by Tiana Laveen
“I was.” The woman’s smile dissipated as she leaned forward and reached out to wrap her hands around the white half-filled coffee mug that sat on the table. “But then I reminded myself who my sweet Bailey was, always wanting to handle things on your own and not have people fretting over you. Meniere’s Disease is something I’d never heard of.”
“Me neither.”
“Well, how do you feel right now?” She didn’t miss the look of concern in her mother’s weary eyes.
“I’ve had good and bad days, but thankfully, I’ve been doing fairly well for some time now. I take some over the counter drugs for dizziness and nausea when needed.” Bailey ran her hand along the edge of the table and sighed. “Work has been a little demanding, but in a good way. I just try to not overload myself. That may have contributed to the episode I had as it can be exacerbated by stress.”
“I see.” Her mother tapped on the table. “And you’re a success. You worked hard to get where you’re at.”
“I have… but,” she said with a shrug, “I needed to slow down a bit. I kept pushing myself, trying to prove that if I just worked harder, everything would work out. Well, hard work does pay off, but it shouldn’t be to the detriment of my health. What’s the use of landing a movie deal if I’m in ICU and can’t fulfill the contract?” She grimaced, and her mother offered a nod of understanding.
“Onto more pleasant news… When I arrived, I noticed several photos of you and a certain someone. So, who is he?”
Bailey couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear as she cast a glance into her kitchen, at the framed photo of her and Chancellor that she’d turned into a magnet and hung on the refrigerator. Bernie came tromping in and lay at her mother’s feet.
“My sweetie.” She beamed. “His name is Chancellor Hartmann. Mom, he’s wonderful. So encouraging, handsome, straightforward, smart… I think you’d really like him.”
“I’d like to meet him. Maybe we can have dinner while I’m here this weekend?”
“He’s actually out of town, but he’ll be back on Sunday. I will give him a call and see if we can possibly go to lunch before you head back.”
“That sounds like a good plan.”
Her mother clasped her hand tight, and in that instant, she fought back sudden tears.
“Mom, can I ask you a question?”
“Yes, what is it, honey?” She took a sip of her drink.
“I asked you a couple of times in the past, but never really got an answer. I asked Dad before he passed away, and had the same results, basically. What happened between you and him? Why did your marriage end?”
“Oh, Bailey.” Mom slid her hand away and twisted her mouth in a nervous fashion. “That was so long ago. I really think—”
“Mom, please. I’m begging you.” Tears welled in Bailey’s eyes. “I have to confess something to you. I have always been a little afraid of marriage because of that. I never put two and two together until a year or so ago, but,” she said, fidgeting and fretting, “it’s been at times debilitating. You guys seemed happy, and then, before I knew it, poof! I had divorced parents. In the past, when relationships sometimes got too serious, I’d run. Other times, I seemed hell-bent on trying to turn playboys into upstanding family men. It’s like I just couldn’t be realistic about the matter. I had to either pick someone who was not the commitment type, run from the possible commitment, or choose a person I’d never ever commit to!”
“And you blame that on my and your father’s divorce?” Her mother seemed taken aback, even downright insulted.
“No, but I believe it played a part in it, because it seems that if you and Dad can split, then anyone can. You just seemed so happy together.”
“Look, Bailey, things are not always cut and dry, and things are definitely not all they’re cut out to be. This is probably not a good time to discuss this.” The woman looked away, as if hoping that would be the end of it. But Bailey couldn’t allow it to be.
“Mom.” She rested her hand across her mother’s. “I don’t need it to be simple and to the point, cut and dry, stress-free and easily digestible. If it’s complicated, I can get it. My comprehension is one of my strong suits. Look how old I am, Mom. I’m not a baby, I’m not a teenager, I’m not even a young adult. I am a full-fledged grown woman who is trying to unravel a mystery, one that, quite frankly, shouldn’t even exist. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t know the truth. You’re not just my mother. We’re friends.”
