Currently I’m reading a big fat volume called The Swordsmith’s Assistant. There’s method in my madness. While there’s no obvious way I can get my hands on a blaster or other modern weaponry, and I’m not suicidal enough to play with explosives inside a pressurized hab without knowing its physical topology, it occurs to me that you can still raise an awful lot of mayhem with the toys you can build in a dark age machine shop. My main headache with the crossbow, in fact, is going to be knowing the axis of rotation in each sector, so that I can correct my aim for Coriolis force. Which is where the plumb bob and the laser distance meter come in.
In public, I’m working hard at being a different person. I don’t want anyone to figure out that I’m building an arsenal.
The ladies of our cohort—which means Jen, Angel, me, and Alice, because Cass still isn’t allowed out in public by her husband—meet up for lunch three times a week. I don’t ask after Cass because I don’t want Jen to get the idea that I’m interested in her. She’d peg it as a weakness and try to figure out how to exploit it. I don’t want her to get any kind of handle of me, so I dress up and meet them at a restaurant or cafe, and smile and listen politely as they discuss what their husbands are doing or the latest gossip about their neighbors. The nine other houses on my road are standing vacant, waiting for the next cohorts of test subjects to arrive, but that’s unusual—I gather the others live near to people from other cohorts, and there’s a rich sea of gossip lapping around the tide pools of suburban anomie.
“I think we can make some mileage against cohort three,” Jen says one day, over a Spanish omelet dusted with paprika. She sounds cunning.
“You do?” Angel asks anxiously.
“Yes.” Jen looks smug.
“Do tell.” Alice puts her fork down in the wreckage of her Caesar salad. She’s trying to look interested, but she can’t fool me. Jen casts her a sharp look, then stabs her omelet.
“Esther and Mal live at the other end of Lakeside View from me and Chris.” A piece of omelet quivers on the end of her fork, impaled for our attention. Jen chews reflectively. “I’ve noticed Esther watching me from their garden, some mornings. So I called a taxi to go shopping, then had it circle round and drop me off just beyond the tunnel at the other end of the road. Funny who you see in the area.” She smiles, exposing perfect raptor-sharp teeth.
“Who?” asks Alice, obliging her with an audience.
“She goes in, and about ten minutes later Phil turns up by taxi. He sends it away and rings the doorbell. Leaves an hour or two later.”
Angel tut-tuts disapprovingly. Alice just looks faintly disgusted.
“Don’t you see?” asks Jen. “It’s not public. That gives us leverage.” She spears a broccoli stem, dismembers it a branch at a time, tearing with her teeth. “There’s a word for it. Adultery. It’s not negatively scored as such, as long as it’s secret. But if it comes out—”
“We know,” Angel interrupts. “So why—”
“Because we’re not part of cohort three. Esther and Mal and Phil are all in cohort three. The, ah, peer pressure has to be applied by your peers. So this gives us leverage over Esther and Phil. If we tell Mal, they lose points big-time.”
“I don’t feel so good,” I say, putting my knife down and pushing my chair back from the table. “Need some fresh air.”
“Was it something I said?” asks Jen, casually concerned.
I’m getting better at lying with a straight face. I don’t think I used to be good at it, but spending too much time around Jen is giving me a crash course in mendacity. “Nothing to do with you—must be something I ate,” I say as I stand up.
I’m trying not to stand out, trying not to offend Jen or the others, and trying not to look eccentric in public, but there are limits to what I will put up with. Being tacitly enlisted in a conspiracy to blackmail is too much. I’ll have to smile at them tomorrow or the day after, but right now I want to be alone. So I go outside, where a gentle breeze is blowing, and I walk to the end of the block and cross the road. There’s very little traffic (none of us real humans drive vehicles—it’s far too dangerous), and the zombies are configured to give right of way to pedestrians, so I manage to get into the park reasonably fast.
