It had been a rash decision on my part to pull out of the challenge. I did not discuss with my father. I knew what he would have said. True mates made for weak males. But knowing she was there, I hadn't been able to think straight. My entire focus had shifted to her and I didn't even know what she looked like, but her smell was like a drop of rain amidst a drought. Even through my frustrations over her elusiveness, I could not find it in me to regret the decision.
I had given up everything for her. My father had disowned me, furious over the situation and calling me a fool, telling me I had thrown my life away for a little ass. The man I had worshiped my entire life had turned his back on me. I was forbidden to return to the Clan and it hurt. A lot. I could only hold on to the hope that he would change his mind in time and that she was truly worth it all. If only I could find her.
To say I was frustrated was an understatement. She was everywhere and yet I had never once laid eyes on her in the months I had been in San Marco. Every time I got close, she slipped away. After nearly three months, I could only assume that she was deliberately avoiding me. But why? Finding a true mate was everything to a wolf. Our very core sought out that one person who would complete us and while culturally our society had shifted away from the disappointment of never finding one's true mate to settling for a compatible mate, it was still every wolf's desire to find that closeness and bond with a mate. I had never known how badly I wanted—no, needed—it.
There was no way that my mate did not recognize me equally as I had her. I just didn't believe that was even possible. So, every time I got close and she faded away on me, I responded to the rejection and it was awful.
I knew the moment she had left the building, and even though a part of me realized my friend was asking if I was okay, I ignored him, turning and running for the door, only to see a small dark car pull out among a cloud of dust. She was running from me. There was no mistaking it this time and the physical pain that knowledge caused was staggering. Fighting the primal need to change and give chase was the hardest thing I had ever done.
“Are you okay? Dude, what's wrong?” Chase jumped from his truck and ran over to check on me. Liam was quickly by his side.
“Patrick? What's wrong?” his brother asked.
I just shook my head, trying to clear it as much as push them away.
“I'm fine,” I said, rubbing the empty hole in my heart she had once again left behind.
“You sure? You don't look so hot, man,” Chase assured me.
“I said I'm fine,” I snapped, and turned to walk back into the Crate.
Kyle was grinning and his face fell when he looked at me. “Dammit, she eluded you again?”
I sighed, trying not to let the full extent of my frustration show, even knowing that if there was anyone on this planet who understood, it was Kyle Westin. His mate had worked side by side with him for more than two years before ever showing a sign of mating. Daily rejection was his life, but even knowing he got it, I didn't want to share my pain with him. So I just shrugged. “Safe to say she isn't ready for me to find her.”
“What do you mean?” Lily asked.
“Every time Patrick gets close to his mate, she disappears on him,” Kyle informed them.
A shared look between the girls didn't go unnoticed.
“What do you know about it?” I demanded.
“Nothing,” Lily said like I was crazy, and I felt crazy.
“I'm gonna head on,” I told Kyle.
He sighed, no doubt feeling my frustrations, and nodded. “Call me if you want to talk. This one put me through absolute hell, but I can honestly say I'd go back and do it all over again. She's worth it, I promise.” He grinned lovingly down at his beautiful mate.
“How about some Call of Duty to take your mind off things?” Chase offered.
“I will, yeah,” I said sarcastically before changing my tone. “Sounds great,” I replied, still with little enthusiasm. I really didn't want the company just then, but I couldn't tell the kid no. He meant well.
Kyle ended up blowing off the day to hang with us, too. All my frustrations and anger were geared toward kicking three Westins’ butts. After awhile I started to relax and even enjoy just hanging out with my friends, who had grown to mean more to me than my own brothers. These three men were truly everything I had wished my brothers had been. They were so close and loving. They actually cared for each other and respected one another. A simple video game, such as that, would have led to bloodshed amongst my brothers, but while the Westins were competitive with me and each other, there was no animosity. Whoever won, won, and they congratulated each other and ribbed the losers.
I counted myself lucky to be a part of it, even in a small way. Why couldn't my mate have been their lovely sister, Lily? She was a little wild and still a little young in many ways I had noticed, but she was also sweet and fun. As we’d say in Ireland, she was craic through and through. But mostly she would have made me a Westin. I sighed, wondering where that thought had come from. It wasn't that I had a bad family and I loved my clan. It was just hard not to notice the differences there, and I truly envied the close relationship the four Westin siblings had.
“Oh slam! Yes! You suck!” Chase yelled, jumping up suddenly and shaking me from my thoughts. As if on autopilot, I raised my hand as he slapped his against mine. I hadn't even been paying attention to the game we were playing, but knew from my partner’s enthusiasm we had just kicked some butt.
“Alright, alright,” Kyle said. “I've got to get back to the office. Tomorrow is the Winter Solstice run, but Friday night you're on for a rematch, and Liam and I won't go so easy on you guys next time.”
“Yeah, yeah, big words there, suit boy. No way will you two ever take me and Patrick.”
I laughed despite my melancholy mood. Chase could talk some shit. You had to love him.
