“How are things?” he repeated. Then he lowered his voice to a whisper, giving a furtive glance around him. “Oh, man. It’s tough, really tough. We’re permanently exhausted. Why didn’t you warn me?”
I laughed. “If I had you wouldn’t have believed me. And you’ve got twins.”
“Christ, if it’s like this now,” he said, “what will it be like when they’re teenagers?”
“Absolute hell. Having girls is penance, you realize that?”
He rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it. I’ve already told Lynne if they show any signs of being like me they’re getting chastity belts for their thirteenth birthday.”
We took the kids into the house and gave them to Abby and Lynne, then returned to the car to unpack the trunk.
“And the amount of stuff you need,” Paul said, hoisting two travel cots and a bag the size of a small elephant over his shoulder. “It’s frigging ridiculous.”
“Yep.” I wondered whether I should point out he’d started saying “frig.”
“I mean,” he continued, “I used to throw a toothbrush and a pair of pants in a bag and take off for the weekend. Actually, the pants were optional. Now we pack half the sodding house.”
I grinned. “Welcome to parenthood, my friend. It gets better. For a while at least.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah. And in another twelve years they won’t want anything to do with you anyway.”
Paul put his head in his hands and groaned, but I could tell he was laughing, too.
“Hi, Nate.”
I turned around. Nancy had arrived in her driveway next door and was in the process of unloading her car. As she bent over to pick up a couple of bags, her blouse fell forward, and I caught a glimpse of something sky blue and floral. I gave my head a slight shake, concentrated on her face and held up a hand. “Hey, Nancy. How are you?”
She put the bags down and strolled over, her long brown hair bouncing like one of those women in a shampoo advert. From nowhere, an image of her standing in the shower, water running over her breasts and thighs, darted through my mind, and I could feel my face getting warmer despite the miserable temperatures.
I hadn’t seen Nancy in a few weeks, not since I’d checked out their heating, which turned out to be absolutely fine. Abby had insisted on leaving our new neighbors loads of time to settle in. When I said I was going to offer them my tools and maybe help put a few more things together, she hadn’t been impressed.
“Leave them to it,” she’d snapped. “You don’t have to always fix everything, you know. I’m sure Liam is perfectly capable.” Her mood hadn’t improved for ages, and as I looked at Nancy’s warm smile I couldn’t help but wish Abby were as relaxed, instead of being as tightly wound as a pocket watch.
“How’s the house coming along?” I said.
“Oh, great. I already started a few projects.” She smiled. “I have loads of ideas.”
I smiled back, trying not to focus too much on the dimples in her cheeks. I hadn’t noticed them before. They were...cute. I cleared my throat. “Nancy, this is my brother, Paul. Paul, Nancy.”
“I can see the resemblance,” she said to Paul. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You’ve just moved in?” he said.
“Last month. We moved down from Preston and—”
“No sh...way?” Paul said, turning to me. “We know the area well, don’t we?”
“I’ve heard all about it.” Nancy laughed. “We seem to be congregating around here. First Abby, now us. Do you live locally, too?”
“No, we’re here for the weekend,” Paul said. “I live in Cardiff now. That’s where my wife’s from.”
“Oh, that’s nice,” Nancy said. “We went to the castle once when I was a kid. It was fun. Great city, isn’t it?”
Paul nodded. “Yeah, not bad. But, uh, we won’t be there much longer.”
“You’re moving back here?” I raised my eyebrows. “It’s about time. That’s fantastic!”
Paul looked a bit sheepish. “Er, no. We, uh, we’re moving to Zurich in June.”
“What?” My eyebrows practically slid down the back of my head. “You mean Zurich as in Zurich, Switzerland?”
“Yeah.” He grimaced apologetically. “I only found out last night.”
“But you never said anything.” I felt like a bit of an idiot, having this discussion in front of Nancy, but Switzerland? What the hell?
