by Diane Lau
My Master’s eyes held concern but he smiled a little. “I thought you might develop some negative feelings for Lyrus…but rage won’t help you, Padawan. It will all be over tomorrow night. Tomorrow night I’ll tell you everything, you’ll see me with your own eyes, Aeli. But first we have other work to do.”
I clung to his sleeve. “Oh Master, I miss…I miss being a Jedi.”
“In one more day, I promise you’ll get to be a Jedi again. Now sleep soundly for the night.” He put his arm behind me and eased me down onto the bed of stars. “No more pain till morning, Aeli. I’ll take back your will from you while you sleep. You won’t even feel it this time.”
I closed my eyes and all that was left was his voice. “I’m sorry, forgive me…but now you must forget this happened…” Then I found myself in complete blackness.
* * *
I awoke the next day in a sort of numb emptiness. My Master Lyrus, it seemed, would let long hours go by without bothering about any particular one of us Jedi; that is, we were without guidance as to what our desires should be. The whole place seemed almost to move in slow motion: We Jedi were listless as we took turns getting food from the kitchen, and the battle droids who stood guard had no reason to move at all. There was no sign of Lyrus or Sidious.
I was in my room, basically waiting, when a Jedi Knight walked in and came up to me. “Aelida Camil?” he asked, with the closest thing to urgency I had observed yet among my new companions.
“Yes,” I replied.
“I am Puer Xis. Master Lyrus desires that I show you the training room and brief you for tomorrow. Follow me, and bring your lightsaber.”
I knew this man’s name. I recalled he was an old friend of Auri-Owan, I had heard stories about him. This knowledge was irrelevant to anything, so I made no comment about it. If he knew my past, he was not inclined to say anything either.
There were stairs leading from the kitchen to the underground level of the building. At one time this must have been quite a large storage area: the ceilings were high and most of the place was one large room. In various corners, a few Jedi worked with lightsabers and target droids, or fought each other with practice sabers.
Puer Xis spoke sternly. “It’s imperative that we keep fit, and keep our skills in order. It’s a matter of discipline. You are scheduled here for the next two hours. Use your time well, I will be watching you as if with Lyrus’s own eyes.”
And he put me in a far corner and supplied me with a target. My spirits lifted slightly. At last I had a cause, and not an unpleasant one. Puer Xis wandered off to observe the others, so I started my work. I began as always with the Three Routines, it was instinctive. But when I sought the Force as usual, it was not at all the same. I found a rippling, unsettling darkness that confused me. I was still struggling with it when I felt myself abruptly being slapped.
It was Xis. “I know what you’re doing!” he cried angrily. “Our Master would be furious if he knew! The ridiculous ways of that Jedi Knight are not bothered with here. Now practice with the droid.”
I felt less anguish at this than might have been expected. I had committed the act out of ignorance, I hadn’t had any order from Lyrus. Still, I had been foolish not to realize that following the Routines of Auri-Owan, no matter how broadly they were accepted, would be an offense here. I was seized with fear that Xis would speak to Lyrus of what I had done, and my Master would punish me with neglect and abandonment. I began working with the target droid with all my energy, hoping somehow to redeem myself.
Later Puer Xis returned to fight me himself with practice sabers. It was clear that my Master’s will was for me to perform at my finest level, and although my connection to the Force was weirdly twisted, I still found power to draw on. The Dark Side felt very different, but operated much the same. Xis found me a formidable opponent in every match.
He offered me no praise, but when we were done he left quickly and urgently, no doubt to report to Lyrus and Sidious. He told me to make myself presentable, have lunch, and wait for him in my room.
I waited quite a long time, and of course, time seemed to crawl here. When finally Xis entered the room, he motioned for my roommate to leave us and she slunk away. He sat on her bed and I sat on mine.
