Bracing the Blue Line

by Lindsay Paige

  “What are y'all about to do?” Grant asks with nothing but genuine curiosity, leaning against the door to his room. That's how all his questions come across, with pure curiosity.

  “Watch a Madea movie. Maybe you can call Lucy and we can all watch it together.”

  “Sure, that sounds like fun. I'll call her.” He disappears into his room, and I face Maddie.

  “Get the movies and I'll fix some popcorn.”

  She smiles. “Thank you, Winston.” Maddie places her hand on my shoulder for leverage and pushes herself up with her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. She quickly walks around me and into my room before I can react. I head into the kitchen to get started on that popcorn. Grant appears moments later, saying that Patrick is bringing Lucy over.

  “What's going on between you two? Seriously.”

  “What's going on with you and Maddie?” he counters, grabbing a drink from the fridge.

  “What are y'all talking about?”

  We turn to find Maddie with her hand propped on her hip and the DVDs in her hand. I almost feel like I've been caught red-handed stealing a cookie from the cookie jar when my mother specifically told me I couldn't have one.

  “Winston thinks there's something between Lucy and me. I was trying to piss him off,” Grant explains.

  Maddie seems to shrug it off, hopping onto the counter next to me. “Well, why haven't you made your move yet, Grant? What's holding you back?”

  He moves to sit at the kitchen table. “Maybe I don't want to date Lucy.” His eyes are on the table, and I say exactly what I'm thinking.

  “I call bullshit. You're just chicken because of what she said at the game.”

  Grant shakes his head. “That's not it. Why are you ganging up on me, Maddie? Has Lucy said something to you?” There's a bit too much interest in his voice.

  Maddie shrugs a shoulder. “I think she likes you and you should ask her out already.”

  He shakes his head again just as there's a knock on the door. I grab a bowl and the popcorn, almost forgotten in the microwave, and Maddie leans over to whisper in my ear conspiratorially while I try not to think about how close her lips are to my skin.

  “Do you think he's really too scared to ask? Or do you think there's something going on we don't know about?”

  “Not sure. Grant asks questions and rarely ever gets asked any.” I turn the conversation back to her. “Do you get homesick often? Has this happened before? You know you'll be home soon, right?”

  She rests her chin on my shoulder, it's digging into me a little when she talks. “I know. Maybe I wanted an excuse to hang out with you.” Maddie hops down and goes to meet with Lucy and Grant in the living room. I hear her greet Lucy, “What?! No camera? I'm proud of you, Lucy.”

  I roll my eyes, finally entering the living room with a bowl of popcorn. Grant and Lucy are already sitting on the couch while Maddie pops in the DVD. I sit next to Lucy, giving her the popcorn so it's in the middle.

  “Hey, Winston,” she greets.

  “Hey, Lucy,” I reply. Maddie turns around and frowns. “What?”

  “If I sit over here, I'll feel lonely and won't have access to the popcorn.”

  “Come sit with me then.”

  Maddie raises an eyebrow but walks over, taking a seat in my lap. I pull the lever on the side of the couch to make the foot come up. Maddie moves, so most of her upper body is on my right side.

  “Happy?”

  She nods as Grant presses play on the remote. Lucy looks a little uncomfortable, but doesn't say anything. As the movie starts, Maddie gets really comfy, which only distracts me. She'll reach for some popcorn and in between munching on that, she's got a hand at the top of my left thigh. As if sitting on my lap isn't enough distraction. Why did I even suggest this? I should have sat in the other chair by myself and let Maddie sit here. Her thumb keeps moving back and forth, driving me crazy.

  I don't really want to draw attention to the fact that she's doing this and that I want her to stop, but if she doesn't, she might start feeling something beneath her. So when she goes for more popcorn, I place my own hand on my thigh to prevent her from putting hers there again. All I can seem to think about is what she said. That maybe she wanted to come hang out with me. Maddie consumes my thoughts until the damn movie is over.

  “I'm hungry,” she states. “Why don't we all go out to eat?”

  Lucy glances at Grant, who smiles and says, “Can you survive without your camera for that long?”

  She slaps his shoulder and he laughs. “That sounds like fun,” Lucy tells Maddie.

