by Jane Slate
His slightly chapped lips parted as he snored. His dark hair curled near his temples. The sunlight illuminated the faint blue veins beneath his olive skin.
Stella had a good feeling about him.
And maybe that was her first mistake, because it wasn’t a secret to anyone in Falls Creek that Kade Colton was incapable of being tied down.
Still, Stella saw the value in him. It didn’t seem to matter much that up until that moment, value to Stella had been an undefined concept—something prescribed to her by Seventeen magazine advice columns and grandiose fantasies of being swept off her feet by a knight in shining armor.
But real life never seemed to turn out that way now did it?
Stella pulled on her clothing, careful not to wake Kade. Then, she walked the short distance to Mel’s house, feeling giddy and lightheaded.
Mel threw open the front door before Stella could even raise her fist to knock. Right off the bat, there was something about her that struck Stella as different. She stepped over the threshold and into Mel’s tiny trailer, scanning the room for any sign of Maddox.
“He left an hour ago,” Mel said, reading Stella’s mind.
Stella looked over at her friend with wide eyes, flashing her a smile.
“Mel!” she gasped, giving her a playful nudge.
“You naughty, naughty girl!”
Mel blushed and took a seat at her kitchen table, reaching to pour herself a glass of OJ. She waved her hands in the air, feigning innocence.
“Nothing really happened...we mostly just talked...”
“And made out...” she added with a passionate sigh.
Stella giggled and took a seat at the table beside her friend. She stole a pancake off her plate, stabbing it with a fork and taking a bite.
“So,” she spoke through mouthfuls.
“Give me a play by play.”
Mel thought it over.
“Well, it’s really not that exciting...”
Stella shook her head.
“So? I still wanna know!”
“OK,” Mel said.
“Well, we had a few more drinks at the bonfire. Then we came back here and we talked...about everything, really. And we kissed...”
Mel smiled in reflection.
“Yeah...come to think of it, we did a lot of that.”
She let out a dreamy sigh.
“He’s so hot Stel. I never thought a guy that hot could be so interested me!”
Stella laughed. She knew the feeling.
“Anyway,” Mel changed the subject, taking a drink of her orange juice.
“Enough about me. Tell me about your night! What happened with Kade?”
Stella sighed. Where did she even begin?
“Well...for starters...I slept over at his place.”
Mel grinned from ear to ear and sat up straighter.
“And...?”
Stella blushed. Mel gasped.
“Oh my god! You totally slept with him didn’t you!”
Stella started to deny it but there was no use.
“Maybe...”
Mel exploded into a fit of laughs.
“Stel! You can’t just sleep with a guy on the first date!”
Stella pouted.
“Even the really hot ones?”
Mel nodded.
“Yes! Even the hot ones!”
Mel always had been the more responsible one. Stella snickered and stood up, collapsing on her couch.
“Wait a second,” she spoke up, turning to look at Mel suspiciously.
“You said Maddox just left right?”
“Where did he sleep? Because your couch feels pretty cold...”
Mel was quiet as she tried to formulate an answer. Stella could read the guilt in her expression without even trying.
“Oh my god!” Stella yelled, bursting into laughs.
“You slept with him! Don’t lie Mel! I can tell.”
Mel tried to appear distracted with gathering dishes off the table but it was obvious that Stella had caught her red-handed.
“I knew it!”
“You slept with him, and then you made him breakfast. How domestic of you!”
Stella’s tone was playful and lighthearted, but even so, Mel appeared visibly embarrassed by her candidness. Sleeping with a guy on the first date was no her usual MO.
No. In fact, she and Stella had both been holding tight to their virginity, although for different reasons. Mel had been waiting for Mr. Right and Stella simply hadn’t found any guy worthy enough of doing the deed with. Not that she hadn’t done her fair share of...other stuff.
“Mel,” Stella spoke up.
“Have you looked in the mirror yet?”
Mel sighed, catching a glimpse of her reflection in the glass window above her sink. Her make-up was smudged and her hair was frizzy and sticking up in every direction.
It was obvious just by looking at her that she had partook in a very passionate series of events the previous night.
“Holy crap,” Mel whispered.
“I look...”
She turned Stella with her mouth agape.
“I look like you!”
Stella scoffed and watched as Mel ran into her bathroom. She turned on the sink, pulling her hair into a ponytail and splashing water from the tap onto her face.
“So do you like...have feelings for him?” Stella called out.
“Like, can you see yourself dating him?”
She couldn’t imagine why tight-laced Mel would sleep with a guy, any guy, unless she saw herself having a future with him.
Especially on the first date.
Mel shrugged and stepped out of the bathroom, collapsing onto the couch beside Stella, who shifted her legs to make room for her.
“I can tell that you like him,” she said, poking Mel in the side.
“I don’t know,” Mel sighed.
“Maybe. He’s a really nice guy.”
Stella snickered and made googly-eyes at her friend.
“And hot. Don’t forget hot.”
