Just as she said the words, a tall, thin butler entered the foyer. He drew back at the sight of Jack.
“I’m so sorry, my lady, I didn’t realize we had additional company,” the servant said. “May I take your coat, sir?”
“No,” Letitia said at the same moment Jack shrugged from the jacket and handed it over with a smile.
“Thank you, my good man.”
The butler blinked at Letitia, waiting for her orders, and she let out her breath in a frustrated huff. “Oh good God,” she muttered. “Mr. Blackwood and I are going to the parlor, Crosby. We are not to be disturbed.”
“Shall, I send in additional tea or cakes, my lady?” the butler asked, shooting Jack increasingly concerned glances.
“No,” she hissed as she turned on her heel. “Mr. Blackwood won’t be staying long.”
She stomped away toward an open door and Jack shot Crosby a wink. “Women,” he said with a laugh.
“I-I—” the servant stammered, frowning as Jack followed Letitia into the parlor.
She was standing at the door as he entered and did as she had with the front door, slamming it behind him with all her might. He glanced at her as she paced past him. They were alone now. Behind a closed door. With an order not to be disturbed.
Didn’t she know what temptation that offered?
Perhaps she did, if appearances with her previous gentleman caller were to be believed.
“So, Letitia,” he began, moving toward the sideboard where he looked over the cakes that had apparently been laid out for her welcomed guest.
She spun on him. “No, it is my turn to speak. How in the world do you know where I live?”
He took a bite of a chocolate biscuit and chewed it thoughtfully, letting her stew as he ate. Finally, he said, “Unlike my own, the details of your whereabouts are not hidden. They are common knowledge. It took me less than two minutes to determine them.”
Her lips pressed together, thinning them. He frowned, as he preferred them full and kissable. Did the other man as well? Had he sampled those lips just as Jack had the night before?
Did it matter?
“Then answer my first question,” she said, slightly breathless. “Why did you come here?”
“I thought I had done so already. Weren’t you paying attention?”
“You claimed you came to apologize,” she said, her voice growing softer. “But I don’t believe that. I doubt you would apologize to anyone, but least of all me.”
He tensed. “Why least of all you?”
For a moment, she held his stare, but then she broke away, walking to the fireplace where she busied herself stoking the flames. “I am meaningless to you, I’m sure, Mr. Blackwood.”
He said nothing. She should be meaningless to him, and yet she had been in his mind since she unleashed the storm of her anger on him at his brother’s wedding ball. She had infected his thoughts. Even kissing her hadn’t stopped the torrent of unwanted desires that seemed to accompany this entirely unsuitable woman.
“I came here, didn’t I?” he said. “Does that tell you something?”
She straightened up with a gasp and faced him once more, her mouth slightly open, her eyes focused on him. He realized how serious he had sounded when he said those words, and forced himself to grin and act like it didn’t matter.
“At any rate, I found myself in front of your door, thinking I had offended you by taking liberties, by acting untoward as I am want to do. And what do I see but a man entering and exiting your abode. One you greeted and said farewell to with such intimacy. I was shocked to think that the very proper Lady Letitia would ever take a lover.”
Her cheeks were apple red now, the blush disappearing beneath the modest neckline of her blue gown. He wondered briefly just how low that color went, but shoved the thoughts away.
“You couldn’t be more wrong in your vile assumptions,” she said, setting the fire poker back in its place and walking toward him.
“Vile? Oh, then he isn’t doing it right, my lady,” he said, pushing her continuously even though he didn’t understand why. It was like he couldn’t stop now that he had started. He had to keep pushing.
She fisted her hands at her sides. “Not that I owe you any explanation, but the man you saw here today was Aaron Condit. He was my late husband’s solicitor and his…his friend.”
There was something in her tone that made Jack doubt her. And the jealousy he hadn’t earned, didn’t deserve, swelled in his chest even higher.
“You have been in Society long enough to know that just because a man was your husband’s friend doesn’t preclude him from being in your bed, my lady. Not after the man’s death. Hell, not before.”
Just as she had in the carriage the night before, she swung at him. He could have caught her hand again, but this time he didn’t stop her. Her palm hit his cheek with a loud thwack and the slight sting spread through his face. She could hardly harm a fly, but the message she sent was perfectly clear.
She held his gaze without hesitation, possibly for the first time since they met, and her eyes shone with tears. “You know nothing. You certainly don’t know me.”
He tilted his head. “Are you saying I shouldn’t have been surprised that you would take a lover?”
She recoiled and turned her back. Her shoulders slumped almost in defeat and her voice was very quiet as she said, “Just leave me alone, Mr. Blackwood. And leave my brother alone as well.”
He stared at her, knowing he should leave, as he’d known he should leave from the moment he rode up to her door. And yet he was drawn to her. He’d hurt her. And he’d meant to do it, as some kind of recompense for seeing her with another man.
But now that he had, there was no triumph to it. He never wanted to do it again. And he wanted to lay a balm on the injury he’d already caused.
Why and how was that possible? He never gave a damn about anyone. Especially silly titled ladies. They were only worth the baubles they would give or he could steal.
