“Yes,” Mr. Griffith’s dark eyes reflect my sadness. “That cannot be changed. But he is here, safe and cared for, and that is because of you, Grace. You saved him.”
“Saved him?” I spit as I say it. “I killed him!”
“No. The gunman is the one who killed him. Sadly, Kobe wasn’t his first victim. But apparently he will be his last, again thanks to you.”
I remember ordering the shooter to give himself and his gang up to police. “I wanted to kill him,” I say—another challenge for Mr. Griffith’s misplaced faith in me. He should kick me out. It doesn’t feel like Heaven up here anyway—not without Josh to kiss away my tears.
“Of course. But you didn’t. It’s only natural to be angry.” Mr. Griffith settles back in the chair with his signature, comforting smile, which I suddenly find infuriating.
Then I register his words. “Kobe’s here?” I ask. “So I can talk to him? I have to apologize.”
“He’s with his greeter right now, but yes, he is here. You may spend as much time as you like with him. He’s quite the boy—so conflicted, yet he didn’t hesitate to sacrifice himself for your safety.”
I sniffle, my tears finally drying. “Why did you send me there?” I ask. “You said it would lift my spirits.” I’m getting angry again. My stomach flips, making me feel like I’m on a roller coaster.
“Did it?” he asks.
I shuffle around in my seat, trying to get comfortable. “It did. Until he died.” Here come the tears again.
“That was out of our control. And before you argue, no, you couldn’t have saved him. It was going to happen whether you were there or not.”
“So you knew? How? Why? Why didn’t you stop it if you knew?” My head is too full to contemplate the questions I’m asking. “No. Don’t answer that. Just…why send me?”
“Because he needed you to be his Guardian Angel, Grace. It was a desperate situation, and you know that. You found him because the darkness inside of him labeled him as a potential future Antichrist.” He leans in again and a sparrow lands on the table by his arm, picking at a biscotti. “If you hadn’t been there for him, he may have ended up elsewhere for all eternity.”
I nod, staring at the bird. I wish I could be happy with just the cookies and coffee, but I’m an Angel in Heaven and I still can’t give Kobe back his life, or make Keira go away, or get Josh to love me. “I hate that you let him die. I know you’re not supposed to mess with humans. But if you know a person is going to die… I can’t do that again. I’m not cut out for this. Ms. A picked me to be Cam’s Guardian Angel because she knew I’d fail, Mr. Griffith. Why prolong the mistake?”
“Grace, you’re a Guardian Angel because you’re meant to be.”
“So if I’m meant to do this, then it doesn’t matter that I broke your favorite rule?” My stomach twists harder and I conjure myself some ginger ale.
“You’re talking about your choice to defy my instruction and visit your family?”
“Just Noah.” My heart breaks again when I say his name. “I suppose you knew about him and the Demon, then? What’s the point of any of this? Why wouldn’t you let me intervene sooner? I could’ve done something, I could’ve—”
“No.” Mr. Griffith slams a hand on the table and the bird flies away with a cry. “You couldn’t have. It wasn’t a Demon who changed Noah, Grace.”
I doubt that. It seems Keira is my own personal tormentor.
“Noah is a good person. He’s hurt. I didn’t know how he felt about me. If I’d thought he was jealous, I would’ve included him more. But he doesn’t realize that he’s hurting because I’m gone.”
“When people die, they aren’t allowed back for a reason. Think about what life would be like if it was filled with the ghosts of the dead. No one would live for the time they have. They’d be too focused on the afterlife.”
I swallow back the thickness in my throat. “Noah’s just one person. Why can’t I have a chance when it’s this important?”
“Because it wouldn’t matter what you say or do. With Kobe, it mattered. With family? The connection is too complicated. To Kobe, you were a kind person, which is exactly what he needed. To Noah, you’re a ghost he already has complex feelings about. You are having a hard time believing the truth, because he is your family. But you need to listen to me, Grace. Noah makes his own choices. I know you don’t want to hear it, but he’s on a bad path. It’s hard to tell you this, but you’ve made things worse.”
