When Bristol leaves the room I’m wired. I pick up my cell phone and start to call Perry, until I remember what time it is, and the fact that she’s asked me to give her space. Then I’m left miserable, and pondering how I’m supposed to see her and not want more.
It’s a pain in the ass.
Chapter 18
It’s been over a week since I’ve seen or heard from Buck. Ten whole days without the feel of his touch. Just thinking about it gives me chills. I miss him, but know he’s keeping his distance like I’ve asked.
In that time I’ve managed to pack up my house and convert the old storage room in the bar into a makeshift bedroom for me to stay in. It’s going to suck when I’m off and have to hear the music, but at least I know I’ll have a good ten to twelve hours of silence once the tavern closes.
In the past ten days I’ve had to speak with my father, and agree to one dinner with Peter and Nick so they’d both leave me alone about it.
Tonight is the big event. After work I’m going to put on a smile and pretend all is well with the world for a couple of hours. I’m not doing this because it’s what I want. I’m doing it so I don’t lose my son to his lying bastard of a father.
I’ve been at the tavern for a few hours, but since it’s spring it’s been dead. My other bartender won’t arrive for a while, so I decide to make the best of my time and do inventory. I sit down on the floor behind the bar with my clipboard and begin checking my liquor to see what I’ll need to order.
The sound of the door alarms me someone has entered. I take my time standing, because I’m used to the regulars and don’t worry about offending someone by being prompt. When I’m on my feet I look around but see no one. Not at first.
I feel someone behind me, start to spin, but am prevented by strong hands around my waist. I’m startled until I hear his sexy voice speaking close to my ear. “I couldn’t stay away. You’re all I keep thinking about.”
I close my eyes and pretend we’re in another life where problems don’t surround us. For ten days I’ve done nothing but miss this man. Pushing him away was difficult, but telling him to stop holding me is damn near impossible, especially when I wish he’d never have to let go.
“Buck.” He doesn’t let me turn around.
“Say you miss me,” he whispers against my ear.
“I have,” I manage.
His hand comes around the front of my abdomen and slips inside of my pants. His fingers dig until he’s breached my panties and cupping my neglected sex. I’m already turned on, desperate to feel something other than stress and pain. I need this, and he’s the man to make it happen. “I can’t stay away from you,” he says while his free hand shoves my t-shirt up to enable him to stroke over my breast. He keeps his lower hand moving until he’s penetrating me. I cry out, but the mellow music shields what’s happening. There’s a chance someone could come in at any moment, but neither of us seem to be worried. He’s stayed away for a week, and every night I’ve gone to bed recalling what it feels like to experience his touch.
His skilled fingers continue thrusting inside of me, all while I’m gasping and praying nothing stops him. I feel those appreciated lips mapping a trail down my neck and then finally ending at the back of my shoulder. My nipples tingle as he does it, one hardening between his two fingers. I want to kiss him, but fear that twisting around to do it will ruin the momentum. I’m on the brink. He’s bringing me to a much-needed orgasm as I grip the sides of the bar and let the man I want in my life take me to euphoria.
I don’t know what I expect when he finishes. We’ve not spoken in days, and our last conversation didn’t exactly end well. I’ve purposely pushed him away to keep him out of my drama, yet here he is, right back in the center, beckoning me to reconsider.
He pins me against the bar and places gently kisses over my chin, my cheek then finally my lips. We become engulfed in the embrace, even when we hear the sound of the door opening. I push him away to greet my customer, smiling when the person realizes who I’m kissing. “Sorry to interrupt,” Brian Groves says while sitting down. “Want me to come back?”
I wipe my lips and let out a snicker. “No. You’re fine.”
“I was just leaving,” Buck announces.
“You were?” I’m at a loss. Did he come here only to taunt me and leave me wanting more? He’s gone from being impossible to naughty and flirtatious, and it’s very attractive on him.
