by Emma Slate
I took the handle. Though the blade was light, it felt heavy with purpose. I looked back at Hunter. “I will tell stories of your bravery, of your noble sacrifice.”
Hunter closed his eyes, his silver lashes fanning his skin. “Let the bards sing of the merrow that loved The Spider Queen until his last breath.”
I wanted to cry, but I knew if I broke down now, I’d never do what had to be done. I wouldn’t kill Hunter, and in not doing so, the world would end.
“We are all vessels of duty,” the mage whispered inside my mind.
“Slit my tail,” Hunter whispered. “Let me remember what it was like to have two legs. Let me remember my humanity.”
Gripping the blade, I steeled myself. I leaned over Hunter’s thick, powerful, beautiful tail. I gently lifted it in my hand, and with the magic blade, cut Hunter in two.
I held him in my arms as silver blood coated my skin and floor. I held him in my arms until he took his last breath, and the light fled from his eyes.
Only then did I allow myself to weep.
Only then did I allow myself to cry like the human I’d once been.
Chapter 41
I tasted loam and forest at the back of my throat.
The last I recalled, I’d been deep underneath the ocean, holding Hunter as he died.
Because I had killed him.
A well of grief opened up inside me, and my entire body shook with sobs. It didn’t matter that he’d asked for me to kill him or that he was willing to sacrifice himself.
I’d carry his death with me for as long as I lived. Forever, if I was able to stop the war.
Somehow, I pulled it together and wiped the tears from my face. There was enough light from the moons to illuminate my hands.
They were stained silver.
My tongue was heavy with regret, and my stomach rebelled. I turned my head and vomited, though there was nothing in my stomach. As I wiped my mouth, I shuddered.
In the distance, I heard the clanking of metal and the calls of distress. The sounds of baying beasts and creatures I didn’t know howled in the forest. I shivered and ran my hands up and down my arms.
I had to find Thane.
I still couldn’t feel him at the other end of our mental connection. I swallowed more tears, tears that constantly attempted to escape. I wondered if I’d ever stop crying.
Pressing my hand to my heart, I got up off the ground and started for the forest. I had no idea where Thane was or how I was supposed to find him if our link was silent.
The trees in the forest weren’t magical trees like the ones in Purgatory. They looked like trees in an alpine forest. Did that mean I was on Earth?
No, I couldn’t be. There were still three moons in the sky.
Bone-weary exhaustion settled in. I felt like I was mourning every loss, every heartache, every moment of suffering that had ever come into existence. My feelings weren’t my feelings. The losses weren’t my losses but those of other beings.
Empathy for every living creature surged through me and literally brought me to my knees. I fell to the ground and curled up into a ball.
“When you kill a merrow, you absorb their unique talent.”
The mage’s voice didn’t startle me, nor did I wonder how he came to be there.
“Hunter had extreme empathy and a deep capacity to love.”
I closed my eyes, tears seeping from the corners to roll down my nose. “Don’t talk to me about him. I knew him. You didn’t.”
“Lady—”
“Why are you here?” I snapped.
“You need a barrier,” he said. “From all the emotions you’re feeling. You need to learn to control them on your own, but there isn’t time to teach you that now.”
I lifted my head and glared at him. He was no longer naked but in a robe. “Why do you care?”
“Because you’re the key.” His stare was unrelenting. “You’ve always been the key. If you fall, the world falls.”
Anger like a raging river in springtime surged through me. Pine needles and leaves blew in circles around my feet. I lifted my head to the sky and bellowed. I screamed like a dying animal. Every emotion I felt was in that bay.
When my fury had run its course, I collapsed to the ground again.
“Cursing your choices doesn’t change them,” the mage pointed out mildly.
I glowered at him. “You’ve been enslaved for generations—just like Thane—and yet you seem remarkably even keeled. How is that possible?”
“Thane was conscious the entire time. I wasn’t.”
“You’ve been in a magical coma?”
“Something like that.” He took a tentative step toward me. “You’ll be able to hear Thane again. If you let me erect a wall for you.”
“All right,” I said quietly.
“You’ll also feel your grief for Hunter. That I cannot spare you from.”
“Why will I feel it?”
“Your heart has been restored to its original form.”
“Human heart you mean?”
“Yes—but a full human heart that has been turned immortal.”
“So I’m myself again…but different.”
He nodded. “I have to touch you.”
“Do I have to stand?”
“No. It’s better if you stay where you are.” He placed his hand on my head, and I felt an instant chill. It seeped into my scalp, down into my veins, and rushed through my blood. I began to shiver, and I pulled my arms and legs up to curl into a ball.
“Close your eyes,” he said.
I did as he suggested and pressed my cheek to my shoulder. It brushed against something soft and warm—a fur pelt, I realized.
My spiders pulsed.
They’d wrapped me in warmth the only way they knew how. I was grateful for them. Even when I was alone, I was never really alone. Not anymore.
I felt the mage’s hands inside my mind. He was foreign and unwelcome; I was cold from his magical touch. He corralled my emotions, separating out what was mine versus those that belonged to others. He scooped them up and placed them in a glass cube and set it down in the corner of my mind. He turned the lock, and the cube shuddered. It flickered with his magic trail.
