Her face was so serious and she looked at him with trepidation. It took everything he had not to grab her and kiss her again, not to break out in laughter at her ice cream toppings and her ‘What if I suck?’ comments. He was fighting himself not to strip her naked and make love to her. He knew he had to handle this with a little restraint and some thought. He took his time before addressing her concerns.
“Honey, you won’t suck. You couldn’t suck at anything. With time comes experience. You need to let yourself be open to the experience, to the enjoyment.” He slid his fingers along her face and held her cheek in his palm, lightly kissing her. “Bree, this list, it was written a long time ago. You were what, seventeen? Were you really thinking about these things at that time? Did you even know what BDSM was at that age?” He was calm as his eyes focused on her. His concern was apparent, but so was his interest in her.
“Are we being truthful here?” Her voice was quiet, somewhat shy sounding. She wasn’t sure why, but she wanted to explain to him, wanted to be open with him. Maybe he’d understand better than Mark did when she tried to explain it to him a year ago and then again a few months ago, but he still wouldn’t listen to her.
“We already agreed on that. Yes, I want the truth. Always and in return, I’ll give you the same,” he turned to face her directly.
“Matt, I read a lot as a kid. As a teenager, I read all kinds of fantasy books and romance novels. Then one day, I read Anne Rice’s Beauty Trilogy. I couldn’t put it down. I didn’t want to put it down. I read it three times and I never got tired of it.”
“Were you turned on by it? Excited, sexually aroused?” he asked. He wanted to know how she responded to it. “How did it make you feel, really feel? Emotionally, physically?”
“Yes, it was a turn on for me. Sexually excited could be used to describe it, but it was more.” Bree took a deep breath and slowly exhaled before she continued in a sultry low voice. She closed her eyes as she continued, as if she was talking to herself. “I found it fascinating, stimulating to more than just my body. My mind was constantly fantasizing about it. I’d dream about it constantly. I loved it.” She took another deep sigh as she opened her eyes and continued, “I wanted to be Beauty, I wanted to be the Queen, and I wanted to be the slaves. There wasn’t much in the book that I didn’t find arousing.”
“Did you masturbate to the story?” He asked it so calmly. She didn’t think twice about answering him.
“Just about every other page,” she nervously laughed at her answer. Her voice was giving away the arousal she was trying to hide from him. “Seriously, of course I did. It was my first erotic novel and it was the first time I ever achieved an orgasm.” She swallowed hard, surprised by her own confession.
“And your experiences since then? Have you, as you say, experimented?” His voice was soothing.
“Do you mean in that genre? With BDSM?” she whispered nervously.
“Yes. Have you had any experience with BDSM?” Matt reached over to her and stroked her arm reassuringly.
“Not really. I tried to explain to Mark a few times how I felt, but he ignored what I said.” She hesitated before going on. “The last time I talked to him about it was a couple of months ago. I told him what I wanted to try, but he got angry. I think that’s when things started to get worse between us,” she shrugged. “So, I never brought it up again. The most we did was some playful spanking but that was a long time ago.”
“How familiar are you with other things? The nuance stuff, the culture, the limits, the activities, things like that?” He was being very cautious and thoughtful with her. He realized she’d been shut down by one man in regard to her needs and wants, he didn’t want to seem like he was put off by her inexperience. Which he wasn’t, in fact, Matt found it exciting and original. He was more than willing to share his knowledge and a lot of other things with her if she agreed.
Bree felt comfortable talking with Matt, like he was guiding her through the conversation versus quizzing her on things. Surprisingly, she was more at ease talking with him about it after being in each other’s company for such a short time, than she was with talking to Mark after two years together. Talking with Matt came effortlessly to her, like they were old friends, good friends.
“I’m well read. I’ve done some internet searches, some research. I’d say, I’m fairly knowledgeable; although completely inexperienced.” She looked up at him. There was no mocking or judgment in his expression. He looked more concerned about her and interested in what she had to say than anything else.