“Yeah. I have somewhere else I need to be. I’ll see you around, sweetness,” he whispers against my hair before kissing my head and exiting the bar the same stealth way he entered.
I’m blushing in front of Brian, prepared to receive the third degree. Instead the man orders his drink and waits a few minutes before saying anything about it. “Buck’s a nice guy. If I would have known you were available I would have snagged you up before he had the chance.”
I flash him an ornery grin. “Very funny. I’m sure your wife would appreciate that.”
“A man can try, beautiful.”
“Thanks for the compliment, Brian.”
After four beers, Brian leaves the bar. I half expect Buck to come back in, but he never does. Since I know I’m about to have an awful evening, I decide to make it a bit better.
I shoot Buck a text giving him direct instructions where to find me later.
I’m leaving the key to the bar underneath the seat of my moped. If you’re interested in picking up where we left off, meet me tonight after the place closes. Clothing optional. – Ally
I make sure it gets delivered and see that he’s read it, then await his reply.
A secret affair? I’ll take what I can get. – Buck
I’ve awoken a monster haven’t I? - Ally
I crave you. – Buck
His text makes me hot as I read it. I place my hands over my mouth and giggle like a teenager.
See you tonight. – Ally
Giddy over the idea of seeing Buck again, even though we have to sneak around for it to happen, I’m settled to get the dinner over with.
Peter has selected a popular favorite called Don’s Seafood, located on Main Street in town. It’s a local family restaurant with a bar overtop, sort of like mine, but family run, with a full shared menu and entrance for both. It’s one of my favorite places to eat on the island, and their silly slogan ‘if it smells like fish, eat it.’ brings the tourists in to purchase merchandise and try out the large selection of fresh seafood and other coastal favorites.
I’ve agreed to be picked up by Peter and Nick, so after heading home to shower and change, I wait for the car to arrive. Peter steps out and walks to the front door. He’s in a nice pair of khaki slacks and a button up plaid dress shirt. His hair is slicked back, and he’s wearing a pair of wide rimmed glasses that make him looked distinguished. He’s still attractive, and could probably have his pick of women, but somehow can’t take the hint that I’m not interested in anything he has to offer.
He holds out his arm for me to take when I open the door. Wearing a sundress and a pair of sandals, with a cardigan to keep from being chilly, I step the side and refuse the offer. “Don’t push it, Peter. I’m doing this for Nick.”
“Then I’d suggest you take my arm and stop bitching.”
I roll my eyes and walk ahead of him. He’s not going to threaten me so I listen. My days of obeying him and blaming myself are long gone.
We’re seated near the back of the restaurant, and since it’s not crowded we can see the water in the distance. Peter picks up a menu and begins complaining about the selection. “How can people eat so much seafood? Where can a guy get a nice steak around here?”
“They have steak,” I correct him and point to the item.
“It tastes like shit. I tried it last week. This island needs a Longhorn.”
Nick sits his menu to the side. He always orders the fried clams. “I’m having the usual.”
I smile and sit mine down too. “I’m going to pick the steamed shrimp. Make sure you g
et cream spinach. I know it’s your favorite,” I say with a wink.
He smiles and acknowledges that I’m right. When I glance at Peter I can tell he knows what I’m up to. I’m trying to prove that I know my son, while he only see what’s on the outside. “I chose this place because Nick said it’s his favorite. He told me we have to try the pie.”
“Yeah. You really do, Dad. Mom tries to make it, but she never gets it exactly right.”
I mess around with my fork, hoping I’ll see someone I can talk to in order to prevent having to sit here in front of the man I wished would drop from the face of the earth.
We’ve ordered our food, and made our salads at the fresh bar, before another few families come in to eat. Out of the corner of my eye I see a familiar figure and turn when I think my mind is playing tricks on me.
Buck enters the restaurant with his daughter and the twins. They’re seated at the table behind Peter, making it easy for me to glance up without him knowing what I’m looking at. Buck’s eyes meet mine and my body ignites with passion. It takes everything in me to keep my composure.
