“Okay, but just don't go back to your place. That's probably the first place they'll look for me.”
So, as Janice drove along, she and Zeb pieced together the events of the past day and a half, from Zeb talking to his mother in Santa Fe, to the break-in at Janice's house, and then to the events at the hospital last night. Janice not only explained that the two guys at the hospital had been her friends, Todd and Rawlins, but that she had seen Pat this morning.
“Oh, shit,” moaned Zeb. “I knew it. I knew they'd send the whole posse after me.”
Zeb went on to tell Janice all about getting stuck last night, staying at the church, and then spying Paul out by the garage this morning.
“Who knows what happened to that minister. I saw Paul and took off. There's no messing with him.”
“No kidding.” Janice shook her head. “We've just got to put you someplace for the next day or two. Someplace that's safe and where they wouldn't even think of looking.”
“I could stay at a hotel. I don't have any money, but—”
“No, I've got a better idea.” She wanted Zeb not only somewhere safe, but where he could be watched as well. “You don't have anything against drag queens, do you?”
31
Todd was driving around the south end of Lake Calhoun when his car phone rang. As he picked it up he glanced to his left across the bright frozen surface of the lake, a white plain of winter. Beyond that rose a relatively new crop of glass and concrete, the sparkling towers of downtown.
“Hello?” he said.
“Hi, it's me,” said Rawlins over the line. “Where are you?”
“Just circling Lake Calhoun. I'm on my way to Janice's.”
“Listen, something's come up.”
Recognizing the seriousness in Rawlins's voice, Todd tensed. “What's the matter?”
“We've got what looks like an attempted murder.”
“Oh, shit.”
His mind immediately flashed to Janice's house. He should never have left her alone. Or Zeb—had he been harmed? The possibilities came charging at Todd and he nearly drove off the snowy road.
Todd began, “It's not…not—”
“Hey, don't panic. It's some guy you don't know, a minister in south Minneapolis.”
Rawlins went on to explain how the call had come in not too long after he'd arrived at the station. One of the members of this church had stopped by the parish house to help with the shoveling. Finding the front door wide open but no minister, the concerned churchgoer went out back, peered into the garage, and saw someone in a pile on the garage floor. He immediately called 911, and the police broke into the garage and found a guy unconscious and hypothermic.
“So why are you telling me all this?” asked Todd as he turned right on Xerxes and headed directly south.
“Well, the guy's still unconscious at the hospital, so we don't really know what happened. He'll probably be okay, but when the cops were at the garage this other neighbor comes along, this woman, who says she was over the night before. She'd brought over some baby clothes and stuff because some kid's car got stuck out front and the minister was letting this guy and his baby spend the night.”
A deep sense of dread plunged through him. “Zeb?”
“Right. She even mentioned him by name. A very polite young man, she said, but there was something odd about him. Like he was scared or something. The minister had taken her aside, said he thought the boy was in trouble and that he was worried about the baby. Our guys are searching the house right now, trying to see if anything was stolen, but—''
“But what?”
“But a car with Colorado plates is stuck in the snow right out front. There's no question that it's Zeb's. From the description it sounds like the same one we saw last night out at the hospital.”
Todd pulled to the side of the road and let a car pass. This didn't make any sense. For one thing, if Zeb were in fact guilty of any wrongdoing, why would he be so stupid as to leave his car there?
“Something else is going on,” said Todd into the phone.
“Let's hope so. The crime lab is over there right now. They're checking for footprints in the snow, but there's already been a slug of people walking around. They probably won't be able to get anything clean.”
“Well, listen, I'll be at Janice's in a few minutes, and if we think of anything we'll call. Or call us if anything comes up.”
Rawlins cleared his throat. “Something already has, Todd. That's why I'm calling.”
“What do you mean?”
“We're putting out an arrest warrant for Zeb.”
“You're kidding.”
“At this point we just want to talk with him, that's all.” Over the line Rawlins already sounded exasperated. “If you're in contact with him, if you know anything regarding his whereabouts, then you've got to give us a call; otherwise you'll be in trouble for conspiring to hide a fugitive. Do you understand?”
“Sure,” replied Todd, driving on, “but I wish I didn't.”
32
“Don't worry,” said Jeff, his voice hushed as he and Janice stood in the small kitchen of his bungalow. “He'll be perfectly safe here. I'll be gone most of the afternoon, but I'm sure he won't have any trouble.”
Janice stepped around the corner of the white refrigerator and peered into the living room, where Zeb was still seated on the couch feeding Ribka. They'd arrived only ten minutes ago, and Ribka had cried until she had a bottle.
“It's not just that,” whispered Janice. “I want you to keep an eye on him too. I don't think he'll bolt, but I really don't know.”
“Girlfriend, what is it with you and this kid and his baby? You're really hung up on them, aren't you?”
As she leaned against the white Formica countertop, Janice felt Jeff's suspicious eyes upon her and she glanced back in the living room. Avoiding his inquisitive, gossipy look, Janice turned and looked past the tiny round breakfast table and out the rear window. No, Todd wasn't the only one she had to tell about Zeb. Todd was the first, but then there were all her friends and even a few business associates.
