by Jenny Kane
With a heavy sigh, Abi opened her front door to be greeted by a delighted Sadie, just as her neighbour drew up in the car she’d acquired. Ignoring Abi, she marched up the path and into her house.
Noticing that Cassandra wasn’t her usual pristine self, and that she might even have been crying, Abi held back her natural inclination to check if she was alright. If the woman couldn’t even take the trouble to say hello, Abi wasn’t going to bother about making sure she was alright. Anyway, she was in too much shock at the sight of the debris from her previous neighbours’ lives lying, abandoned and unloved, in front of the adjoining terrace to care.
Calling to Sadie, Abi grabbed her handbag and headed to her car.
‘Come on, sweetheart. Time we talked to Stan.’
Chapter Eight
Beth wasn’t sure how she’d got through the school day. Her young charges had sensed her lack of control. A rare reign of chaos had taken over her classroom, until the noise level had broken through the fog of Beth’s brain, and she gathered her wits long enough to get them sorted into drawing groups.
Sat at her desk, watching the village’s three- and four-year-olds sketching pictures of what they hoped to do over the forthcoming summer holidays, Beth felt her heart constrict. Would a child of her own be drawing in here in a few years’ time?
At lunchtime she’d resisted the urge to call Abi or Max and tell them what she suspected. She badly wanted to talk to her best friends, but what if she wasn’t pregnant? She could be coming down with a bug or something and worrying over nothing. And if she was, then Jacob should know first– but what if he hated the idea?
He’d uprooted his life to be with her, but the deal for the local studio wasn’t signed and sealed yet. Would he panic and run back to Hayle to renew the rental agreement there when she told him the news?
Rather than make any phone calls to Jacob or her friends, Beth had walked unsteadily into Sennen during her lunch break. She’d got as far as the chemist to buy a pregnancy test, when she’d realised it was a bad idea. If she purchased it there, then the whole of Sennen would know that one of the village’s unmarried teachers suspected she was pregnant within half an hour.
Instead, the instant the end of the school day had arrived, Beth had driven to a reassuringly anonymous supermarket in Penzance, and made the most frighteningly exciting purchase of her life.
Now, with her eyes firmly closed, Beth sat on the edge of her bath. The plastic wand in her hands felt oddly heavy, as if it was weighted with her whole future.
Her phone’s stopwatch, which had counted down the longest three minutes in history, had gone off at least five minutes ago. Knowing she couldn’t put off the moment for ever, biting her bottom lip, she lifted the pregnancy test to eye level, Beth opened her eyes.
Unsure if she was happy or terrified, in a throaty whisper, Beth said, ‘Grandad, I hope you can hear me. You’re going to be a great-grandad. Oh, God, I miss you so much.’
The tears came then. Tears, because she knew she wanted this baby, because she was scared the man she loved wouldn’t want her any more, because she could lose the job she adored, because people might gossip, because she wasn’t even sure what being pregnant meant beyond the obvious, and because she was sat in the flat where she had nursed Grandad for many years before he’d died, and because she would have done anything to be able to hold his hand just one more time.
Go and see Stan, my darling girl.
Beth felt the words in her chest. Whether she’d actually heard them, or if her imagination was being fanciful, it didn’t matter. She was sure that if her grandad could talk to her, then he would tell her to go to see his friend. Stan would never tell her she was a bad person for having a child out of wedlock. He’d be the perfect person to help get her perspective back.
***
‘Abi!’
As Beth climbed out of her car in the Chalk Towers car park, she saw her friend and Sadie walking towards the entrance to Stan’s block of flats.
‘Beth, how wonderful! I was going to call you later and…’ Abi paused, studying her friend’s pale face with more care. ‘You alright?’
‘Sure, I just thought I’d come and see Stan. I haven’t visited him in ages. I don’t like the idea of him being on his own too much.’ Beth stroked Sadie’s fur. ‘Anyway, forget about me, you look fit to explode. I’m not used to seeing you cross. Are you OK?’
‘Not really, although I guess I might be being a bit petty.’
‘That’s not like you.’
‘I like to think not.’ Abi looked at Beth carefully, not convinced her friend was as alright as she was claiming to be. ‘That’s why I’ve come to Stan. He always says the right thing.’
