“Garret doesn’t want to move from Coulson.”
“But he has to leave! If Alex is to make her marriage work, she needs to be away from Garret.”
“So let Alex move!” Russell found himself growing angry.
“Damn it, Russy, she can’t! What is she to tell Ryan? Sell your restaurant and leave town? No, it’s not fair. Your brother must share the blame for this situation. I don’t think it’s fair for Ryan and Adam to suffer. If anything, I mostly blame your brother!” she snapped. “I bet this isn’t his first affair!”
Russell could not deny the truth in Kate’s words. Had Garret intentionally seduced Alexandra? His loyalties were torn between his brother and his one-time best friend.
“I can’t promise Garret will even agree to go to Chicago.”
“Maybe he won’t.”
“Alicia will be madder than hell if we tell her Garret will be going to Chicago instead of us.”
Surprisingly, he smiled when he said this. Kate often wondered about Russell’s childless marriage. She had only met his wife, Alicia, once, and Kate could never understand why he had married her.
They sat in silence for a few minutes.
“Do you think Garret will move to Chicago?”
“I really don’t know, Kate.”
“Alex isn’t like me, Russell. We never were alike,” Kate wistfully noted. “Alex was always planning her future. She always knew where she was going.”
“And you?”
“I guess I’ve always felt a little like a feather, floating along wherever the breeze will take me.”
“Are you saying you’re a feather brain?” Russell teased gently.
“Maybe.” Kate laughed. Then she grew serious again. “What Alex is doing right now reminds me of something I might do. And it scares the hell out of me, because I’ve always counted on Alex to do the right thing.”
“What’s the right thing?” he asked softly.
“It sure the hell isn’t having an affair!”
“Is that what’s bothering you the most? Your altered image of your big sister?”
“Not really. I love Alex. She’s hurting. And she’s on the brink of bringing her entire life tumbling down in ruins. If she can’t find the strength to end this, then I have to help her find it. And you have to help your brother. It isn’t good for him, either, if he really loves her.”
“I believe he does.”
“Don’t you see, Russell? if Ryan finds out or if Alex were to decide to leave him, she would never forgive herself for tearing apart Adam’s secure world. I don’t think she could ever really forgive herself for hurting Ryan.”
Russell leaned across the table and placed his hands over Kate’s. “I’ll do what I can, Kate. I promise.”
Chapter 28
Garret stood at his office window, absently gazing through the glass pane. It was Monday morning, and he hadn’t seen Alexandra since her hasty exit from the cabin on the previous Thursday.
After he had pried Alexandra from her hiding place in the bathroom, she had said virtually nothing. Instead, she’d silently thrown on her clothes and fled from the cabin, and from Garret.
What began as one of the sweetest mornings of his life had ended in utter disaster. The sickening sensation Garret experienced was a constant reminder of the uncertain future of his relationship with Alex. Perhaps he should profess his love, ask her to leave Ryan and marry him. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, he didn’t want to ask. He wanted her to come to him on her own.
Ryan—Garret didn’t like to think about Ryan Keller. He didn’t like to think of Alexandra going home to him each night, sharing his bed, sharing his life, sharing his future. Most of the time, Garret successfully blocked Ryan Keller from his conscious thought. Garret tricked his mind into believing that Alexandra’s life didn’t include another man.
Since Russell’s unwelcome visit, Garret could no longer fool himself. Thoughts of Ryan and Alexandra together tormented him continually.
During his entire personal life, Garret Coulson made all of the wrong choices. He married two women out of spite, and he fell in love with another man’s wife.
“Mr. Coulson?”
The sound of Emily’s voice broke Garret’s concentration. He hadn’t heard her entering the room. He turned from the window and faced Emily who stood just inside the office door.
“Yes, Emily?”
“There is a Ms. Chamberlain to see you. She doesn’t have an appointment, but she insisted, saying she’s certain you’ll see her.”