“Worse? Me? But Keira isn’t a problem? If I’m so poisonous to my family then why didn’t you just say that?” He seems to think I’m some kind of porcelain doll, primed to shatter if I hear the truth.
Mr. Griffith stands and the wind picks up on the perfect little street. “I have said it. Several times, several different ways, including just now, and you still won’t believe me.”
I deflate. “What now?” I ask, wanting to go to my room and take a long, hot shower.
“Now? You deal with the repercussions of your choice to defy instruction.”
I twirl the ends of my hair and try to hold back more tears. Did he decide I’m more trouble than I’m worth? “Are you throwing me from Heaven?” I ask.
“This is your first offense. Break another rule and I will have no other recourse. Now, you are forbidden from seeing your family anymore, Grace. That is the consequence and you knew that when you made the decision.”
“You can’t take them from me! I’ll go back anyway!” I stand to meet him, but I’m nowhere near his height.
“You won’t be going down to Earth for a bit. I’m taking you off Antichrist duty for now as well.” Mr. Griffith’s voice softens again.
I look at him, shocked. A bit? So it’s not permanent? I’ll visit them as soon as he lets me go back—rules be damned.
I clear my throat. “So I don’t have to work with Josh anymore? I don’t have to deal with situations like Kobe’s anymore?” It’s what I wanted, but I can’t imagine not having met Kobe. And now I have no excuse to see Josh. Ever.
Mr. Griffith sits again and takes a bite of a cookie. “You can take the time you should have had before to get accustomed to your afterlife. Get to know some of the other souls and Angels.” Mr. Griffith stands, but as I rise, he catches my shoulder. “But Grace, don’t give up on Josh yet. Not if you want to be with him.”
I still can’t completely stop crying. Maybe I did give up too fast. Maybe it was too hard to let go of the hurt from all Josh did. I know one thing, though—I can’t picture surviving another day, much less an eternity, without him, especially if I don’t have my family.
“It’s for the best, Grace,” Mr. Griffith’s voice swims in my head as exhaustion sets in from everything I’ve been through today.
“I need to get some rest now,” I say, knees wobbling.
Without another word, I exit the café and take the passage back to my room. Josh’s silly mismatched couch greets me. I’ve made my new room a carbon copy of the one we shared. It wouldn’t feel like home without the couch. He doesn’t have to know.
I sink back into the soft leather and conjure myself a cotton throw and a pillow before snuggling up with Tommy Two. My head pounds and my stomach is only questionably better. I should go find Kobe. I should let him beat me up or whatever he feels like doing to me. I owe him that. But Mr. Griffith said he was with his greeter. And, if I’m honest with myself, I feel like too much of a coward. What if he does blame me? I can’t argue against that.
I have no one left, I realize. No one but Shona, and I can’t imagine facing her disappointment when I tell her what I’ve done. I don’t even have the illusion of family anymore.
Snuggling farther into the cushions, I wish the seashell from my grave were with me and it appears in my palm, smooth and delicate.
Noah had to be lying. He wouldn’t have bothered to put this near my grave if he didn’t miss me. I hold the reminder close to my heart as I allow myself to drift off into jagged dreams.
Chapter
27
Keira
Without him in it, Noah’s room depresses me, so I pop over to visit old Ms. Alvarez and do a little spying. I’ll just find out what the bitch is doing, then I’ll bug Josh for awhile. That should lift my spirits.
The problem with my plan is apparent when I show up in the kid’s room and see Josh sitting in her little, purple chair, spinning around like a six-year-old.
I clear my throat.
“Shit.” Josh nearly falls out of the seat when he spins to face me. His skin drains of all color. Damn straight. I should scare him.
“Hi, pookie. What’s up? I thought you’d be busy crying in a corner somewhere. Or are you glad to finally get rid of good, lil Grace?”
Josh’s reaction changes to rage. Vengeful Angel looks good on him, not that I’m going to tell him that. “What are you doing here?”
I shrug as he rises out of the seat and towers over me. His muscles are taut beneath his shirt and I’m tempted to run a finger over them just to piss him off, but angry Angels aren’t fun to touch.