Peter is talking about his new place that’s located on Wallops Island, only a few miles outside of Chincoteague. He and Nick are explaining what they plan on changing to the home, while I steal quick glances with Buck.
Our food comes next, and I’m a little excited because I know we’re halfway done this charade of a family dinner. It’s not until Buck stands and heads toward the men’s room that I feel the need to excuse myself. I check behind me to make sure no one is watching before placing my hand on the men’s room door. Much to my surprise I feel someone grabbing me from the opposite direction and pulling me inside. Buck stares into my eyes while locking the door the ladies bathroom. “God, you look beautiful,” he mumbles against my eager lips. “What are you doing here with him?”
“Trying to keep the peace,” I say between his welcomed kisses. “Please don’t hate me.”
“Sweetness, I want you too much to hate you. Are we still on for tonight?”
“I hope so.”
He kisses me slowly at first, then sweeps me into his arms and presses me against the porcelain sink. My legs wrap around his back as we get carried away in each other. I’m panting when we stop for air. “You better get back out there.”
“Wait until I’m sitting,” I request.
He points to his groin. “That’s not going to be a problem, I think I need a few minutes.”
I kiss him one more time, holding my lips against his extra long. “The hardest part of walking away from this is knowing how perfect I feel when I’m in your arms.”
He slaps me on the ass. “See you later. Keep the dress on. I’m going to enjoy helping you out of it.”
The worst part of knowing what’s to come with Buck, is having to pretend I’m comfortable while still in the company of Peter. As much as I want to make an attempt for Nick, I can’t go against my better judgment, even if Peter insists he’s changed.
I don’t know how it’s possible, but Peter never mentions seeing Buck, and for that I’m thankful. I don’t want to have to explain being in the bathroom for nearly five minutes with a man I’ve promised to stay away from, nor do I want any of Buck’s children in danger because of my psychotic ex.
As we finish dinner, I wish I would have let Buck press charges for assault when he had the opportunity. Peter would be locked up and I’d figure a way to get through to Nick without having him leave home. Instead I’ve only allowed my enemy to swoop in and become the idol to a boy who is desperate to have a father in his life.
After dinner, which Peter foots the bill, they drive me back to my house. Nick says goodbye in the vehicle, while Peter gets out to walk me to the front door. “This isn’t necessary,” I tell him on the way.
“Nonsense.”
Once we’re there, I spin around and address the situation. “I’ve done what you asked of me. I stopped seeing Buck and agreed to be cordial with you for Nick. That’s all this is, Peter. You’re not going to change my mind. I wish you’d move on and find someone else. This isn’t fair to either of us.”
He brings his hand up and brushes my cheek. “You’ll come back to me, because if you don’t, I’ll make sure you’re left with a son that hates your guts.”
I’m immediately emotional, but do my best to hold in the anger. “Why? What have I ever done that was so bad?”
“You left. You had your lawyer serve me with papers behind bars. You kept my son from me and wouldn’t accept my letters.”
“You beat me,” I whimper. “You beat me until I hated myself. You left me no choice. Please, if you ever loved me at all, you’ll stop this. Have a relationship with Nick, but leave me out of it. I’ve suffered enough.”
He laughs at this. “You’ve had enough? Alice has had enough. Do you have any idea how much you’ve ruined my life? I had potential until you flashed your little island pussy in my direction. You trapped me to get away from your family. You knew if you got pregnant you’d have a way out of this town you hated so much. You ruined my life. Everything that happens from here on is your doing, Alice. You did this to yourself.” He starts to walk away, but stops and comes back, standing way too close for comfort. “You deserved every single beating you ever got from me. You’re trash. You’ll never be anything more.” Then he leans forward while I’m rendered speechless, and crippled by his hateful words and kisses me on the cheek. “You think I didn’t see you sneak into the bathroom with your friend at the restaurant? Do you peg me for a fool?”
