“We’ve been through a lot today, but having the peace, the assurance—”
“I have that.” Her words were abrupt. “Thank you for answering my questions, but you’ve said enough.” Her downcast eyes didn’t meet his.
Daniel felt inadequate. Had he failed to say the right words? He prayed that she would give him another chance. If she’d allow it, they could talk about important matters, matters that reached to the heart of who they were and what God had in store for them.
“Let’s go home,” he said. “It’s getting late—”
“You said I could stay. Daisy has you and Caroline, but Bradley doesn’t have anyone.”
Daniel felt his strength sapped. Talking about their future together was not going to happen. As far as Louisa was concerned, her future resided with the deathly ill young man in the room behind them. Not with Daniel.
Chapter Twenty-Two
She’d worn her new dress today, sewn from the material she’d purchased at Darlington. Bradley had felt good enough to notice it when she went to visit him, but Daniel hadn’t mentioned it at all.
Now, in the cavernous second story of the commissary building, Louisa played the piano by rote as the girls practiced, and tried not to look as melancholy as she felt. Every day they ducked between buildings, heard scattered gunfire in the distance, saw mounted figures on the crest of the far-off horizon, but nothing came of it. The refugees prayed anxiously, the troopers were excitable, and the waiting put a strain on a person.
Daniel was right to give the girls this task. They needed a diversion. So did Louisa, because without a doubt, Daniel was avoiding her. Now that Daisy was tearing around the fort at full strength again, Louisa had hoped he would forgive her. And maybe he had, but the sight of her in the parlor was enough to send him darting up the stairs to his room for the whole of the evening. Certainly, he’d do more of that religious talk if she gave him the opportunity, but even the thought of the decision before her was terrifying.
Confess everything? She couldn’t come to God and ask His forgiveness while still lying to Daniel. Even Louisa understood that. Confessing to Daniel, telling him the truth, would mean losing him, if she hadn’t lost him already. How could she decide between a God she didn’t know and a man she loved?
But she couldn’t say no to God if He was as loving as Daniel said. Perhaps her one terrible experience at a church hadn’t been because of God. Perhaps the people who claimed Him could be mean and hateful at times, just like everyone else. Perhaps they were loved by God, but frustrated Him at the same time—like Bradley and his wild ways embarrassed her.
From her intentionally limited contact with the agency women, Louisa hadn’t experienced the censure she’d expected. Certainly, they didn’t recognize her for what she was, but regardless, they accepted her. Comparing their conversation to that of the Cat-Eye Saloon girls was like comparing the purest spring water to swill. No petty bickering, no conniving manipulations. Whatever differences and conflicts did arise were usually brushed aside quickly and neatly.
If God could turn her into a woman like that, Louisa would volunteer immediately, but there was a complication. God had expectations, and Louisa couldn’t take the first step. The thought filled her with dread. So did the thought of Daniel hearing the truth about her. But maybe it didn’t matter. Daniel had kept her at a distance since Daisy’s accident. He’d even discontinued the chess matches that she’d enjoyed so much. When he’d been out one day, she’d set up the pieces and made the first move, but in three nights he’d yet to respond.
Louisa was hurt. He had every right to censure her for taking Daisy into a dangerous area. He claimed it wasn’t Louisa’s fault, but perhaps he didn’t recognize his resentment.
The song ended.
“You weren’t even listening.” Daisy’s welt-covered arms were crossed in front of her chest, and her foot was tapping. “You aren’t paying attention.”
And the general should arrive in two days. They were running out of time. No matter what, Louisa couldn’t embarrass Daniel in front of General Sheridan.
“Sorry, I was woolgathering. Let’s do it again.” She placed her fingers on the beginning chords. “On three . . .”
They practiced for around an hour. Louisa stopped the girls to improve certain phrases, to get the timing right, and most importantly to get the accent right on the Italian songs. She hoped it was right, anyway. All she knew was what she’d heard from Signora Giovanna when she sang, but then she’d found out that Ginny was from New Jersey and had faked her accent, so Louisa had no idea if her words were right or not.
