And then she had the dream.
Garret came to her. He gathered her into the protection of his arms. She went eagerly, anxious. She would surely die if she lost the touch of him. It was as if she were coming home. Together they made love with frenzied abandon. Just moments before her fulfillment, she awoke.
Alex sat up abruptly, alone in the dark, sweltering room. The persistent hum of the fan was the only sound. She was breathing heavily, and her body was drenched in perspiration.
Dazed, grasping for some semblance of normalcy, Alex calmed herself and then laid back onto the damp comforter. She closed her eyes, and for the first time, she felt it.
Guilt.
She had never felt guilt for what had happened ten years ago. She believed what Grandma Sarah had told her on countless occasions; things happen for a reason. Even our mistakes teach us lessons.
Yet, she had never thought of it as a mistake. It was the inevitable, an episode in her life that taught her more about herself than any other single experience. Guilt had no place. Alex had not allowed herself to think about Garret since he went away, since she begged him to leave. It had not been easy at first. Alex had so successfully trained her mind to keep memories of Garret at bay, even after Ryan’s death. Now the only time she thought about him was when she saw his brother, Russell. Yet, she never asked Russell about Garret.
Instantly she understood her guilt. She still had feelings for Garret Coulson.
Chapter 7
Summer was winding down. The dining room had been closed for nearly forty minutes when Alexandra joined a few of her employees at the bar. It had been a fairly brisk evening, yet died out quickly. Since summer began, Adam worked as a busboy. Hoping to say goodbye to her son before he left on a late date, Alex decided to stick around.
“What can I get ya’, Alex?” Taylor smiled as he laid a fresh cocktail napkin on the oak bar top before his employer.
“Margarita,” she answered and then glanced at the other occupants sitting at the bar.
Rosa sat to Alex’s right. Feisty aptly described the waitress, as the woman was never afraid to say what was on her mind. The Latino woman stood several inches over five feet, a petite thing, yet carried herself as if she could flatten you if necessary. She was a divorced woman in her mid-thirties with a small daughter. Although she was not a June Cleaver type of mom, she loved her kid. She also loved men.
There was an empty bar stool next to Rosa. Steve sat next to it. He was a burly, sandy-haired man. He reminded Alex of a beach bum. Not only was he the best waiter ever to work at the Lucky Lady, he was also the most laid back. Nothing rattled him. He also loved men.
Then there was Taylor. The only one of the three that Alex could honestly say did not love men. He was tall, lean, and solid with incredible deep blue eyes. He was slick, oozed sex appeal, and was a little dangerous. However, he did not scare Alex. She loved watching him in action—and teasing him about it.
Taylor sat the frosty, frozen margarita before Alex.
“I thought that little blonde was going to carry you off,” Alex teased Taylor. He shrugged and smiled crookedly, then began washing dirty glasses in the bar sink. Just an hour earlier, the mentioned woman had made it obvious to everyone that she wanted to take the handsome bartender home with her.
“God, that broad was in heat!” Rosa laughed, her brown eyes twinkled in merriment.
Taylor chuckled. He wasn’t offended at the comment.
“I do believe she was willing to have your children,” Alex said.
Steve agreed.
“Well, if that had been her intention, she’d be sorely disappointed.” Taylor placed the clean, wet glasses on a small shelf behind the bar.
“You never know, Taylor,” Alex teased. “Someday one of your ladies just might get you to marry and settle down.”
Taylor laughed at Alex’s suggestion, then said, “That’s exactly why I had a vasectomy!”
“You what?” Alex laughed in disbelief. “You haven’t even been married.”
“Why in the world would I want kids anymore as a single person than I would being married?” Taylor stood directly in front of Alex; only the bar top separated them. Taylor placed his hands on the bar and leaned forward. He smiled mischievously into Alex’s face.
“Hadn’t ever thought of it that way.” Alex pondered for a moment and then asked abruptly, “Did you really have a vasectomy?”
“Yes, he did,” Rosa answered with a disgusted nod. “Stupid thing to do. Someday you might actually want a family. It was stupid.”