He shrugged. “Didn’t see any point. The company had a one-year contract going, so I applied thinking nothing would happen.” He paused. “Next thing I know I’ve got a job in the land of cheese.”
“Well, I think it’s fantastic,” Nancy said. “Switzerland? Wow. Nate, what a great excuse to visit.” She looked at us both. “You’ll have lots to celebrate this weekend. I should leave you to it.”
“Join us.” I just about stopped myself from scratching my head as I wondered why I’d extended the invitation so swiftly. Maybe the glimpse of her bra had messed with my mind.
Nancy looked at me, her head tilted sideways, her forehead in a slight frown. “Sorry?”
“I mean, you, Liam and Zac,” I said, feeling the need to clarify. “Why not come over tomorrow night?”
“Oh, well—”
“The weather’s supposed to be good. Paul’s a master at the old barbecue. And we’ve got so much steak we could rebuild a cow.”
Nancy grinned. “Sounds great.”
“Yeah?”
“Absolutely. We don’t have any plans. You sure it’s not too much trouble?”
“No trouble at all,” I said. “The more the merrier. How does six thirty sound?”
“Great. Okay then. I’m not sure about Zac, but Liam and I will definitely be there. I’ll bring an apple pie, if that’s okay?”
“Apple pie’s my favorite,” Paul said.
“Oh, good. Thanks so much, Nate. It’ll be a relief to get away from looking at color schemes and fabric swatches.” She turned to Paul. “Nice meeting you. See you tomorrow.”
“Look forward to it,” Paul said, giving a slight bow.
We watched Nancy walk back to her car, although we both pretended we didn’t. As we pulled the rest of the bags from the back of Paul’s car, he said, “She likes you.”
“What?”
“She likes you, you daft prick.”
I laughed. “Wait till you see her other half, then you’ll see how stupid that sounds. He says he works at a bank but I reckon he moonlights as a Chippendale or something.”
Paul gave me a look. “I may be married, but I’m not stupid.” He lowered his voice. “And I saw the way you looked at her. You be careful there, sunshine. Believe me, shagging the neighbor never ends well.”
I harrumphed and picked up a bag, wondering if Paul could possibly be right. I couldn’t remember the last time someone other than Abby had shown any interest, let alone flirted with me.
My wife had pointed out a couple of times when waitresses made doe eyes at me, then laughed when I asked her if she was delirious. Abby reckoned my radar had been permanently shelved when we got married, that if a woman came up and snogged me—tongue and all—I’d still pass it off as a case of mistaken identity. I told her it had actually happened once. In a dark corner at a Saturday afternoon disco with Heather Kitchen when I was thirteen. As first kisses go, it had been a bit of a letdown when she’d realized I wasn’t my mate Justin.
I walked back toward the house, considering the possibility of an attractive and quietly sexy woman like Nancy finding me even remotely interesting. It put so much spring in my step, I could have done with a couple of weight belts.
“How’s Abby?” Paul said, bringing me back down to earth.
I stopped and lowered my voice. “I’m not sure. She’s been a bit...off these days.”
“Off?”
“Yeah. Grumpy. Moody.”
“Have you asked her what’s going on?”
“Hah. Do you ask Lynne when she’s in a mood?”
“Not if I think it’s my fault. She once said if I couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong, then she couldn’t be bothered to tell me.”
“And did you figure it out?”
“Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten it was the anniversary of the day we met. I told her men can only remember one anniversary. It’s a genetic thing. But she waved my phone in front of my face and said, ‘There’s an app for that, Techno Man.’”
“I think it might have something to do with Tom,” I said. “Abby was shouting in her sleep again. She hasn’t done that for ages.”
“Anniversary’s coming up soon, isn’t it?”
I half shrugged. “Kind of. July.”
“There’s your answer then. Can’t be easy, celebrating her birthday and commemorating her brother’s death.” He opened the front door. “Especially seeing it was Abby’s fault.”
“What was my fault?” Abby stood in the hallway.