The park is a semidomesticated biome. The grass is neatly trimmed, the large deciduous plants are carefully pruned, and the small stream of water that meanders through it is tamed and can be crossed by numerous footbridges. It has the big advantage that at this time of day it’s nearly empty, except for the zombie groundsman and perhaps a couple of wives with nothing better to do with their time. I walk along the stone path that leads from the edge of the downtown block toward the small coppice on the edge of the boating lake.
I gradually calm down as I near the side of the lake. It’s simulating a sunny day with a little high cloud and a lazy breeze, just occasionally getting up enough speed to cool my skin through my costume. Apart from the incessant machinelike twitter of the fist-sized dinosaurs in the trees, it’s quite peaceful. Sometimes I can almost bring myself to forget the perpetual simmering sense of anger and humiliation that Jen seems to thrive on inducing in the rest of us.
However much I try to, I can’t put myself in their shoes. It’s as if they don’t realize that you can game the system by ignoring it, by refusing to participate, as well as by going along with the overt rewards and punishments. They’ve all unconsciously decided to obey the arbitrary pressure toward gender partitioning, and they won’t be content unless everyone else conforms and competes for the same rewards. Was it like this for real dark ages females, created as random victims of genetic determinism rather than volunteers in an experiment enforced by explicit rewards and penalties? If so, I’m lucky: I’ve only got another three years of it.
Being a wife is a lonely business. Sam and I lead largely independent lives. He goes to work in the morning, and I only see him in the evenings, when he’s tired, or on Sundays. On Sundays we go to Church, bound together by our mutual fear of being singled out for opprobrium, and afterward we go home together and try to remind each other that the score whores—who slavishly chase after every hint of right behavior that Fiore drops—are not the most intelligent or reasonable people. We have an uphill struggle at times.
It’s a shame Sam’s a male, and a shame that the internal dynamics of this compressed community have set up this artificial barrier between us. I have a feeling that if we weren’t under so much external pressure, I could get to like him.
And then there’s Cass, who was at Church last Sunday.
We live in a really small, tightly constrained and controlled synthetic world, and there are some aspects of the way it’s organized that make its artificiality glaringly obvious. For example, we don’t have fashions, not in the sense of spontaneous design creativity that spawns waves of imitation and recomplication. (Creativity is a scarce resource at the best of times, and with barely a hundred of us living here so far, there just isn’t enough to go round.) What we do have is a strangely frenetic ersatz fashion industry, in the form of whatever’s in the shops. Somewhere there’s a surviving catalogue of styles from the dark ages, probably compiled from a museum, and the shops change their contents regularly, compelling us to buy new stuff every few cycles or fall out of date. (It’s another conformity-promoting measure: forget to update your wardrobe contents, leave yourself open to criticism.) This month hats are in fashion, ridiculous confections with wide brims and net veils that shadow the face. I can cope with hats, although I don’t like the brims or the veils—I keep catching them on things, and they get in the way.
But let me get back to Cass, the subject of my hopes and worries . . .
I’m standing beside Sam as usual, holding the hymnbook and moving my lips, letting my eyes rove around the other side of the aisle. A new cohort arrived last week and the Church is packed—they’ll have to extend it soon. I’m trying to pick out the newcomers because I don’t want to get them mixed up with the older cohorts. Maybe it’s a bit of
Jen’s calculated cynicism rubbing off on me, but I’m learning to guess someone’s degree of alienation by how long they’ve been around. I have a feeling I might be able to make some allies among the new intake as long as I look for them early in the conditioning cycle, before the score whores get their claws in.
For some reason Mick is sitting with—standing among—the new folks this week, and I automatically glance at the woman to his left. I do a double take. She’s wearing a long-sleeved blue dress with a high collar, and a hat with a black veil that covers her face. She’s got lots of makeup smeared around her eyes. Her mouth is a red slash, and her cheeks are colorless. But it’s definitely Cass, and she’s holding the hymnbook as if she’s never seen one before.
Is that you, Kay? I wonder, tantalized by her presence. I’ve been holding on to that promise Kay extracted from me—“You’ll look for me inside, won’t you?” And Cass . . . she knows ice ghoul society. If Mick wasn’t so crazy with jealousy that he doesn’t want her out in public, if—
Sam nudges me discreetly in the ribs. People are closing their hymnbooks and sitting down. I hastily follow suit. (Don’t want anyone to notice me, don’t want to attract unwanted attention.)
