"I agree," Maggie said.
"Me, too," Isabella put in. "You need to talk to Matt, see him again, maybe go on a few more dates before you end it forever."
"That shouldn't be too big of a hardship," Liz added. "He is a gorgeous, sexy, rich professional athlete."
She gave a helpless smile. "I'm crazy, aren't I?"
"You are," Liz agreed. "And I think you know that Matt is much more than what he does for a living."
She did know that. Matt had gone to a hip-hop class with her. He'd help her stuff swag bags. He'd made friends with a group of kids she loved. He'd put up with reporters and photographers to participate in her fundraiser. He'd taken her on a yacht cruise and tried to show her she was important to him.
So what was stopping her from taking the leap?
Matt had asked her what would it take for her to trust a man? She hadn't been able to give him an answer then. Could she now?
* * *
After brunch, Julie wrestled with indecision for a few more hours. She really wanted to talk to Matt, but in the end she realized there was someone else she needed to speak to first.
She called her mom. "Hi," she said. "I need a big favor."
"What's that, honey?"
"I need Dad's phone number. Is there any chance you have it?"
Silence met her request and then she heard her mother let out a harsh breath. "Are you sure?" Alicia asked.
"Yes. I read his letters, and I need to speak to him. He's been haunting me for too long. I don't think I can move forward until I get rid of the past, and he's the past."
"I have his number. He gave it to me a few years back, hoping that one day you'd want to reach out to him. I don't know if it's still good, but you can try."
She jotted down the number on her phone. "Thanks, Mom."
"Are you calling him now?"
"I think so, if I don't lose my nerve. Is it strange that I'm so nervous to talk to my own father?"
"No, but it's kind of sad," her mother said, a heavy note in her voice. "And I know that I'm to blame for a lot of the distance between you two."
"I don't blame you, Mom. I'm a grown woman and I have been for a while. The distance between us now is obviously on me."
"Will you let me know how it goes?"
"Yes," she said. "Talk to you soon."
She hung up the phone, took a deep breath and punched in the number her mother had given her. The phone rang once, twice, three times. Her gut twisted into knots. She was about to hang up, about to tell herself she'd tried and that was enough.
And then he answered.
The familiarity of his voice brought forth an overwhelming rush of emotion.
"Hello?" he said. "Hello?"
"Dad," she finally got out. "It's me—Julie."
"Julie?" he asked in amazement. "It's really you?"
Her hand tightened on the phone. "Yes."
"Are you all right? Is everything okay with you—with your mom?"
She was startled that he would even ask about her mother and that there was concern in his voice. "We're both fine," she said haltingly. "I just thought it was time to reach out to you. I finally had a chance to read through the letters you sent me over the years."
"I didn't think you'd ever read them."
"Well, I did." She didn't want to get into the fact that her mom had kept the letters from her until recently.
"Oh, Julie," he said. "There are so many things I want to say to you. And part of me just wants to hear you talk, because I haven't heard the sound of your voice in so long."
Tears gathered in her eyes, because she felt exactly the same way. "I know."
There was another long, tense pause between them. She knew they were both afraid to speak, to say the wrong thing, but so much time had passed already, she couldn't let any more time go by.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"You're apologizing to me?" he asked, shock in his voice. "No, that's not right. I hurt you so badly. I acted selfishly, Julie. I was so unhappy in my marriage that I made some big mistakes. I have a lot of regrets."
"I don't want to talk about the past anymore." She drew in a breath. "I was just thinking that maybe we could go from here."
"I would love to go from here. I want you to meet your sisters. I talk to them about you all the time. I've followed you from afar, Julie. Your grandparents have kept me in the loop. But you made it clear you didn't want me in your life, and I wanted to respect that."
"Well, I'm changing my stance on that," she said. "And I would like to meet my sisters, but maybe not just yet. Maybe we just talk on the phone a few times before we all meet. I don't want to put them in the middle of any tension."
"I don't, either. We'll play it any way you want."
"Okay, then maybe we'll talk next Sunday."
"That long?"
"You know I'm not good with change," she said.
"Yeah, I know," he said softly. "Next Sunday it is. And Julie…"
"Yes."
"I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too, Dad." She ended the call with tears streaming down her face, but this time, they were happy tears.
* * *
Julie woke up early Monday morning, feeling energized and ready to take on her future. The phone call with her dad had definitely broken down her guard walls. She didn't know where that relationship would go, but she wasn't going to run from it anymore.
As for Matt, she still didn't know what would happen with him. There were a lot of things to work out, but she wanted to tell him about her dad. She picked up her phone and called him. It was only seven a.m., but she was hoping he was up.
"Julie?" he asked, his voice a little thick.
"I woke you up, didn't I?"
"No." He cleared his throat. "How are you?"
"I'm feeling pretty good actually."
"Really? I'm not sure how to feel about that, considering I'm here and you're there," he said dryly.
"That's not the part I'm feeling good about. I read my dad's letters yesterday, and I ended up calling him on the phone."
"No way."
"Yes. I feel like I just got over a huge hurdle in my mind."
