by Martin Crimp
Oh yes—oh yes—he tells me about them—
their names
the colour of their hair—
because he knows I’d rather be told
even if being told is
and it is
I can promise you that it is
like having my face sprayed with acid.
When I slept with you
Jonathan
I told him the same evening
and after he’d punched his fist through the bathroom wall
he made me put on my red dress
and took me dancing.
Whereas—let me guess—you and
Kitty?—was that Kitty on the phone?—yes?—Kitty?—
Kitty and yourself—poor little Kitty
has never been told, has she,
even though her ignorance
is precisely what you despise about her—
am I right?
Slight pause.
You see
Jonathan
I happen to believe that love and truth
are the same thing.
Jonathan Your indiscretion appals me.
Amelia Oh, does it? I’m so sorry.
Jonathan All I am doing in a very very difficult situation here is trying to / protect you.
Amelia It’s true, then.
Jonathan What?
Amelia What Richard says: what Richard / says is true.
Jonathan Nobody is trying to smear the General, no.
Amelia In other words it’s true.
Jonathan (to Richard) You have no right to imply that.
Amelia Meaning it’s true.
Jonathan Apparently.
Amelia I didn’t hear you. What?
Jonathan I said apparently—yes—alright?—it’s true.
Amelia bursts out laughing.
Amelia And you believe that?
Jonathan Yes.
Amelia That he would massacre a what?—an entire / population?—
Jonathan The evidence points that way.
Amelia ‘The evidence points that way’—oh really?—does
it?—for this person?—for this … child?
Richard Hardly a child, sweetheart.
Amelia stops laughing.
Jonathan Listen—
Amelia I don’t believe it.
Jonathan Listen—
Amelia You’re just trying to damage him—no.
Jonathan Amelia—
Amelia DON’T YOU DARE PUT YOUR HAND ON ME.
Slight pause.
Jonathan (calmly) I have no wish to damage anyone—least of all yourself. I have to leave now. I suggest—and this is simply a suggestion—suggest that you go to bed—that you try to sleep—and that in the morning you call my office—excuse me.
He turns away to answer his mobile.
Hello?
Where are you?
Uh-hu. Uh-hu. I see.
In the house.
I said in the house, I’m in the house.
(meeting Amelia’s eyes) Asleep I think.
Uh-hu. Uh-hu. Okay. I’ll try. One moment.
He takes the phone from his ear.
It’s the General.
Amelia (overjoyed) Well, give me the phone. Where is he? (Slight pause.) What’s wrong with you? Give me the phone.
Jonathan He’s on a plane. He’s asking to speak to Laela.*
* In the original production there was a struggle for the phone. When Amelia got hold of it, the General’s voice was audible: Laela?—Laela?—Don’t be frightened: it’s me.—It’s me sweetheart.—Come on, Laela: talk to me.—Laela?—Sweetheart?—Laela?—Laela?
Part Two
ONE
Some days later, Laela, exactly like Amelia in the earlier scene, is being given beauty treatment by the Beautician and Physiotherapist. Following the words with her finger, she reads aloud from a women’s magazine.
The Housekeeper plays quietly with the Boy.
Laela (reads) ‘Tell him how you want to be touched. Tell him what your …’ (Shows word.)
Physiotherapist Fantasies.
Laela ‘ … what your fantasies are. Don’t feel … ashamed. If your man doesn’t touch you the way you like, give your man a lesson. You may want to …’ (Shows word.)
Physiotherapist Masturbate.
Laela ‘ … masturbate in front of each other. Many …’ (Shows word.) Couples?
Physiotherapist Very good.
Laela ‘Many couples find this leads to better sex. Remember there is no right or wrong. You are an … ’ (Shows word.) … indian?
Physiotherapist Individual.
Laela ‘ … an individual, and every … individual expresses love in their own individual way.’
Beautician That’s very good, Laela. Did you learn English at school?
Laela Only boys go to school. I learn English at Tuseme club. (Turns page.) Oh, look at this dress! I want this dress!
Beautician What’s Tuseme club?
Laela Tuseme club is HIV Aids learning club. You think he’ll buy me this dress?
Physiotherapist Only if you’re nice to him.
Laela Oh, I’m always nice to him.
The girls all laugh. Amelia appears. They go quiet.
Amelia What’s that round your neck, Laela?
Physiotherapist You’d left it in the bathroom.
Amelia I’ve told you: she’s not to take my things.
Housekeeper She doesn’t mean any harm.
Amelia I’m sure. (Smiles, holds out her hand.) Laela?
