I rolled my eyes dramatically, trying to hide my smile. I knew exactly why Jake wanted to buy the Blizzard. His blossoming crush on Jenna was completely obvious. Jake put Jenna's Blizzard in his cup holder and started driving toward Jenna's house. Within ten minutes we were there. That was one of the perks to North Bay—you could get anywhere within ten or fifteen minutes, providing there wasn't any construction or accidents. People in North Bay seemed to know how to drive in the snow a lot better than people down south. Probably because the people in North Bay had to adjust to almost eight solid months of snow, while people down south barely got a dusting around Christmas time.
We pulled up into Jenna's driveway and Jake hesitated. I could tell he wanted to come in, but wasn't sure if he would be welcome.
"You have her Blizzard, trust me…you'll be more welcome than me," I told him, jumping out of his Jeep and slamming the door. I nearly slipped on the ice patch under my feet, and grabbed the Jeep's handle to steady myself. My coffee sloshed over my hand, the hot liquid burning my skin slightly. "Fuck," I muttered, switching the coffee over to my other hand and wiping my right hand on the bottom of my jeans angrily.
"You okay?" Jake asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm fine," I said, frowning and feeling anything but. We walked up the front steps and I knocked on the door before opening it. I'd been to visit Jenna so many times before, that I felt totally comfortable just walking in, especially knowing that her parents would be at work for another two hours at least. I kicked off my boots and called out Jenna's name. Jake followed me inside, keeping quiet as he held onto his coffee and Jenna's Blizzard.
"In here!" Jenna called back. I found her in the living room, watching MTV's Jersey Shore.
"Again?" I rolled my eyes. "This show is so stupid it's actually painful."
"What else am I supposed to do?" Jenna pouted. "There's not much on during the day."
"Read a book?" I suggested, repressing the urge to laugh at her death glare.
"I have, I've read six this week so far. My eyes hurt," Jenna retorted hotly. "Oh, hi Jake," Jenna straightened up a little as Jake walked in behind me. She subconsciously adjusted the blanket over her belly to hide it and ran a hand through her already perfect hair. She shot me a look that said Some warning would have been nice. I figured the text would have been warning enough, but apparently not.
"Hey," he grinned, looking as if he felt a little awkward. He held up her Blizzard. "We got you this…"
"Oh, thank you!" Jenna blushed, accepting it as he handed it to her. She timidly looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back.
"Oh good Lord," I grumbled, falling onto the couch opposite to Jenna. Both of them turned to stare at me, Jake with an amused smile and Jenna with embarrassment. "Cut the crap you two. It's okay to be into each other."
"I—" Jenna blushed deeper, glaring at me.
"Well, that wasn't awkward." Jake rolled his eyes, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
"Just get her number and make plans or something," I told him, trying to keep the note of bitterness out of my tone. It'd be easy for them to be together. They didn't have to worry about being discovered; they wouldn't have a forbidden relationship. Okay, so it wouldn't be as easy for them as it would for most considering Jenna's condition, but they stood a better chance than me and Iain. At least nobody would end up in jail.
"She's on to something," Jake said, looking at Jenna expectantly. "So…can I have your number?"
"Yeah…sure," Jenna's blue eyes were almost bright with excitement. She gave him her number as he programmed it into his phone.
"I'll text you so you know mine," Jake said, quickly typing a text into his phone. We heard Jenna's go off on the arm of the couch beside her, and she smiled.
"See? That wasn't so terrible," I remarked dryly, leaning back. I took another sip of my still hot coffee, staring ahead of me. Jenna and Jake exchanged a look, and he shrugged at her.
"I'll catch you guys later," he said, making leave. Jenna waited until we heard him pull away from her driveway to start in on me.
"What's gotten into you?" she demanded, adjusting her body so that she was facing me. Her belly was getting rounder every day, part of the reason why she had decided to do correspondence.
I tried to think of an answer that would satisfy Jenna that wouldn't give away too much of my situation with Iain. My mouth opened and closed several times before I finally settled on my answer. "Guy troubles."
Jenna stared at me, waiting for more. She raised one eyebrow delicately. "What kind of 'guy troubles'?" she asked, even going as far as to give finger quotations.
"The kind that I can't really talk about," I shrugged. "It's complicated."
"Oh, I bet it is," Jenna said, smiling like a Cheshire cat.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, frowning. I didn't have the patience for games right now. I was in quite the foul mood, thanks to my direction of thoughts that afternoon. I just wanted to go home and sleep, but I had promised Jenna I would come by.
"I think I know," Jenna said softly, muting the TV to shut out Snooki's irritating drivel about guidos.
"Know what?" my frown deepened as my heartbeat increased, but I kept my hand steady as I brought my coffee up to my lips to take another sip.
"Ben," Jenna said after a moment. "He's…not really Ben, is he? It's…Mr. Bentley. I've seen the way you guys look at each other…"
I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I hadn't realized Jenna had been paying that much attention. I took another sip of my coffee, trying to buy myself some time.