Taylor only shrugged absently, then Steve came to his defense. “I think it was sensible of Taylor. Hell, he’s almost forty. If he hasn’t decided to start a family by this time, he sure as hell isn’t going to in the future. Think of all the unwanted pregnancies he’s prevented.”
“I’m in my early thirties!” Taylor growled, much more offended at Steve’s exaggeration of his age than the inference to his moral conduct. At that moment, Adam walked into the bar.
Adam had grown several inches taller than his father, nearly reaching six feet. He was lankier than Ryan had been, yet the face was unmistakably the father’s. He had reddish-brown hair, a brief spattering of freckles, an impish give-’em-hell grin, and friendly eyes. He was a good-looking boy, though not gorgeous, as was Taylor.
He wore an oversized T-shirt and ill-fitting baggy jeans. Alex hated the style but reminded herself of the hideous clothes she’d worn as a teenager. She took a special disliking to his haircut. The bottom half of the back of his head was shaved closely, while the top part was a mop of reddish curls. Again, she reserved comment, yet was grateful that he normally wore a baseball cap.
He was just placing his black baseball cap on his head and adjusting it as he walked to his mother’s side. Adam placed a kiss on her cheek. Both Rosa and Steve raised a curious brow at the gesture and exchanged quiet, knowing glances.
“See you, Mom.” Adam smiled.
“Where’re you off to?” Alex looked up into her son’s face, astonished he was the same little sprite who had once crawled up onto her lap for hugs. Next year, he would be a senior. Where had the time gone?
“I’ve a date with Kimmy.”
“Again?” This time Alex raised her brows. “Is this serious?” Adam never dated a girl for more than two weeks.
Adam scowled, rolling his eyes in aggravation, incredibly annoyed at her comment. “Whatever,” he scoffed impatiently and walked off without so much as looking back or saying goodbye.
“He has no sense of humor,” Alex observed wryly after Adam left the building.
“You sure know how to piss him off.” Steve chuckled.
“It’s a mother’s duty,” Alex assured him.
“So, who’s this Kimmy?” Rosa asked.
“Cute thing. Kind of innocent and sweet looking,” Alex answered. “I think she’s crazy about Adam.”
“Hope he’s using condoms,” Taylor voiced.
“Shut up, Taylor,” Alex responded, not truly annoyed. Her son’s sex life was the last thing she wanted to consider at this time.
“Taylor’s right. Maybe we should talk to him,” Steve offered.
“God, you guys!” Alex protested.
“So how long have they been dating?” Rosa sipped her drink and looked up at Alex. Boy, Alex is more naïve than I thought if she thinks that good-looking, obviously healthy son of hers is still a virgin.
“Gee, about a month or so,” Alex answered. Did he start dating her right after Ryan’s death? She couldn’t recall.
“Hey, Taylor, was that Russell Coulson I saw in the bar tonight?” Steve abruptly changed the subject.
“Sure was,” Taylor said with a smirk, giving both Rosa and Steve a telling glance.
“He sure has been coming in here a lot lately.” This time it was Rosa’s turn to smirk.
Alex looked at her three employees. They were obviously sharing some secret.
“Give, you guys. Out with it,” Alex pr
odded.
“Shit, Alex, are you so dense?” Rosa laughed.
“I guess so.” Alex shook her head in annoyance. She was clueless.
“Alex,” Steve patiently explained while Taylor grinned, looking at Alex as if she was just a bit daft, “in the past month, Russell Coulson has become a regular customer.”
“I don’t think he used to come in here more than twice a month,” Rosa interrupted, “and it was always business lunches and dinners.”
“He’s been here at least three times this week,” Steve continued, “always alone.”
“Your point?” Alex was expressionless.
“He’s hot for you, baby.” Taylor grinned wickedly.
Both Steve and Rosa roared in laughter.
“I was thinking of taking the fire hose to him,” Steve added.
Rosa nodded in agreement, almost choking on her drink.
Now it was Alexandra’s turn to laugh. “Trust me, children,” she said with mock seriousness, “Russell Coulson has no designs on me.”