After a pause, Laela unfastens the necklace she’s wearing and gives it to Amelia. She continues to look at the magazine.
Don’t you miss your family? (Slight pause.) I said: don’t you miss / your family?
Laela My father was bad. He took the rice.
Amelia Oh?
Laela He took the rice out of people’s mouths. And if he saw a man swallow the rice, he’d put his own hand into the man’s body and pull the rice out again. (Grins.)
Amelia Your mother, then?
Laela I miss the General. When is he coming home? I want him to buy this dress.
Amelia The General is my husband, Laela. D’you understand what that means?
Laela One man can have many wives.
Amelia Of course, of course—but here—where you are now—when a man marries a woman, he stays with that woman.
Laela Just her?
Amelia That’s what marriage is.
Laela (laughs) I don’t believe you. That’s what they tell girls at Tuseme club.
Amelia It’s the truth.
Laela A man can have two wives under one blanket.
Amelia No. Not here. No.
Laela You mean he has to choose.
Amelia What I mean—Laela—is that the choice has already been made. I am his choice. I am the mother of his child. When he wakes up in the bed screaming, I am the person who switches on the light, and fetches the glass of water. (Sees the Boy has a toy gun.) What’s this? I thought I said no guns. (No one speaks.) I said no guns.
Housekeeper It’s only a toy, Amelia.
Amelia But I specifically / asked.
Laela (soft) Boys need to fight.
Amelia What did you say?
Laela (with growing intensity) Boys need to fight—they need to learn—they need to kill. Boys need to kill. Boys need to fight. Boys must fight. Boys must kill—must learn to kill. Boys need to fight—they need to learn—they need to kill. Boys need to kill. Boys need to fight. Boys must fight. Boys must kill—must learn to kill. Boys need to—
Amelia hits Laela. Laela for a moment is stunned—then leaves the room. The Boy runs out after her.
Long pause. Housekeeper, Physiotherapist and Beautician watch Amelia, warily.
Suddenly Amelia points toy gun at Physiotherapist, who instinctively raises her arms. She smiles.
After we married—
did I ever tell you this?—
he was immediately sent away
and I was bored.
She tosses gun into the toy-box.
I was so bored that I called
this boy I’d known at university
who’d spent his years at university
marching for peace
and when not marching for peace
shut in a lab. He was a chemist
and despised my husband.
Anyway I called him
and I said ‘How are you?’ he said
‘I’m living in the country
come to the station and I’ll collect you’
so I got the train
and he collected me from the country station
and without the beard
he was actually quite attractive.
I said ‘This is a nice car, Robert’ he said
‘Yes, it comes with the job’ I said
‘What job?’ he said ‘I’ll show you’.
She begins to unpick the stitches of a pillow.
So he drove me past these meadows
with rabbits and things—pheasants—
scuttling away to their holes
until we reached a beech-lined drive
which led to the facility
a kind of low concrete facility
a concrete and in fact windowless—yes—facility
where Robert
who’d spent his years at university
marching for peace
had been given a budget
staff and a number of caged dogs
and a number of caged primates
—macaques, were they?—
to develop weapons.
He showed me the park.
He knew the names of the wild flowers
flowers I hadn’t even noticed
until he separated the grass where we were lying
and broke off the white stars.
I was so young! Next to the stream I did
of course I did the predictable things he wanted
except—because I was pregnant now—
let him touch me.
But the thing is
what I’m trying to say is
is on that day at the facility
he gave me this
She produces a glass tube the size of a pen-top.
which he said was his ‘baby’.
He told me that this
whatever it is
chemical
that this chemical
his baby
took the will to fight out of a soldier
by making the soldier yearn for a safe place
making him feel the need of a safe place
an absolute need
for the love and the reassurance
of the person he was closest to.
Humane
was the word he used
to describe his baby.
I know it sounds mad
but I believed him.
Slight pause.
(Laughs.) Don’t look at me like that.
Housekeeper Like what, Amelia?
Amelia Like I’m out of / my mind.
Beautician It’s probably just water. Show me.
Physiotherapist Does it smell?
Beautician It smells of scent.
Amelia That’s from the drawer. I keep it in my perfume drawer.
Beautician How does it open?
Amelia It doesn’t: you have to break the glass.
Housekeeper And he called it humane.
Amelia Yes. Why not?
Physiotherapist Weird.
Slight pause.
Beautician Amelia. Catch.
Beautician tosses the tube to Amelia who—terrified—catches it.
Amelia Idiot.
Housekeeper, Physiotherapist and Beautician laugh.
Ignoring them, Amelia carefully inserts the tube inside the pillow.