“Wait.” Caroline rushed to the piano and covered the keys. “We haven’t heard your piece yet.”
“No one needs to hear me. I’m only the governess. Now move your hands.”
Caroline refused. “You said that it was proper for us to sing, so why wouldn’t you? Do you think we’re less ladylike than you are?”
If the poor innocent dears only knew. “You are performing to bring your father credit. There’s no reason for me to perform. The general would have no interest in a governess’s ability.”
Boots sounded on the staircase. Someone was coming up. Louisa arranged her hair in expectation. At first glance, she was disappointed to see it was only Lieutenant Jack, but the major following him up the stairs made her heart skip a beat.
“Major Adams and I came to check on you ladies.” Jack’s grin showed that he was obviously unconcerned with his superior’s unease.
When Louisa turned to Daniel, he spoke as if compelled by duty. “Do you need anything for the concert?”
After what had happened to Daisy, Louisa didn’t deserve his regard, but the change in his attitude hurt. She kept her brave face in place, even if it was only a mask. If nothing else, she’d found work that she loved. If not here, then maybe she could leave the fort with a good recommendation. She’d have to learn to be content with that. “We have the music and the instruments,” she said. “Are there decorations?”
“For the Commander of the U.S. Army? This room will be decorated, even in an uprising. Proper respect must be shown.”
“And what news of Agent Dyer and his wife? Has their hiding place been discovered?”
Daniel shook his head. “No, they telephoned this morning. No one knows they are there. The Cheyenne have helped themselves to the storerooms, but the Dyers haven’t been discovered.”
Caroline and Daisy had taken to dancing with invisible partners in the spacious room. The opportunity to speak to Daniel and Jack together couldn’t be ignored. Ever since his accident, Bradley had been after her to do the right thing and tell Daniel about her discovery. Hopefully Lieutenant Hennessey would temper Daniel’s response.
“Major Adams, there is an issue I need to bring to your attention. With everything going on of late, I didn’t want to bother you with it, so maybe you’d prefer Lieutenant Hennessey to assist—”
“I’m at your service,” Daniel interrupted. Jack raised his eyebrows at Daniel’s curt tone.
Louisa opened her portfolio of music and withdrew the missive. “Several days ago, I found this letter near your front door. Someone had slid it past the threshold. I can only surmise that it was intended for Caroline.”
Daniel held the open letter before him. Louisa watched in wonder as his cheeks seemed to flame in sudden color.
Jack leaned over his shoulder. One glance at the letter, and his eyes widened. “That’s your hand—”
Thud! The heel of the major’s boot landed squarely on Jack’s toes. “And that’s your foot,” Daniel said.
Jack’s mouth went tight. “I’m not one for insubordination, but that was uncalled for.”
“Did you read this?” Daniel asked her, ignoring Jack.
“It wasn’t addressed to anyone, so I didn’t know not to. Whoever left a love letter right outside your office was behaving extremely recklessly.”
Jack, still fuming, took a wide step away from Daniel before saying, “
A love letter? That is concerning. What exactly does it say?”
“Jack,” Daniel growled.
But now at a safe distance, Jack couldn’t be reined in. “Major Adams, Miss Bell wants us to identify the author of the letter. Of course I need to know what it says.”
“It was a very well-written letter,” said Louisa, “speaking of longing and affection, but not appropriate if the addressee is a young lady of Caroline’s age.”
“What if the addressee wasn’t Caroline?” Jack’s eyes twinkled.
“Who else could it possibly be?” Louisa asked. “I just thought diligence should be paid if someone is so besotted. While I sympathize with the desperate man, it’s my duty to protect your daughters.”
“A besotted, desperate letter?” Jack whistled. “Hand it over, Daniel. I really should investigate this.”
Daniel shoved the letter into his pocket. “No need. I’ll deal with it.”
“I’m happy to start an inquiry. We’ll make a list of all the suspects—”
“It’s not Private Willis,” Louisa said. Better to clear his name at once. “I showed him the letter, and he’s the one who encouraged me to show it to you.”