“You're running with us tomorrow, right?” Liam asked me.
I sighed. I had always loved the Winter Solstice run. The longest night of the year. It was the best, but it was a pack thing.
“Wish I could, but that's a pack thing. It wouldn't be right.”
“Don't be ridiculous, Patrick. Of course you are welcome to run with us. As long as you are staying in Westin territory, as far as I'm concerned you're honorary Westin. Now I'm sure some would take exception to you showing up for a pack meeting, but I can't imagine anyone will care about the run.” His face transitioned into a rather evil grin. “Plus, all pack members are required to run tomorrow. No exceptions. If your mate is truly Westin, she'll be there.”
I didn't know how to feel about what he said. My mate would be there. She couldn't just run away from me. Well, not exactly anyway. I realized there were a lot of wolves in the Westin pack. I'm not sure anyone but Kyle probably knew for certain just how many, but a lot. In wolf form, I knew with certainty that I would hone in on her quickly despite the large number.
“We'll start with a pack meal at the pack house and then we run. Hope you'll seriously consider joining us, for dinner and the run.” Kyle added.
I nodded. “Sure, yeah. I will. Thanks.”
Nervous excitement caused goosebumps on my arms. Tomorrow night I was going to find her.
“Another round?” Liam asked after Kyle left. We spent the rest of the evening wasting away in video games. Don't get me wrong, I loved playing and hanging with the guys, but I wanted some time alone to both sulk at the earlier rejection, and to relish in the knowledge that I would see her in less than twenty-four hours.
“Do you have anything to eat around here?” Chase asked as his stomach grumbled.
“There's some crisps in the press,” I told him.
“There's some what in the where?” he asked.
I just shook my head and walked into the kitchen to grab the bag of Lay's from the cabinet next to the fridge. I threw it next to him and sat back down.
“Chips. These are called chips,” he informed me.
I rolled my eyes at him. “We will a
gree to disagree on that.”
We continued to play for several more hours.
“Last round. I'm wrecked. Gonna call it,” I informed them halfway through our current game. It was half eight at night. I was done.
“Ohhh, you suck. You suck,” Liam teased, less obnoxiously than his younger brother at the close of our final game.
I shook my head at them, suddenly sad that none of my brothers would ever tease me in such a manner. The Westins were truly a great family and they treated their pack fairly and with respect. Like they treated each other. Like family.
I had been around a lot of other packs. My father had seen to it that my brothers and I knew everyone in pack leadership for nearly every pack. We had been sent out to the best camps, schools, and eventually colleges for this purpose alone. Where other future alphas went, so did we. And we all knew that one day we would battle to take one of their lives and live that life with their mate. Having smelled my one true mate, and knowing she was out there, it felt like the fear just thinking about it.
I couldn't afford to love this pack. I couldn't afford to fit in. Life just didn't work that way. My father was pissed, yeah, but I had to believe he'd get over it and accept me back to the clan when the time came. As much as I liked the Westins, it was customary for a male wolf to find his mate and bring her back to his pack, not follow her to another pack. That could be perceived as a sign of weakness, and after the mess I had made with the challenges for Kelsey, I didn't need any more ammo pointing towards weakness.
No, I would find my mate and take her home. I sighed, looking around the cottage I had grown to love. So why did it sometimes feel like I was finally home instead?
Elise
Chapter 3
My alarm sounded at four o'clock. I turned it off and rolled over, curling the blanket up to my neck, and found my sweet spot. I had been having the best dream, and still felt pulled into that sense of lulling and comfort. I wasn't moving. I didn't want to. I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep.
“Elise? Sweetheart, are you sick?”
I stretched lazily and rolled toward the voice.
“What, Mom?” I asked in a sleepy voice.
“Sweetie, it's almost noon. Kelsey just called, worried that you didn't show up for work and said you left early yesterday, not feeling well. Is everything okay?”
“Hmmm,” I sighed, not quite ready to face the world again. “I'm okay. Actually, I feel great. I think I just needed sleep. I'm so comfy, I don't want to move or get up.”
She laughed. “Okay, I'll call your brother and let him know there's to be no adulting for you today.”
I smiled. “Yes, that would be wonderful.”
“You look happy today. It warms my heart to see it.”
I frowned. “I'm sorry, Mom, I never meant to worry anyone.”
My mother gave me a knowing look. “You know, dear, I didn't handle things so well when I met your father, either.”
“What?” I shrieked. “Mom, it's not . . .”
She cut me off. “Yes, that's exactly what I thought. You've met him, haven't you?”
“Mom, no,” I tried, but even to me it didn't sound very convincing.
She laughed at me. “No sense in denying it. Moms have a way of knowing these things. Let me tell you about the first time I realized your father was my one true mate. See, we had grown up together. He was an arrogant, cocky alpha's son being groomed to take over the pack someday. Nothing he did was wrong and everyone loved him. All my eighteen years of life I hated him. Everything he did made me angry. He turned eighteen only two months before me, but he tried asking me out several times during that period. Needless to say, that didn't go over so well. He said later he was always drawn to me and that getting me riled up had been one of his favorite pastimes.”