Mom looked down into her lap then flopped back onto the couch. She stared up at the ceiling. Bailey gave her a few moments to regroup.
“It was me…” She sighed and rubbed on her forehead. Their gazes hooked. “Call it superficiality, unmet expectations, whatever you wish, but your father was not goal-oriented. After he got discharged from the army, he didn’t seem to want anything. I mean, he kept a job and worked hard,” she said. “But he never seemed to want more out of life, Bailey. I fell in love with him at a young age. We were in love with each other, and I got this idea in my mind that he’d change after marriage. Well, he never did. He was a nice man, but his lack of ambition wore me down and turned me off. I would talk about him going to college, but he didn’t want to hear any of it, despite him being truly brilliant Bailey. Your father was so smart! I know school isn’t for everyone, but we had a new baby girl, you, and he still was making minimum wage and struggling.
“I got out there and found a job, and he saw me struggling too, yet he didn’t do anything about it, even with knowing that I was going crazy not being with you. I resented him, Bailey. I resented him with every fiber of my being and I got tired of begging. I got tired of him ruining my fairytale, but you know what?” Mom’s eyes watered. “It wasn’t Samuel’s fault; it was mine. He showed me who he was and I had no right to try and change him, make him out to be someone he wasn’t. He was a simple man, wanting a simple life. He never put on airs. I was the one in the background looking for a come up, as they say. I felt like wanting more in life was normal, and to me it is, but it took me a long time to realize that not everyone that is fine with their lot in life deserves condemnation!
“Some people just…” Mom took a deep breath and shook her head. “Some people are just fine with how their lot in life is presented. I was wrong, but I couldn’t stay in a marriage that was drowning me, making me feel like I could never get ahead. I didn’t need fancy clothes and jewels, but I wanted a backyard for my baby, a washing machine that wasn’t on the fritz, and a car in the driveway instead of just a bus pass in my pocketbook.” A tear cascaded down Mom’s cheek. Bailey smiled at the woman as her eyes stung with tears too. Leaning forward, she patted her mother’s face dry. “So yes, it was me … I broke up your home. And I’m sorry that I couldn’t bring myself to tell you this before. I don’t like how it makes me sound because I loved your daddy, Bailey. I truly did, and I hope that you believe me, despite what happened.”
“Don’t be sorry, Mom. You both loved me. I had a good childhood. I know this was hard for you, and I am not sure what to make of it all. I thought it would have been a different reason… This is surprising, actually.”
“What did you think it was? Cheating?” Mom’s brow rose.
“Yeah.” Bailey smiled sadly. “Something I could wrap my brain around. Dad was simple, just like you said. It didn’t take much to please him. He was fine coming home from work, having me every other weekend, and drinking a beer on Saturday night. He just wanted to play Checkers with me, go to the park, go to the local diner and get a Salisbury steak dinner. He never remarried, Mom…” Her voice trailed off as her daydreams and thoughts faded, too. She looked over at her fireplace. The flames appeared softer than usual, calm and low. They sat there quietly, their hands wrapped around one another.
“I guess, what one person sees as drive and motivation, another person may not. Maybe, to Dad, being reliable at his job, you know—arriving on time, being kind to strangers and smiling even through the pain—was how he saw ambition?”
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Mom nodded, her tears flowing freely now.
“I believe you’re right, Bailey. When he died, I felt so bad, honey. Not just for myself and you, but because of how he and I had left things. There were no harsh words. Your father wasn’t a yeller but inside, I think he was screaming a whole lot. He and I were just two totally different people. We met, fell in love, and we tried to keep that love flowing, honey. Then it drew cold and clogged up within us. I couldn’t accept him, and he couldn’t accept me. In his eyes, I was never satisfied. And in mine, he wasn’t living life, just breathing. I had no right, in retrospect, to judge him like that, but you know what? I’m glad you had him as a father because he was a really good dad, wasn’t he?”