“Ms. Chamberlain?” It couldn’t be Alex. Emily knew Alex as Alexandra Keller.
“Kate Chamberlain,” a voice behind Emily answered the question. Annoyed, Emily turned and faced Kate, who had just walked into the office uninvited. Emily began to protest, about to tell Ms. Chamberlain to please wait in the outer office. Garret stopped her.
“It’s all right, Emily. Come on in, Kate.”
Emily muttered under her breath and left the office, closing the door behind her. Garret was amazed at Kate’s likeness to Alexandra. Yet, she was much thinner, a little too thin. She wore a hideously unflattering tent dress, and for a moment, Garret imagined she would look quite natural selling flowers on the corner or soliciting members for some off-beat cult. Yet, this was Alex’s little sister, and he knew how close they were. Did Kate know about his relationship with her sister? Her next words answered his question.
“I have a message for you from Alexandra.” Kate stepped toward him as she spoke, her eyes warily studying his every move.
“And?”
“She wants to know if you could possibly meet her at the cabin tomorrow morning. At nine.”
So, she knew. Maybe not everything, but she knew something.
“I’ll be there,” he promised. Kate turned to leave the room, obviously saying all she had come to say, when Garret stopped her.
“Kate.”
She paused and turned to face him.
“How is Alex?” he asked softly, his eyes fixed on Kate.
Her heart went out to Garret when she saw the pain in his sad blue eyes. “She’s hurting, confused. Trying to get her life together.”
Garret simply nodded, looking as if he might cry. Kate smiled weakly and turned to leave the room. As she reached for the doorknob, she paused and turned one last time.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, then turned and left the office.
“Me, too,” he answered to the empty room minutes after Kate made her exit.
Garret was waiting for Alexandra when she pulled her car into the cabin’s garage on Tuesday morning. In his heart, he knew she had come to say goodbye—or at least try to say goodbye. Garret smiled to himself, grateful for Alex’s inability to stay away from him. Yet, he had the sinking feeling that the exposure created by Russell and Kate’s recent knowledge of the affair would, in some way, force Alexandra to choose a decisive path. He only wished she would choose him.
In silence, Alexandra and Garret walked into the cabin. Alex noticed the chessboard, which had been so carelessly strewn across the room during last Thursday’s lovemaking, was tossed into a forgotten heap on the floor, against the wall. Garret turned to Alexandra and reached for her. She held out her hand in protest, halting the embrace. Her sad hazel eyes looked pleadingly into his face.
“Garret, we need to talk.” Her voice was weary.
“Okay.” He tentatively reached for her hand, then gently captured it in his and led her to the couch where they sat side by side. His eyes never once left her face. Her eyes fixed on the carpet, as if she were concentrating on capturing just the right words.
“Garret, we never talk. Not really.” She glanced briefly up into his face, as if to reassure herself of his attention. Then she looked back to the floor.
“We’ve never talked about you and me. We’ve never talked about me and Ryan,” she whispered.
Her words knocked him in the stomach. He felt sick. He didn’t want to hear this. He simply wanted to h
old Alexandra, whisper kisses across her brow and make love with her until nothing existed in this world but the two of them.
“Garret.” She looked into his eyes. God, he looks so sad. “I need you to know that I have only been with two men in my entire life.” She wanted to say she had never been unfaithful with another man. That Garret was special. Yet, using the term unfaithful somehow cheapened what they shared. She couldn’t bring herself to say the word.
Lifting his fingertips to her face, he lightly brushed her chin. Her eyes filled with tears.
“This is so hard for me to explain. I need you to understand.” Her words were already breaking his heart. He knew she was trying to say goodbye.
“Garret, I love Ryan. I used to think we had a very good marriage. We have a son to think about.”
Her words were killing Garret—words his heart knew but had chosen to ignore.
“I thought my life was pretty well thought out,” she continued to explain. “Everything seemed so simple. I knew where I was going, what I wanted. And then I met you. It caught me completely off guard. Maybe if I knew what was about to happen, perhaps I could have stopped it.”