"Why did you decide to get in touch with him?"
"It occurred to me that both my mom and dad had moved on, and I was the only one stuck in the past. So I called him, and he was as shocked as you are. We didn't discuss too much, but we're going to talk again next weekend. We'll take things slow, see where they go."
"That's great, Julie. I'm happy for you."
"It's because of you, Matt. You made me realize I was holding on way too hard to the wrong emotions. I can't live my life with anger and bitterness. I wasn't hurting my dad; I was hurting myself."
"You were. And I'm glad you've made peace with him."
"Me, too." She paused. "You were the first person I wanted to call, Matt."
"I'm glad."
"I know I didn't give you the answer you wanted the other night, and maybe it's too late—"
"It's not too late," he interrupted.
"Okay," she said with relief.
"Damn, I wish I was in the city right now," he said. "I want to really talk to you, Julie, but I have to go in like three minutes and the rest of the day is packed."
"I understand. You're busy."
"And you're busy, too," he said. "I know you have a bunch of events coming up, and you can't come down here, and I can't leave, so can we take this relationship to calls and texts for a few weeks?"
"We can do that," she said, relieved that he wanted to keep things going.
"Good. Then I'll talk to you soon."
"Soon, she promised."
* * *
Three weeks later, Julie's relationship with her father was starting to feel a little more normal. They'd had three good phone calls and their conversations were staring to be more about the present than the past. Her relationship with Matt, however, felt far more frustrating.
With their very full schedules
, it was difficult to find time to talk, and texting wasn't that great, but Julie kept telling herself to just hang on until spring training was over. Once Matt got back to San Francisco, they could have the real heart-to-heart they needed to have.
Fortunately, she had a lot of other things to concentrate on—like the walkathon.
The day of the walk, dawned with fog and a light rain, but when Julie arrived at the starting line on the Great Highway, there was still an air of excitement and determination, as if the bad weather was just another challenge to overcome. The walk would provide money for Children's Hospital, and many of the walkers had had kids who'd overcome terrible diseases or were still undergoing treatment, so no one was going to let a few sprinkles derail their fundraising efforts.
At eight o'clock, the mayor started the walk and nearly four-hundred walkers charged up the highway and along the route that would take them six miles through the windy, steep hills of San Francisco.
A mobile radio station cosponsoring the walk led the way for the first mile and then left to cover the walks going on in different counties. Throughout the morning Julie received reports and all signs pointed toward success. Towards the middle of the race, she caught a ride with one of the police cars following the racers and was thrilled to see lots of fans along the route cheering on the racers.
And then an announcement came over the radio that made her heart stop.
Tragedy had struck.
The police officer turned on his siren as they raced across the city.
* * *
"I have to go to her," Matt said, charging into Dale's stadium office an hour before game time.
Dale stared at him in surprise. "What are you talking about? Who do you need to get to?"
"Julie. There's been an accident at her walkathon. I just heard it on the radio. I have to go to San Francisco now."
"Is she hurt?" Dale asked with alarm.
"It wasn't her. It was a kid, a teenager she works with. She's going to be devastated."
"Why don't you give her a call and—"
"I did call her and text her. She hasn't responded. I'm sure she's at the hospital. Look, Dale, you know I always put the team first, but not today, not this time."
"Okay," Dale said. "Go."
He was out of the office before Dale gave the okay. In reality, it wouldn't have mattered if Dale had said no, because he was going. Julie needed him, and he needed to be there for her.
* * *
When Matt arrived at the Emergency Room at San Francisco General Hospital a little after two, he found the waiting area filled with Foundation staff members, volunteers, walkathon participants and the media. He asked one of the news crew how the injured teenager was doing. She told him they were still waiting for him to get out of surgery.
It had been hours since the accident. Julie had to be going out of her mind with worry. He pushed his way through the room, ignoring the calls of recognition, intent on only one thing and that was getting to Julie, but she was nowhere to be seen.
He walked through the waiting room and into the corridor. Then he saw her standing against the wall, her arms wrapped around her waist as if she were freezing, her face pale, her eyes red and swollen from crying.
"Julie."
She started at the sound of her name. When she saw him, shock ran through her expression. Her mouth started to tremble. She bit down on her bottom lip and started to sway.
He jogged down the hallway and opened his arms to her.
She ran into his embrace, holding on to him as if she were drowning, and she'd suddenly found a life saver.
"I've got you," he said, wanting to give her as much comfort as he could. She felt ice cold, and her body was stiff with tension, but the longer they stayed together, the more she seemed to relax.
Finally, she lifted her head and gazed at him with teary eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"I heard about the accident on the radio. How is Ben?"
"He has a broken leg, maybe some internal injuries. I'm not sure. They took him into surgery hours ago. It's been so long. That can't be good."
"Just keep thinking positively. How did it happen?"
"They were just being kids, Matt. They were tired and cold; it was raining this morning. They thought they could take a shortcut rather than just admit they wanted to stop. We have vans all along the way, so that this kind of thing doesn't happen. One of the volunteers ran after them, but Ben dashed across a side street and a car came around the corner…" Her voice faltered and she drew in a quick breath. "This walk is to help kids, not to hurt them. I feel terrible. I asked the kids from Baycrest to walk. If anything happens to Ben…"
He put a finger against her parted lips. "Don't think about that right now."