“I was looking for my boyfriend,” I lie, morphing into Hope.
Rage turns to disgust and he backs away. “I’m not your boyfriend. I did what I had to do to save Grace’s brother.”
“Why not have some fun anyway?” I ask. The old Josh would’ve at least considered it for a moment, but not this one.
“Get the fuck out of here, Keira. I’m busy.”
I tsk at him while sauntering over to the unmade bed where I pick up that rather intriguing book. “Language. I don’t think The Man Upstairs would like that.”
“Leave Lucy alone.” He grabs the book from me, brushing my finger by accident and sending a spark of intense pain shooting through me.
I cry out, waving my hand like I can shake off the searing agony and watching in horror as my pinky turns black like a burnt twig. I scream louder.
“Keira!” Josh rushes toward me, and I back away, eyes wide. This could be the end of me. I put up my arms to protect myself and fall to the ground, whimpering.
“I don’t want to die. Please. I don’t want to die.”
After a moment I realize nothing’s happening and lower my arms to find Josh staring, wide eyed, horror dripping from his features. He’s as scared as I am.
I rise slowly, careful not to get too close. “I guess you finally decided I’m completely evil.” It’s the only explanation for why his touch is so deadly. Why is my vision blurred? Am I disappearing slowly because he touched me? No. It’s something else. It’s…tears.
A small “oh” comes out of my mouth as I brush the liquid away from my eye.
“Keira, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to kill you. I don’t. I don’t want to kill anyone.”
I look back at him sharply, eyes stinging from the tears and the burn of crimson. “You mean you don’t want to kill anyone—not even a Demon.”
“I…” He doesn’t finish. He can’t.
“Where’s Alvarez?” I ask, finally recognizing that the Boss won’t be happy that Josh is here, either. Josh must know about Alvarez. So much for being distracted.
“Nevermind,” I say before he can respond, realizing the truth. “You’ve killed me either way.” He may as well have. If Lucifer finds out I failed, again…
“Alvarez’ll be back in Hell soon,” Josh says, reigning in his shock at what his touch did to me. He’s clenching his hands in his pockets.
“I have to go,” I say, backing away.
He doesn’t answer, just watches stone-faced as I disappear in my customary cloud of smoke.
I make one quick stop at a thrift store to grab an old-fashioned, ladies’ white glove, then I appear near Noah, but out of his sight. He’s come to the graveyard where Grace is buried. I’ve seen her grave before. It’s up on the hill in the most beautiful spot, of course. My grave is unmarked. I don’t bother visiting. I’d rather not find my skeleton, decomposed and swarming with maggots. No thank you.
He’s kneeling like he’s searching for something. There must be a dozen crows all around the hill, cawing loudly. A murder of crows. I snort at the term and drop down behind one of the bigger Angel statues to pull my knees to my chest. My finger still stings, and I lift it up in front of my nose to examine it.
I gag, trying to hold back the contents of my stomach. My pinky is a shriveled, dead thing. I wish it weren’t part of me. I wish I could shake it off of me like an insect.
The tears start again. They come heavy and hard, making me tremble and moan. I’m careful not to be loud enough to attract Noah’s attention, though. I don’t want him to think I followed him because of Lucifer or Grace. I just…needed to be somewhere safe.
What a pathetic creature I am. When something purely good touches me, I wither into…what’s inside of me, I guess. Is that what my soul looks like?
My lip hurts. I’m biting down too hard and the metallic taste of blood slides down my throat. I take out the glove and cover the offensive hand, wondering if Lucifer can fix me.
Then I realize that it’s Lucifer’s gifts—bribes in exchange for my provocation of evil—that slowly turned me into this thing.
Lucifer is the reason this happened.
He owns me. He owns my soul. I know what happens to souls in his keep, and I have the best of what I can expect in Hell. This is as good as it gets.
As if I’ve summoned him with my thoughts, I smell cigar smoke and know he’s nearby. I haven’t seen him smoke a stogy in awhile. He must know I screwed up.
