He opened his door, and I followed suit, giving myself a mini pep talk. Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine.
“Mercy, this is Quinn,” he introduced us when the two of them met me on the sidewalk.
“Hi, Quinn.” Jason walked to my side and grabbed my hand, ready to walk us to the front door. “Nice to meet you.”
The girl was staring at us, her mouth opening and closing like a fish gulping for air on land. Great, one sister already speechless, and I hadn’t said more than hello.
“Delaney said you were pretty, but, wow, you’re gorgeous.” She winked at Jason. “Good going, bro.”
Jason was stunned. Quinn was smiling like a loon, and I decided I really liked her. She and I were cut from the same filterless cloth.
“You know Hadley and Adalynn were spying from the front window, right?” She laughed. “You’re totally busted.”
“Clocked them as soon as we pulled up,” he informed her.
“What?”
“The twins are nosey. They’d sit by the window and wait for Delaney to get home from a date, so they could tattle and tell Mom and Dad what they saw.”
“Oh. Well, we weren’t doing anything.”
“Right. That’s why the windows were damn near fogged up.”
“Quinn,” Jason admonished. “Don’t embarrass Mercy.”
Her brows knitted together in concern. “Am I embarrassing you?”
“Hell, no. Takes more than pointing out steamed up windows because I was making out with your brother to embarrass me.” I heard a deep, male chuckle that was not Jason’s and now I was embarrassed. “Please tell me that’s not your dad and he didn’t just hear that.”
Quinn’s sweet laughter filled the night, and Jason’s joined hers.
“I love her,” Quinn declared. “Hi, Daddy.”
Quinn’s eyes went over my shoulder, and I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. Big fucking mouth already getting me in trouble, and we haven’t even made it into the house yet.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Nothing to be sorry for.” He kissed the top of my head and turned us around.
Holy smokes. Even in the fading light I could see how good looking Jason’s dad was. If he hadn’t told me that Jasper was not the man who’d contributed DNA, I’d never have ever known. They looked so similar.
“Dad, this is Mercy James. Mercy, this is my dad, Jasper.”
His dad stood a foot from us, eyes glued on our intertwined fingers. I tried to pull our hands apart, but Jason held fast. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Jasper’s gaze came to mine, and he cleared his throat.
“Pleasure to meet you, Mercy.”
“You, too, Mr. Walker.”
“Just Jasper. We better get you in the house, my girls are in there itching to meet you.”
Oh, boy. The moment of truth was upon us. Please don’t say anything lame. Jason followed his dad, pulling me behind him. My boots suddenly felt like they were made of cement, with each step they became heavier and heavier.
Of course, Jason would notice. As we stepped over the threshold into his childhood home with his mom and sisters waiting, he leaned down and whispered, “Just breathe.”
19
“You worry too much,” Hadley said, coming up beside me.
“What?”
“You’re watching over her like Mom’s gonna say something to offend her.”
My sister had it all wrong. I wasn’t watching my mom and Mercy because I was worried, I was staring at them because I was amazed at the ease with which Mercy had clicked into place. After the introductions had been made and the small talk had ensued, Mercy had asked if she could help my mom in the kitchen. She sweetly admitted she couldn’t cook but was good at cleaning. My mom welcomed her, and Mercy followed her with a single backward glance and a smile.
“I’m not worried, squeak.” Hadley smiled at the use of her old nickname.
“Glad you’re home, big brother.”
Her words hung in the air for a moment before they slammed into my chest. There was no missing the meaning of them. Was I finally home? Could the healing and mending begin? I sure hoped so. I’d missed this, missed seeing my family once a week, missed the connection.
“Sorry I’ve been such an ass.”
“Forgiven.” She smiled. “But don’t think Adalynn is going to forgive you so quick. You’ve missed a whole lotta Jake drama.”
“Who?”
Hadley’s smile faded, and her lips pulled in. What the hell had I missed? And who the fuck was Jake? I didn’t know any Jake.
“Yeah. That right there is why Lynn’s gonna be a little pissed at you.”
“Who’s Jake? Did he hurt her?” I hadn’t meant to growl but the thought of someone putting their hands on my sister and hurting her made me positively murderous.
“God. Now you sound like Dad. Dial it back. Jake was her . . . a boyfriend. He dumped her and broke her heart.”
“Where is he now?”
I wanted to find this Jake kid and teach him a lesson about breaking hearts, especially my sister’s.
“Afghanistan, I think, or maybe it’s Turkey now. She won’t talk about it.”
“He’s in the military?”
“Yeah. The Army.”
“Shit.”
“That about covers it. Everything was fine until he had to deploy. He broke it off and left.”
“What do you mean broke it off?”
“Just dumped her. Told her to lose his number and move on.”
“Why didn’t she tell me?”
“Huh? Really? You’ve been a little unavailable lately. And she did call you once to talk about it, and you blew her off.”
“Fuck.”
I needed some air, needed to think and clear my head. I knew I’d been a dick but I hadn’t realized how big of one. I’d turned my back on my baby sister. Being ten years older than the twins should’ve made it hard to connect to them, but it never was. Often times, they’d come to me for advice before talking to our parents. They’d all crashed at my house on weekends from time to time for some brother-sisters bonding time. I loved when they were around. And I’d turned my back on them. On everyone.