The relief was instant. My emotions were mine again.
“Better?” The mage’s hand dropped from my head, but he didn’t take a step back.
“Yes. Thank you.” I paused. “Why do I still feel you inside my mind?”
“Because it’s my magic. I can teach you to compartmentalize the emotions—among other things. Then you’ll have no need of my magic.”
Poppy!
“Go,” the mage said urgently. “Go now.”
Chapter 42
I darted for the trees, focused on one thing and one thing only.
Find Thane.
Protect Thane.
Fight by his side.
The forest was thick, and I couldn’t follow a straight path. Branches sliced at my cheeks and arms, air pumped through my lungs, but no matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t seem to find my way.
Poppy! he called again.
Where are you? I can’t find you!
Change, Poppy.
I instantly ground to a halt. I listened to the stirrings of the night. Critters scurried to their burrows, birds snuggled down into their nests. Only the nocturnal few were out. Blinking eyes peered at me from safety.
Reaching down into that other part of myself, I unlatched the lock that held my spider self back. It rushed forward, took over, and we became one.
Suddenly, I could hear and see things I couldn’t with human attributes, and I was graceful and elegant in a way I could never be on two legs.
I made it to the other side of the forest. The clanging I’d heard in the distance was the sound of swords. I watched in utter bemusement from the woodland’s edge at the battle in the valley below.
Winged angels fought against horned demons. Four-legged beasts fought other four-legged beasts. Creatures in the s
ky—dragons clashing against the backdrop of the three moons.
I could see Gabriel, the fallen angel who’d met us in the woods, fighting a red ox-like beast that stood on its hind legs. Gabriel thrust his sword into the animal’s side, causing it to roar and then collapse. The fallen angel turned, his face dripping blood, his wings flaring behind him as he ran into the fray.
The night was lit with fire and stars. I looked around with spider eyes, trying to find Thane. Suddenly, the clouds shifted, letting starlight shine.
Thane’s back was to me. He parried, his sword gleaming in the moonlight. He whirled and his opponent came into view.
I knew who it was. It was Xan, Thane’s fraternal twin. He held a short knife in one hand and a long blade in another.
Brother against brother, fighting in human form.
Xan was bigger than Thane. Taller, broader, his body more muscular. Xan was blond where Thane was dark. Xan had used magic to conceal his true identity, fooling other gods and immortals into believing he was Guardian of the Bridge. But apparently he wasn’t able to disguise himself now that Thane and the mage were free.
Opening his mouth, Xan let out a war cry. The air and land trembled with the barbaric call. Fighting beasts ceased for a moment, and even the creatures in the sky flapped their wings and waited.
Waited for the swarm of golden wasps that flew through the air, one giant mass and a whizzing cacophony.
Those that wielded weapons picked them up again and resumed their bloody fight.
Wasps descended on Thane, battering him to the ground. Even as he fell, I heard him call his spiders to him. They flew from his mouth and immediately spun a web of protection around him.
But the gold wasps were angry and determined—and they shredded the magic silk with their jaws and stingers. Spiders and wasps battled, giving Thane time to get back on his feet.
Xan smirked as he stalked toward Thane.
They lunged for one another, each of them grazing skin and drawing blood.
Xan was toying with Thane—and through our connection, I knew Thane realized what his brother was doing. Xan went on the offensive with his weapons—magical and otherwise—and Thane spent his reserves defending and deflecting.
The time for watching was over. Thane needed my help if he had any chance of defeating his brother.
I reached down and asked my spiders for protection. Black metal slid over my body and legs.
Armor.
I charged across the battlefield, mowing down anyone or anything that got in my way. Demons and beasts bounced off me. I was the size of a small car, and I was unstoppable.
Thane’s spiders were dying. They were no match for Xan’s golden wasps. Thane cried out in pain as poisonous stingers lodged in his skin. He collapsed, panting and writhing in agony, until he ceased moving, momentarily paralyzed by wasp poison.
Xan moved in to take his victory shot, his sword poised over his head. His mouth moved, but I couldn’t make out the words. Just as he was about to bring his sword down and embed it in his brother’s chest, I launched myself at him.
I sailed through the air and knocked Xan to the ground. I heard the air whoosh from his lungs. His short blade flew out of his hand, but his other hand—his right hand—still gripped the sword.
His eyes glowed red with rage. He chanted in a language I didn’t understand. More wasps came to his aid, and they dive bombed my metal-protected spider body.
I screamed in fury and discomfort when a few of them managed to penetrate my armor. Bucking and rearing back, I tried to dislodge them from me. I felt their poison seeping into my blood, traveling to my heart.
In a few moments, I’d be frozen and defenseless.
With my last surge of energy, I attacked Xan, throwing my entire weight against him. But Xan was not without his weapon, and he brutally hacked off one of my legs with his magical sword. I stumbled as I gushed black blood.
A maniacal glint entered Xan’s blue eyes as he tracked me. I tried to scurry away from him, but I was wounded.