“Dearly beloved,” drones Fiore, “we are a loving congregation, and today we welcome to our bosom the new cohort of Eddie, Pat, Jon”—and he names seven other fresh victims—“who I am sure you will take under your wings and strive to befriend in due course. We also offer a belated welcome to sleepyhead Cass, who has finally deigned to grace us with her fragrant presence . . .” He twitters on in like vein for some time, preaching a sermon of saccharine subordination illustrated periodically with some anecdote of misdoing. Vern, it seems, got falling-down drunk and vomited in Main Street two nights ago, while Erica and Kate had a stand-up fight so violent that it put Erica in hospital, along with Greg and Brook, who tried to pull Kate off her. Kate is now in prison, paying the price for her outburst in days on bread and nights on water, and by the time Fiore gets through excoriating her, there’s an angry undercurrent of disapproval in the congregation. I glance sidelong at Cass, trying not to be too obtrusive about it. I can’t make out her face—the veil shadows her expression effectively—but I’m pretty sure that if I could see her, she’d look frightened. Her shoulders are set, defensive, and she’s hunched slightly away from Mick.
Once we go outside into the open air, I grab a glass of wine and down it rapidly, keeping close to Sam. Sam watches me, worried. “Something wrong?”
“Yes. No. I’m not sure.” There are butterflies in my stomach. Cass is the most isolated of the wives in Cohort Four, the one who hasn’t been allowed out anywhere—and could Sam stop me doing anything if I felt like it? Mick is poison, not the subtle social toxin of a Jen, but the forthright venom of a stinging insect, brutal and direct. “There’s something I want to check out. I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?”
“Reeve—take care?”
I meet his eyes. He’s concerned! I realize. Abashed, I nod, then slide away toward the front of the Church and the main entrance.
Mick is talking to a little knot of hard-looking men, wiry muscles and close-cropped hair—guys I see digging or operating incredibly noisy machinery, chewing up the roads then filling them in again—he’s gesticulating wildly. A couple of the Church attendants stand nearby, and there’re a couple of women waiting in the doorway. I sidle toward the front door and go inside. The Church has emptied out, and there’s only one person still there, loitering near the back pew.
“Kay? Cass?” I ask.
She looks at me. “R-Reeve?”
It’s dark, and I can’t be sure but there’s something about her heavy eye shadow that makes me think of bruising. Her dress would effectively conceal signs of violence if Mick’s been beating her. “Are you all right?” I ask.
Her eyes turn toward the entrance. “No,” she whispers. “Listen, he’s—don’t get involved. All right? I don’t need your help. Stay away from me.” Her voice quavers with a fine edge of fear.
“I promised I’d look for you in here,” I say.
“Don’t.” She shakes her head. “He’ll kill me, do you realize that? If he thinks I’ve been talking to anyone—”
“But we can protect you! All you have to do is ask, and we’ll get you out of there and keep him away from you.”
I might as well not have bothered talking to her: she shakes her head and backs toward the door, her shoes clacking on the stone floor. Behind the veil, her face isn’t simply frightened, it’s terrified. And the white powder on her cheek isn’t quite enough to conceal the ivory stain of old bruising.
Mick is waiting outside. If he sees me emerging after Cass, he’ll probably go nuts. And I’m beginning to wonder if I’m right about her. When I called her Kay, she showed no sign of recognition. But would she? Kay is an alias, after all, and with her being just out of memory surgery, and me not being Robin but Reeve in this hall of mirrors—if after these tendays someone called me Robin, would I realize they were talking to me at first?
I glance around frustratedly, wondering if there’s a back exit. I’m alone in the Church nave. It’s not my favorite place, you understand, but right now it lacks the almost palpable sense of hostility it exudes when we’re all herded together in our Sunday best, wondering who’s going to be today’s sacrificial victim. Waiting for Mick to lose interest and leave, I walk around the front of the big room, trying to get a new perspective on things.