“No. We were talking. He asked me if I was okay. I told him I was having dinner as a family.”
“Lies. They pour out of your mouth like a broken faucet.”
“It’s true. I’m not seeing Buck anymore. He just likes to look out for people. I told him I was fine.”
“Remember what I told you about seeing him, Alice. I’d hate for something to happen to that little blonde he was with tonight.”
“Peter, no. Leave them out of this.” I’m petrified of this man and now he’s threatening to harm Bristol.
“I’ll see you soon, my love.” He winks before going.
I run in the house and lock the door behind me, praying he won’t say anything more. My body trembles, I’m weak and disgraced. I fall to the floor and sob because I can’t get away from this. I’ll never be rid of this terrible person unless I face my own demons.
I pull out my phone, shaking profusely and dial Buck’s number, praying I’m not interrupting his time with his family. He answers on the second ring. “Hey, sweetness. You okay?”
“I can’t see you tonight,” I manage to get out through my tears.
“Where are you?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m fine. We can’t do this right now.”
“Did he hurt you?”
I shake my head, though he’s unable to see. “Not physically.”
“Come to me. Come to my house, Perry.”
“I can’t involve you, Buck. Please stay away.”
“You’re asking the impossible.”
I’m barely able to speak words at this point. “Stay away from me, Buck. Promise you will.”
The line goes dead. I’m not sure if he’s angry, but I can’t worry about it. His safety is a priority to me.
Because I’m still concerned about Peter’s threats, I decide to do the unthinkable in order to protect anyone else from his wrath. He answers on the first ring. “Hello, dear. Are you calling to thank me for dinner again?”
I close my eyes as I respond. “If that’s what you want.” My teeth grit together as I fight the urge to wish his immediate death.
“Oh, you know what I want, love.”
My mind is telling me not to do it. Even the idea of doing it makes me want to commit suicide, but it’s not about me. “If you want me you can have me, as long as you leave Buck and his family alone.”
“Does that mean you’ll be moving into the new place with us?”
Of course thi
s is the end game. He wants to torture me, break me down until I’m nothing but broken bones and shattered dreams. I keep my eyes closed, snot is running down against my lips, and my teeth chatter as I attempt to speak. I’m disgusted with myself. “Yes.”
“Good. We’ll chat about it tomorrow. Everything is going to work out, Alice. You’ll see. We’ll be happy again.”
I hang up from the call and let the phone fall from my hand. Nothing has ever hurt me this badly before, not even the damage of my past.
My phone is ringing again, but I refuse to pick it up. Peter has what he came for. He’s threatened someone I care about, so I’ll have no choice but to obey.
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m on my moped driving as fast and out of control as possible. I can’t get away from the abuse. No matter where I go it follows me like a curse. I want to be free and feel there’s no other way to make it happen.
The trailer park at the furthest end of the island has a an old broken down pier. I’ve envisioned this happening since I was a teenager. So many times I’ve considered this ending to my suffering.
I accelerate as the moped begins it’s trail over the decimated wooden planks until there aren’t any left. Then I close my eyes and fly, recalling every beautiful memory, my son, my tavern, my grandmother’s laugh, and lastly Buck.
Chapter 19
I’ve been scouring the island for nearly an hour, going to every single place I can think she’d go to hide. Perry wasn’t in any condition to drive when we last spoke. I’ve never heard her so distraught. Something freaked her out, or more like someone. I don’t know what he said, but I’m determined to find her and help her calm down.
I’m getting more worried by the second. She’s nowhere to be found. I’ve even started visiting each of her regular customer’s houses thinking she might be hiding there. Her parent’s place is empty. The tavern is crowded with people, but not her moped. I check motels, the firehouse, and even other bars she might go to. I drive to the park, and bribe one of the rangers to let me check out Assateague Island to see if she snuck over there on her moped.
Salt Water Wounds (Oyster Cove #1) Page 16