“What’s up, Bud?”
I should’ve known my dad would follow me outside. There was a reason my sisters had come to me, because we couldn’t hide anything from Dad. Nothing slipped by him. He always knew what was going on in their lives, but had trusted me to guide them, the same way he had me. And I’d fucked it up. Let him down.
“I fucked everything up.”
“Not everything.”
That was something else about my dad, he was a straight shooter and didn’t mince words. When one of us screwed up, he told us.
“Feels that way. I let you and Mom down. I let Lynn down.”
“Yeah, your sister was pretty bummed. That Jake kid fucked her over pretty good. Not that I didn’t understand why he did what he did. Kinda like I know why Carter’s taken his sweet ass time claiming Delaney.”
“Shit.” I shouldn’t have been surprised, yet there I was with my mouth hanging open.
“What? You don’t think all of us haven’t seen him dancing around her since she was too young for him to be looking?”
“Well, no. I figured anyone who paid attention would see that.”
“Right. So then you understand the only reason I haven’t kicked his ass is because I know he thinks he’s doing the right thing by her. Even if, as he’s doing it, it’s killing her. You know the hardest part of being a parent?”
I shook my head no. I hadn’t thought of what it would be like to be a parent. Not in any real way, I’d given up on the possibility of kids a long time ago.
“Watching them hurt and not being able to take the pain. Whether it was Lynn crying over some Army private who’d dumped her because he was leaving on deployment and he wanted her to experience college life. Or Delaney being in love with a man who has a protective streak a m
ile wide, and Lenox blood coursing through his veins. Which means, he’ll martyr himself for the woman he loves more than anything so she won’t suffer the possibility of losing him. Or your son pulling into himself because he lost his wife. I have to stand and eat that shit. When all I want to do is take on the pain you’re going through so you don’t feel a moment of grief. But I can’t. You had to go through it, son. You did, and now it’s time to start living again.”
“I’m trying. But I fucked everything up and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“You just do.”
“Now you sound like Mercy.”
“Knew she was smart.” My dad leveled me with one of his dad stares and didn’t allow me to look away. “Good thing about family is when you stumble and fuck up, we’re here to pick you back up. Lynn’s still stumbling. Delaney’s still trying to pretend the last visit from Carter didn’t affect her. And you’re finally back in the land of the living. It’s good to have you home, son.”
“Mom—”
“Is Mom. Strong, tough, and as gorgeous as ever.”
“Seriously?” I chuckled. “That’s my mom!”
“I’m aware. She’s also my wife. And, son, there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that woman hasn’t impressed me with the way she loves all of us. She’s been waiting for you.” A huge smile broke out on my dad’s face, and I braced. “It also hasn’t escaped my notice she’s as beautiful as the day I met her. Maybe it’s too soon for me to tell you this, but when you find the woman that means to you, what your mother means to me, there won’t be a day you forget it either. Your mom makes me invincible, there’s nothing I can’t do with her by my side. She’s given me five of the greatest kids a man can ask for. One day, son, when you’re standing where I’m standing, looking at your children and back on your life, I want your heart to be as full as mine. So goddam full it overflows.”
“I want kids,” I admitted. “I always have.”
I had to close my eyes at the sting. I’d never acknowledged it out loud. Once Kayla couldn’t conceive, it was off the table, and no one in my family ever brought it up.
“We know you did. We also know you were setting that part of yourself aside for Kayla.” Shit. I hadn’t meant to bring Kayla into this conversation. Not when Mercy was here for the first time. “But things have changed. Your circumstances have changed. It’s not too late for you to be a dad. I was your age when I met your mom.”
We stood in silence. My dad was letting me get my thoughts under control before we went back into the house.
“Thanks,” I murmured.
“You never have to thank me for being your dad. I love you, son. And that’s why I’m going to recommend we go back in the house now. Your sisters have been with your woman unattended for far too long. You’ll be lucky if they haven’t already told her the story about them making you pee your pants when you were sixteen.”
“I’ll strangle them.”
“Payback’s a bitch, son.” My dad clapped me on the back harder than I’d been expecting and I stumbled forward. “Besides, it’s pretty damn funny a ten-year-old, an eight-year-old, and two six-year-olds could tackle and tickle their brother until he pissed himself.”
“It was a sneak attack. And what was I supposed to do? The only way to make them stop was to hurt one of them,” I grumbled.
“And that’s what made you the best big brother those four girls could ever have had. You wouldn’t have dared hurt one of them.”
My heart ached at his words. “Yet I have.”
“Fix it.”
We walked into the house, and, sure as shit, my four sisters, my mom, and Mercy were rolling with laughter. I should’ve been embarrassed since it was at my expense, but, instead, I stood next to my dad and let my heart fill. I knew I was one step closer to what my dad was talking about. One day closer to all the beauty and love he felt when he walked into his house and saw his wife and his kids full of joy.
One day I’d have that.
