I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block everything out. Memories fly through my brain at the speed of light. Choices I've made, things I've done. I sob as I crawl towards my discarded lantern. Even buried in the snow, it still gives off a comforting light. My fingers grasp the warm metal. Just something to hold onto. Will it hurt?
Chapter Eleven: Asmon
I pace about my cabin, my body thrumming with unspent energy. I'm through with pouting, through with moping. Caitlin is mine, damnit. Fredrick is right. If I want her, I should fight for her. Hell, half the reason Kris keeps taking things from me is because I allow it. No more! The beast inside me roars in agreement. At least we're on the same page now.
Stalking over to the door, I throw on my jacket and head out. The storm has picked up since I've been back home. Very out of character for this time of year. Frowning, I turn my collar up against the wind and head out. I don't care as much about the cold. I feel freer out here than I do anywhere else, but something doesn't feel right in the air. There's a chill that's not supposed to be there. My stomach flops about as I traverse the snowy plain. There's just something not right.
I puzzle through it all the way to North Pole Proper. Normally I can tell what's going on, but tonight something is off. Gritting my teeth, I storm into the city, ignoring all the looks and gasps and I barrel my way through to Northport. Without bothering to knock, I burst open the door and walk inside, taking care to dust off the snow before dragging it into the foyer. I'm pissed with Kris, but his servants don't need to suffer because of his asshattery.
Storming down the hallway, I'm dismayed to see my wreckage cleared away and the decorations back up like they were never torn down. I may have to rectify that on the way out. Coming into the dining room, I stop short, trying to tamp down the rage at what took place just hours earlier. Curling my hands into fists, I look about the space, trying to find anyone.
My heart sinks as I determine Kris is in one of two rooms. I make my way to his study pleading with some unknown spirit that he's in there alone. I rip the door open and it's empty. He's in his bedroom then. I sit in the main chair and rub a weary hand over my eyes. Can I just rip her out of his bed? Am I that type of man? Yes. We are. Go get our woman. Make her ours.
"What in the sugar plum fairy are you doing in my study?"
I jerk my head up at Kris's strident tone. He's dressed in his pompous silks. Just looking at him makes me want to throttle him. Leaping up out of the chair, I stand toe to toe with Father Christmas. For once, it seems like his lackeys aren't here. Maybe for once things will finally go my way.
"I'm here for the woman."
Kris stares at me for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Caveman much?" He slides around me and sits in his chair, eyeing me warily. "She chose me, you know. So why are you here?"
I shake my head. "I want her. She's mine."
He crosses his legs, a smirk forming on his lips. "And that's why she's warming my bed as we speak?"
Growling, I stride over to him and grab him by the front of his shirt. His smile instantly turns down to a frown.
"How dare you lay your hands on me?"
"How dare you take everything from me. What gives you that right?" I counter, my fingers curling tighter into his shirt.
"If you ask me, I haven't taken enough."
There's a dangerous glint in his eyes as he stares me down. "What's left to take? Angelica, Caitlin? What more do you want?"
"I want my time back with Father. I want my brother back. I want my life back. But you can't give that to me, can you?"
I uncurl my fist and take a step back. A suspicious sheen lights his eyes, but he blinks it away before I can be sure.
"So, you can just fudge off right now if you think I'm going to let you have a moment's peace while I suffer." Kris bristles and pokes me in the chest. "Besides, look around you. You're not set up in a position to win. I'm Father Christmas, and you're just a perv that gets your rocks off by spanking women."
Growling I lift my hand and curl it into a fist. I cock my arm back to let it fly when a pair of strong hands wrap around my forearm.
"That's enough Asmon. I can't let you do this."
"Why the fuck not," I scream, straining against him.
Red sighs and holds onto me. "Christmas is doomed without him. You know that."
I turn and stare at him. "And you think Christmas is safe with him? He's a fuckup!"
"Don't talk about me like I'm not even here you re-gifted fruitcake."
"Why don't you stop being an ass for once!" Red roars, his anger blistering my ears.