If Daniel looked embarrassed before, now he looked ill. “You showed this letter to Private Willis?”
Louisa squirmed. Even Jack’s smile disappeared. She picked at a button on her new dress—the new dress he hadn’t noticed yet. “I knew it wasn’t him, but I wanted to make sure. He told me that I had nothing to worry about—Caroline was safe—but that you would be interested in knowing that I’d found it.”
Daniel’s face was blank. “Excuse me,” he said. He spun on his heel toward the stairs, leaving Louisa confused.
Jack tipped his hat. “Nice dress,” he said with a smile.
“Nice dress,” Daniel called from the stairs. “Of course I noticed.”
Jack winked at her, then ran to catch up with the befuddled major.
Daniel halted in his march to the hospital to pull the letter out of his pocket and scan it. It was just as bad as he remembered. Louisa had read these words? And so had Private Willis. He groaned. He was doing his best, but he couldn’t change how he felt for a woman just because she decided she loved someone else. Shoving the letter back in his pocket, he stomped on, ignoring Jack’s attempt to catch up with him.
He’d told himself that he wouldn’t be moved by her beauty. That from now on he was only concerned with her soul and her work with his girls. But seeing his true feelings written by his own hand only intensified his loss.
He missed Louisa’s company. He missed her conversation, her compassion, her goodness. She might be impulsive and free-spirited, but she was faithful in the ways that mattered. Yes, she was faithful—just not to him.
That didn’t diminish her good qualities, but Daniel was practical. He wouldn’t allow himself to pine after a woman who had her sights set elsewhere. He’d only be getting in her way.
There had to be a reason she’d love a rogue like Bradley Willis. His rescue of Daisy showed that he too had qualities that Daniel had failed to recognize at first, and it was his duty to correct that oversight. He owed it to Willis to help him succeed. Perhaps the young man lacked fatherly guidance. Perhaps he needed a role model. Had Daniel already been too hard on him and missed that opportunity? He hoped not. And he mustn’t be an obstacle to Louisa, either, as she learned more about God. She had to feel comfortable coming to him with her questions, no matter how hard it was for him to hide his regard.
“Is there anything you want to talk about?” Jack was a little out of breath but determined. “Usually when someone takes pen to paper with no intention of ever sending the letter, it means they want someone to listen.”
“An immature and ridiculous thing for me to do.”
“But honest. I’m sure whatever you wrote was honest.”
Daniel wanted to walk away, but Jack had always been transparent about his own heartbreak with Miss Walker, and Daniel had never thought less of him for it.
“She doesn’t love me and likely never will. I don’t know when it happened, but she’s in love with another.” As hard as it was to say, he felt better for saying it.
“Here at the fort?” Jack rolled his eyes. “How would she have even met someone here?”
“I can’t get involved. She works for me, and the man is under my command. I have no right to interfere.”
“So you’ll go moping around, pining for your lady? Let me know if you need help with that. I’m quite the expert.”
“Thanks for the offer. Now go get a report from Ben Clark and see when we can expect the reinforcements.”
“Yes, sir,” Jack said. “But before I go, how is Private Willis faring?”
Daniel choked down his annoyance. Jack’s shots always seemed to hit the mark. “I’m going to check on him now.” Because he should. It was the right thing to do.
“I’ve been worried about him. We were so shorthanded that he hasn’t had many visitors, but Miss Bell was good to look in on him.”
Daniel was itching to whack Jack upside the head, but it was unnecessary. Jack slapped his own forehead. “Private Willis? Is he your rival? Why in the world would she prefer a private to an officer? I mean, he is a good horseman, I’ll give him that. And you won’t find a better shot, but—”
“I’m a better shot.” Daniel might have had his heart broken, but his pride was still intact.