Suddenly, a rustling noise sounded from behind Mel’s front door. Mel lifted a hand to shush Stella. The door handle jiggled and Maddox stepped inside the apartment, momentarily taken aback by the girls’ presence.
“Hey,” he said with a whistle, nodding at Mel.
“I thought you had to work. I uh, forgot my wallet. Was just coming back to grab it.”
A blush spread across Mel’s cheeks. She stood up and entered her bedroom in search of the wallet. Maddox lingered in the doorway, darting his eyes from Stella to Mel.
“So how was your night?” he questioned.
Stella turned to face him, unsure as to who he was talking to. He was staring right at her with an amused look in his expression.
“Fine,” Stella answered, standing up to grab her purse off of Mel’s kitchen table. Then, she made her way towards the front door, waving goodbye to Maddox.
“I’ll see you later Mel,” she called over her shoulder.
“I have class soon.”
“Alright,” Mel called from her bedroom.
Stella smiled, listening to her friend squeal as Maddox pulled her in for a kiss. She shut the front door and stepped out onto the front porch, closing her eyes and sucking in a deep breath. There was an energy in the air; one that highlighted just how much things had changed.
Chapter Three
One week in, Stella told Kade that it wouldn’t last between them and he agreed. Regardless, they decided to enjoy it while it did. They fooled around from time to time but never took things further. Kade wasn’t good with relationships and Stella was naive and idealistic.
Their feelings for each other were as clear as day but both of them were too afraid to make the jump. Every time Kade would close his eyes the first thing he would see was her face. Her smile. The glimmer in her eyes. The way she wore her hair pulled up away from her face when it was too hot out. Her thrift store wardrobe and her fascination with anything old.
Anything with a story.
All these things made Stella who she was. The way she interacted with strangers. The way she bit down on her bottom lip when she was anxious or sad or distracted. Her abstract thoughts and the way she expressed them. Her eclectic tastes and her bluntness.
Kade loved it all. And that scared the shit out of him. He told himself that he was falling too hard too fast. That he was in love with an illusion. That he wasn’t going to fall for a girl made of glass.
There were times when they first started dating, if it could even really be called dating, that Stella would reflect on the falseness of their bond. She wanted Kade to be something more than what he was. They were different. Too different. But all it took was the lubricant of a good drink to make them both forget the artificialness of it all.
But Stella smart, too smart for her own good. Smart enough to know she was being taken advantage of.
Sometimes late at night, she would lie in Kade’s lap while he texted one of his many women on the side, telling them not to come by that night. That he was occupied. He never told them with what. Or rather...who.
And sometimes when he would kiss Stella, she would taste another woman’s lipstick on his mouth. And when he would remove his shirt to climb into bed with her, she would notice the scratch marks on his flesh and she would picture slender hands roaming his back the way her own had done so many times.
Kade was manipulative. Dishonest. Borderline cruel. But it was the idea that she could one day change him that kept her coming back.
Mel didn’t bite her tongue when it came to informing Stella of what a huge mistake she thought she was making. She vocalized everything Stella was feeling inside but was too afraid to admit out loud. Kade was quick tempered. Bipolar even. And yes, he was bitter over the fact that he was unable to become a Marine alongside his brothers, a reality he never seemed to stop talking about regardless of how much it plagued him.
Still. The heart wanted what the heart wanted.
Stella would rationalize all these negatives with positives. She would tell herself, and Mel, and her father, and whoever else would ask, that Kade had made great strides to change. That he had dropped many of his toxic habits and behaviors—the same ones that had been so embedded in his life prior to her.
But no one ever seemed entirely convinced.
It didn’t matter though. On the first Tuesday of that summer, a month into Kade and Stella’s makeshift relationship and a week before a plane would bring four wounded Marines and one deceased one home to Falls Creek, Kade told Stella he was taking her on an adventure. He didn’t tell her where, but his instructions on what she should wear left very little to the imagination.
At 8 A.M sharp that morning, Stella, clad in a plain black bikini and a pair of ratty shorts, sat on the wooden steps of her front porch and braided her hair into plaits as she listened for the sound of Kade’s Bonneville. Her heart swelled when she saw him approaching between the trees. She chewed on her bottom lip and exhaled a deep breath, pulling herself clumsily to her feet.
Gravel and dirt flew around Kade as he pulled to a stop in front of Stella. She climbed onto the leather seat behind him and pulled up her legs, wrapping her slender arms around his muscular center.
It wasn’t a particularly well-planned adventure, but Stella couldn’t blame him for it. In fact, she was grateful. Had it been planned ahead of time, it wouldn’t have been as exciting.
The heavy rains that had come with the spring had caused the creek to turn into a messy, unswimmable torrent. Children splashed in the mud along the edges at the displeasure of their parents, daring each other to venture in further. Stella and Kade sat on the dock and dragged their bare feet over the surface of the murky water.
A woman with dark skin and long curly hair called out to them from a few feet away.
“Not to be creepy but you two are the cutest couple we’ve ever seen!”
She nudged her husband, a hunched over bald man with a kind face. He looked away from his children who were playing near the water and nodded, smiling in agreement. Stella blushed and thanked them, leaning in closer to elbow Kade.