“I'll tell you about it later.”
“There's a big secret there, and don't tell me there isn't,” replied Jeff, a catty twinkle in his eye as he took a quick sip of diet Coke. “I just love dirt, particularly by the truckload.”
“Sorry, now's not the time. For now I just don't want you to take your eyes off Zeb.”
Jeff stepped over to the sink, peered into the other room. “That shouldn't be difficult.”
“Knock it off, Jeff. This is serious, very serious.”
“Okay, okay, but we're opening a new show tonight and I've got a rehearsal this afternoon. Blizzard or not, I can't miss it.” Jeff looked at the clock on the microwave. “The guy who does the lights, Pedro, is coming by in fifteen minutes to pick me up. He's got one of those cars like Todd's. You know, one of those macho things with four wheels that all spin at the same time. Unfortunately, that means Zeb'll be here by himself.”
“Can't he go with you?”
“Well, well, well, aren't we the little Ms. Mother Hen. I guess he can. I mean, the more the merrier. He can either watch and applaud or stay in my dressing room.”
“Good. Do you have a phone down there?”
“How about a beeper? I'm sure we could get one and padlock it to him.”
“I just want to be able to reach you in case anything comes up.”
Jeff rolled his eyes, grabbed a paper napkin, and scribbled down a number. “This is the phone in the dressing room. Let it ring a long time. Or call back if I don't answer.”
“Thanks. Let me talk to him and straighten this out.” She leaned forward and kissed Jeff on the cheek. “Thanks. You're worth your weight in gold.”
“Then that must mean I'm priceless,” he replied, pinching his big waist.
Janice slipped out of the kitchen and into the living room, where Zeb held the baby against his shoulder. She walked around the television and sat down ne
xt to him on the couch, sinking into the deep white cushions.
“Sometimes it takes her forever to burp,” said Zeb as he patted Ribka' s back with a sure, steady movement.
“Did she eat much?”
“The whole bottle. She must have been starved. Do you think I should give her more?”
Janice wished she had more experience in these matters, and she said, “Actually, I think father knows best. This is all a little bit new to me, you know.”
Suddenly this rumbling started, and then a huge belch erupted out of the baby's tiny body. Janice and Zeb looked at each other and burst out with laughter.
“Wow, that's the best one I've ever heard her do,” said Zeb in amazement.
“I never got anything close to that when she was at my house.” She reached over and gently rubbed Ribka's back. “Do you know what a great dad you are, Zeb?”
“Thanks. Even though I was raised with a bunch of religious nuts, Mom was really great and—” He stopped, his brow tightening into a mass of deep furrows. “I'm sorry, I…I didn't mean to offend you.”
“Don't worry, you didn't.” All of this was so hard; Janice wanted to both do and say everything right and at the same time not show how much she hurt inside. “She is your mother, and she did a wonderful job raising you. You're supposed to call her ‘Mom.' ”
“Then what do I call you? ‘Janice' just sounds so…so distant.”
“Well, we'll have to work on that, the distant part. After all this settles down I hope we'll spend a good amount of time together.”
Zeb smiled. “Me too.”
“Good.” Janice hesitated, then said, “We've got a lot to talk about. Or I do anyway. There's a lot I'd like to try to explain.”
“Okay.”
Looking at him just now, she saw that there was still so much of a young boy left in him. “Okay” meant yes, he wanted to hear it all, he wanted to know everything, wanted to understand just why he'd been given up for adoption. And Janice would try her best to put it all into perspective for him. After thinking so much about it all these years, after reading so many books and articles, she hoped she'd have something intelligent and comforting to tell him.
“Unfortunately,” said Janice, “we don't have time right now. Jeff has to go downtown to a rehearsal, and I'm hoping you'll go with him. I'd just feel better if you and Ribka weren't alone. There've been so many problems already that I don't want you here by yourselves.” She hesitated, then added, “Plus, to be perfectly honest, I don't want you taking off. I…I just don't want to lose you again.”
“Sure, we'll go.”
“Jeff's rehearsing for a drag show. It's at a gay bar, the Gay Times, but at this time of day it'll be empty. Is that okay? You won't have a problem going in there with him, will you?”
Zeb shrugged. “That's fine.”
“Trust me, I know a bunch of the queens down there and they're all real sweet. They'll probably fight over who's going to baby-sit Ribka.”
Zeb started to laugh, then stopped. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“Well, are all your friends gay?”
“I guess a lot of them are.” With a grin she added, “But some of my best friends are straight.”
He obviously failed to see the humor, and asked, “What about those two guys last night, the ones who came out to the hospital?”
“Yes, Todd is a very old friend. One of my closest and…well, most important friends.” She put her hand to her head, told herself to leave it at that for now. “He and Rawlins are dating, actually.”
“Oh.”
She saw the seriousness wash back over his face. He's not, she prayed, drifting away, is he? I'm not losing him over this, am I? He'd said he didn't have trouble with her sexuality, but maybe he did, maybe he simply couldn't identify and articulate it. Janice sat there, trembling inside, fearing that she was losing him even as she was watching. Mother has baby. Mother loses baby. Mother finds baby-who's-now-a-young-man. Mother loses him again because…?