I smiled at the picture she painted and couldn't fully reconcile my loving parents as enemies.
“Well, he did finally take no for an answer and found himself a girlfriend. Thankfully no one from this pack. He went off to college and I turned eighteen. When he came home that summer and I saw him for the first time, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I was pissed! Such a conflict between the pull of the bond between true mates and the history of the boy I knew. Needless to say, we had one rocky start.”
“Wow, why did you never tell us that? You guys always made it seem like Dad came home from college the summer after his freshman year and bam! Instant love and recognition.”
Mom laughed. “Hardly! But that's how your father likes to remember it, and quite frankly I didn't want to scare you kids with our nightmarish beginning.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I said honestly. It helped to hear that she found her happily ever after despite a rocky start. Maybe Patrick and I would have the same down the road. Much, much further down the road. “Mom, can I ask you a question?”
“Certainly. You can always ask me anything, sweetie,” she said as she sat next to me on the bed and stroked my hair while I rested my head on her shoulder.
“Does the mating call eventually just go away? I mean, what if I don't want to answer it right now? Will it still be there five, ten years down the road if we were to run into each other again?”
“Oh, E, why would you even want that? There's only ever one true mate. If you've found yours, go to him and accept it, lest you settle for a compatible mate down the road. Trust me, a compatible mate will never satisfy you the way your one true mate will . . . trust me on that!”
“Oh Mom, gross!”
She giggled. “I know the Jasper twins are back in town for the holidays. They haven't been home in a while. I always suspected . . . ”
“Mom, no. Don't bother trying to guess, but no way, no how would I ever be mated to one of those clowns!”
She frowned and I could see her brain working overtime, trying to determine just who my mate could possibly be.
“Please don't. I really don't want to discuss it. I'm mortified that you even guessed it.”
I tried to bury my head beneath my hands, but she just pried them apart and forced me to look at her. “Elise Westin, any wolf bonded to you would be one lucky man. God does not make mistakes in his pairing, despite our initial reactions to it. Go to him. Have you even spoken with him?” I shook my head no. “That's what all this recluse stuff has been about?” Tears ran down my cheeks as I nodded. “Be brave, my sweet girl, don't hide from this. It goes against everything in your nature and will only make you miserable.”
“I know, Mom, but I'm so scared,” I whispered.
She left me alone to my thoughts, telling me she would call Kyle and let him know I was home sick today. I took the time to clear my mind and instead of thinking, I quickly fell fast asleep.
The smell of smoked meat called me out of my slumber. My stomach growled as I realized I had not eaten anything that day and the sun had already set. I quickly got up and changed, went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, deciding not to bother with my hair and just throwing it up in a loose bun. I made my way out into the kitchen, but it was empty.
It hit me suddenly, the smell must be coming from the pack house next door. I dressed quickly and walked over. The pack house would most definitely be a Patrick-free safe zone. Still, at the door I gave a quick sniff, just to confirm. Sure enough, no Patrick O'Connell.
Liam saw me from across the room and waved. It looked like everyone was finishing up their meal, so I quickly grabbed a plate and joined him, along with my other siblings and parents.
“E, I think the rest did you some good today, you look beautiful,” my father complimented.
“Thanks, Dad, I'm feeling better, too.”
“I'm really glad you joined us. It wouldn't look good if a Westin was missing from a Westin Pack run.”
“Tonight?” I squeaked. “Tonight's the Winter Solstice run?”
“Yes, it is.”
I smiled. “Well, I'm glad the smell of this meat woke me in time then.”
I could see each of my family
members visibly relax. I instantly felt guilty for it. It was a pack run. I'd be safe and free of the unmentionable. I was really looking forward to it. I hadn't spent a lot of time in my fur lately and the woods had been calling to me.
“You seem happy tonight,” Lily said, giving me a hug on our way outside.
“I am, Lil. I told you I'm fine. No need to worry. I was just a little run down, that’s all.”
Still, I really didn't want to be the center of attention, so when my siblings and parents made their way to the front of the already gathering group, I hung back, thankful no one commented on it. I watched from the back of the pack as Kyle welcomed everyone. Suddenly my body began to tingle and I swore under my breath. No way could this be happening.
“I know the Winter Solstice run is a pack run, but I have invited my good friend, Patrick O'Connell of the Irish Clan, to join us tonight. Please welcome him.”
There was a polite round of applause and no one questioned his presence, but me? I wanted to just walk up and punch my stupid brother.
The second Kyle gave the signal I shifted without even removing my clothes and took off at a full sprint, dodging bodies in my path with the ease and grace my wolf always seemed to have. It wasn't long before we were head of the pack and I knew exactly where I wanted to go. Veering north I headed into the woods, jumping over the occasional small boulder or downed tree. I splashed through the creek, delighted by the cold water under my paws. There were others all around every which way I looked, but I felt alone—completely alone.
Fighting Destiny (Westin Pack Book 2) Page 2