“And if he does, go for it,” Rosa suggested. “He’s only the richest man in town, good looking, and he’s obviously interested in you.”
“Whatever Russell’s motives are for coming to the Lucky Lady, it isn’t to seduce me.” With that assertion, Alex decided to call it a night. Yet, she quietly wondered, Just what was his motive?
After Alex had been gone for thirty minutes, the topic of Russell Coulson was once again discussed at the bar.
“He always asks how Alex is doing when he comes in,” Taylor told Rosa and Steve as he leaned against the bar top.
“Did you notice how Russell greeted Alex at the funeral?” Rosa asked. “It was as if they were long lost friends. I had no idea they were that close.”
“I never realized how many people Alex knew until Ryan’s funeral.” Steve actually meant rich people, powerful people, people of social standing. Although the Lucky Lady Restaurant and Saloon was considered the best dinner house in town and enjoyed the patronage of everyone on the A-list, Ryan and Alex never socialized with those in power. Steve simply assumed that Alex was insecure, unaware of the restaurant’s superb reputation. He felt the prestigious restaurateur was overlooking a prime opportunity to climb the social ladder. At the funeral service, he was surprised by the fact that Alex was not only acquainted with those on the A-list but knew them personally.
“If Russell was once such a good friend of Ryan’s, what do you think really happened to the relationship?” Rosa pondered the possibilities.
“By the looks of Russell’s sudden interest in Alex, I wouldn’t be surprised if he once came onto her,” Taylor offered, confident he had hit the mark.
“I don’t know. She was pretty adamant about Russell not being interested.” Steve felt Alex’s assertion was based on more that her naïveté.
“Russell’s divorced, isn’t he?” Rosa asked thoughtfully.
“I think he got divorced about a year or so ago. Not sure,” Steve answered.
“Well, guys,” Rosa said smugly, “our Alex could do worse.”
Chapter 8
Alexandra stood on her front porch. She wore a dark blue cotton sundress. It fell loosely on her five-foot-eight frame, as she had lost considerable weight in the last few months. Her brown, shoulder-length hair fell straight and thick, parted to one side.
She slipped the gold-colored key into the doorknob. Alex was surprised to find it already unlocked. Wearing a frown, she grasped the knob, wiggled it hesitantly, and opened the front door.
It was a late summer afternoon. Alex was usually at work during this time, but a migraine headache had sent her home. Carrying her leather purse in one hand and clutching her key ring in the other, she reluctantly entered the house. She could hear low voices in the kitchen.
Moving toward the voices, she came face to face with Adam, who was embracing his girlfriend, Kimmy. Obviously startled by his mother’s appearance, Adam immediately released his hold. The young girl blushed and looked to the floor.
“Hi, Mom,” Adam greeted cockily. Alex’s son was fully aware of the rules: no girls were allowed at the house when Alex was not home. Adam chose to ignore the fact that he was blatantly breaking house rules.
“Hello, Mrs. Keller,” Kimmy timidly greeted.
“Hello, Kimmy. Adam, I need to speak with you in my room.” Alexandra contained her anger, yet she was furious.
“What’s wrong, Mom?” Adam continued to keep up the charade of innocence. Alex did not answer her son. After glaring angrily at Adam, she tossed her purse on a chair, slapped her keys onto the kitchen counter, and marched to her bedroom.
“What’s wrong, Mom?” Adam asked a second time as he entered his mother’s bedroom. His tone was defensive. “What’s your problem? God, you embarrassed me in there!”
“You know the rules,” Alex fumed, annoyed that Adam was feigning innocence. She sat on the edge of her king-sized bed, tapping her feet in irritation.
“What rule?”
“You know you aren’t supposed to have girls here when I’m not home,” she answered impatiently, annoyed that he forced her to explain what he already knew.
“We weren’t doing anything.” He did not show an inch of submission. Instead, he continued to present himself as if he were the injured party.
“That’s the rule, Adam. I’m not a happy camper.”
“God, what do you think, we’re gonna have an orgy?” he retorted sassily.
“Don’t take that attitude with me. You know the rules.”