“Stopped what, Alex?” he whispered.
“Stopped from falling in love with you.”
Garret realized what she was saying. She was in love with him. He always knew, yet now that she was saying it, it didn’t make him feel any better, for he knew she was about to say goodbye. And then she began to cry.
Alexandra allowed Garret to gather her into the comfort of his arms. She cried bitterly as he held her securely, rocking her gently as if she were a child.
“Garret, please help me. Please. I can’t go on like this. We have to break this up. It’s not fair to Ryan or Adam.”
What about us? he thought silently. When he tilted her chin upward and looked into her sad eyes, filled with pain and tears, his heart shattered into a million pieces.
“I’m sorry I don’t have the strength to end this on my own. I’ve tried.” She buried her face in his chest, unable to look into his eyes and witness his pain. Garret’s own tears fell silently, unseen by Alex.
“I know Coulson Enterprises was going to send Russell to Chicago. Can’t you go, Garret? Please. Just for a while. Give us some distance to put our lives back together.” To put my marriage back together.
In his entire life, Garret Coulson had never considered putting anyone’s happiness or welfare before his own, until now. Without hesitation, he knew he would give his life for Alexandra’s. He could endure his own pain. He could not endure hers. The realization of the extent of his love for this woman astounded him.
“I’ll leave, Alex,” his voice whispered in her ear.
Alex removed herself from his embrace. Standing by his side, she looked down at Garret, who remained on the couch. She reached her hands to his. He was silent, watching, wondering what she was going to do or say. Would she simply turn and walk out of his life? Alexandra wasn’t that strong. She would never be that strong where Garret was concerned. Holding his hand gently, she turned and led Garret into the bedroom.
Alexandra’s hands reached up and began to unbutton Garret’s shirt, beginning at his neckline and moving downward. He stood very still and said nothing. Nor did he move to touch Alexandra. When her hands unfastened the last button, her lips touched the hollow of his neck, kissing it lovingly then moved to the tender skin below his ear. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.
Slipping her hands beneath the fabric, her palms caressed the soft masculine hair covering his chest. Moving her hands upward, toward his shoulders, she slowly removed his shirt, allowing it to fall onto the carpet. His blue eyes continued to watch her, yet he did not move.
With trembling hands, she sought the top button of his denims. Fumbling with the stubborn garment, she was unable to unfasten the button. Garret smiled slightly then moved his hands to hers and assisted in the unbuttoning. Her eyes flashed up to his. They stood, frozen for a moment. Garret’s hand reached out and gently caressed the side of her face. He leaned toward hers, resting his brow against her forehead.
“I love you, Alex,” he whispered wearily, resigned to their inevitable separation.
“I know.” Alex’s voice trembled.
Garret tenderly kissed the top of Alex’s head, and then his hands moved to unbutton her blouse, sending it tumbling to the floor with his own shirt. He quickly unfastened the bra, slipping it off as he had the blouse. His palms traveled her skin, memorizing the feel of her back, her full breasts, the hardness of her nipples. As his hands greedily took in every inch of Alexandra’s bareness, Garret looked into her face and saw the tears spilling down her cheeks. His need for Alexandra was unbearable; he was certain it was an ache he would feel until his dying day.
Garret removed his denims and Alex removed her own pants. Completely nude, Garret sat on the edge of the bed. Alexandra stood before him, wearing only her lacy panties. His palms went to embrace her hips, pulling her to him. Alexandra stood between his legs. Garret softly kissed the skin bordering the flimsy pair of undergarments. Alexandra closed her eyes and shuddered. She stood perfectly still, save for her hands, which rested on Garret’s shoulders, steadying herself. Ever so gently, Garret pushed down the thin garment, continually kissing the exposed skin. As his hands pulled her panties downward, his lips followed, until his mouth found the soft curls.
Garret pulled Alexandra onto the bed. Her arms wrapped possessively around his neck. She pulled him to her with such urgency, such hunger. In response Garret’s mouth claimed hers in a passionate plea.