20
“I’m gonna strangle my sister,” Jason mumbled, walking into my, or should I say our, office.
“Which one?”
It was a toss up which one had annoyed him this morning. Over the last three days since dinner at his parents’ he’d called each of them. He’d talked to them one by one, opening up about the last two years and why he’d distanced himself from the family. It took a lot out of him. He’d been emotionally wrecked after each phone call. The last three nights had been intense.
Each night, by the time we’d had dinner, cleaned up, and made it up to bed, he’d been ready to bury himself in me and forget everything. I’d been more than happy to help him forget. Never once had he made me feel used. All his focus and energy had been on me, on what made me feel good. He’d been bossy and rough. It’d been crazy good. Each night he’d let himself go and gave me the gift of him.
“Delaney.”
“Oh, boy. What happened?”
“You remember after dinner on Sunday she said she was looking into that science club more because something felt off?” I nodded. We’d both had told her to leave it alone, we had someone on it, but the woman was Walker-stubborn and said she’d wanted to get the club records to see who was actually going to the after-school meetings. “She said the sign-in sheets were a bust because they’re in Mr. Lowe’s class and she has no reason to be in there. But she did remember that a teacher, Kimberly Akins, had a thing for the science teacher in the beginning of the year. They went on a date, but, after that, nothing. She also said that Kim has changed. She can’t explain how, just that she was quiet and reserved now. Comes in, teaches, and leaves. No more crush on Mr. Lowe, no socializing with the other teachers.”
“Shit. That’s not good.”
“No, it’s not. Delaney tried to talk to Kim after a teachers’ meeting yesterday after school, but Kim shut her down.”
“We need to pass this off to Bruce. See if he can go in and talk to Kimberly Akins.”
“She asked if we could do it.”
The DEA didn’t conduct interviews, not like this. We were merely partnering with the local PD on this more as a sign of goodwill. We should’ve stepped out of the case when the legal pharmas stopped being used. But Bruce had asked us to stay on and our boss agreed it was good to show the community a group effort, especially because we were dealing with teenagers. They wanted the show of force. However, this was in the local PD’s wheelhouse.
“If Bruce doesn’t mind, we can head down after school lets out.”
“That’d be perfect. I caught a new case,” he told me. “Looks like it’s coming out of Ohio making its way down south. We’re gonna try and intercept it as the shipment goes through Georgia.”
Oh. I hadn’t given him going back to his task force much thought. I’d gotten used to working with him and sharing an office. Soon he’d have to go back downstairs. That sucked.
“Hey.” He stepped around my desk and turned my chair to face him. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Of course. I guess you’ll be working out of your office again.”
“Soon. But I won’t like it.” He leaned down placing both his hands on the arm rests of my chair and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. “I’ve always liked my job, but this last month I’ve loved it.”
“Me, too.” Was the only response I could mutter. Him being so close, and smelling his cologne was scrambling my brain.
“The good news is, I get you every night.”
“That is good news.”
My office phone rang, breaking the spell. “Duty calls, beautiful.”
With another simple kiss on my forehead he stood up. Damn work. I wished we were back at my place, wrapped up in each other, in our own world where phones and jobs didn’t intrude. But we weren’t, and I had to work. Regretfully, I had to answer.
* * *
The day passed by in a flash. Both Jason and I had skipped lunch now that new cases had come down. I’d had to call Bruce and tell him we had roughly a week to
wrap this up or he’d only have a skeleton crew from the DEA. Jason was being pulled in a few days, and I only had until next week. The FBI was investigating a nursing home and insurance fraud, they’d passed the case to the DCD because they thought they’d stumbled onto a large number of prescriptions being written and some of those were written to deceased patients. We’d take on the case next week.
It had been a little weird and a whole lot sad not having Jason in my office all afternoon, but we’d both had briefings. He’d only come up when it was time to go to Parkside to try and catch Kimberly before she left for the day.
“Can I ask you something?” I turned in the passenger seat to face Jason.
“Sure.”
I took a moment to appreciate how good looking he was. There was something about a man driving that was sexy. With his dress shirt sleeves rolled up, I could see the muscles in his forearms bunching while he gripped the steering wheel. I wondered if that’s what they looked like when he hooked my leg in the crook of his arm and held me in place while he was on top of me. Suddenly I wondered if I’d be able to see them if I had a mirrored ceiling. Or would I be too busy watching his backside as his ass flexed as he pushed into me? Oh, God, that would be so hot. His back and shoulders were well defined, I bet those would be—
“Mercy?” He chuckled. “You got something you want to share?”
“No.”
“By the pretty blush on your cheeks, I think you do.”
“No. No. Nothing to share.”
“All right then. What did you want to ask?”
Oh, yeah, I had a question.
“Why are we always in my space?”
“What?” His forehead furrowed and his hands flexed on the wheel.
“You moved up to my office when you could’ve asked me to come down to yours. There’s more room in yours. We always end up at my house. And you’ve never invited me to yours.”
“Is that a problem for you?”
My first thought was no, it wasn’t, but the more I thought about it, it became more complicated than a simple no.
Finding Mercy: The Next Generation Page 10
