room, grabbed my things, and hauled ass outside to catch my breath. This couldn’t be happening to me, not now, when I was so close to finishing school.
I pulled my phone out and sent Jax a message telling him I was outside. It only took him a minute to come prancing out of the door. At first he couldn’t tell something wrong, not until he got closer. “What the hell? Did that dude try something?”
I shook my head and cried. “No. It’s not that.”
“What? Is it because I’m here? I’m sorry, Amber. I know you said to stay away, but -.”
I lowered my hands and looked into eyes. “It’s not even you, Jax. It’s me.”
He didn’t pressure me for answers. “Are you okay to drive?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Let’s go. I’ll follow you.” He reached forward and kissed my forehead. “Jealousy goes both ways you know.”
I looked back at the club entrance after he said that, knowing I wasn’t going to return. It wasn’t just my budding relationship with Jax deterring me from my job. It was the fact that I never belonged there in the first place. Jax had just helped me see it.
Chapter 34
Jax
I never thought I’d say that I hated being in a strip club, but as I watched my new girlfriend lead some douche into the back, I wanted to crush something. Needless to say my heart dropped when she messaged me to come outside. I was surprised t
o find out that she wanted to leave, and wondered if she was secretly mad I’d stuck around. Perhaps she couldn’t perform knowing I was out there waiting and hoping she wouldn’t go through with it.
On the ride home I tried to calm down. She was coming there to be with me, not any of the men that showed up to see her tits at the club. She’d given me all of her, and then some. Though it didn’t make me feel less frustrated.
While in the club I’d received a message from my coach, asking when I’d be returning to town. He sent the practice schedule for the team, and we were supposed to begin in three weeks time. In all the months that I’d sworn I was done with football, I couldn’t imagine not being there with my team again. I’d come to Kentucky to run from my brother and Reese, only to find Amber, and in the past week I’d become almost obsessed with making sure she was mine. How was I supposed to turn around and leave, right when things were just getting good?
My thoughts overwhelmed me until we pulled up at my trailer. Amber climbed out of her car at the same time I did mine. I didn’t take her hand as we walked up the gravel driveway, even though I knew she was in high-ass heels. I couldn’t look at her without feeling like everything was about to become so fucked up.
Once inside I plopped down on the living room couch, while she made her way to the bathroom to shower. It gave me little time to settle down, especially when she came out wearing a tight white tank top with nothing underneath, and a very skimpy thong. What was worse was that she immediately cuddled her body against mine. “I’m sorry about tonight Jax.”
“What part?” I asked.
“All of it. I hate feeling like I’m pushing you away.”
I clenched my jaw and sat up. “It’s fine. I mean, how long can this last anyway? You said it yourself that you’re leaving Kentucky when the fall semester is over. You and I both know I’m supposed to start football soon. I’m just going to be honest here and say that I’m not the kind of guy who can handle something long-distance. I have needs, and you’re too fucking beautiful for me to not imagine that every dude with a dick is wanting to slip in and take you away.” I rubbed my face with both hands. “No matter how I try to play it out in my head I just keep coming back to the same result. This thing between us is temporary.”
“Please don’t talk like that, not tonight,” she whispered.
“Why?” I was putting up my defenses. “We need to. You and I, were so good together, and that’s what makes it so hard. I can’t keep hoping that it’s going to work, when we both know it won’t. All we have is right now, and I’m so damn pissed about it that I don’t know if it’s even worth it. I don’t want to fight my feelings, and don’t even say you don’t have them, because I know you do.”
“God, you just came into my life. I don’t want to think about losing you.” She rested her head on my arm and began to sniffle. I felt horrible, but knew that I didn’t want to suffer through the pain of losing someone else. My feelings for her were already borderline obsessive. It was going to crush me to be apart.
“I just needed to get it off my chest.” I kissed the top of her head. “I’m going to miss you so much when we have to part ways.”
“I’ll miss you too, but I understand why you don’t want to try and make it work. My baggage is -.”
I interrupted her. “It’s got nothing to do with that. I don’t care about your past, or even the fucking job. I just want to be with you. Don’t you get that? The way I’m acting, it’s not me, Amber. I don’t stalk women. I’ve never had to work to be with someone. You challenge me to be a better person, and I actually like who I am when we’re together.”
“Me too. In so many ways you’re my real-life hero.”
“Don’t call me that. I’ve got plenty of flaws.”
“No, it’s true. I never would have stood up to my parents.”
“They’re lucky I didn’t kick both of their asses for treating you like shit. Oh, and the offer still stands for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even if we’re seeing other people by then, I still want you to join us. I want us to be friends.”
“What if you’re not seeing anyone?” Amber caught my gaze, and all I saw was hope in her eyes. “Would I be able to spend the holiday with you, in your arms, like we are right now?”
I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close. “You might find someone, Amber. I know you get offers.”
“They’ll never be you, Jax. I have yet to meet anyone that could steal my heart in such a short amount of time. You may not even grasp the extent of gratitude I feel for you. There won’t be anyone that can make me laugh, comfort my cries, and be my friend, like you do.”
“God, I still want to be your friend. I’m just afraid I’ll fuck this all up. I can’t make you promises when you’re so far away. I’ll try to be there, whenever you need me.”
This sucked so much. I didn’t mean to bring her back to my place to get into this deep conversation about our demise. If she only knew I was searching for a way to make it work. “I’ll understand if you think it’s best we cut ties now.”
