by A. S. Oren
At the end of the tunnel, it forks off into three more. Bullock takes the one on the right. Lanterns still line the walls, but between each one, large alcoves go deep into the earth. Men of different ages sit inside each one; minimal belongings scattered around them.
The tunnel goes on for a while, sometimes deviating into smaller ones with more alcoves. We go all the way back to a dead end. The largest alcove stands here. Two oil lanterns illuminate it. A man with long black hair and a beard, sits cross legged on the floor, an old leather book in his hands.
He holds up one finger to us. His eyes move over the page, and he turns it. With a sigh, he closes the book and lifts his head to peer at us. “Hello, Son. Good to see you didn’t die.” With a grunt, he stands, and his knees crack. “Who have you brought into Paradise?”
“Members of the Vox and the female shifter. She needs to be cured by the Sea Witch. The Head Governor had her mind warped.”
The man motions for Bullock to move aside. He steps forward to look at me. “I never thought I would live to see the day that the female shifter stood in front of me.”
“You look like Baron Devow,” Dante says from straight behind me.
The man gives a deep laugh before resting his eyes on Dante. “I haven’t heard that name in at least a decade. I was Baron Devow, in another life.”
“Why did you leave the Vox? They could have helped you stay away from a life like this.”
“There are things you obviously do not know about the Vox then, boy. Not everything uttered within the rules is sacred. Best to learn that now. Derren, take your group to the family station. You can stay there for a night’s rest. The young man will need rest in order for that scale’s powers to take full effect. Rest then leave.”
Bullock nods and turns to move through the group to lead us. “Derren.” He stops walking. “Keep fighting.”
Dream
Wide and circular, the family station reminds me of a small warehouse.
‘How would you know what a warehouse looks like if you have never been in one? At least, none of your imagined memories places you in one.’
‘I remember being in one with some old guy, when I was a little girl. I don’t know why I was there in the first place.’
‘That’s because that memory is one of mine. I was there with Edgar, my father.’
I shake my head. The voice is wrong. I’m not remembering someone else’s memories. Cots and makeshift bunk alcoves line the floors and walls. Oil lanterns hang from the ceiling and line the edge of the walls. Boys of all ages run around or sit in groups. A handful of women are scattered throughout the room—knitting or chatting. The men do much of the same, but there’s less of them than I thought there would be. This is an outcast refuge, after all.
Some of the kids stop to stare at us, or more specifically me. Bullock leads us across the vast room to the very back where old cots and alcoves sit.
My stomach rumbles, but I doubt we will be getting food anytime soon. This place doesn’t exactly scream ‘an abundance of food.’
“We can get food after we sleep. I don’t think Mathis has much more strength left in him.”
How does he know I’m hungry?
‘The entire room could hear our stomach.’
Bullock pulls me closer to him and slices downwards with his hand, following the center line on my torso. I can move again, but my arms remain bent. I try to move them, the elbows are locked into place. Bullock places his hands on them. A strange, kind of cool warmth moves through my arms, and they fall to my side. Relief.
Without warning, he picks me up by my sides and places me in one of the upper alcove bunks. The flat mattress has more cushion to it than I thought it would.
“Lie down,” he says.
I do it without thinking.
‘Not that I want us to escape, but that was dumb on your part. I’m sure he has some way of keeping us in here.’
Sure enough, Bullock’s hand moves across the opening of the alcove. “You’re sealed in now. You won’t be able to get down from there unless I let you out, so there’s no chance of you running while we are also asleep.”
I press my hand against the barrier, it’s solid; Dante moves to the bunk below me, and the others scatter throughout the room. “We are going to get you fixed, Fire. I promise.”
‘I know you will.’
I roll over onto my side, my back turned towards the opening of the alcove. I’m not crazy, and I’m not broken. I close my eyes, my mind gives into my need for sleep.
~*~*~*~
I open my eyes. The outside surrounds me. The scent of apples rides on the air and large red apple trees stand all around. Where am I? I’ve never been to a place like this.
“Well, it worked. I didn’t think it would.”
My head turns to look at a tree off to my left. I sit with my back pressed against the tree. It’s me, but not. My hair is the curly mess it usually is when I don’t tame it straight. I don’t have a hint of makeup on, and my clothes could have only been bought at a thrift store. I scrunch my nose up; I’ve never let myself look so horrid in my entire life. “I look so ugly,” I mutter.
My other self lifts an eyebrow and stands. She walks toward me. “I’m the original you, the one you have been hearing in your head all day. Wasn’t sure if I would be able to enter your dreams, but it worked. I feel so Dr. Who right now; it’s awesome.”
“You like that show? It’s so dumb.” I fold my arms across my chest.
The other me does the same. “I’d slap you, if I could.”
“Why is this happening to me?”
“Roseman has manipulated our mind and created you, giving you false memories and suppressing mine. He’s not your father, and he is not a good person either.”
The scenery changes. We stand in a small, old house. Should’ve been condemned a long time ago, by the looks of it. An old, wrinkled man sits at the head of a small rectangular table. In one hand, he holds a deep red apple, and in the other, a small paring knife. A nine year old me sits in the chair next to him.