“Uh...” Paul’s eyes darted from me to Abby and back again. “That I got married and ended up with twins. You helped me pick the ring, remember?”
Abby smiled, but her jaw seemed to remain clenched, and I hoped she hadn’t heard the rest of our conversation. “I ran into Nancy.” I closed the door and set the last of the mammoth luggage collection on the floor. “I invited them for the barbecue tomorrow night.”
“What? Nate—”
“She seems nice,” Paul said before Abby could finish. “And Nate said her husband’s a bit of all right.”
Abby frowned. “Well—”
“Actually.” I laughed. “Abby thinks he’s an—”
“Okay guy.” She finished the sentence for me. “But I wish you’d given me more notice,” she said with another tight smile, her eyes sending a clear message she didn’t want Paul to know how she felt. Couldn’t say I blamed her. Paul had never exactly been known for his discretion. When I was eleven he told one of the teachers about my crush on her. I pretended to have a fever for three days, sticking the thermometer on the radiator when Mum wasn’t looking until she threatened to take me to hospital.
“Don’t worry,” Paul said to my wife. “We’ll fetch whatever else we need. And I’ve got a Texas marinade recipe I—”
“A Texas marinade recipe?” I rubbed my chin. “Who are you? Gordon Ramsay?”
He winced as he picked up the bags. “Trust me, he’ll be breaking the door down when he gets a whiff.”
As I watched my brother walk up the stairs I glanced at Tom’s photograph. Remembering Paul’s comment about the anniversary, I put my arms around Abby. “I love you,” I whispered in her ear. “I’m always here for you. Okay?”
“I know,” she said, and I couldn’t help noticing her hug wasn’t nearly as tight as mine.
NOW
ABBY
SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.
My husband, the person who, by his own admission, only haphazardly organized any of our social events, had invited Liam and Nancy for dinner. And they were coming over this evening. For dinner. Not a drink. I could have maybe managed a drink. That would have meant seeing them for an hour, give or take. But dinner, especially with Paul and Lynne, would go on until the next morning. What the hell was I going to do?
I’d hardly slept at all, too many thoughts and scenarios buzzing through my head. I’d finally dropped off at around four, only to be woken by the twins two hours later, and now all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide.
I’d been doing a lot of that lately. Avoiding Liam for the past month had been relatively easy. I’d continued setting off for the gym or the office earlier than usual, and came home late, too, taking on extra work without hesitation—my boss probably wondered if I was vying for her job. And at home I made sure either Nate or Sarah was with me when I stepped outside. It was ridiculous. It had to stop.
I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, thinking I’d have to emerge at some point or a search party would come knocking. I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide forever, not today in the downstairs loo, and certainly not forever in the house. Spring was here, a time I’d always looked forward to, when winter finally released us from its clutches, its parting gift longer days and promises of sunshine.
But this year Liam would be tackling Barbara Baker’s unkempt lawn and overgrown trees on the opposite side of our fence, playing Happy Families with his cheery, button-nosed, curly-haired wife.
I’d figured I had another couple of weeks to get over myself and accept the situation, give me the time to tame the beast within. As it stood, I had a few hours.
I wondered if I could feign another illness, but swiftly decided I couldn’t use that excuse again. Liam would no doubt see straight through it, Nate would pester me about how I should take it easy and Lynne would force-feed me foul-smelling homemade remedies.
My heart was pounding, and I made myself take a few deep breaths. I’d been short-tempered around Nate and Sarah, had even snapped at Paul and Lynne twice, despite trying hard not to. Most of the time I felt like a hormonal teenager, oscillating between wanting to scream at someone or yell at myself in the mirror instead.
It couldn’t go on. It couldn’t. I had to accept that Liam lived next door—short of moving, which I’d tentatively explored with Nate one night only to be shot down with loud protests—there wasn’t anything I could do.
Liam and I were married, I repeated to myself again for the millionth time that day. To other people. My feelings—any feelings—were irrelevant. Nothing was going to happen. Nothing could happen. I’d make sure of it.