"That's ridiculous," I said, giving her a look that said You are clearly off your rocker. Jenna gave me a silencing look.
"Oh please. I'm not an idiot," she said, rolling her eyes. "There's an…energy, about you two." She gazed off into the distance with a small smile on her lips.
I winced, unsure of this entire conversation.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to rat you guys out," Jenna said, shaking her head to clear whatever thoughts she'd been having. "Frankly, I'm kind of impressed. Mr. Bentley is hot."
I put my coffee down on the end table with shaky hands and leaned forward, covering my face with my hands. I didn't know what to say or do. I couldn't deny it, not without really looking like I was lying. Jenna would know, and then she'd be hurt that I hadn't told her the truth.
"So…" Jenna pressed gently, her voice edging into my panicked thoughts. "What kind of trouble with 'Ben'?"
"Just…trouble. Outside influences rocking the boat, so we're 'cooling it.'" I shrugged. It was easier to talk to her when she called Iain 'Ben,' I could still pretend that Jenna had no idea who Ben really was.
"I'd show up on his doorstep, personally," Jenna shrugged. "Demand an explanation. Not leave until I got it."
"No, you wouldn't," I laughed. "You could barely give Jake your number without turning a very adorable shade of pink."
"Well, circumstances are a bit different, aren't they?" Jenna smiled sadly, absently putting her hand on her swollen stomach. "It's hard to be confident with…"
"I know," I said quickly, feeling guilty. "But it's actually tough for us too, believe it or not. Ia----Ben could go to jail for sexual exploitation. He's our teacher…Besides, I seriously don't even think Jake sees that. I mean, he sees it…but not the way you think. He sees you as a remarkably strong and admirable person."
"Why?" Jenna asked, wisely ignoring to comment on Iain and instead focusing on Jake. "How do you know that?"
"Jake's an open book, he's super easy to read," I said, shrugging. "It's the subtle asking about you every day, the way he smiles at you…that kind of thing. He's into you."
"Now is kind of a bad time…" Jenna frowned, looking down at her stomach.
"Hey, if you find a guy that's willing to stick around for this? He's a keeper. If Jake's interested in you, it's because he's interested in you," I said.
"If you're so full of sage advice, why don't you go talk to 'Ben'? Read
him." Jenna smirked.
I sighed. "Because…" I thought about the photos, and the subtle threat behind them. I thought about our conversation the other night, about why Iain wanted to cool it. It wasn't because he didn't love me or didn't want to be with me; it's because he wanted the possibility of that happening long term. He didn't want to end up in jail. He was looking toward the future while I was rooted in the present. If we continued to see each other, that would just allow the photographer another chance at snapping a photo, and it might be one that would get Iain into serious trouble. It was better to lay low for a while.
I didn't tell Jenna about any of that. I didn't want to stress her out about the trial. "Maybe I will…" I said finally, hoping to appease her.
"And maybe I'll give Jake a chance," she smiled demurely.
* * * *
The next few days went by quickly. I went to school, took notes like a good little student, and booked an appointment with the guidance counselor to discuss my post-secondary education. She was a middle-aged friendly woman who was absolutely confident that I'd get accepted into the University of Ottawa, but still encouraged me to apply to a few different universities. I chose Carleton University and Laurentian University as well, not overly concerned with where I went. Carleton would be just as nice, as it was in Ottawa too.
For some reason, I was hung on Ottawa. I felt a force, pulling me toward that direction.
I kept busy, hanging out with Jake on break and focusing as much as I could on schooling. Despite my forced smile and attempts at staying social, I was becoming numb. Each day I grew more and more anxious. The jury had requested an extra week to decide, and it felt as if the entire town stood in limbo.
I was beginning to shut down again, just like I had after the accident. Too many things were happening, and my brain felt muddled and overwhelmed. I shook my head, willing myself to snap out of it. I knew not to let one person affect my happiness so much, but Iain wasn't just a guy. He was the love of my life. Besides, it was more than that. It was the fear that our secret would be discovered, the fear that he'd face serious legal repercussions and grow to resent me. What love could flourish under those circumstances?
* * * *
The jury reached their decision that Friday morning. Andrew got 600 hours of community service, a year of therapy, and a smear on his permanent record. A slap on the wrist, really, but if he ever dared to sexually assault a girl again, he would face more the more serious repercussions of jail time and registering as a sex offender.
The Police Department was making a lot of discoveries in the investigation of Carl Cooper's play in it all. The Police Department had even chosen another police officer to act as Chief of Police. The word on the street was that Carl Cooper was livid.
I heard all the townsfolk chatter at work that Saturday morning, a day after the jury's decision, while I brought pancakes and plates of eggs to tables and refilled coffee mugs. It was the kind of gossip that I didn't mind hearing, despite the prickly, fearful sensation in the pit of my stomach that seemed to be constantly there.
"I bet they're ashamed," one of the elderly ladies that regularly came in to gossip was saying to another one. I was pretty sure it was the same two that were gossiping about how sweet Andrew had been. "After that scandal, I wouldn't want to show my face in public again."