“You don’t even trust me! Next year, I’ll be able to move out!” he snapped.
“Well, that’s next year. If this happens again, you’re losing your car.”
Adam glared at his mother angrily and stomped out of the room. Alex clutched her head, which was already throbbing from the migraine, and she collapsed on the bed. She did not need this. She simply did not need this.
After a few moments, she stumbled into her bathroom, took three aspirins, stripped off her clothes, and slipped into bed.
The next morning, Alex sat alone at the kitchen table and contemplated the previous day. The awareness that Adam had not once checked on her welfare or even bothered asking why she had come home early and retreated to bed made her feel a little more than neglected. She felt as if she was living alone.
Fortunately, she had been so busy at work, that the loneliness of home was no longer dominating her thoughts, except for moments like this.
With Ryan gone, the responsibilities of his duties fell on her shoulders. At first, both Jimmy and Tommy pitched in. Alex soon realized they had their own lives, and the Lucky Lady was her responsibility. Some of Ryan’s duties she delegated to other employees and some she took on herself. If nothing else, it made her days fuller and kept her mind occupied.
Chapter 9
Wearing her full-length robe, Alexandra left the kitchen and walked to her bedroom. Once in the room, she went to the walk-in closet in search of an outfit. Several weeks earlier, her sister, Kate, had insisted Alexandra go clothes shopping. Most of her clothes had become baggy and ill fitting. Tired of the sporty walking shorts and blouse ensembles that were Alex’s style, she sought out sundresses.
In the past, she found it difficult to find flattering sundresses in her size fourteen. Now that she was down to a size ten, she easily slipped into fitted sundresses, which fell loosely and were non-binding. Not only were they flattering and appropriate for her position as manager of the Lucky Lady, they were comfortable.
Pulling a lavender floral print sundress from its hanger, Alex dropped her robe onto the floor and stepped into the dress. As she zipped up the back of the garment, the phone in her bedroom began to ring. With one hand pulling the last half of the zipper securely closed, she kicked her robe to one side and ran to pick up the phone.
“Hello,” Alex answered breathlessly.
“Hi, Alex. How ya’ feeling this morning?” She recognized Rosa’s voice.
“Fine
. I crashed when I came home. After about six aspirins, I survived.”
“Are you going to feel up to going today?” Alex understood. The prior week Rosa, Kate, and Alex had agreed to go to a morning movie, followed by lunch—lunch at a restaurant other than the Lucky Lady.
“Actually, I was looking forward to it.”
“Great, see you at the show.”
Responsibilities of marriage, motherhood, and business prevented Alexandra from cultivating or keeping in touch with girlfriends. If she had free time, she usually visited with her mother or Kate. Occasionally, she would take in a show with Rosa or Steve. She never considered her narrow social circle until Ryan’s absence.
Kate picked up Alexandra, and the two sisters met Rosa at the theater. After the matinee, the three women decided on having lunch at a restaurant popular with the local business community. They sat in a dimly lit booth, Alexandra and Rosa on one side, Kate on the opposite.
One year younger than her sister, Kate looked enough like Alexandra, aside from her weight and height, to pass as her twin. She was several inches shorter than Alex was and had always been willowy thin. Since Alex’s considerable weight loss, she looked even more like her sibling.
Beyond outward physical appearances, the sisters were so different in character it was easy to suspect that perhaps they were not really sisters after all. Unlike her siblings and parents, Kate was ungifted in mathematics, and she found it difficult to memorize her multiplication table. She did not find this a great inconvenience, for she could not imagine why she would need to fill her head with such nonsense when there were always pocket calculators close at hand.
Kate was the Chamberlains’ artist and free spirit. She wore free flowing peasant skirts, loose-fitting, gypsy-styled blouses, fringed vests and handcrafted jewelry. There always seemed to be some feather or other ornament casually tucked into the long, brown strands of her hair. Tommy called her the misplaced hippie. Their mother said it was a good thing she looked so much like Alex, or she might suspect they had switched babies at the hospital. All of this was said in good humor, for in spite of the differences, they were an extremely close family.
Coulson's Lessons Page 4