“Yes.” Bailey snatched a tissue off the table and blew her nose. “He was a great father. And he never said one bad word about you. When I’d ask about the divorce, he’d just say, ‘sometimes people grow apart.’ Nothing more, nothing less. I think Dad would’ve liked Chancellor though. And you know what else?”
“What?”
“Being simple isn’t a crime, just like you said, and I can say the same about what you desired from life.” Bailey reached out to pull the older woman in a tight embrace. It was wonderful having Mom stop by. She’d missed her so much. But now that she was here, she never wanted to let go. The truth would set them both free…
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The Lavender Rules of Engagement
…One month later
The scent of lavender permeated the air, its sweetness and serenity tilting the exquisiteness of the sights and sounds to the max. Chancellor walked hand and hand with Bailey at Washington Island in Door County. This was a beautiful hideaway, tucked away in a remote area of Wisconsin, and it boasted of superb once-in-a-lifetime views.
“I’ve never seen lavender fields before. This is beautiful, Chancellor.” Bailey rested her head on his shoulder as they watched the sun go down. The sky was strewn with colors of lilac, pale yellow, and baby pink. It reminded him of a watercolor painting.
“After flying back and forth to California, I needed this.” Bailey sighed. “Just some peace and quiet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been amazing. I got hired for the new movie and the work is fun, even though it’s long hours. But, this life balance thing has got to be in the forefront of my mind. Only problem is, I keep forgetting about that.” She laughed nervously.
He knew that look in her eye—the one that showed a person being driven to the brink. Bailey was such a determined soul. She was living out her dreams, making sense of an insane world, one day at time. She was his ray of sunshine on a gloomy, cold day. A rainbow after his internal storm… Her smile lit up his soul, and now, he was determined to have her with him for as long as he possibly could…
“Bailey, there’s something I want to say.”
She raised her head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. “Yeah, baby? What’s wrong?” Smiling at him, she caressed his jaw.
“Nothing. In fact, everything is perfect… and that’s why… that’s why I need to ask you an important question.” Dropping to one knee, he took her hand, and then kissed it.
“Chancellor…” she whispered, her eyes growing wide.
“Bailey, you’ve kept me warm during a snow storm. Not the winter blues we both endured together, but the storm that was raging within me. I was a walking tornado—full of anger, bitterness and rage. I had a million reasons to be happy and instead of focusing on the positives in my life, I magnified the things that irked me most, not even realizing that the stuff I found the most disturbing resided in me too. I chose to look at the glass as half-empty. I found fault in others. I picked and picked, refusing to treat my own issues in the same way I went after others like some bloodhound. I enjoyed hurting people; only, I didn’t know this at the time. I am finding out all of these things about myself through the meetings, and it’s not pretty. But, you know what? I accept myself and love myself enough to change these things. I have good qualities too … so, those are the things you saw in me I guess, the stuff that made you fall in love with a guy like me.”
“Of course I saw the good in you! And I don’t believe you enjoyed hurting people Chancellor. I think you just like being right, and if in the past that truth hurt someone along the way, you just didn’t have a problem with it. That’s not cool either, but there’s a big difference.” Her eyes held such love and trust, she humbled him. “Well, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Carry on.”
He mulled her words. She always knew how to make him feel better.
“Maybe you’re right, but what I do know for sure is that I don’t deserve you, but I want you. I like going after women that are, in some ways, out of my league. It makes me feel like a big shot when I get ’em.” At this, they both burst out laughing. “But seriously Bailey, I love you.” His smile faded as he looked up into her beautiful, dark brown eyes. “I love you more than I can ever explain. I’m here for you, and I know you’re here for me. I never got a real chance to marry a friend … a person I could share my innermost thoughts with, be defenseless with, and allow my true self to be seen. But this time, I want to experience that. You know me, accept me, and just want what is best for me. Thank you for being one of the wheels to set my life in motion, in the truest sense of the word.” Releasing her hand, he retrieved a small black box from his jacket pocket.