Jonathan appears.
Jonathan What’s the joke, ladies?
Amelia Come here.
Jonathan Oh?
Amelia Come here. Come on. Closer. Closer.
She kisses him at length. As she does so, Laela appears, holding a wet flannel to her face, and watches like the others.
Jonathan And what have I done to deserve that?
Amelia You’re going to be my messenger.
Jonathan Oh? What’s the message?
Amelia You’re going to explain how nice I’ve been to the children—particularly to Laela.
Jonathan Uh-hu.
Amelia Because you’ve seen—you’ve all seen—yes?—how generously I’ve accepted the situation.
Jonathan Uh-hu. And?
Amelia And nothing.
He tries to move away. She stops him.
Oh yes: one other thing.
You’re flying out to the camp
to pin medals on the boys
and to support my husband—yes?
Well listen
to remind him of home
to help him sleep before he finally comes home
I have a white pillow
I want you to take out to him.
Tell him to think of me.
Tell him to push his face
into the soft part of the white pillow
and his mouth
and his tongue
tell him to push his whole face into the white pillow until
he feels something smooth and hard inside the white pillow
snap.
Slight pause.
Will you do that, Jonathan?
Jonathan It will take up space.
Amelia His tongue?
Jonathan The pillow, Amelia.
Amelia You have power. Make space.
During the preceding speech she has allowed Jonathan to touch her. Now she gently removes his hand.
Music: 1936 recording of Billie Holiday singing ‘I Can’t Give You Anything But Love’.
The messenger
Jonathan
must not be distracted from the message.
TWO
Evening. Music from previous scene continues uninterrupted as Housekeeper, Physiotherapist and Beautician prepare the room for the General’s return.
Voice of Billie Holiday
I can’t give you anything but love
baby.
That’s the only thing I’ve plenty of
baby.
Scheme a while
dream a while
you’re sure to find
happiness
and I guess
all those things you’ve always pined for.
Gee I’d like to see you looking swell
baby.
Diamond bracelets Woolworth’s doesn’t sell
baby.
Until that lucky day
you know darn well
baby
I can’t give you anything but love.
Amelia enters in the red dress she mentioned previously.
Her hair is elegant. She inspects the room. She turns off the music.
Amelia Zip me up will you.
Beautician attempts to zip up the dress.
Oh by the way
I think something’s happened to one of the children.
Yes I think
well no not think I know
that something’s happened to one of those children.
I told them not to touch my things.
You heard me—didn’t you—say that
say ‘don’t touch my things’.
But one of them’s been in my drawer
been poking their fingers into my perfume drawer
had all my perfume out
had the whole drawer out and / broken it.
Housekeeper Wrong with them?
Amelia What?
Housekeeper You said something happened?
Amelia Hurry up with this zip can’t you?
Beautician It’s tight.
Amelia It’s meant to be tight—it’s a / tight dress.
Hou
sekeeper Happened to who? Laela?
Amelia What? No. The little one. It got something on its fingers and stopped breathing—you’re hurting me.
Beautician Sorry.
Physiotherapist Stopped breathing?
Amelia You’re hurting me—be careful.
Physiotherapist What d’you mean it / stopped breathing?
Amelia Oh nothing, nothing—leave me alone!
The zip is finally done up. Amelia smoothes the dress over her hips.
I told you:
one moment it was poking around in the drawer
and the next it momentarily
just momentarily stopped breathing.
It’s fine—it’s had a strawberry yoghurt—
it’s watching TV—it’s fine—
Laela washed its hands
and put it in front of the TV
with a packet of crisps and a yoghurt
and it’s absolutely fine—I swear to you.
And of course we’ve looked in the drawer:
Laela’s looked—I’ve looked—we’ve both—
well of course we’ve both of us
had that drawer completely to pieces
and looked and looked
but apart from the splinters of wood
there’s nothing—Laela agrees—
she agrees with me
there’s nothing in the drawer that could’ve made this happen.
So why should I feel afraid?
Mmm?
I have to ask myself—you see—
exactly why this thing this
whatever it is this
coincidence—yes—obviously—but why this
coincidence is frightening me.
And of course once I start asking myself that question
I start thinking about Robert and Robert’s friends:
all Robert’s friends at university
with their tobacco tins.
I keep seeing the little shreds
of dry tobacco in their tobacco tins
and the grey light in the stairwells
of their squatted apartments where they planned
—what?—to ‘overthrow the state’
‘kill the pigs’ blah blah blah
‘liberate’—by which they meant fuck—women—all that shit—all that liberate