“Tomorrow a group of us will leave here on a mission. Darth Sidious has determined that you should participate. This is only because you are talented and even more because he sees your complete devotion to Master Lyrus. We’ll take a transport to Coruscant at dawn. We’ll ambush a group of Jedi in the southern continent and take as many prisoners as we can, killing the rest. For now there is little you need to know except that. And that you should take care to preserve yourself, you are valuable to Lord Sidious. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“There is work to be done to prepare for the mission. That should occupy the rest of your day. Tonight you must rest, the day begins early and you’ll be expected to be able to fight at any time, including on the transport if we should be attacked and boarded. Go to the kitchen now, the work detail is being organized there.”
I did not see Lyrus all day except once, when he passed me in the hall. He did not acknowledge me. I knew I was doing my work for him, though, so I felt nothing. I was mostly relieved I hadn’t earned his displeasure.
The day left me very fatigued, and I was glad to go to my room after the evening meal. Glad is too strong a word; my body was glad, but my mind was once again distressed at having no purpose given to me by my Master other than to rest. Still, that was something. I let myself fall asleep quickly.
I was awakened only a little later by the opening of the door. I turned in the bed and found Master Lyrus approaching quietly, having closed the door behind him. He sat next to me on the bed. “So, already asleep, my favorite Padawan?”
I sat up eagerly. “Master Lyrus…”
“Lord Sidious has given me the duty to visit all those going on tomorrow’s mission. He seems to think there could be any doubt of your loyalty to me.”
“Of course not, Master.”
Lyrus caught my chin in his hand. In the dim light I could see his eyes afire with vehemence. “The day after tomorrow you will finally be able to enjoy yourself, Aeli. I think killing for me will be the most satisfying thing you’ve ever done.”
I stared back, thinking the expression of eagerness on my face would say more than any words.
“But to be true to my duty, I ought to test your faithfulness,” said Lyrus slyly.
I had been sleeping only in my shirt and leggings. He pulled the blanket off me and then tore my shirt open. My breasts were exposed to him, but I felt neither arousal nor shame. Mostly I was just glad he was finding me of use, and hopeful that he would give me some sort of desire to feel.
He stared at my breasts for awhile, and I thought he might caress me at any moment, but then he drew his hand back and slapped my right breast, hard. Tears sprung to my eyes from the pain but I made no sound.
“Excellent,” said Lyrus softly.
Then I heard the voice of Darth Sidious out in the hall. “Lyrus! Where are you? Attend me, Lyrus!”
My Master cursed under his breath and shoved me back down onto the bed. “Cover yourself, woman,” he hissed.
Lyrus hurried out of the room and I heard his voice and Sidious’s retreat back down the hall. I pulled my shirt closed and drew the blanket back. My breast was hot and stung, I felt all over my body a nameless, unpleasant feeling, and my stomach was queasy. I did not know what I was supposed to think about any of this. So I pondered what a relief it would be to have a lightsaber in my hand and the task of killing Jedi, a simple, clear assignment that would, as Lyrus promised, give me at last a sense of meaning. Finally fatigue overwhelmed me.
I was awakened in the dead of night by a sense of overwhelming turmoil. At first I couldn’t even think coherently, then the confusion began to clear. I thought I heard a voice, but when I sat up to listen, the entire building seemed still.
&nb
sp; Aeli…Aeli, it’s me.
“Brenan?” I replied, but in my head. Oh, Brenan!—I knew him again!
It’s over, Aeli. Wake up now.
“Where are you?”
I’m on my way, soon. Pretend you’re sleeping, and listen to me.
Suddenly my memory of the past two days hit me like a slap in the face. Dismay, horror, shame nearly overwhelmed me—
My Padawan, listen to me. It’s over now.
I shuddered and clung to his voice for warmth. “I feel…so awful,” was all I could manage.
I know.
“Did you make Sidious come and call for Lyrus…before it was too late?”
Sidious intended to do it, just not quite that soon. It wasn’t difficult to hurry him.
“Thank you.”
I told you I wouldn’t let harm come to you…although I’m not sure I fully kept that promise. This was much worse than I expected.
“I would do it again to save these poor Jedi, Brenan,” I told him, and meant it. Only I could fully understand the hell they were going through.
All right, then that’s what we’ll do. In a few minutes I’ll be coming in the back entry. You come down and I’ll meet you on the first level.