  “Great,” I cut in, pushing the foot back down. “Maddie, up.” I can't stand another moment of her in my lap. She was too cozy there, too touchy-feely, and enough is enough. When she stands up, I subtly take a deep breath of relief.

  Grant offers to drive, so we head out to a restaurant across town. Everyone in fucking town must be here because we have to wait for a table and there's no sitting room left. We huddle in a corner, standing pretty close together. Maddie suddenly wraps her arms around my waist in a side hug, she tilts her head back to look at me. Absentmindedly, I put my hand on her lower back. I wish I could slide it lower into her back pocket, but I can't do that.

  “Thanks for letting me hang out with you.”

  The way she says it makes it seem like she means because she really was homesick. But I want an answer, damn it. I lean down, thankful she lifts herself on her tiptoes, and my lips brush her cheek as I ask, “Because you were homesick? Or a different, better reason?”

  She grins at me. “Both.”

  Maddie doesn't remove her arms until she and Lucy excuse themselves to the restroom.

  “NOTHING GOING ON, huh?” I chuckle and shake my head at Winston.

  “She's confusing the hell out of me, Grant. We're supposed to be friends.” He rubs his hand on the back of his neck, and I notice that he really does look torn about it.

  “Throw caution to the wind then. Ask her out,” I suggest.

  “Shouldn't I be telling you that?”

  I shake my head again. “No, I'm pretty sure caution is needed.”

  “Caution for what?” Lucy asks curiously as they rejoin us.

  “A situation with Neil,” I lie.

  We're saved from any further questions when we're finally called because our table is ready. Part of me is surprised as hell that Lucy is even here, but then again, we had fun this weekend. She sits next to me in the booth, close enough that she isn't on the outer edge, but far enough away that we won't bump elbows while eating. After the waitress takes our orders, I notice that unlike us, Maddie is sitting dangerously close to Winston. Hopefully, he'll take my advice because it sure seems like she wants him to.

  “How's training going for the run?” Maddie asks Lucy with a big smile. “I'm so excited. Grant, you should do it with us! Winston's too much of a loser.” She gently pokes him in the ribs.

  I shrug her off as Lucy answers, “It's going good. How many people are they expecting?”

  “Over a thousand have already signed up. It's supposed to be huge.”

  Lucy swallows hard and tries to cover it by taking a sip of water. Wanting to comfort her, I pat her thigh twice, but before I can remove it, she covers my hand with her own. Lucy hasn't been a touchy kind of person, so her action surprises me. She doesn't ask me about running with them, though.

  “How long is a 5K anyway?” Winston questions.

  “3.1 miles,” Lucy says.

  “Is it your first run?” he adds.

  Lucy nods as our food arrives. She finally releases my hand, so we can eat. Our conversation breaks in two as Maddie and Lucy continue talking and Winston and I focus on more important things. Like food.

  “How did your date go, Lucy?” Maddie asks, catching everyone's attention. She gives me a quick pointed glance, like this is evidence that I should make my move soon before someone else does.

  I turn my head to look at Lucy, whose cheeks are flaming red. “Date?” I
repeat. She never mentioned it to me, but then why would she?

  “Yeah, I set her up with someone last week,” Maddie inputs. “I can't believe I forgot to ask you about it!”

  Lucy looks around the table, realizes she has everyone's eyes on her, and stumbles over her words. “Um, I, uh, didn't go. Sorry, Maddie.”

  “How come?”

  “Seriously, Maddie? He...” Lucy slides her eyes over at me briefly before shaking her head. “He just freaked me out.”

  Maddie looks confused, like that's not possible, but I know firsthand that it doesn't take much to freak Lucy out. And that guy must have done a number if she didn't bother going out with him. Honestly, that makes me feel pretty good about myself because I've said the not-so-right thing to Lucy before and she still hangs out with me. Conversation seems stilted after that and soon we're going back to the house.

  “I can take you back to campus, Lucy,” I offer as I park. I need to go to the library anyway, so it won't be out of my way.

  “Thanks.” She looks into the backseat. “I'll text you later, okay?” she tells Maddie. I see Maddie nod in my rearview and then she and Winston are getting out and heading inside. When we're on the road again, Lucy says, “Maddie's something else, isn't she?”