Beth gave a half-smile back. ‘That’s why I’m here too, actually.’
‘Beth?’
‘I’ll tell you both at once.’
Abi watched Sadie affectionately as she snuggled herself against Beth’s legs, as if sensing an extra-special cuddle. ‘Although the chances of Stan being alone are slim. I suspect Dora will be there as well.’
‘I’m dying to meet her actually. Are they honestly going to get married? Boy, you and I have got to have a proper catch-up. It seems ages since it was only the two of us.’
‘Let’s do just that. Fancy fish and chips in paper after we’ve seen Stan?’
Beth felt a surge of love for her friend. ‘You have no idea how much I’d like that. Although I wish you hadn’t mentioned fish and chips, my stomach’s rumbling now!’
Letting Sadie lead the way, they walked towards Stan’s home. ‘Let’s have an hour here before Stan and Dora have their evening meal, and then we’ll drive down to the cove? Be like old times.’ Abi smiled, trying to hide her concern for her friend. ‘I can’t believe it’s nearly a year since we got to know each other on Marazion beach over fish and chips and coffee.’
Climbing the stairs to Stan behind Abi and Sadie, Beth’s smile began to return, and she sent up a silent thank you to her grandfather for telling her to come here. ‘So, Abi, quick, tell me before we get there, what’s this Dora like?’
Stan couldn’t have been more delighted by his unexpected visitors if he’d tried. As offers of tea and coffee were made and accepted, Abi took over the kettle duties, While Stan and Beth settled down at the dining room table. It was clear to the girls that they’d arrived in the midst of a wedding planning day.
Gathering some mugs together, Abi gestured to the pile of lists. ‘I thought Dora might be here making wedding plans. Everything going alright on that front?’
‘Yes, thanks.’ Stan chuckled. ‘Dora’s currently chatting up the prison warder. She considers young Dan very dishy.’
Abi laughed. ‘Does she indeed! You’ve got some competition then?’
Beth frowned. ‘Dan?’
‘He’s our new care manager. We call him the prison warder out of love and affection.’
‘Naturally.’ Beth turned to Abi. ‘Have you had the pleasure of meeting Dan, is he young and dishy?’
‘I have, and he certainly is. Assuming you consider early thirties young.’
‘Speaking as someone in her early thirties, I’m not sure about that!’
‘From where I’m sitting, thirty is very young.’ Stan picked up his tea and grinned. ‘Dora will be here in a minute or two. She’ll be so pleased to meet you, Beth. We were only saying last night that we’d love it if you’d both come over for dinner one evening, along with Max and Jacob.’
As Abi got up to make a further cup of tea, so it was ready for Dora’s arrival, Beth’s phone rang. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, it’s Jacob. He’s been checking out a new studio. Hell! I was supposed to go with him! I totally forgot. I’ll take this in the hall.’
As Beth disappeared out of the door, Stan turned to Abi. ‘I’m glad Beth’s popped out for a minute. I wanted to ask you something.’
Abi frowned as a dark shadow crossed over her friend’s face. ‘What’s wrong?’
Stan reached out and cl
asped her hand. ‘There’s something bothering me. Something I can’t share with Dora.’
‘Go on.’
‘Abi, girl, you don’t think I’m being a silly old fool for getting married at my age, do you?’
Squeezing Stan’s hand gently, Abi said, ‘I will admit it was a shock when you told me, but no, Stan, I don’t think that. Grasp every minute. You taught me that. So no, I don’t think you’re silly. Why do you ask?’
‘Sally.’
‘Ah.’ Abi was thoughtful for a moment. It wasn’t her place to comment on Stan’s daughter. ‘Sally hasn’t taken the news well then?’
‘Not as well as you did.’
‘Oh.’ Abi didn’t know what else to say. She’d always felt a bit awkward about how close she was to Stan, and knew he thought of her as a daughter. Abi had never been sure how Sally felt about that either.
‘There’s something else as well.’ Stan lifted his left hand and began to play with the wedding ring he’d worn for most of his life. ‘It’s Mary. Do you think she’d be cross with me for getting married again?’