And yet this one’s baubles didn’t interest him as much as her face did.
He circled her, coming to a stop when he looked at her head-on again. She lifted her chin, looking at him and letting him see her crumpled, pained expression. Without thinking, he lifted his hand to touch her chin, sliding his bare fingers along the satiny flesh there.
“I have no control over what your brother does, Letitia,” he said softly.
Her gaze had softened as he touched her, and it emboldened him. He smoothed the pad of his thumb over her full bottom lip, feeling the slightest hint of moisture there. It woke a longing in him that he didn’t understand, didn’t want, and couldn’t deny all at once.
He leaned down, waiting for her to stop him. When she didn’t, he touched his mouth to hers. She made a soft sound in her throat and her arms wound around his neck to draw him closer. Her mouth opened immediately this time and he delved in, tasting her, testing her. She met his stokes with her own, timid at first, but gaining certainty as his arms tightened around her slender waist.
He wanted her so desperately. He wanted to strip her of her gown and lay her out in front of the fire. He wanted to explore her with his mouth, his tongue, his fingers and finally, his cock. The hard cock that was throbbing beneath the flap of his trousers, demanding release.
He pulled away instead. There was one thing he never lost and that was his control. Right now it felt thin as a razorblade and just as dangerous and cutting. He continued to hold her, staring down into her upturned face. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her. She was trembling with the force of it, even though he knew she would deny those urges if asked.
“I don’t have a lover,” she whispered, blinking like she was confused.
He knew how she felt. He didn’t feel exactly stable either. He released her from his embrace at last and stepped back.
“It’s a shame if that is true, Letitia,” he said, unable to stop his words any more than h
e’d been able to stop himself from kissing her. “A woman like you should be conquered, pleasured, given to and taken from.”
Her lips parted in surprise and he groaned. Goddamn it, but she was like fire and he didn’t care. He wanted to be burned right now more than he had ever wanted anything.
Instead he moved to the door of the parlor. “It seems I have as little control over myself as I do over your brother,” he said. “And I should go before I lose what I have left. Good afternoon, my lady. And…”
He trailed off. She moved toward him a step. “And?”
He squeezed his eyes shut at the break in her voice, a telltale sign of the weakness that matched his own.
“And I’m sorry,” he said. “I was cruel and you didn’t deserve that. I have no expectation you can forgive me. Good day.”
He left then, fled the house without waiting for the jacket he had left for the servant. He met the groom halfway to the stable and swung up on his mount wordlessly before he thundered away. Away from the house behind him, away from the woman inside of it. But he couldn’t ride away from the need that had begun inside of him.
A need he feared would not be fulfilled until he had Letitia in his bed. A need that was impossible to say the least.
Chapter Seven
It had been two days since her encounter with Jack Blackwood, but Letty still saw his face everywhere she went. Currently she was certain he was lurking in the reflection in the cup of tea she held. She stared into the liquid, hating that she was so preoccupied by such a devilish man.
“Letty?”
She jerked at the sound of her name and lifted her face to find that Audrey, Claire, Juliet, Mary and Josie were all watching her. She blushed.
“Oh dear, was I woolgathering?” she asked, knowing the answer.
“Yes,” Mary said with a kind smile. “We’ve said your name three times to no avail.”
Letty set her cup aside with a sigh. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Audrey insisted. “It’s clear you are distracted by very serious thoughts. Perhaps we can help in some way?”
Letty bit her lip. Although she had spoken to Aaron about this subject a few days ago, his male perspective on the situation wasn’t quite as comforting as she knew her cousins could be. It was so very tempting to allow the truth, the whole truth, to boil over.
Except she couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t reveal her late husband’s secrets. The fact that Jack Blackwood was the man who haunted her every thought was also not something she could say. Claire would certainly tell War and word would get back to Jack.
Humiliation would be the only result, to say the least. How he would crow.
“Letty?” Juliet pressed, leaning closer. “You’re roaming away in your mind again.”
Letty shook her head. “I’m sorry. It’s truly nothing serious, I assure you. Nothing I want to trouble you all about.”
Claire leaned forward and caught her hands. “Dearest Letty,” she began, her tone low. “If there is one thing this family has learned, it is that secrets are far more damaging than even the darkest truth. I understand your not feeling comfortable sharing, and I certainly would be the last person to press if you insist on keeping your counsel, but I don’t want to see you rot from the inside with whatever you carry.”
Rot from the inside. It was an apt description of how Letty sometimes felt, holding back the truth from everyone. Knowing that same truth would ultimately keep her from her own future just as much as it had destroyed her past.
She shook her head slowly. Her cousins were sympathetic, non-judgmental people. Couldn’t she tell them some portion of the truth? Maybe if she said some of it out loud, it would have less power over her.
“As you well know, my husband has now been gone just around eighteen months,” she began slowly. “Although my mother has insisted I exit my mourning and is encouraging me to seek out another husband, I don’t know that…” She hesitated. This was where she would have to be careful. “I don’t know that I’m ready to think about marriage again. Perhaps I never will be.”