“But the guard droids…?”
Don’t worry about them. I’ll tell you exactly when to come. Walk at a normal pace, everyone’s asleep and the droids in the halls shouldn’t suspect you. Dress, and bring your saber, concealed of course.
“Then what will we do?”
You know the Jedi will come after us at once, hell bent on killing us. We have to avoid them and get to the underground room right away. I’m counting on Lyrus’s desire to kill me himself. In my…spare time…I’ve been working on that suggestion to him as much as possible.
“Then he’ll have to fight us both.”
No, Aeli, you must keep up the charade as long as you can. We’ll act as if I took you hostage and the Jedi forced us down the stairs. I’ll keep them at bay, and if I’m right about Lyrus, he’ll want to take me on himself, alone.
“So even with Sidious there, we’ll have even odds.”
I hope Sidious is there. I’ve observed him enough to know he prefers above all else to make sure his life is preserved. I’m not confident he will join the fight. But I hope so, this is the Jedi Order’s best chance yet to be rid of him. But one thing is very important, Aeli: We have to delude Lyrus as long as we can into believing you’re still under his control. As much as he’d like to defeat me single-handedly, if he realizes your will is free, he’ll prefer protecting his own life. And once he realizes it, we’ll have another problem too…
“What’s that, Brenan?” I asked trepidatiously.
He’ll immediately try to take your will, this time for real.
I shuddered.
I’ll have my hands full already, because he’ll already be trying to do it to me as we’re fighting. That will hinder me quite a bit. If he switches his efforts to you, I’ll be able to fight more successfully, but I won’t be able to help you fend him off. And I doubt you can do it alone.
“If that happens, what will we do?”
Hope that I can kill him before he turns one of the best swordswomen in the galaxy against me. I’m almost to the building now, my Padawan…dress quietly and be ready when I call you.
“Yes, Master,” I said, with resolution.
My roommate didn’t stir as I slipped on the rest of my clothes and holstered my lightsaber, a fairly difficult task when the only light came from under the door. I stood poised to leave, waiting for Brenan’s command. Any dread I felt concerning the challenge at hand was far outweighed by my joy at being free of Lyrus’s control, even if it had only been an illusion. I was a Jedi again, I had my free will back, and my best friend would stand before me in minutes.
Come down now, came the word.
I opened the door stealthily, and walked to the stairs, ignoring the two battle droids on guard in the hall. I padded down the stairs two flights and made my way toward the kitchen, my heart pounding.
Brenan met me in the hallway and seized me at once. He clapped his hand over my mouth.
If anyone comes, struggle.
Beyond him the door of the back entrance was standing open. The two guard droids were still, but I noticed a slight slump to their heads.
Incapacitated. I was quite sure I could do that one way or the other, but I’m glad I managed it the silent way.
“How did you get in?” I queried back, in my head.
My mind worked the locks. I’ve been practicing that awhile.
“Is there anything you can’t do?” I found it hard to contain my joy—and awe—in spite of our dire circumstances.
Yes, quite a bit. But I seem to find new things everyday that are possible. Here come the droids—now its time to make some noise and draw out our prey.
As I watched, more battle droids came from the front room and down the stairs. I was ready at any moment to get out of the way when Brenan drew his saber, but this proved unnecessary. I felt a wave of energy from him, harmless to me, but it repelled the droids with such a blast that they hit the walls and shattered into parts. It was incredible. Then one broken chunk of metal bounced of a corner of the wall and we had to dodge to avoid being hit. Brenan took the opportunity to lose his grip over my mouth.
Call for Lyrus.
“Master Lyrus!” I screamed as loud as I could.
A second wave of droids came down the stairs and met the same fate as the first. Again, I could hardly believe my eyes. I had to force my amazement back to keep my wits about me. I yelled for Lyrus again, and in the next moment two—no three—Jedi appeared on the stairs.
Now it gets tricky.
We were in position by the stairwell to the lower level, so it actually seemed plausible for us to retreat that way. Brenan dragged me down the stairs, brandishing his saber at the same time.