“Bree, I like you. I like you very much. I can help you not only with your list,” he smiled at her and took her hand in his, “but to understand those feelings you spoke about. I can help you to understand, to appreciate, to accept and enjoy the thoughts and feelings you have. There’s a lot we can do together if you want to. If you want to be with me and experience them with me all you have to do is say yes.”
“Be with you like your…submissive?” she asked, but hesitated before saying the last word.
“I’d rather not use labels or titles, at least not now.” He traced the palm of her hand with his finger tip. “They don’t always apply to people and I find them limiting sometimes. If you focus too much on a label or a preconceived idea of who you’re supposed to be or what the rules are for your title, you miss out on a lot of interesting experiences especially if you’re new and just learning.” He lifted her palm to his mouth and kissed it. “Let’s just say, at least for now, I’m your partner in exploration.”
“So you want to sleep with me?”
“Not so much ‘sleep’, but yes, I’d want to take you to bed.” He smirked at her look of surprise and yet he saw an underlying interest. “And to floor, and to table, and to shower, and to…”
“Ok, ok, I get it. You want to have sex with me.” She liked the fact that he was trying to put her at ease by being humorous and teasing with her.
“I want us to have sex together yes, but I want more than that. I want it to be exclusive between us, like I said earlier I’m a one woman man. I want to have a monogamous sexual relationship that is a BDSM partnership.” He looked at her face and could practically see the questions running through her head.
“I know you’re thinking we just met and this is too fast, but sometimes you just know when something will be good. So, I choose to go for it. I choose to go for you. I want to have fun with you, play with you, cross things off this list with you.” He waved the paper in front of her and she covered her face with her hands in mock shame. “In fact, I definitely want to cross off number six through ten.”
She peeked at him through her fingers. Bree was confused for a second, “Number six? Number six is a tattoo. How are you going to cross that off? Please tell me you don’t want to tattoo me.”
“No. I saw that you wrote ‘tonight’ by that one. I’m going to ask you not to do it. I’m asking you to delay that one for as long as possible,” he said in a calm, quiet tone. There was nothing forceful about it at all. He was simply asking her to put off the idea of a tattoo.
“Why?” She removed her hands from her face to look at him.
“I’m just asking. It’s totally up to you of course, but I’m just asking if you would delay that one. However, number seven, your one night stand, well tonight I’ll be your one night stand. Tomorrow, I’ll be your second night stand and so on.” She laughed at his playfulness.
“And the rest of my list?” she questioned.
“Well number eight says ‘Sandwich.’ If I’m guessing correctly, that would be a Bree sandwich?” He looked at her as her face turned pink. “By the color in your cheeks, I’ll take that as a yes. In which case, I’ll have to think about that as far as who would be your other slice of bread if that’s what you really want, but I can give you close to the same experience without a third person.”
“Really, how?” She looked at him questioningly, not understanding how that was possible.
“Oh Bree, trust me o
n this one. I can deliver.” He grabbed her and kissed her hard. Pulling her to him, he didn’t delay forcing her lips open immediately. He slid his tongue in deep and held her there while he took his time exploring. Her body’s warmth and the slightest of moans coursed through him as he kissed her. She welcomed his kiss, his tongue, and his touch as his hands started to slide over her. First they caressed her arms, then her sides, and finally arrived at her breasts.
Slowly he broke from the kiss. He looked into her eyes; his words came out in a deep guttural tone. “If you say yes to my offer, this can get a lot more up close and personal, not to mention fun.”
Bree hesitated for a few seconds, enough time for inner Bree to make an appearance. Alert, alert, this is one of those forks in the road. This is a time for making a choice. Remember, your choices are to take the fork that leads you to the same dead end or the one that opens up the opportunities for the balance you seek in life. ‘Choose between what your brain is saying and your heart tells you,’ that’s what she said in the reading. Which is it Bree, brain or heart? Reality and responsibility or fantasy and fun?
She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as she answered, “Yes.”