"And that poor girl," the other one tittered, shaking her head remorsefully. I held back my comments, continuing past their table to the register.
I massaged my forehead, feeling stifled. Danielle gave me a sympathetic, understanding look.
"How are you?" I asked her, forgetting about my feelings. I knew how hard it must have been to relive Rachel's trauma inside a court room and in front of Andrew Cooper, the guy who started Rachel's issues that ultimately led to her suicide.
"I'm fine," she assured me, giving me a brave smile. "How's your friend? Jenna?"
"Good," I replied, doing up some rolls of utensils while we talked. Danielle nodded.
"At least the town can't ignore it now," she whispered, glancing at the patrons.
"That's true," I nodded, agreeing with her statement. There was definitely no hushing it.
The rest of my shift was the same, the entire diner full of gossip about the Coopers. By the time I headed for home, my head was nearly splitting in two.
Although I desperately wanted to, I resisted the urge to walk to Iain's house. Instead, I trekked home, keeping one hand on my cell phone and both eyes obsessively scanning my surroundings. I kept imagining Carl Cooper and Andrew trying to run me down again, only this time…succeeding. I saw no sign of a blue truck on my walk though.
I really need to get a damn car, I thought, angry at myself, tired of the fear of walking home.
Half an hour later, I was home. I slid out of my jacket and boots, and snagged a quick shower to wash the greasy diner smell from my hair and skin. As I was drying my hair, I heard my cell phone's shrill ring tone from my bedroom. I wrapped my towel around my body, allowing my wet hair to fall back down, and raced to my room.
"Hello?" I said breathlessly.
"Did you hear?" Jenna's voice was animated. "Carl Cooper is under arrest for obstruction of justice!"
"Yes!" I said, unable to stop the wide grin from spreading across my face. I sat down on my bed, wet hair still dripping down my arms.
"Yup," Jenna reported smugly. "Serves him right. I'm just surprised that he didn't try to come after me."
Frankly, I wasn't all that surprised. Carl Cooper saw me as a threat because I stood up to both him and his son. I was verbal, and defiant. Jenna had laid low. I was pretty sure Carl hadn't even known the name of Andrew's latest victim, the one that was pressing charges, until the Burkes had already pressed them. I suppose a lot of it had to do with how influential Mr. Burke was too.
"Well, that's good, right?" I said, believing that it was good. Still, I couldn't help the dreadful well of anxiety in the pit of my belly. I tried to calm my nerves, focusing on the good that this news brought.
"Yeah," Jenna paused, lower her voice slightly. "Do you think…it's safe now?" I knew what she was talking about—Iain and I.
"I don't think it will ever be safe," I said, my own voice just as low. "At least not here…" I frowned, playing with a loose thread on my towel.
"If I were you, I'd run away with him," Jenna said.
After hanging up the phone, I couldn't stop replaying Jenna's words in my mind. Run away with him, the sickly sweet voice urged. I could almost picture us…together, happy, no restrictions on our relationship. No fear looming over us at every single moment. I chewed on my lip, debating whether I should call Iain, but I knew it was best to lay low. At least for a while longer, until I was certain everything wasn't going to blow up in my face.
Chapter Fifteen
I wasn't naïve enough to think that Iain and I could immediately be together after Carl Cooper's arrest. I knew that so long as I was a student and Iain taught at my high school, it was incredibly dangerous to entertain even the thought of a future together. Someone somewhere had photos of us. It was a bomb, set to detonate at any minute. I tried my best to keep myself from thinking about it. I spent too many of the weeks after Carl Cooper's arrest scarcely breathing, terrified that Iain would get arrested. Each day it didn't happen, the hope grew…as did the fear.
I focused my best efforts on my schoolwork, keeping my grades high so that the universities I applied at would have no reason to turn me away. I also finally dove into my savings and bought a secondhand car. It was nothing fancy, just a black 2001 Honda Civic. The best part about it was that it was mine. I knew I didn't necessarily need it to get around North Bay, but it helped my anxiety. No more walking alone at night, no more waiting fully exposed to unseen enemies. Besides, it'd be convenient when I left for university in the fall. I'd have my own set of wheels and wouldn't have to depend on public transportation.
"I don't know why the photos haven't surfaced," I said to Jenna one night in the middle
of April. We were hanging out at her place, watching yet another Ryan Reynolds movie.
Since Carl Cooper's arrest (and the relocation of his wife and son), I'd opened up to Jenna more about what "outside influence" had interrupted our blissful state of ignorance.
"I don't know," Jenna frowned, absently rubbing her swollen belly. She was so huge, it looked like she would go into labor any minute. In reality, she wasn't due for another three or four weeks. "Maybe it was an empty threat?" she offered, looking at me hopefully.
"I don't think the Coopers do empty threats," I sighed. Jenna opened her mouth to say something, but instead she let out a choked gasp, doubling forward and clenching her stomach. Her face filled with agonizing pain.
"Jenna!" I jumped up, racing to her side.
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