“This is your real father and one of your real memories.” The other me goes to stand behind the old man. She reaches out to put her hand on his shoulder, but it moves right through him.
With precision, the old man starts to peel the apple. “You want ta put your thumb here and push down like this. Make sure tere is just the peel coming off. Don’t aim up, or you’ll cut your thumb. Just keep moving, and you’ll get it.”
He finishes peeling his apple, a long perfect peel sits in a coil in front of them. He places the skinned apple in a bowl of water and picks up a new one. He hands it to the child me along with the knife. I begin to learn how to peel the apple in one go.
I can’t shake the feeling that I do know the man. That I was close to him, but is it really something that happened to me, or is he part of my imagination, like she is?
The old house fades, and the Orchard surrounds us again. “How do I know you’re not the one with the fake memories?”
A finger goes to her chin. “I guess there’s no way for you to truly know, is there? The Sea Witch will help with figuring out who gets to stay and who goes.”
“I don’t want to be forced to leave.”
She rubs her neck. “I don’t think we have much of a choice in the matter. The guys are determined to have me back.”
I swallow hard. I know she speaks the truth, and that’s why I’m terrified.
“What I don’t understand is why my mind is so weak that I could let all of this,” she motions to the Orchard around us, “be pushed down. My soul is here. What made me, me is here. You have no real memories that make you, you.”
I search my mind trying to find one of my memories that could prove her wrong, but none come to mind. Does this mean I’m not real?
~*~*~*~
“Avalon, it’s time to get up,” Paden’s voice invades my head and my eyes open. My last thought still heavy in my mind.
Questioning Everyth
ing
I roll over just as Bullock removes the invisible barrier of air. I sit up and move to the edge of the alcove. Paden braces me, as I jump off. My hands linger on his broad chest, and I can’t help but wonder if all the memories I have with him are fake. He acts different with me, like my affection isn’t something he is used to. If I kissed him now, would he respond? I stand on my toes to test my theory, ready to see if he will bend down to meet me.
“Here,” Dante says, shoving a plate of something between us, I take it. Some type of meat, bread and cheese greets me. It’s nothing like the food I’m accustomed to. My nose turns up, but my stomach grumbles.
Dante has a shirt thrown over his shoulder, having not put it on yet. The golden scale on his side has become one with his skin, almost like a large tattoo.
“How am I supposed to eat this?” I ask, having not received a form of silverware.
‘You have silverware. Ten of them. Use your fingers.’
“Use your fingers,” Horace says from a spot on the floor near us.
‘Barbaric.’
‘Quit being such a drama queen and eat. Who knows when your next meal will be.’
I move to one of the walls and sit down. I sigh. I’ve never been reduced to such Neanderthal ways. Paden, Maverick and Dante come to sit with me. The tension between them is thicker than my hair when I haven’t had it treated.
I pick at the meat; the slime of the grease makes my skin crawl. I shove it into my mouth, trying not to think about how fatty it must be. I move onto the orange cheese and almost dried bread.
‘What is going to happen later? At the end of the day, will I still be the same person?’
‘That’s a very good question.’
“What’s going to happen later today?” I ask.
Dante clears his throat. “We will find the Sea Witch and get you fixed.”
My heart races. I swallow hard. I know there’s nothing I can say to convince them not to go through with this. That I don’t want to disappear, but I know they want their/ Avalon back. I don’t know what to believe, or who is right.
The others gather around, when I muster the courage to say what’s on my mind.
“If I’m not the true Avalon you know, like some other version, what will happen to me when we go to see this Sea Witch?”
“I don’t know,” Horace says .
“Don’t you remember what else is different with her?” Triton asks.
“No,” says Amr.
“Her scales, they were grey.”
“And?” Maverick asks.
“I don’t think Roseman only changed her memories. I think he added something/ to her.”
I wish he wouldn’t speak on my behalf, even if he may not have done what the Triton in my head did.
“Like what?” Dante asks.
“I don’t know, but something. This version is fake, but also too human to just be memories. ”
“Triton has a point,” Paden says. “Avalon, what is something you are sure of? Something that is undeniably true in your mind? Something you know you like or dislike with a passion?”
I could tell him that he is one of those things, but I cower and shrug. My normal confidence has disappeared. They don’t have the same memories as me, and I’m no longer the sane one here.
“If we could get her to realize her memories are false, then we will know something else was added to her. Then we can figure out how to remove it.”
“What if you are all right, and I am someone else? Are you really going to kill me to get your precious Avalon back?” I look away; I don’t want to see the answer in their eyes. Paden places his hand on my knee. I lock eyes with him. Does he remember? Is he the Paden I’ve come to love?
Screw it. I lean forward and crash my lips against his, before he will have the chance to see what I’m doing. He tenses before relaxing. The hot electricity I’ve always felt while kissing him rushes through me. There’s no denying that. With slight hesitation, he kisses me back. I smile into the kiss. Yes, this feels right.
‘You bitch! You stole my first kiss, and gave it to him of all people?’
‘Couldn’t have been with a better person. You can’t tell me you didn’t feel that.