Amber climbed on my lap and held onto the sides of my face as she spoke. The seriousness in her eyes told me everything I wanted to hear. “I’m going to be with you as much as I can until you have to leave. I’ll stay until you’re sick of seeing me.”
“That’s not possible.” I kissed her nose. “If I could bottle you up and keep you in a jar I would. You’re perfect, and I hate that we’re even discussing this right now, when we could be naked.”
Amber stood up and began removing clothes, extremely slowly while staring at me. “Like this, Jax?”
I nodded and watched her. “Dance for me.”
She snickered and jerked her hips side to side, while gliding her hands over them. She spun around and teased me with her plump ass, bending over and shaking it in my face. I could already feel my growing cock becoming trapped in my shorts. I reached forward and hooked her waist, pulling her back until she fell onto my lap. “Why’d you stop me?”
“Because I need to take you back to my bed and make love to you, like I’ve never done with anyone else before. I need to make sure that when this is over you’ll still think about how awesome it was when I was inside of you. Is that a good enough reason?”
When I picked her up and carried her into my room there were no words spoken. Her kisses were emotionally fueled, and I accepted every one of them. I knew what was at stake if we continued at this pace, and I didn’t care about the consequences. For as long as I was able to, I wanted to get lost in her.
Back in my bedroom, I took my time. She smelled like fresh soap, causing me to lower my body until I reached her sweet pussy. So smooth from being shaven, I ran my lips over it, followed by my chin. Her clit stuck out enough for my nose to nuzzle over it. Amber’s hand played with my hair, like she always did when I went down on her. My tongue sloshed around her hole, every once in a while teasing her little bud. Right before I knew she was about to lose control I pulled away, standing up before she could protest. Amber took one look into my eyes and shoved me down on the bed. She climbed on top of me, crawling up until she shoved her pussy in my face. I dug my fingers into the cheeks of her ass, pulling her up against me. She bucked her body, reaching up to clench her full tit. I moaned against her pussy, driving my tongue as deep as it would go, eventually fucking her with it. The rougher she moved her body, the faster I licked her, focusing on one area that I knew drove her wild. Then I felt it, her whole body tensing up while she viciously grumbled words with no meaning. As I kissed the remnants of her juices off of my face and onto her thighs, she scooted back down, kissing me hard. Her tongue was like a loaded weapon, reacting to the taste of herself. She was like a rabid animal, acting on instinct alone. Her hunger fueled her to become desperate. She peered into my eyes with dilated pupils. “How do you want it, Jax? Do you want me to be a bad girl?” Was she asking my permission to be dirty?
“Yeah, I want you to be bad.” I slid off the bed and went into my close
t, pulling out a football jersey. “Put this on.”
Amber looked down and smiled. “Seriously?”
“And the helmet.”
She reached for the helmet, lifting it off the dresser, and pulled the jersey over her tiny body. Then she stood there on the other side of the room, waiting for my next order. I tossed her a football. It was just a small one, but it would do the trick. “This is something I’ve wanted to do for a long ass time.” I crouched down and faced her. “Tackle me, baby. Take me down on this bed and fuck the hell out of me.”
“You want me to run into you?”
“As hard as you can.” I threw out my arms, prepared for the blow. “Take me down.”
Amber leaned forward like she was ready to lunge. “Whoa! You’ve got to count. Blue fifty-two. Say it.”
“This is stupid. I’m not doing it. You’re just seeing if I’ll do it.”
“Baby, I’m not kidding. Look at you. You’re in my jersey and helmet, your pussy is staring me right in the face. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Amber made a face, turned around and stuck her spread ass in the air. It was almost too much to bear.
“Blue fifty-two, hut hut.” She tossed me the ball and came at me fast, knocking me down flat on the bed. The wind was knocked out of me, keeping me from reacting the way I wanted to. Amber broke into a laughing fit, probably because she thought my plan was absurd. That only made me embarrassed and determined to continue this endeavor. “That was the best sack I ever had.”
I flipped her around, bearing all my weight so she couldn’t get up. The helmet fell off of her since it was so large, making it easier to look into her eyes. I brought my hands up and pinned her down. “What are you going to do now, Jax?”
I inched forward, licking over her parted lips. “I’m going to score.”
When she cracked a smile I knew she was in a playful mood. Without warning I lifted her to a standing position on the bed. When I came up to be in front of her I picked her up, shoving her against the wall so her ass sat on the top of the bedframe. Amber wrapped her legs around me, kissing me ravenously as I positioned myself to enter her. With one sharp nudge I felt the pressure of her tight walls accepting my length. My thrusts were rough as I pounded into her, listening to her squeals with each sudden jolt. Amber tucked her arms underneath of mine and held onto my shoulders from the back, keeping us extremely close to each other. Though it was hard to keep my balance standing on the mattress, I managed to stay up while grinding my ass forward and then back again. The knocking of the bedframe only turned me on more, hearing the power of my actions firsthand. Amber also reacted to the scene, becoming soaked between the legs. When I knew I was close I pulled out of her, falling down on my back on the bed, Amber started to come down with me, but I motioned for her to stop. “Hold up!” I grabbed my stiff dick and began stroking it, watching her reaction to what I was doing. “Touch yourself. Stand over me and play with that swollen pussy. I want to watch you making yourself cum.”
Jax Mitchell Page 23