I turn my head as best I can and stare at him. This is the first time I've ever heard Red so much as raise his voice at him. The steady, heated glare he's giving Kris gives me pause. That feeling of unease creeps back in. Something isn't right. I just know it. I pull against Red, desperation clouding my judgement.
"Give me back my woman. I will not ask you again."
Red's fingers dig in deeper, but I don't care. Nothing compares to the agony of my beast ramming against Red's shields, clawing deep into my brain, bellowing to be free. Kris stares at me, cold and calculating.
"What if I refuse? You can't make me give her up."
"I can sure as hell break your body."
Red's arms quiver around me, testament to how hard he's holding me back.
"Tell him Kris."
Frantic, I struggle in Red's grasp. "Tell me what?"
There's a pregnant pause. "She left."
Hissing, Kris crosses his arms. "Traitor."
Shaking his head, he suddenly lets me go. I look between him and Kris. "What do you mean she left?"
Red crosses his arms and glares at Kris for a moment before throwing his hands in the air. "She changed her mind and decided to be with you."
Elation flows through me before my entire being freezes. "How long ago was this?"
Kris continues sulking and staring into the fireplace. Ignoring his petulant attitude, I turn fully and face Red. Was she still in the city? In this house? Bile rises up my throat as I imagine the worst.
"I would say about an hour ago. Dancer took her from the dining area and led her to the door. I'm assuming she got her squared away in the inn. Did she not call you?"
Worried lines crease his forehead. My heart thumps loudly in my chest. If Dancer had anything to do with this, who knows what actually happened to Caitlin. Of all the reindeer troops, she's the one to never cross.
"No. No one notified me of anything." I whirled back around to Kris. "What the hell have you done?"
He examines his nails before pinning me with an eat-shit grin. "You mean besides pounding into her until she couldn't remember her name?"
With a roar, I leap forward and punch him hard in the face. The glorious sound of bones crunching under my knuckles fills me with such an extreme pleasure. It takes a moment before I realize that I've hit the man, and Red didn't stop me. I turn to look at him, expecting some form of reprimand. Instead, he leans against the wall with his arms crossed, watching the entire scene.
"You wilted poinsettia," Kris shrieks, holding his nose.
I stifle a laugh and lift my hand to punch him again.
"He's not worth it, Asmon. You need to go to Caitlin. I'm sure she'll fill you in on all the details.
"Oh. You mean Asmon's human?"
All three of us turn towards the door. Dancer leans against the frame, an air of lethal nonchalance rolling off her in waves.
"She was quite content when I sent her home to you Asmon. Do you mean to tell me she never arrived?"
Blood drains from my face as her words sink in.
"You sent her home? Not to the inn?"
A small smile lifts her lips. "I mentioned the inn. Yes."
"And?"
"And whether she avails herself to it or not is her prerogative. She has money to pay for it, I assume."
Red pushes past me, his face pale. "Whether or not she had the money, you saw what she was dressed in. There's no way a
ny of it would be on her."
"You're right. I didn't give her any money."
A pink tinge stains Red's face. "Either way, it wouldn't have made a difference."
"Please tell me she wasn't sent out of here naked."
"Do you think I'd let anyone, mortal or otherwise out into the streets naked?"
Sighing, I wipe a hand down my face. "You're right. I shouldn't have assumed."
"She was wearing Kris's pajamas. I dare say, red is an altogether dashing color on her," Dancer chimes in, looking all too happy to relay that bit of information.
"You're not helping the situation. Go back to base and wait for me there."
Dancer gives a slight bow before looking back up at me, a smirk twisting her pretty features.
My brain freezes. For that moment, time stands still. All I can think about is her in Kris' clothes. There's only one reason she'd be in them. Before I can punch him again, Red lays his hand on my arm. It's not constraining this time. He looks up at me, his eyes filled with sympathy. Disgusted, I shove him off. I don't need his pity.
I make my way out of the house, sending up muttered curses and half prayers that she's safe at the inn. NPP isn't massive, but she could be anywhere. Standing outside the door, I take in a deep breath. I can still smell her. Tipping my nose in the air, I follow the scent, fully expecting to follow the trail we first took coming into the city. Instead, it veers off to the left. Thank Christmas, she went to the inn.