The Jedi pursued us furiously. I could hear more commotion upstairs. Brenan tossed me aside into a corner and I had to fall carefully not to get hurt—but I pretended to be incapacitated. At the bottom of the stairs he engaged lightsabers with the first of the Jedi, a hearty-looking male Padawan. I sat watching carefully, wondering how he would handle this. The exchange lasted but a minute before Brenan succeeded in gouging his opponent across the forehead: just a flesh wound, but one that caused him to bleed profusely into his eyes. Blinded and in pain, the man fell back.
Then I noticed above him on the stairs was Puer Xis. “Watch yourselves, if any of you let yourselves be killed, our Masters will be angry!”
I nearly laughed at this ridiculous statement, but at the same time, I remembered very recently being in a state that I might have said such a thing myself.
“Help him,” Xis instructed the nearest Jedi. “To Rwan-Tem, he’s a physician. Hurry!”
The fallen Jedi was dragged up the stairwell, and Puer Xis himself moved to the front of the onslaught. I felt Brenan’s dismay. To stall for time—time that hopefully would bring us Lyrus—he extended the fight with Xis as long as he could. Finally he managed to deliver a vicious slash to Puer’s right arm. The Knight held on to his lightsaber with his left hand but the pain was too much for him to continue the fight. He looked at Brenan with rage and backed up the stairs.
“Forgive me,” said my Master, quietly.
A pair of Padawans next drew their sabers. I longed to help, but I had to continue the ruse. Brenan kept them easily at bay, and I sensed he figured Lyrus had to be arriving soon—if he could only stall another minute or two, there would be no need for more injuries. The two Jedi got more in each other’s way than anything else, so it wasn’t hard for my Master to delay.
Then: “Let me pass!” came a shriek from the top of the stairs.
I raised my head a little and saw Lyrus come into view. The Jedi parted for him and he drew his saber as he descended. He cast me a glance, saw I was alive, then gave his full attention to Brenan.
“Auri-Owan!” Lyrus
cried.
“My Padawan wishes to come back to me,” said Brenan, baiting him.
In my head he cued me. “He lies!” I shouted to Lyrus. “I would never leave you, Master!”
“Give her to me and I’ll kill you,” said Lyrus to Brenan. “Refuse and I’ll kill you both.”
“Not a good offer,” said Brenan, taking a swipe with his saber. Lyrus dodged back and nearly fell into the Jedi behind him. “Is that the offer your Master would extend to me?”
“My Master,” said Lyrus bitterly, “is out of your reach. He wouldn’t be so foolish as to risk himself in this petty conflict. Surrender!” With this he lunged at Brenan, who parried and held his ground.
“Unless you kill me, I’m leaving with Aeli,” responded Brenan calmly.
“I won’t go with you!” I cried.
“You see, she has no care for you, Jedi,” said Lyrus with a broad swipe of his saber.
“You’re a coward, Lyrus…” Brenan dodged back but recovered his stance quickly and returned the blow. “You’ll fight me only if the odds are 50 to one!”
The two locked beams for a moment and I nearly went for my lightsaber.
“I don’t need these Jedi slaves to help me…” countered Lyrus.
“Then send them away! Prove you’re not a coward. As of now, I’m hardly convinced.” To accentuate his point, Brenan lunged and forced Lyrus up a step.
For a moment the Sith Apprentice stood snarling. Then he shouted. “I’m not risking any more of you…everyone, upstairs! Leave him to me!”
The Jedi behind him shrunk back at the force of his rage, then retreated obediently. Lyrus re-engaged my Master and for a moment Brenan I felt Brenan’s head swim a little. I realized Lyrus was working on him, just as he had expected. He recovered, but not before giving enough ground that Lyrus broke into the room.
The two went at the battle full force then. I could both see from Brenan’s technique and feel from my connection to him that he was struggling with Lyrus’s psychic attempts for control. Still, he was the superior swordsman and held his own. I wondered at the wisdom of my continuing to stay out of the fray…surely I could break in swiftly and Lyrus would have no time to react.