“You loved Noah,” Mary said softly.
“Yes,” Letty said simply.
It was the truth. Oh, it hadn’t been the kind of love any of her cousins shared with their spouses. That all-consuming, passionate connection seemed very foreign to Letty. But she had loved Noah. She knew he had loved her too, in his own way.
“I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to lose him,” Juliet said, shivering. “If I were to lose Gabriel—”
“I don’t think I would ever marry again if Evan were gone,” Josie whispered, her eyes welling with tears at just the thought.
“Nor Jude,” Audrey said.
Mary shivered. “I cannot even think of a time when Edward isn’t here for me.”
Claire held her gaze evenly, and there was understanding in her stare that the others didn’t have. Claire had experienced loss before, Claire had suffered grief and pain. She knew better what Letty had endured and what moving on looked like.
“You survived,” Claire said in a soft, even tone that held enormous power. “You are not in the grave with him.”
Letty jerked out a nod. “Oh, I know. And I suppose that is where my problem lies. I am not interested in marriage at this point, even if I did have a suitor, which I do not. That doesn’t mean I am not…lonely.”
She said that last sentence and the truth of it hit her so hard she almost lost her breath. She was lonely. Painfully lonely. And she had been for many years, far longer than the mourning period Society dictated. Her marriage had been lonely, her life before it had been lonely.
And now it was all coming to a head, thanks to one impish criminal and his careless kisses that made her see how stark and empty her life truly was.
“Of course you are lonely,” Josie breathed, sliding over next to Letty and wrapping an arm around her for a hug. “How selfish of us not to realize how keenly you feel that. What can we do to ease the pain? Invite you to more events?”
Mary nodded swiftly. “Or perhaps Edward and I could introduce you to more people?”
Audrey and Claire exchanged a quick look, and then Audrey said, “Josie, Mary, I think she means she is lonely, er…in the bedroom. Is that correct, Letty?”
Letty nodded as her thoughts strayed to nights when she and Noah had laid in the bed in her chamber and he’d just smoothed her hair so gently. It had been almost perfect.
“Well, yes,” she admitted with a blush. “Although what Josie and Mary implied is what I often feel, what Audrey says is true also. Someone suggested I take a lover…” She trailed off with a humorless laugh as she thought of what Jack had said to her after he kissed her senseless.
It’s a shame if that is true, Letitia. A woman like you should be conquered, pleasured, given to and taken from.
She had repeated those two sentences in her head so many times that she could all but hear them echoing in her mind, spoken in Jack’s deep, seductive voice.
She blinked to clear her mind and found that the five women were all looking at her again, this time in various levels of contemplation.
“You know, it isn’t the worst idea,” Mary said, surprising Letty by breaking the silence.
Letty’s mouth dropped open in shock as she pushed from the settee and backed away from the others. “You cannot be serious.”
“Mary is correct, though I never would have thought she’d have such scandal in her,” Audrey said with a laugh. “Brava, Mary!”
Mary waved off her support with a blush.
“You are a widow,” Juliet said. “Even I know the rules of Society are much more lax when it comes to your conduct, especially if you are discreet in your arrangements. And there are many very nice gentlemen who are not ready to wed or are widowers, who wouldn’t mind a dalliance. I’ve seen it many times as a healer.”
“People just tell you about things like that?” Letty said in shoc
k.
Juliet smiled and her empathetic expression drew Letty in. “As their healer, they trust me. And I have never given them any reason to regret that trust.”
Josie stood and moved toward her. Letty waited for the voice of dissent, for Josie was certainly the most quiet and demure of the women. Only when Josie caught her hands, there was a light in her eyes Letty had never seen there before.
“You and I were on the wall together a long time,” her friend said. “I don’t know what the circumstances of your marriage were, I would never think to pry. But I will say that passion is a rare and precious thing, Letty. It can help with the healing of a great many pains. You shouldn’t dismiss the possibility out of hand.”
Letty pulled away and paced to the window. “You have all gone mad.”
None of them answered, which left Letty to ponder what they’d said. They had no idea the truth, no idea that she couldn’t pursue a gentleman with this wild plan. If a man in her circle found out the truth, he might not be able to stop himself from telling it. She refused to do that to herself, to Noah, to his family.
But what about a man outside of Society? A nagging voice inside of her whispered that question, then swiftly turned her mind back to Jack. A man like him had no influence in her world. Even if she couldn’t hide the truth from him, it was less likely he could later use it against her.
And to be honest, she wasn’t sure he’d even try. Jack traded in secrets, but tawdry ones like hers? Was he that kind of man?
“You are obviously considering it,” Audrey said with a half-smile. “What is holding you back?”
“Aside from the shock of such a suggestion, I suppose I’m not certain how one would go about even arranging for such a thing,” Letty admitted, trying to picture how she would approach Jack…or any man…with this wicked proposition.
Audrey seemed to ponder that question a moment before her face lit up. “I might have something that can help with that question. One moment.”
She scurried from the room with a grin on her face. Claire moved toward Letty. “I’m almost afraid of what she has in mind.”
Seduced Page 6