Following the trail, the scent takes a different turn, leading up to a small house before heading back on the path. My stomach plummets as her scent grows stronger and stronger, the direction leading straight out of the city. Stupid, stupid woman. Shaking my head, I conjure her in my mind. Her delicate features fill my brain for a few moments before I lift my hand to create a portal.
Nothing. Looking down at my palm, I frown and force the thought harder. Still nothing. My stomach cramps as my body seizes. I force my hand out again and again, each time being met with the same results. Terrified, I turn back and run the entire way to Northport. Without pausing, I burst through the main door, startling Kris and Red.
"What the fuck did you do?" I scream, grabbing Kris's shirt and hauling him over to me.
His eyes widen with fear as he struggles in my grasp. "Let me guess, she changed her mind and wants me back?"
Roaring, I toss him to the ground. "You arrogant jackass. She's left the city and my portal won't work. What. The fuck. Did you do?"
Frowning, he dusts himself off and extends his palm. He closes his eyes and concentrates for a moment. No portal. Not even a blip of magic. Blood drains from my face.
“What the hell is happening?”
Kris stares at his hand for a moment before looking back up at me. "I'm not the one doing this."
"We have to find her," I croak, my voice barely a whisper.
Nodding, Kris reaches over and throws on his jacket. Any ill will I have for him vanishes in that moment. Right now, all that matters is finding Caitlin. Both Red and Kris flank me as we make our way through the town. Stares and whispers follow us, but I brush it off, holding Caitlin tight in my mind. I might not be able to make a portal, but I can still will her to be safe. I glance up at the stars and send off a wish and prayer to Kringle. We need a miracle, and maybe he's the one to grant it.
We pause at the gate. The storm is even worse than earlier. My heart drops to my stomach. How can my little mortal survive this? I stick my nose out and scent the air. Nothing. I can't smell anything in all this ice and snow. On my right, Kris buttons up his jacket and adjusts his lantern. To my left, Red starts pulling off his clothes. Lips set into a firm line, I start to remove mine as well. The beast dances about, elated to be set free.
"For what it's worth, I never meant for her to get hurt."
I stare at Kris, not trusting myself to say a word. Closing my eyes, I let my beast free. Fur ripples across my body. My legs lengthen and turn into hooves. Last are my horns. They push through and complete the transformation. Gasps and shrieks sound off behind me from the small gathering of curious elves. Looking back, I raise up my arms and roar at them, sending them scattering. Kris chuckles but tries to hide it behind a cough. That small moment breaks the tension between us. Even Red has a twinkle in his eye.
In reindeer form, he's almost at my chest. His horns stretch up into the night sky. Shaking his head, he lowers his neck and ambles out into the snow. I touch his side, and he looks over at me.
"Thank you."
He nods, his antlers almost knocking into the arch of the gate. Once he slips into the night, I eye Kris. His face is serious, his body tense. Hopefully, he won't betray me. Digging into his coat, he hands me a flare.
"If you find her, fire this. We will come to you. Watch for mine or Red's. He strapped his to his body before shifting."
I take the flare and grasp his arm. "Don't betray me."
"I won't. Not with this."
Determined, we both slip out into the night. With my beast in control, my sense of smell increases dramatically, but I still can't pick up on her scent. I let my eyes adjust to the night and scan the area. Nothing but white meets my gaze. Breathing deep, I start walking. In this snowstorm, it's impossible to discern anything. Caitlin could be dead for all I know. Pain lances through me at the thought of not seeing her again. Collapsing down into the snow, I fist my hair into my hands.
"Please. Please just let me find her." I search my brain, trying to come up with promise, a bargain, something to tip things in my favor. Tipping my head up to the sky, I close my eyes and whisper out into the storm. "Father Christmas, past and present, guide me. Grant me this wish." I drop my hands to my lap. "I don't ask for much. I just. I need her."