“Well, shit, that was unexpected,” Lusk says.
Paden pulls away from me, but it was just getting good. “I’m sorry, but I want the Avalon I fell in love with.”
A thousand arrows strike me through the heart at once. I swallow hard, trying to keep myself from crying, but nothing will hold back the hot tears. My resolve is broken with Paden’s final rejection. I know that I can’t continue to be this way. He won’t be happy, and I won’t be happy in this alternate reality.
“I’ll go willingly.”
“Really?” Amr asks.
“Good,” Lusk says . He’s definitely different from the Lusk I know.
The others have finished eating. I long ago abandoned what’s left of my dry bread. I stand. “We should go then.”
Dante stands, runs a hand through his long ebony hair and sighs. “We have to wait for Bullock to get back. He went to go speak with his father, and he is the only one that knows how to get to the Sea Witch from here.”
I nod. Not knowing what else to say, I wipe the old tears off my cheeks. So much has happened in less than a day. Now, I’m facing the reality that I won’t be the same person by the end of it. Will I even realize the change, or will it all be forgotten like a strange dream?
‘I don’t think I will forget any of this. I won’t let myself.’
‘Well, at least one of us will remember.’
“I’m sorry,” Paden says. He touches my shoulder. My heart aches. I move away from him; I don’t think I can bear it.
“You can’t help who you fell in love with. I’m just not that girl.” I’m nothing like the version I met in my dream. Opposite ends of the spectrum.
“Everything will be okay,” Horace says from my right.
I nod again. For them it will be.
‘This is pretty selfless of you. I didn’t think you would have it in you.’
‘I’m being selfish. I don’t want to live in a world where Paden wants another girl, even if it’s only a different version of me. I’d rather go back to the other side of the mirror.’
Little boys play around us with balls, while the preteens sit with their mother’s reading text books. No girls are anywhere in sight.
‘You think it’s odd too, huh? Even here, with the Outcasts, there aren’t any girls. Would the curse even affect them, when they have been removed from the families and stripped of their powers?’
‘I never thought about it until now. I guess Dad, I mean Roseman, didn’t give me any memories of why I was unique with being the only girl. He gave me a hint, but didn’t explain it.’
‘I saw when he was forcing the new memories in. I still don’t see what his motive is for doing this to me. Did he really think he could change the guys as well, without them figuring it out before hand?’
‘I don’t know.’
“Time to go,” Bullock says, as he walks into the station. He looks to Dante. “You feeling up for a long walk?”
Dante grins and touches where the scale melds with his skin. “I haven’t felt this great in years. All I needed was a good sleep.”
Bullock fidgets with his glasses and gives a nod. “Let’s leave now. We don’t want to over stay our welcome here.”
‘That’s new. I haven’t seen him this fidgety before.’
The other’s get to their feet and we begin to make our way out of the family station and back into the long, dimly lit tunnels. It’s going to be a long walk.
The Witch’s Helper
The lantern’s ended a while back, and we’ve been walking non-stop for at least two hours. My legs wouldn’t mind a break right about now. At least there’s a wall I can hold onto.
‘I don’t understand why you can’t see in the dark. I can, and this is the same body. But our scale color is differ
ent too, so maybe that has something to do with it.’
‘They’re different in color?’
‘Yes. My scales are gold, but when you are in control, they are a dark grey.’
‘Gold? So that means the scale Dante has fused to his skin is yours?’
‘Yeah. I can’t believe that actually worked. Right before you took back over, he got hurt. I don’t know how I knew it would work. Gut instinct, I guess. When you go away, I will be back under the curse again. Roseman took my crystal, so now I will have to change at night. I have no idea how we will do that in New York. Not exactly a lot of places where a giant lizard can hide. Ever seen Godzilla?’
‘What does the curse do?’
‘It forces me to turn into my dragon form every night. It’s excruciating.’
‘If we are in in the same body, why don’t I have the same problem?’
‘That’s what I would like to know.’
We stop walking as we come to a dead end. Maybe we are taking a break, but why here of all places?
“Why did we stop?” Triton asks.
Bullock presses his hand against the wall in front of him. “We’re here.”
“I was expecting something more, like a shop, or at the least the Sea Witch,” Maverick says.
“This isn’t where she is. This is just the back entrance into her shop for people who don’t want to come in through the front. She runs a Chinese food restaurant as a cover.”
He puts his other hand to the wall now. Like a mirage, a simple wooden door shimmers into place and becomes solid. Opening the door, he reveals a red and gold room on the other side. The scent of herbs and food drift toward us. Bullock moves inside first. The guys have me go through second with them following in behind and circling me.
Except for us, there’s no one else to greet us. The magical door closes behind us with a soft click, and a bell rings throughout the room. “Just a minute!” Footsteps sound just outside the door. “Fuckin’ kid! This was my last clean shirt for the week.” A girl who can’t be that much older than me, opens the door. Her hair an ombre of pinks and purples in two braids, and her eyes a deep green. She wears a white, button down shirt—the sleeves pushed up, showing off her tattooed arms. The front of the shirt has some sort of fresh stain on it—and black slacks.