“Yes, sir, Major Adams. Absolutely, you’re a better shot. Maybe you should challenge him to a contest to impress your lady, after the manner of Robin Hood. Unfortunately, poor underdog Willis has more in common with Robin Hood, and that’d make you the Sheriff of Nottingham, so a contest might not work out. And then there’s the fact that he’s in the hospital because he saved your daughter’s life. Now, that kind of heroic act is nearly impossible to overcome. Ladies love a self-sacrificing hero on death’s door.” He shrugged. “Come to think of it, you might not have the strongest case, after all.”
Sometimes, in his eagerness to come to a logical conclusion, Jack forgot to consider the delicate feelings of his superior.
Daniel filled his lungs with a long draw of the sultry summer air. “Forget about Miss Bell and Private Willis. Forget I said anything. And most of all, forget about that letter.”
Jack saluted, one eyebrow cocked high and hidden beneath the band of his hat.
With nothing to do besides his duty, Daniel strode the short distance to the hospital.
He found Willis sitting on the edge of his bed in his undershirt and striped trousers. His pant legs stopped mid-calf, exposing bare feet. He flicked another playing card toward a clean spittoon—at least Daniel assumed it was clean—and grunted when the card missed and fell to join the other dozen cards on the floor.
At Daniel’s arrival, Willis took a second glance before leaping to his feet in a sharp salute.
“At ease,” Daniel said. While the young man hadn’t quite regained his complexion, his movements were that of a healthy trooper. “Where’s Doc?”
Willis swung his arm down and hitched up his britches. “He’s rejoined his unit on patrol. He said I didn’t need him anymore. I’m just waiting for permission to get back to work.”
Doc hadn’t released him? “Permission from whom?”
“From you, of course. Can I sit?” At Daniel’s nod, Willis plopped on his bed and fished beneath the rumpled blanket until he located two socks, then began to pull them on. “I’ve been pacing this cell—room, but it feels like a cell—until I’m about to go mad. We’re patrolling again, aren’t we? I can hear the troopers ride past, and I’m flat-out itching to get into the saddle.” He located his boots beneath the bed. “Another day in here and I’ll go loco. So glad—”
He spoke just like he rode—fast and furious—but hitting all the marks. Maybe he wasn’t intentionally a troublemaker. Maybe he was just high-strung. A lot of troopers on base would enjoy a few days’ sick leave. It did Daniel’s heart good to hear a
trooper excited about getting back to his job.
Maybe Willis would be good for Louisa. Maybe he’d make something of himself, after all.
Daniel looked again at the young man. There was something he needed to tell him. Something he owed him. But first he had a question.
“You knew, didn’t you?” Daniel asked. “You knew that hornet stings could be deadly for you.”
Bradley’s head popped up. “I joined the cavalry to help my country. To make a difference. If saving a child’s life doesn’t fit that description, then I don’t know what does.”
Daniel felt some of the muscles in his neck unknotting. Maybe he could do this.
“I know your secret.” Daniel pulled a chair over and sat across from Bradley, whose eyes had narrowed in suspicion. “I know you have been secretly meeting with Miss Bell, and that’s what I want to talk to you about.”
“Go on.”
Daniel had never seen the private so wary. His fear did him credit.
“Such meetings will not be tolerated. Miss Bell is a lady, and were that activity brought to light, it would expose her to the harshest criticism. You are a young, reckless man. Many young reckless men sow their wild oats, then travel on to the next assignment, but Miss Bell will be held to a higher standard. Her reputation and her livelihood are in jeopardy.”
“It was her idea,” Bradley said.
And just like that, Daniel wanted to throttle him, but he mastered the urge and continued.
“I heartily advise you not to interrupt me again,” he warned. “I will tell you when you can speak.” He stood and paced the room. “What I came to say is that, while I disapprove of the manner in which you and Miss Bell are meeting, if you wish to court her properly, then, considering the grave danger you placed yourself in on behalf of my daughter—I can hardly disapprove.”
Daniel found himself leaning against Bowen’s medicine cabinet, the various jars and bottles blurring before his eyes. His chest was tight, but he forced out the final words.
Holding the Fort Page 23