Finding herself loving Stan even more than she already did for asking such a question, Abi looked him in the eye. ‘If Mary was even half the woman you have described to me, she’d be pleased for you. Loving Dora doesn’t mean you love Mary any less, nor does it mean that Dora has disregarded her love for Gordon.’
Stan nodded, not trusting himself to talk, and filled the moment of silence by cuddling Sadie.
Sensing her friend required a minute, Abi got up from the table. ‘I think I’ll make sure Beth’s OK, she’s been a while.’
Slipping quietly into the living area, Abi was alarmed to find that Beth was no longer outside in the hallway on the phone, but was sat on the sofa with Dora, who was giving her a cuddle.
Looking from Beth, who was smiling and crying at the same time, to Dora, Abi said, ‘Beth? Dora? What’s going on?’
Gently easing Beth up, giving her a firm, ‘It’ll be OK’, Dora spoke to Abi, ‘I found Beth outside. I think she could do with a friend right now.’
‘Beth?’
‘I’m sorry, Abi, I wanted to tell you straight away, but then I thought I should tell Jacob first, and then Grandad said I should come here and talk to Stan. He was right; being here with you, Sadie, and Stan made me feel so much better…’ Beth was talking faster and faster, and Abi could see she was shaking ‘…and then Jacob called and told me he’s signed the contract for a studio just up the road from here, and so that’s it. He won’t be able to escape from me now, and I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to stand seeing him every day once he’s left me. Seeing him with someone else when I love him so much will rip me apart; and I should have been with him at the studio in the first place but I forgot, and now I’ve cried all over Dora, and we haven’t even been introduced yet, and…’
Glancing at Dora, who shrugged, Abi interrupted her friend mid-flow. ‘Beth, honey, you aren’t making sense. Jacob is crazy about you. He moved in with you after only hours of you being together for goodness’ sake.’
Dora raised her eyebrows. ‘Really? Go Jacob!’
Smiling weakly, Beth said, ‘But he might not want me now.’
‘Why not?’ Dora frowned. ‘Men don’t just move in, my darling, not long-term anyway. I know these things. I’ve lived for ever and seen stuff that would make your hair curl!’
Abi gently pushed a mug of tea in Beth’s direction, before sitting next to a concerned Stan, and before Dora got into full flow about her past life asked, ‘What’s wrong? Please, Beth, I’m worried. We’re worried.’
‘But I shouldn’t tell you first, I should tell Jacob, but I’m scared.’
Now Abi knew exactly what was wrong, and the concerns she’d been planning to share about her neighbour disappeared into insignificance. In fact, there was nothing wrong with Beth at all.
A broad smile swept across Abi’s face. ‘Beth, are you telling us you’re going to have a baby?’
Chapter Nine
‘They won’t tell Jacob or Max, will they?’
Having insisted they stick to their plan of stopping for fish and chips by the sea on the way home, Abi glanced at Beth’s worried face. ‘Of course they won’t.’
Stretching her legs out across the sand, making the most of the last vestiges of heat from the day’s sunshine, Abi popped a chip into her mouth and stared into the horizon for a while before saying, ‘Can I ask you a personal question, Beth?’
‘You don’t normally ask permission; you always dive straight in.’
‘True, but this is more important than usual.’ Taking a swig from her takeout coffee, Abi said, ‘How do you feel about having a baby? Do you want it?’
‘What?’ Beth was offended, and then she was shocked by how Abi’s innocent question had made her feel. ‘Yes. I could never… I mean, I’m not a teenager caught out or anything. I want my baby.’
‘So what’s the problem?’
Beth fiddled with her chips. She’d been starving a minute ago, now she didn’t think she’d want to eat ever again. ‘I’m frightened. Frightened of what is going to happen to me, and scared of losing Jacob. And, until now, I haven’t stopped being scared long enough to think about how I feel.’
Abi put her arm around Beth’s shoulders, ‘Well, now it’s time you started to think more logically. I suspect Jacob will be absolutely thrilled, but if he isn’t, then the only question you have to consider is, are you comfortable with being a single mum?’
Beth whispered so softly that Abi had to strain to hear her. ‘I don’t want to do this on my own.’
‘But you won’t be on your own. Whatever happens, you won’t be alone.’