Another deep breath, a flick of my hair, a perfectly poised smile and I walked back into the kitchen. Lynne greeted me with a couple of limes and a paring knife in her hand. “Oh, there you are,” she said. “I took the liberty of starting on the G&T’s. I don’t suppose you want one?”
“No, I’ll stick with water.”
“You still don’t drink?” She poured a generous helping of gin into the glass, added the tonic and a slice of lime.
“No.”
“Never, ever?”
“No. Never, ever.”
“God, I couldn’t do my job without alcohol. I’m sure Nate has told you when you work in recruitment, you need booze.” She laughed. “But now I know your secret.”
“Secret?” I cleared my throat. “I don’t have any secrets.”
She took a sip of her drink, the ice cubes making a clunking sound against her glass, and gestured toward me. “Your amazing figure. Before the girls, heck, even when I was sixteen, I was never as trim as you.”
“Oh.” I shrugged, trying to disguise the relief on my face. “I’m careful. No bread or pasta. No chocolate or cakes. I go to the gym and run at least four or five times a week.”
Lynne grimaced. “God. That sounds way too punishing. I’d die without crumpets. And chocolate. I can’t do without my daily fix or two.”
I forced a smile. “You get used to it.”
“So these new neighbors?” Lynne said before sipping her drink. “Anything I should know about before they come over? Uncovered any horrible skeletons in their cupboards yet?”
I could feel my cheeks flush, so I quickly crossed over to the fridge, retrieving the lettuce, tomatoes and spring onions. “No.” I tried to press my forehead on the milk jug without her noticing. “They seem pretty normal. You know, mum, dad, teenage boy.”
“How old?”
“Midforties?”
She laughed. “I meant the boy.”
“Oh. Seventeen, maybe?” I knew exactly how old he was, remembered how, years ago, Liam had showed me a picture of his baby. I refused to let my mind elaborate on the memory, and shoved it back into the deepest darkest corner of my mind, insi
de the box I’d marked Do Not Open. I ran the tomatoes under the water and put them on the wooden chopping board.
“Is he cute?”
I rolled my eyes and picked up the knife. “He’s a bit young for you, Lynne.”
She laughed. “Don’t be silly,” she said, waving her glass. “Not for me. For Sarah. She doesn’t have a boyfriend, does she?”
A shiver traveled down my spine. “She’s too young.”
Lynne snorted. “She’s sixteen. How old were you when you had your first boyfriend?”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
I slammed the knife down a lot harder than I’d intended. “It just is, okay?”
“Uh, is everything all right?”
I exhaled. “Yes. Sorry. A bit tired, that’s all.”
She looked at me. “Well, we won’t make it a late night then. I’d better go and check on the girls.”
I didn’t see the ruby-red smears until she’d gone; I hadn’t even felt the blade pierce my skin. Swearing under my breath, I dug out a plaster and wrapped it around the gash in my finger, my mind racing.
Lynne’s suggestion of Sarah and Zac liking each other wasn’t new to me. The idea had kept me awake many times. I’d even dreamt about it, waking up amid sweaty shouts of “No!”
I shuddered at the image of them together and quickly batted it away. When I’d asked Sarah—again—what she thought of Zac, she’d been dismissive, waving a hand and muttering about him already being Mr. Popular at school, but as far as she was concerned, still an idiot.
I’d checked her diary to be sure. And as I read the pages, the feelings of disgust I felt toward myself actually made me feel better. It meant at least part of me was still a decent human being.
I forced my mind to go blank while I finished making the salad, then peeled the potatoes Nate and Paul had bought that morning. I could see them through the window, standing outside in the garden, no doubt discussing lawn mowers, beer and, in Paul’s case anyway, probably the approximate weight of Kate Upton’s individual breasts.
Nate looked up and waved at me with a big grin on his face. I raised my hand to return the gesture, but remained unable to even half match his smile.
The Neighbors Page 10