“Does it…” Zeb started to talk, stopped, tried to formulate his concern. “Does it matter to you that I'm…well, you know, different than you?”
She studied him, wondering, Is he asking what I think he is? “Zeb, I'm not sure I understand what you're saying.”
“Janice, I'm…I'm straight. Do…do you care? I mean, does it make a difference to you?”
Staring at his beautiful young face, so innocent, so desirous of love, the question took her by surprise. What he wanted to know was just so simple, so honest, but at first Janice couldn't think what to say, merely because she'd never pondered the issue from that side of the fence.
“Oh, my God, Zeb.” She reached out and took one of his hands in hers, felt herself choking up. “It doesn't matter who you are or who you love, whether you're gay…or straight.” Then she had to stifle a small and incredulous grin, for she never, ever expected to be saying these words. “Sweetheart, I just want you to know how incredibly proud I am of you. You don't even know how much I love you.” She paused and added, “And how much I hope to one day earn your love as well.”
“But you already have,” he said. “Earned it, I mean.”
At the same moment they were both reaching out, birth mother and son, embracing each other with the small baby cradled in between. Janice felt her granddaughter squirming against her, felt the strength of her son holding on to her, and was amazed. To her it was a miracle, this sense of fullness that she thought she had so long ago abdicated.
“Ahem. I'm sorry to break up this little love fest, kiddies, but this girl's got a song to sing. My pal Pedro will be here any minute.”
Janice and Zeb pulled back to see Jeff standing in the doorway, a small cosmetics case in hand.
Janice wiped her eyes with the back of her right hand and said to Zeb, “Okay, you stick with Jeff and he'll make sure everything's all right.”
“That's right, if anyone tries to hurt you,” interjected Jeff, “I'll beat them with my pearls and tie them up with my feather boa.”
Zeb asked, “But when am I going to see you again, Janice?”
“Soon. I hope all this will be over real soon.”
33
Todd had been sitting on the living room couch for over ten minutes when he heard her key in the rear door. He didn't move, just sat there in his beige down parka and listened as Janice stomped her feet and took off her coat in the kitchen.
“And where were you?” he finally called.
“Todd, is that you?” she responded, unable to hide her surprise.
“No, it's just your friendly neighborhood thug come back for another violent assault.”
“You scared me.” She appeared at the edge of the living room. “How did you get in?”
“You left the back door open. You must have been going somewhere in a hurry, huh? I checked and saw that your car was gone. And don't tell me you just went to the post office.”
“I didn't.” She came in, crossing through the large room and dropping herself in an overstuffed armchair alongside the couch. “Actually…actually, my dear, Zeb called.”
Little could have surprised him more, and Todd sat up and demanded, “What? Where is he?”
“He phoned from a gas station.”
“I can't believe it.”
“I went and picked him up.”
“So where is he? Outside?”
“No, I took him somewhere.”
“Such as?”
“Somewhere safe.”
“Janice,” said Todd, clasping his hands and his voice growing tense, “don't hold out on me. We need to start being real frank with each other. This kid's in serious trouble.”
“No, he's in serious danger.”
“That too, but you haven't heard. Rawlins just called me on my car phone. Some guy was attacked—it just happened a couple of hours ago—and they have a warrant out for Zeb's arrest.”
“Oh, no.” She put both her hands to her f
ace. “Not the minister.”
“How the hell did you know that?”
“Zeb told me.”
“So he did it?'
“No, of course not.” Janice took a deep breath. “Zeb's car got stuck in the snow last night, and this minister took Zeb and Ribka in for the night.”
Todd had been holding on to the hope, however small, that the police were somehow mistaken. But quite obviously they weren't. Todd shook his head, unzipped his coat, wondered how much worse it could get.
“First some religious kooks are after Zeb, and now the police,” Todd said. “What else did he tell you? Like who went after this guy, this minister?”
“Maybe.”
Todd sat there in disbelief as Janice recounted the entire sequence of events, from getting the phone call, to picking up Zeb, to Zeb's story of what had happened at the minister's house. Piecing it all together, Todd was relieved that it made sense, particularly since Todd had come face to face with this guy, this Paul.
“So what do you think?” asked Todd. “Do you believe Zeb? Do you trust him?”
“Implicitly.”
He sat back, glanced around the large room with its tall ceiling, then gazed out at the sunny, white day. He didn't even know Zeb, barely knew what he looked like.
“Call me nuts, but I guess I trust him too.” The next moment Todd eyed her and asked rather lightly, “See anyone else today?”
“Actually, yes.” Janice stared down at the floor as if in shame. “I saw Pat—Pat from Northwestern. He's here in town, and I met him just a little while ago. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Todd, but I was trying to keep it as simple as possible.”
“So what happened?”
“I ended up telling him to go to hell.”
He couldn't help but grin. That was just like Janice. Always moral. Always—well, almost always—forthright. Relieved that she had told him and that finally, perhaps, everything else was being laid out, he knew he had to tell her too.
Todd said, “I saw him too.”
“What?”
“When I stopped by my place he was waiting for me in the lobby.”
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