‘I won’t?’
‘Didn’t you see Stan and Dora’s faces? Over the moon doesn’t even begin to cover it. Stan is going to be a great-grandad-ish, and if the excitement of the wedding hasn’t tired him out this evening, then the news he is going to have a mini-person to bounce on his knee will surely have him snoring next to Dora by now.’
Beth giggled through her waves of panic. ‘Maybe that’s why Grandad sent me to Stan.’
‘I’m sorry?’
Scooping up some sand, Beth let it trail through her fingers. ‘You’ll think I’m daft.’
‘I often think you’re daft, so give it your best shot!’
‘I could have sworn I heard Grandad talking to me earlier. Just after I’d done the test. I felt so alone, and I said aloud how much I missed him, and well…I sort of felt his words, in here.’ Beth rubbed her chest. ‘It was so clear that he wanted me to visit Stan. I knew I’d feel better for going.’
‘And do you feel better? Now the shock is passing?’
Beth pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. ‘I think so. My brain feels like it’s going to explode with “what ifs?” though.’
‘I bet.’ Abi smiled at Beth. ‘Well, if you want to talk, any time, I’m here. Whatever happens. OK?’
‘Thanks, Abi.’
‘And I know you’re worried about Jacob, but honestly, Beth, just the way he looks at you is enough to show that he loves you to pieces. He isn’t going to do a bunk. He’s going to be a dad!’
‘Oh my God! And I’m going to be a mum.’
Abi’s smile became a beam. ‘Yes you are! And I’m going to be a sort-of auntie.’
Beth felt the first flickers of excitement edge past her fears. ‘There are so many practical factors to think about as well. I mean, our home is so small, we’ll have to move away from Grandad’s flat, and then there’s money. I might have to leave the school as I’m unmarried, and potters don’t exactly make a mint.’
Abi put a reassuring hand on her friend’s arm. ‘Beth, love, all those problems will have to be faced in time, but not yet. How did this happen anyway?’
‘Seriously?’ Beth burst out laughing, ‘You may look like the most innocent sweet in the shop, Abi Carter, but I know different.’
Her friend stuck her t
ongue out. ‘You know what I mean!’
‘I forgot a pill about ten weeks ago. And then I forgot that I’d forgotten it and didn’t make sure we were covered in other ways, if you see what I mean.’
‘Ah. Easily done.’ Abi nodded. ‘Doctor’s appointment for you tomorrow, young lady.’
***
Jacob raised a hand in acknowledgement as he saw Max stoop to fit through the door of The Old Success pub.
‘Got you a pint of Tribute, mate.’ Jacob gestured to the table between them, where two pints of St Austell Brewery’s finest sat awaiting their attention.
‘Thanks, Jacob.’ Max landed with a satisfied thump onto his seat. ‘Just what I need.’
‘Heavy day?’
‘Busy more than heavy. I have a new client who wants me to start work asap, and as it’s a big contract, I can’t afford not to take it.’
‘But that means working above and beyond to get the current job done ahead of schedule?’
‘You’ve got it.’ Max wiped the back of his hand over his mouth, savouring the taste of his beer. ‘It’s bad enough that I haven’t seen Abi much lately, what with the conversion in St Ives, but now I’ll have to work late this week to get it done ready for the next job. At least the next one is closer to Abi’s place though.’
Jacob cradled his own pint. ‘I was didn’t think you’d be up for a pint tonight, to be honest, I thought you’d be with Abi.’
‘She’s gone to see Stan. I think the shock of the forthcoming wedding has subsided, and she’s gone to see if they want help getting it all sorted.’
‘That sounds like Abi.’ Jacob stared into the middle distance. ‘She’ll see Beth there. I found a note on the table when I got home, saying that she was going to see if she could meet the mysterious Dora.’
‘In that case, they’ll probably be hours. Once those two get talking there’s no stopping them.’
‘True.’ Jacob was quiet for a minute. ‘I don’t suppose Beth has said anything to you, has she?’
‘About what?’
‘That’s just it, I’m not sure. I’m probably imagining things, but Beth hasn’t been laughing as much as usual lately, and she is a big laugher. And she forgot she was supposed to come to see a studio with me today.’