He opened it and grinned when she gasped at the sight of the gorgeous square diamond he’d paid a mint for. Taking her hand in his grasp once more, he looked up at her, fighting his emotions.
“Bailey, let’s get married … be my wife.”
“That’s not a question Chancellor!” She rolled her eyes at the man and laughed when he got to his feet and slid the ring onto her finger.
“I know it’s not. I know what I want and I go after it. You could always refuse, but I have a sneaking suspicion we’re on the same page.”
“We are… and yes, I’ll be your wife.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her, inviting him for a kiss. He welcomed her warmth, her touch, drawing her in his embrace like the most precious of beings—which she was. With a gentle maneuver, he wiggled his tongue between her lips and drew her in, kissing her with all of the passion and fervor he could muster.
“Mmmm,” she moaned, a sexy smirk on her face. “I like that.”
“Oh yeah?” They rubbed noses. “Well, there’s more where that came from.” He winked and ended it with a peck on her lips. Hand in hand again, they continued their walk in the lavender fields. The sun had almost completely set, and the brightest light poured forth from tiki torches and Chinese lanterns in the distance. Chancellor paused and pulled out his phone.
“Do you mind if I call Anthony for a second?”
“No, not at all.” He scrolled through his contacts and selected his son’s number.
“Hey, Dad!” the youth said breathlessly. “I just ran up the steps from getting the laundry. So, what happened?”
“Hey there. Well, I’m just calling to give you the good news. I asked Bailey to marry me, just like I told you I was going to today.” He deposited a kiss on the woman’s cheek as he floated on Cloud 9. “And she said yes.” His face practically split, he was grinning so hard, and he didn’t miss Bailey’s giggles at his expression.
“Congrats, Dad! I can’t wait to meet her soon.”
“I can’t wait until you meet her either. She’s everything I could want and then some… I’m one lucky man.”
Running along Juniper Path felt awesome in the mornings. After taking his morning coffee and a lightly buttered English muffin, Chancellor had decided to take a quick jog down the popular local walking path before driving to work. His mind raced with thoughts of schedules, meetings, product line discussions, and the latest and greatest trends in aquatic lighting technology. Many might find such topics boring, but to him, it was as exciting as a roller coaster ride. He coasted around a shrouded bend full of shrubbery and twisting tree branches. The sounds of bird
s chirping and the muted, distant bark of a dog could be heard in the near distance.
Bernie…
No, it wasn’t Bernie, but the silly old boy popped into his mind.
His lips curled in a grin as he went over his latest conversations and plans with his fiancé…
Yeah, that’s what we’ll do…
The decision was made…
He’d left it up to her, though inside, his stodgy ways had almost forced him to have a breakdown at the thought of giving up his creature comforts. Due to his home having more room and two separate offices for each of them, Bailey decided she’d use her property as a rental to garner some additional income and move with Bernie into his home once the time was right. The idea of having a rental property appealed to Chancellor, especially in their upscale neighborhood where one could charge an amount worthy of the possible headache that comes with some tenants.
Wedding plans were in motion. Luckily, they both desired something simple, not fussy, but pleasing to the eye and elegant. In the next two months, he’d be watching Bailey walk down the aisle toward him. His thigh muscles began to feel the burn when he amped his pace, his heart beating faster and his sneakers slapping hard against the narrow path. A soft, cool breeze bathed his face and he realized that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t wipe the damn smile off his face…
Bailey’s gown sported strategically placed lacey, ivory eyelets. She’d hired a local seamstress to make a dress according to her specifications. She kept running her fingers over the material, falling in love with it over and over again. Anything to focus on something other than the fogginess in her brain.
The Loft and Chapel at Cedar Ridge in Waukesha, Wisconsin proved to be the perfect venue spot. The gazebo was all set for the outdoor wedding ceremony, and the ultra-warm weather had turned out perfect for such an occasion. The reception would be held indoors, in the banquet hall decorated in shades of blue with white accents.