Unleashed, uninhibited, primal—their lovemaking held nothing back, each greedy for all that was offered and demanding more. What they shared that Tuesday morning was desperate, passionate, and bitterly sad. When Alexandra saw Garret’s tears, the furor of her lovemaking brought Garret’s need slamming into her in violent urgency. Together they forgot about condoms and reality. Garret buried his desire deep inside Alexandra, unable to control his release, which filled her with his warmth. She trembled in her own release, holding him tightly inside, never wanting to let go.
They loved, they cried. They said goodbye.
Chapter 29
Garret Coulson left town the next morning. It was the big news at the Chamber of Commerce meeting, leading many members to believe they planned the transfer for some time, which explained why Russell had replaced his brother as Coulson Enterprises’ representative.
Emily was furious. She felt professionally slighted and insulted Garret did not inform her of the move earlier. They transferred her to another office, without an offer to relocate to Chicago, which made her livid. What she didn’t know was that Garret wanted no one connected with Coulson to come to Chicago with him.
Unbelievably, Alicia’s anger over the move was even greater than Emily’s wrath. Since Russell had never wanted to relocate in the first place, he viewed his wife’s thwarted plans as his first assertion of what he wanted.
Alexandra received the news in stunned silence. Garret had told her he would leave. She just never expected him to leave the next day. She was at the Chamber of Commerce meeting when she found out.
Had she been able to come up with a good excuse to miss the meeting, Alexandra would have preferred to stay in bed. She wasn’t especially creative that morning, and Ryan expected her to attend. When she arrived, she wasn’t surprised to see Russell in Garret’s place. Since the second time she had attempted to break off with Garret, Russell had taken his brother’s position on the board. When they resumed their affair, Garret would often show up at the meetings.
She sat alone, avoiding conversations. The president of the Chamber announced, during the opening of the meeting, Garret’s move to Chicago. No one noticed her stricken expression when she heard the news—no one except Russell. He sat quietly at his seat, observing his brother’s lover, the wife of his one-time best friend.
During the entire meeting, Alexandra was distracted. Her head ached, and she wanted
to go somewhere and hide. She wished she had never heard of the Coulson Chamber of Commerce. The instant the meeting adjourned, Alex grabbed her notebook and purse and raced out the door. She had just reached her car and was attempting to unlock it in haste when she heard Russell call her name. She froze. She wanted to throw up.
“Alex, please. Wait up a minute.”
Alex stood by her car, refusing to look up at Russell until he was at her side.
“Alex,” he whispered softly. His hand reached out and touched her arm. “Are you okay?” She looked up into his eyes and he had his answer. Hell no, she wasn’t okay. She said nothing.
“Alex, I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I wanted to catch you before the meeting.”
“I asked him to leave,” she said softly.
He already knew that. Yet, he imagined that she had not expected him to leave so abruptly, and that is what he wanted to prepare her for.
“I know, Alex. I’m sorry.” Never in Russell’s entire life had he felt so incredibly inadequate. He wanted to find the right words, yet there were none. “It’s for the best, Alex,” he said lamely.
She smiled sadly, got into her car, and drove home.
One month after Garret left for Chicago, Alexandra decided to talk to Ryan. During the weeks since Garret’s departure, she had attempted to get her life in order. It wasn’t easy. If she spotted a red Jeep on the street, her heart raced. She kept expecting to see Garret around town, secretly hoping that he would be as weak as she had been and return.
Then she became Suzie Homemaker and Super Mom. By the end of the month, her house was cleaner than it had ever been, and Adam was being suffocated with quality time. Ryan continued as he had during the last few years. He worked long hours and unknowingly denied Alexandra what she needed.
Ryan had just returned home after taking Adam to school. He was gathering his briefcase and several invoices he had left in the kitchen when Alex came into the room. Each day, he had been leaving for work earlier and earlier.
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