Xan became a blur, and before I knew it, he’d severed three more of my legs. I fell as the poison finally stunned me into submission.
My vision dimmed as I watched Xan plunge his sword into my thorax.
Chapter 43
The air shimmered with scintillating light. My eyes dreamily drank in the scene. Trees, ancient and cognizant, swayed gently in the wind. Summer was on the air.
A herd of wild horses raced up the hill. They were colored taupes and browns with graceful necks and long black manes. The magnificent creatures were headed my direction, but I instinctively knew they wouldn’t trample me.
Sure enough, they darted around my body, their hoof beats making the land tremble. They slowed their pace and eventually came to a stop. They neighed to one another before grazing on the vibrant green grass of the meadow.
“Beautiful, aren’t they?”
Her voice was fluid, melodious. Like liquid silver. Her blond hair was tied back into an intricate knot, a delicate silver-leaved crown on her head. She wore fawn breeches and a loose white shirt. Brown riding boots encased her slim calves.
“They are,” I agreed, turning my attention back to them.
The Queen Beyond the Veil moved to stand by my side as we watched the stallions in silence.
“Why am I here?” I asked.
“Why do you think you’re here?”
I paused. “I’m dying, I think.”
She made a noise. “That remains to be seen.”
“Thane’s brother stabbed me in the thorax after his wasps stung me.” I looked down at my belly, expecting to see it split open with my innards hanging out. But I was fully intact and so were my clothes.
“Let’s walk,” she suggested.
I kept by her side as we traversed the grassy plain. The sun was bright, and yet it wasn’t hot. I’d been in Purgatory and it had been night. Here, Beyond the Veil, it was day. Time moved differently in magical realms.
There were hundreds of questions I wanted to ask her.
“Did we win the battle?”
She shot me an amused look. “The battle between Heaven and Hell is eternal. It will never be fully won.”
“Right,” I muttered with an eye roll.
“There will be times of peace, and then Lucifer will grow restless and reach for things that don’t belong to him again.”
“Why do you sound like you know what’s coming?”
The Queen shrugged. “History has a way of repeating itself, does it not?”
“What is it that you do?”
“Do?”
“Yeah. Like Thane is Guardian of the Bridge. That’s his job—or whatever. What’s yours?”
She smiled. “What does any queen do? Rule.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Why am I here?” I asked again.
“Maybe you’re not really here at all. Did you ever think of that?”
I shrugged.
“You came here for the peace you can’t find in life.” Her eyes were bright and shrewd. “You lost someone.”
Guilt crashed into me. I pictured Hunter’s face, his eyes closed, his silver blood staining my hands.
“Some choices are impossible to make,” she said softly. “And we make them anyway.”
“Was his death in vain?” My voice trembled—and broke. Remorse was splintering me from the inside out. “Was his sacrifice necessary?”
“Depends what you do in the after, Poppy. What do you plan to do?”
“I protected Thane. I battled his brother.” My hand stroked across my abdomen. “Hunter died for me. Now I’m dying for Thane.”
“You don’t sound at all bitter about it,” she pointed out. “Resigned, it seems.”
“Sacrifice for those we love isn’t really a sacrifice, is it?”
She smiled. “You would’ve made an excellent Guardian.”
“Guardians can only be men.”
Queen Aisling arched an eyebrow. “You know this
for a fact?”
“It’s what Thane told me.”
The Queen fell silent as one of the stallions—the biggest one of all—pranced toward us. It tossed its head, sending its silky black mane flying in the breeze.
“Things aren’t always as they appear to be.”
The sun moved behind a cloud. The meadow was suddenly covered in snow, and the stallion emitted a soft glow. A twisted horn sprouted from the center of its head.
“May I?” I breathed.
She nodded.
I gently reached out to stroke the unicorn’s neck, marveling at the feel of its hair. Its dark eyes met mine. A world I’d never seen before was reflected in its gaze.
My hand dropped. Queen Aisling patted the unicorn’s muzzle and peered at me with serene eyes the color of copper. “It’s time for you to return now.”
“To die?”
“That’s your choice.”
“I can choose not to die?”
Her smile was both ancient and innocent. She was both crone and maiden.
My eyes narrowed. Who was this Queen Beyond the Veil? And what secrets did she possess?
“None that belong to you,” she said gently. She lifted her hand and blew a puff of air in my direction.
I felt the wind under my arms and I was suddenly being carried away. I peered at them from above. The queen mounted the unicorn, and they rode across the snowy land until they became a speck in the distance and then disappeared all together.
Chapter 44
My eyes cracked open. They were heavy, caked with dirt. And blood.
For a moment, I couldn’t hear or feel—but I knew I was back in my human body. It must’ve taken too much energy to retain my spider form.
Everything was numb. Probably for the best. I didn’t want to feel myself dying.
I watched as Thane battled his brother on the bank of the river where I had fallen in battle, stabbed through the thorax with Xan’s sword. Apparently he’d retrieved it from my stomach because Xan now used it to combat Thane.
How had Thane rallied? He had been stung by the wasps same as me.