I open my eyes and start to stand up when a glint of light catches my attention. Squinting, I watch as it flashes again. Definitely not a flare. Picking myself up, I race towards it. It could be nothing, or it could be everything. I can't take a chance and not investigate. As I make my way closer, I finally pick up on her scent. Thank Christmas it's her!
I pick up my speed, lighting my flare in the process. Her smell is so strong now, but it's mixed with another scent. My blood runs cold. Up ahead, a lump of snow moves in the night. The polar bear is one of the largest I've seen. It stands on its hind legs, roaring and fuming. I drop my flare and race towards its side. Cupping my hands to my mouth I bellow a warning.
I don't want to kill it if I don't have to. It's not its fault that Caitlin looks like a nice meal on a cold day. The bear looks at me, its eyes widening. Behind me, I hear other steps approaching. A quick glance confirms it's Kris and Red. Kris saunters over to the polar bear, his hand extended. It takes a few minutes, but finally the bear drops to its front knees, bowing to Father Christmas.
With the bear out of the way, I race over to the small lump by the tree. Another figure stands huddled over her. Fear grips me as I watch this unknown person touch her. With a roar, I fling them away, not wasting time on figuring out who or what they are. The small elf squeaks as she plops into the snow. Illuminated by the dying lantern, I make out bright red hair and wide, intelligent green eyes.
I reach out to her, trying to apologize when she zips away, slinking into the snowstorm. Frowning, I watch the area she once occupied, thinking that I'll be able to catch another glimpse if I just wait long enough, but she never appears again. With a frustrated snort, I turn my attentions back to Caitlin. She lies there in the snow, her body wrapped up as much as possible in a thick fur coat. Her face is pale. Grabbing the lantern, I hold it up to her, a smile crossing my face. She's here. She's actually here.
Her skin is like ice when I brush my fingers across her cheek. She doesn't even stir at my touch. Panicked, I set the lantern down and grab her in my arms. Not once does she move.
"Caitlin. Caitlin speak to me. Please. Caitlin!"
I shake her about, trying to get a response. I place my head against her chest, thankfully hearing a heartbeat, but it's sluggish. R
ed snorts next to me and motions with his head towards his back.
"Let Red take her Northport. It's closer than your house. We'll get her fixed up. I promise you." Kris leans down to touch my shoulder.
I clutch her in my arms, not wanting to leave her side for a moment. Fear and desperation war within me.
"Please Asmon. Let me make this right."
Snapping into gear, I toss Caitlin facedown onto Red's back while Kris lays straps across her to hold her in place.
"Don't you dare drop her," I growl, watching closely as Kris tightens the last strap.
As well as a reindeer can, Red rolls his eyes and takes off into the night. I watch, helpless, as my future once again disappears into the night. Kris smacks my back, drawing me out of my stupor.
"Come on, you’re not going to let that showoff beat us, are you?"
Kris takes off in a dash, leaving me bewildered. Who the hell is this and what has he done to Kris? Shaking my head, I tromp after him. The polar bear, finally free of Kris's power, lopes off into the trees. The wind whips me as I race after Red. The only thing I can think about is how pale she looked lying in the dark fur. I should be grateful that the Fathers led to me to her, but my heart is still beating out a frantic staccato. They wouldn't let me find her only to take her away, would they?
The cynical part of my brain says yes. Until Kringle, no Claus ever gave a damn about us. It would be fitting to have her die in my arms. I push that thought out of my brain and focus on what I can do in this moment. Hopefully just being in Northport will be enough to revive her, but as a mortal, it's chancy. My thoughts race as fast as my legs, and soon, I'm passing through the gate. I pause to shift back into human form, willing the illusion of clothing into my body. I've already scared the elves once today, no need to do it again.
Kris stumbles in right after me, his cheeks pink with exertion.
"Jingle balls," he mutters, taking in huge gulps of air. "I was sure I'd win."
I blink down at him. "This was a race?"
"I thought maybe it could be like old times."
I shake my head and continue to Northport. His words strike a chord in me, and I finally understand what's happening.
Nice: A Dark Christmas Duet book 1 Page 14