  I laugh. “What makes you say that?”

  “She's very outgoing, I guess. I mean, right after we went to the game, she wanted to set me up with that guy and...” Lucy shivers like she's cold.

  “That bad?” I question curiously.

  “I'm probably overreacting, but he was a little on the creepy side to me when we were texting. I feel bad though.”

  “Why?”

  “I canceled last minute,” she answers as I park near her building.

  “Don't feel bad, Lucy.” I reach over to squeeze her knee, earning myself a smile.

  “Thanks. I'll catch you later, I guess.”

  I wait until she disappears into the building before I leave for the library. I'm still not so sure about asking Lucy out myself, and I would like to relax for a bit after this weekend. After finding my favorite, secluded table, I take a seat and pull out my latest read. Not even an hour passes with me hunched over the table, reading, before I start hearing that subtle clicking noise.

  Lucy.

  That sneaky girl. A smile quirks up the corners of my mouth, and I try not to let her know that I've noticed she's here, but it's followed by a sigh to my left.

  “You heard me.” She sounds so upset that I chuckle.

  I turn to find her exactly where I saw her the last time. “Did I ruin it?”

  “Yeah, sort of,” she says as she walks over to the table. “You ruined the shot I wanted, but you still gave me a good one.”

  She only has her camera with her, so I ask, “Do you ever come here to study? Or just to find people to photograph secretly?”

  “Do you ever come here to study?” she fires back, pulling my book from my hands to read the back.

  “Sometimes, just not today.” I take my book back.

  “Well, I'll let you go back to reading and I'll go back to secretly photographing people. Later, Grant.”

  I laugh as she stands and walks away. Forget Maddie. Lucy's something else, that's for sure.

  “WHAT ARE YOU doing for Thanksgiving this year, boys?” Mrs. Lanier asks as we wrap up another Sunday dinner.

  “Please come eat with us, Neil. Please, please, please,” Alice begs. “Bo can come too, right, Mom?”

  Mrs. Lanier laughs. “Of course.”

  “I'm going to see my parents, actually. Thanks for the invite, though,” Bo tells Alice.

  “Neil? Please,” Alice tries one more time. “You could invite Audra! When is the baby coming anyway? When can I meet her and the baby? Have you picked a name yet?”

  “Calm down,” I laugh. “One question at a time. The baby will be here in February and we don't have a name yet. I don't know about Thanksgiving, Alice.”

  She frowns. “You'll be here for my birthday, won't you?”

  “Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world,” I tell her.

  She smiles, hugs me, and then looks to her mom. “Can I go play now?”

  “Sure, sweetie.”

  Once she's out of the room, Mr. Lanier asks if I've told my parents yet. I sigh. “Yeah, I told them this weekend. I don't think they are exactly thrilled, and they want a paternity test. She said she would understand if I wanted one, but...” I trail off, not finishing my sentence. I'm a bit nervous about bringing it up to Audra, despite what she said.

  “I'm sure it'll be fine,” Mrs. Lanier reassures me.

  I repeat her words in my head as I play with Alice as promised, as I take Bo back to the house, and as I drive to Audra's. Those words become my mantra until I knock twice on her door.

  “Come in,” I hear Audra yell from the other side of the door. When I walk inside, her mother is in the kitchen cooking, and she's laying on the couch with her feet propped up.

  “Feet bothering you?” I question, lifting them so I can sit down, placing them in my lap.

  “Yeah. Ma decided to fix dinner for me. How'd your weekend go? You know, when you weren't calling me?”

  I smile, beginning to rub her feet. “It was great, but I'm tired. Does this feel good?” I question, referring to the work my hands are doing.

  “I think I love you,” she moans, causing me to laugh.

  “That has to be the hormones talking,” I say as I continue to massage her feet.

  Her eyes are closed from the pleasure and she doesn't miss a beat when she hums her agreement. “You're probably right because I've been really horny lately too. But I'll definitely accept the foot massage.”

  My hands stop moving at her words, and I stare at her. Audra has completely thrown me. I can't believe she would say something like that, especially since she's caught the attention of her mother as well. Her eyes pop open, her head lifts, and she raises an eyebrow.