Sure enough, his freshly polished, patent-leather shoes come into view from the other side of the Angel statue. I look up to see him remove the Cuban from his lips and blow the smoke down into my face.
I’m shaking like my own localized earthquake and I can’t seem to stop.
“How very unlike you, Keira,” Lucifer drawls, taking another puff.
“I just needed a minute to myself.” I try to stay the tears and stand.
“What’s with the fashion statement?” he asks, shrewd eyes focused on my glove.
I sigh and pull it off to show him. “Guess Josh decided I’m pure evil. He’s right, isn’t he?”
“Keep that covered. It offends me.” Lucifer puffs away, leaning against the statue while I cover up again.
I force myself to get it together. He doesn’t seem angry, so maybe I’m not in the doghouse after all.
“Lucifer,” I ask, putting on my most feminine voice. I know he loves a demure female. “Am I your oldest working Demon?”
Lucifer strokes his chin, thinking. “Why yes, I believe you are. The older ones have all…retired.”
“What does a retired Demon do?” I ask, knowing his tricks.
He grins, making me shiver. “Whatever I tell them to.”
That’s the clearest answer he’s willing to give? I swallow, wondering what he means. And when he’ll decide it’s time for me to retire.
“How’s our boy?” he asks, nodding toward Noah.
“Grace appeared to him and they argued,” I report. “He hates her. Hates that she’s the focus of everyone and that we might have used him to get to her.” I shift a little, uncomfortable with the idea of Noah being upset.
“I doubt Michael would’ve approved that meeting. Maybe there’s hope for our Grace yet.”
My anger flares for a moment. Lucifer still wants Grace to join us? What’s so special about her? I take a deep breath, tucking the feelings away where they aren’t as dangerous to me.
Lucifer continues. “I’d say your work here is done. You’ve done a marvelous job on him, Keira. You deserve a gift.” He winks.
“What? What did I do?” I don’t want my time with Noah to be over.
“That conversation with Grace put him over the edge.” Lucifer says, grinning. “Tell me, Keira, how is Irma doing?”
I swallow. I guess this is where he finds out about Josh, but I don’t dare lie. “Not so well. Josh is there.”
He shrugs. “No matter. We have what we need right here. I
’ll be revoking her Demon status soon enough. Leave her with Josh. In fact, if things go my way for once, he’ll be damning a soul for me soon.”
I am thoroughly confused. “What do you mean ‘we have what we need right here’?” I ask, picking apart what he said to find the seed of truth.
He glances at Noah, still at Grace’s grave. “You tipped the scales, Keira. We’ve been searching for our next target: the future Antichrist. Not only have you found him, but he’s already committed murder. Noah’s not a potential future Antichrist, Keira. He is the Antichrist. They can’t touch him now.”
“Noah killed someone? When?”
“After his argument with his sister…and with you,” Lucifer tsks softly, tapping his cigar so that ash falls at my feet. “Made him pretty upset. I noticed you left him alone after as well. Good move. No one else to take it out on.”
I stare at Noah from afar. His golden hair, unruly and wild; the curve of his shoulders and strong back. I remember his gentle hands gliding along my body. His innocent questions. He’s the one individual destined to bring about the End of Times? And it’s because of me? No. Grace will save him. Josh will save him. We will lose like we always do.
“Did you hear me, Keira? He’s committed to the darkness. He’s ours. It’s finally happened.” I’ve never heard such uncontrolled glee come from Lucifer and it’s far more frightening than when he’s mad at me.
“But Heaven—”
“Heaven can burn along with Earth. There’s nothing they can do now. Hear me up there?” he shouts toward the sky, which is swirling with deep-indigo clouds, thunder roiling within.
They can’t save him? It’s too late?
“We’ve already won.”
Chapter 28
Josh
What have I done? I could have killed Keira. Not that she doesn’t deserve it, but still—I’d be responsible for taking away her existence. It’s not just death—it’s the end. The innocent mistake makes me realize that I’m playing with fire. I’m an Angel. I’m a goddamn powerful Angel. And I’m messing with someone’s eternal soul.
Soul Corrupted Page 14