“We are pretty cute together.”
Kade laughed.
Words seemed trivial. Pointless even.
The sun warmed their faces as a calm settled over them. Stella reached up to push her sunglasses further up her nose but they fell into the water. Out of instinct, she pulled herself to her knees and reached out to grab them, but a heavy wind knocked her forward and sent her catapulting into the water. A loud shriek escaped her throat. Kade tried not to laugh as he helped her back onto the dock.
“It’s not funny!”
Stella pouted, squeezing muddy water from her hair. Her mascara began to run and she kicked herself for even wearing it at all.
So much for being waterproof.
“Here.”
Kade reached out and pulled Stella’s muddy form against his own, wiping at the smears on her pink cheeks. She was completely embarrassed but she smiled at the gesture and began to relax against him.
Tired of being bitten up by mosquitoes, Stella allowed Kade to pull her away from the water and down a winding trail through a patch of trees. He swatted at insects and spider webs, making sure to avoid poisonous plants, which Stella knew by name. Kade lit a smoke.
“How do you know all of this?” he questioned.
Stella shrugged.
“I was a girl scout.”
Kade snickered. Finally, they stumbled upon the place he was looking for—a dilapidated cabin in the center of the forest. He stepped towards it and took a set on the bottom step, stretching his legs and waving a hand behind himself.
“It ain’t much, but its home.”
“Was anyway.”
Stella sat down beside him.
“You used to live here?”
Kade nodded. He explained that the cabin wasn’t really a cabin, but a small house built by his father as a wedding gift to his mother. He called it “the place beneath the pines.” Somewhere she could go when she wanted to escape.
It was where she had died.
Slowly, it began to make sense to Stella why Kade looked so at home reclining on the brush covered steps. For the next hour, they talked about the things they loved, the things they wanted, and the things they didn’t. Stella learned that Kade’s anger was justified. That he felt robbed of a dream when his brothers were allowed to enlist as Marines and he wasn’t. But sometimes, Kade noted, that was just the way it went.
On a lighter note, Stella began to open up about her love of music. It wasn’t something she spoke about very often. It made her feel vulnerable and on full display, but there was something about Kade that she could trust.
He gave her a slight nudge.
“What’s your favorite song?”
Stella looked at him sideways. That was definitely a question with a thousand answers.
“What do you mean?”
“Like of all time?”
Kade nodded and Stella thought it over for a moment before shrugging.
“I don’t know.”
“That’s a hard one.”
Kade shook his head.
“Come on,” he urged.
“Just one song. The first one to come to your head.”
Stella frowned.
“Alright, alright.”
“Probably Dreams by the Cranberries.”
Stella blushed as Kade began to sing the song aloud, nailing the lyrics and the melody.
Impressive.
“So you’re a big fan?” she questioned with a laugh.
“That’s definitely unexpected.”
Kade chuckled and ashed his smoke, shaking his head.
“Nah. My mom was though.”
“That song, she listened to it all the time near the end...drove me and my dad nuts.”
Kade paused and smiled in reflection. He looked at Stella out of the corner of his eye and swallowed hard.
“You know, you kin
d of remind me of her.”
Stella smiled to herself and remained quiet. Kade didn’t offer an explanation as to how Stella reminded him of his mother and she didn’t find it necessary to ask.
The sentiment was enough.
Chapter Four
Stella nursed a beer to soothe her thirst and surveyed her surroundings, eyeing the crowd for Kade. For the past two hours she had been working as a volunteer in the stifling summer heat at Blessing of the Bikes, a yearly biker gathering in Northern Michigan. Hundreds of bikes rolled slowly down the gravel road, engines hot and revving. Muscular, leather clad men straddled the seats, some of them with their old ladies.
This years festival was especially special. Four Marines had just returned home from Falls Creek from Afghanistan, all of them with club connections.
Today, the festival attendants would be honoring their service, as well as the service of one Marine who had arrived home alongside his brothers in a body bag.
Stella sat up straighter in the grass when she noticed Kade approaching on his Bonneville. He gave her his famous squint and winked at her, his sea blue eyes glimmering. She sighed when she noticed the blonde attached to his back, her long arms wrapped around his muscular center. She smirked at Stella and ran a manicured hand over Kade’s head and down his chest.
It fucking figured.
Kade was bold, there was no denying that, but Stella didn’t think he would be bold enough to arrive to the festival with another woman shortly after their date.
It had gone so well.
It just didn’t make any sense.
But then again, Kade wasn’t exactly easy to understand.
Stella sighed and turned her attention back to Mel. She had always been the smart, distinguished one. It was rare to see her without a book in hand and she could recite the most interesting facts right off the top of her head. She could also finish a Sudoku puzzle in record time. She nodded at Stella, noticing the look of betrayal etched across her friends face, and handed her a water bottle.
“Hydrate! That beer isn’t going to do you any favors.”
Stella smirked and thanked her. She uncapped the bottle and took a long drink, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