I’ve never been forward of the pews before. What does Fiore keep in his lectern? I wonder, walking toward the altar. The lectern, seen from behind, is quite disappointing—it’s just a slab of carved wood with a shelf set in it. There are a couple of paper books filed there, but no robocatamite to account for Fiore’s peculiar mannerisms. The altar is also pretty boring. It’s a slab of smoothly polished stone, carved into neatly rectilinear lines. The symbols of the faith, the sword and the chalice, sit atop a metal rack in the middle of the purple-dyed cloth that covers the stone. I look closer, intrigued by the sword. It’s an odd-looking thing. The blade is dead straight, with a totally squared-off tip, and it’s about a centimeter thick. With no edge on it and no taper it looks more like a mirror-polished billet of steel than a blade. It’s got a basket hilt and a gray, roughened grip, suggesting a functional design rather than a decorative one. Something nags at me, an insistent phantom memory stump itching where a real one has been amputated. I’m certain I’ve seen a sword like this before. There are faint rectangular grooves in the outer surface of the basket, as if something has been removed. And the flat “edge” of the blade isn’t quite right—it shines with the luster of fine steel, but there’s also a faint rainbow sheen, a diffractive speckling at the edge of my gaze.
I break out in a cold sweat. My blouse feels like ice against the chill of my skin as I straighten up and hastily head for the small door that’s visible on this side of the organist’s bench. I don’t want to be caught here, not now! Someone is having a little joke with us, and I feel sick to my heart at the thought that it might be Fiore, or his boss, Yourdon the Bishop. They’re playing with us, and this is the proof. Who can I tell? Most people here wouldn’t understand, and those that did—we’ve got no way out, not unless the experimenters agree to release us early. But the exit leads straight back into the clinics of the hospitaler-confessors, and I have a horrible gut-deep feeling that they’re involved in this. Certainly they’re implicated.
I’ve got to get out of here, I realize, aghast. The thing is, I’ve seen swords like that before. Vorpal blades, they call them, I’m not sure why. This one’s obviously decommissioned, but how did it get here? They don’t rely on the edge or point to cut, that’s not what they’re for. They belonged to, to—Who did they belong to? I rack my brains, trying to find the source of this terrible conviction that I stand in the presence of something utterly evil, something that doesn’t belong in any experimental polity, a stink of livid corruption. But my treacherous memory lets me down ag
ain, and as I batter myself against the closed door of my own history, I walk back into the light outside, blinking and wondering if I might be wrong after all. Wrong about Cass being Kay. Wrong about Mick being violent. Wrong about the sword and the chalice. Wrong about who and what I am . . .
7
Bottom
TIME passes glacially slowly. I don’t say anything to Sam about the events in Church, not about Cass’s black eye nor the Vorpal blade on the Church altar. Sam is comfortable to live with, happy to listen to my depressive chatter about the women’s world, but there’s always the worm of worry gnawing at the back of my mind: Can I trust him? I want to, but I can’t be sure he isn’t one of my pursuers. It’s a horrible dilemma, the risk/trust trade-off. So I don’t talk about what I do in the garage, or on the basement exercise machine, and he doesn’t volunteer much information about what he does at work. A couple of the ladies who lunch are talking about organizing dinner parties, but if we invited ourselves into that kind of social circle they’d expect us to reciprocate and the stress would be—well, I don’t think either of us is up to it. So we live our lonely lives in each other’s back pockets, and I worry about Cass, and Sam reads a lot and watches TV, trying to understand the ancients.
When we get home after the abortive meeting in Church, I use my netlink to check our group’s public points. Jen is leading on social connectedness, while Alice is second on that score—her helping me with clothes seems to be good for her. To my surprise I see that I’m at the bottom of the cohort. There’s an activity breakdown and it looks like everyone else is having sex with their partner: Forming stable relationships is a good way to jack up your score, easy points. I backtrack a week or two and see that Cass is regularly active with Mick.
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