“Good, I’m glad.” Smiling he took her hand. “Let’s move this into the bedroom and I’ll start to show you things and do things with you that will let us cross off at least part of number nine by tomorrow. We’ll be able to work on nine for a long time and never repeat the same thing twice.” He laughed, “Unless of course we want a repeat.”
“And ten?” She stared into his eyes as she asked, not believing she actually said it out loud.
Matt’s face became serious. The light was still in his eyes, but the humor was muted. “You may not believe me right now, but you will. Ten’s doable Bree. It’s not immediate and it will take time and effort, but it’s doable. We can work up to that one together and slowly, but it definitely has possibilities.”
She nodded as he helped her from the couch and pulled her into his arms. He looked into her eyes and held her in the silence of the moment. Slowly, he leaned down and kissed her temple. He slid his mouth down her cheek to her ear and sucked on her ear lobe. Kissing her ear, he nuzzled his lips to her as he spoke softly, “Remind me tomorrow to cross off number two. You’ve done your first jump.” He placed his hand on her lower back and guided her toward the bedroom door. “Let’s see how you enjoy being jumped and landed tonight. I may even show you how to tie a few knots if you’re willing.” He teased in an attempt to lighten the mood and relax her as his mind pictured her naked and tied to that four poster bed that he saw earlier.
“Matt, I’m still nervous. I feel out of my depth here.” She felt his hand press firmly on her back and for some unknown reason, she felt reassured. She took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled. A calm seemed to come over her as she felt the heat from his hand seep into her.
“Bree, trust me, communicate with me, and everything will be fine. I will make this good for you, I promise. Do you trust me not to hurt you?” He looked down at her as he lifted her chin to look into her eyes.
She nodded.
“Bree verbal, I need you to acknowledge me verbally. I need to hear you and be sure you’re with me on this. All the way and at every step.”
“What says I trust you more than jumping out of a plane strapped to your body? Yes, I trust you not to hurt me,” she answered.
“That’s the first step. As long as you know and trust I won’t hurt you we’re ok for now,” he assured her. “Are you still with me on this? Still willing to continue?”
She started to nod and then remembered he wanted words. Her voice was hesitant and quiet. “I’m with you, but I’m still nervous. I told you I have no experience whatsoever.”
“We’re going to take care of that very soon.” He slid his hand from her back to her ass cheek and grasped her buttock. “We’ll work on releasing some of the tension you’re holding in at the same time. Listen to me and do what I ask. You will have fun as soon as you relax a little. I promise you we’ll take it slow and I won’t do anything you don’t want to. Agreed?”
She tucked her lips in and bit down a little on them as she nodded. His hand massaged the fleshy curve of her ass and pulled her into his thigh. She loved the feel of his hands on her. She loved the way he knew exactly what to do to turn her on and to make her mind and her body respond.
“Words Bree.” He exhaled loudly, equally aroused by the feel of her against his body.
“Sorry. Ok. I’ll try to relax. I’ll listen to you.” Bree looked up at Matt, her eyes communicating so much more than her words could. “I’m trusting you.” The last part came out more like a plea than a statement.
Matt got the message and gently gave her a reassuring, yet no nonsense kiss. Slowly he dropped his lips to hers and teased them open with a stroke of his tongue. He took his time as he entered her mouth and played with her teasingly. It was a warm slow dance that occurred between them as they kissed and it ignited the rest of her body’s response. He wound his fingers into the hair at the base of her skull and held her to him as he continued to explore. Her moan and her breath escaped into his mouth as her body molded to his.
Gently he separated his lips from hers, looked into her eyes and whispered as he continued to hold her face inches from his. He remained so close the warmth of his breath caressed her cheek and tickled as it blew past her ear. “Bree, in your readings and research, do you remember the terms hard and soft limits?” He hesitated as his hand moved down the back of her neck. “Do you recognize the term ‘safe word’?” He rubbed her arms gently. “If not darlin’, we have to talk about a few things now and in more detail tomorrow. For now, we’ll take things very slow and easy.” He licked his tongue along the edge of her ear.