  “Finding it hard to chide a pregnant woman, aren't you?” she asks us, glancing back and forth. “God, I love being pregnant. People won't say anything to some of the stuff that comes out of my mouth. It's like I'm an old lady and they don't think they can say anything because I might burst into tears, which is totally plausible, by the way.”

  “Yeah, well, don't plan on getting knocked up again at any point in the next five years, Audra,” her mother orders.

  “No worries, Ma. Keep rubbing, Neil.”

  Chuckling, I follow orders. Her mother finishes cooking, bringing a plate to Audra minutes later.

  “I have to go, Audra.” She leans down to kiss her forehead. “Call if you need me.”

  “Thanks, Ma. Really, thanks.”

  “You're welcome. Maybe next time, we can get to know each other better, Neil.”

  “That sounds great, Mrs. Garcia,” I reply.

  She and Audra exchange goodbyes before she leaves. Audra pulls her feet from my lap to sit up, so she can eat. It looks like some sort of creamy soup.

  “Feel free to fix yourself a bowl, Neil,” she offers.

  I decline, having just eaten. Maybe this will be a good time to bring up the test. For a moment, I watch her purse her lips to cool down her spoonful of soup. Part of me is extremely relieved because Audra isn't too bad to be around. She's been easy to get along with and hanging out with her has almost been enjoyable. Shaking my head and clearing my throat, I decide to get it over with.

  “I saw my parents over the weekend.”

  “Really? Did you tell them about the baby?”

  “Yeah. They are insisting on a paternity test.” I watch her carefully for any ounce of a bad reaction. She shouldn't give me one, but who knows.

  Audra nods in agreement. “Okay, cool. At least if we do it now and you know, then you can't ever bring it up when we get into an argument or use it as an excuse to leave me high and dry with a baby.”

  And there goes how good I felt about things. Not like I can blame her for saying shit like that. On the ot
her hand, just because I'm a guy who has fucked around a lot, doesn't mean I'm a terrible person with no morals.

  Or maybe it does.

  What the fuck do I know?

  I clench my jaw to refrain from saying something I'll regret because it'll probably make her cry. That's the last thing I want to do. But my mind won't stop thinking. The girls all know that there's nothing between me and them and that my intentions are only to have sex. Nothing more, nothing less. That has to count for something, right? That I'm honest and upfront? Or does none of that matter because I'm still a shitty guy who will sleep with pretty much any girl? Not that I've had the time to get laid lately...

  Maybe it's not even about that. Maybe it's because I told her to give the baby up for adoption that day. Audra may have that locked in her mind, and she's really worried that I'll leave her “high and dry” at the first opportunity. Either way, I'm pissed. If I was going to do that, I would have already.

  “Sorry, Neil. That was wrong of me to say, wasn't it?” Audra looks genuinely remorseful, but I don't give two shits. I'm not here to impress her. I'm here because I need to know my kid's mom so we'll be able to raise her together.

  “It doesn't matter. How about we keep our talk limited to things concerning the baby and not what kind of people we are?”

  “Yeah, okay,” she mutters.

  We're silent as she finishes her bowl. She sets it on the table and leans back, getting comfortable. I don't think I can open my mouth yet, so I keep quiet. Audra seems to know this because she stays quiet too. When I finally feel ready, I turn to look and find Audra asleep.

  Ugh, great.

  Audra's killing me! She needs to stop falling asleep on me. Her hand moves to her belly, and I wonder if the baby is moving. Gingerly, I place my hand near hers and feel a kick. Moving a little closer, I lean down to whisper.

  “Hey, baby girl.” I glance at Audra, but she hasn't stirred. “How are you doing? Moving around a lot these days, huh? Your momma might want you to nap too.” There's more movement under my hand, and I'm amazed. Part of me feels crazy for talking to her belly, but I can't seem to stop either. “In case you didn't know, I'm your daddy,” I continue, talking softly. “Don't listen to all this nonsense your momma is saying either. I wouldn't leave her or you, baby girl. She doesn't know yet that I'm a decent guy. Don't worry. I'll prove it.”