"I can't think of anything else. Waiting is really hard."
"I know. I'll wait with you."
"I still can't believe you're actually here." She paused. "I've missed you so much."
His heart swelled with emotion. "I know. I feel the same way."
"Matt—I…" Julie paused, stiffening as a doctor came down the hall. "That's Ben's surgeon."
The physician stopped in front of them. "How is he?" Julie asked, slipping her hand into Matt's as they waited for the answer.
The doctor gave her a smile. "Ben is going to be fine. He has a broken leg, a couple of fractured ribs and a concussion."
"That doesn't sound like fine," Julie interrupted.
"It will take some time to recover, but he shouldn't suffer any lasting consequences."
"Thank God," Julie said.
"I'm going to let the press know," the doctor said, proceeding down the hall.
Julie blew out a relieved breath. "I am so relieved that Ben is going to be okay."
"Me, too. Do you want to get some air?"
"More than anything. I feel like I've been in this hospital for years."
They walked down the corridor and slipped out a side door, avoiding both the Foundation staff and the press.
"I can't believe it's sunny now," Julie said, lifting her face to the sky. "And warm. It feels good."
He couldn't help but agree, but while he wanted to give her a minute to catch her breath, he also wanted to get back to their earlier conversation. "Julie, you were saying something before the doctor came out of surgery, but you didn't finish."
She turned her gaze back to his. "Right. I was saying that I missed you. And now that my head is a little clearer, I also remember that you have a game today against Kansas City. How are you possibly here?"
"I told Dale I needed to be here for you."
"And he didn't care?"
"Well, I wouldn't go that far."
"Are you in trouble?"
"I'll deal with whatever comes. I've proved my loyalty to the team. Right now, I'm more interested in you. I want to tell you something, Julie, something I should have said before—"
"Wait," she interrupted. Me first."
"Okay," he said, not sure what she wanted to say, but he liked the sparkle in her eyes.
"I love you, Matt. I've been fighting it really hard. Because loving you is kind of terrifying. But you know what's even scarier? Not having you in my life. That's unacceptable, so whatever it takes for us to be together, I am up for it. I'm in—one hundred percent." She let out a breath. "Okay, now you."
"I love you, too, Julie." He smiled at the relief that flashed through her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ear in a tender gesture. "And that is scary as hell, because you're not an easy woman."
"That's what you love about me, right?" she teased.
"It is. But what I really love about you is your heart. It's huge. And I want all of it. I'm selfish that way."
"It's already yours, Matt."
"I know I'm not offering you the easiest of lives, but I'll do everything I can to make you happy."
"I want to make you happy, too. I would rather have a limited time with you than no time at all. You've changed my life, Matt. You've woken me up, an
d I am more than ready to give us a chance to be good together." She gave him an emotional but happy smile. "So what now?"
"We could go back to your place or my place or any place," he suggested, wanting to get her alone.
She groaned. "And I really, really want to, but I have to help the staff with the clean up and then there's the press and volunteers to deal with. I'm not trying to make an excuse or postpone anything, but—"
"But you have work to do, and you wouldn't be the woman I love if you didn't follow through on your commitments."
"You understand," she said, meeting his gaze.
"I do. I should get back to Arizona, too. I'll be home in three weeks for Opening Day."
"That seems like a good day for us to kick things off. I want to come and see you play, Matt. I want to be there for you."
"I like the sound of that, but I just found out your dad is going to be throwing out the first pitch on Opening Day. I know you're talking again, but are you ready to see him in person?"
"I am," she said without hesitation. "I'll tell him I'm going to be there. Maybe he'll bring his daughters, and I'll finally meet my sisters. I actually think it would be beautifully ironic for that to happen at Opening Day."
He tipped his head. "You've really come full circle, Julie."
"It's not a circle, because I didn't end up at the same place. And that's because of you."
"I'm glad I could help. One more thing," he said. "I know I told you I might not want kids, but honestly I was just frustrated with my siblings when I said that. I can't think of anything better than a little girl who looks just like you."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure about children and about you. I'm just not sure how I'm going to make it through the next few weeks without seeing you."
"Me, either. So give me a kiss that will last until Opening Day."
He smiled. "Now that's a challenge I can't resist." He wrapped his arms around her and showed her just how much he loved her.
Chapter Fifteen
Three Weeks Later
Opening day at the ballpark was blessed with brilliant sunshine, a warm breeze and the sparkling laughter of thousands of fans eager to embrace the beginning of a new baseball season. Julie, Liz and Isabella walked down the stairs to their reserved seats behind the Cougars' dugout. Julie felt nervous, excited, as if this day was the first day of the rest of her life. She and Matt had spoken every day since he'd gone back to Arizona, sometimes more than once, and every time they talked, she fell more in love with him.
All Your Loving (Bachelors & Bridesmaids) Page 15