“Oh Matt!” She exhaled slowly as the words exited her lips. “Yes. I know them.”
“Have you thought about them? Do you know yours?” His breath caressed her face like a tender kiss.
“I’ve thought about some things, but I never had any reason to really think about things in detail. I know I don’t like the idea of the really extreme things like blood, cutting, branding, that kind of stuff.”
“That’s good, I’m not into that either, so you don’t have to worry about that. What about some of the milder things like spanking?” He watched for her reactions as he asked.
She bit her lip as she nodded yes. Matt just looked at her with a raised brow and waited.
“Yeah, spankings are ok. I’ve fantasized about spankings.”
“Ok. Good. What about spanking with an instrument? Like a paddle, hairbrush, or a spatula?”
“A spatula?” Bree laughed, “I guess that’s ok. Weird, but ok.”
“Bree, be serious here.” He leaned down to kiss her and slid his hand into the tear across the back of her jeans. He massaged the cheek of her ass a few more times before squeezing a handful of flesh. He held her fleshy ass in his hand as he continued, “How do you think you’d feel about being restrained? Hands, legs, both?” Matt watched as she blushed and tightened her hands into fists. Her fingers turned white before she relaxed them again.
“I think I’d like that, but I don’t know for sure. I found it exciting when I read about it, if that helps.” She looked at Matt and licked her lips, she was nervous and he knew it. The signs were obvious.
“Ok. You’re doing fine baby, just take a few breaths and relax. It’s just the two of us and anything you want to say or do is safe with me. Do you understand Bree? There is nothing you can say or want to do that will shock me. You just need to be honest with me and we’ll figure it out. Ok?”
“Yes.” She closed her eyes for a second to gather her courage to ask him something. “Matt, the safe word thing, I get one right? And if I use it, you stop everything? At least that’s what I remember about the use of the safe word.” She took a deep breath and held it.
“Yes, you get a safe word. I don’t believe you’ll need to use it, especially not tonight,
but if you feel you need to or you want to, just say it. If you say it, everything stops immediately. Understand?”
“Yes, yes I do.”
“Do you have a safe word you want to use?” He watched her expression as she thought about it.
“Can we stick with the red, yellow, green safe words?” Her voice was quiet, but smooth and almost calm now.
“Yes, red is stop immediately, yellow is take a break or lighten up, and green means you’re all good.” He looked at her as she nodded. “Bree, when I check in with you, you better not shake your head, you better give me words. Understood?”
“Yes. I will.”
“Ok. So, here are the basic rules for tonight. Use any of your safe words whenever you need to. Follow my directions. Listen to my voice and what I’m saying. Trust me not to hurt you. If you have any questions, you just have to ask and I’ll explain. Got them?”
“Yeah. Safe words, directions, listen to you, trust you, and ask questions. Got them.”
“Ok, then are you ready to relax and play, have some fun and some good sex?” He tilted his head to see her face and winked as he leaned in, lightly kissed her and gave her some encouragement.
“Yes.” She giggled at the way he was raising and lowering his eye brows as he made fun of her. “Matt, just so you know, I’ve never done this.”
“I know, you already told me that.”
“No, I don’t mean the kinky stuff. I mean the slept with a guy on the first date stuff. Never.”
Matt stood next to the edge of the bed and slowly drew his eyes down her body from head to toe. “I didn’t think you had Bree, but thanks for telling me. I appreciate your honesty and I’m pleased you feel comfortable and want to do this with me.” He pulled her body against his and kissed her. His lips were soft at first, then they became more demanding until she opened her mouth to him. His tongue slid easily between them and explored. He pulled his tongue back out and lightly bit down on her lower lip. “Ok then, let’s make this fun. First, I want you to get me three scarves or belts or robe ties and bring them to me.”
Twist (A BDSM & Romantic Erotica Boxed Set) Page 54
