by Leanne Davis
“Hey,” she softly whispered back. Their mouths were only centimeters apart. The rest of the world, the dorm, and her cousins, could have simply vanished and gone totally extinct for how intense and heated the ensuing eye lock felt to her.
With a shudder, she stepped back, bringing Derek into the dorm room. Her cousins were staring at her with unmasked shock evident on their astonished faces. Kylie sat on her bed, and Ally leaned against her desk and glanced at Derek.
“These are my cousins, Ally and Kylie. This is Derek,” she said as she tilted her head and bugged her eyes out. She was hoping they’d quit staring at Derek like he was an alien walking among them.
Ally stepped forward first and grinned, “Derek, nice to meet you. So you’re Liv’s guy, huh?”
Olivia burned up. She should have warned them not to label him as anything. Derek’s gaze traveled down to her eyes. “Am I?”
“Any guy she lets kiss her so casually hello, well, then, yeah.”
Again, his gaze settled on Olivia, nearly burning into her, at least, that’s what it felt like. She kept her eyes unfocused and drifting around the room. Kylie saved her after they made eye contact and Olivia silently pleaded for Kylie to shut Ally up. “Well, let’s get out of here and have a good time.”
“Yes, let’s,” Olivia quickly replied, turning without looking towards Derek. Damn Ally! She was purposely making her sound as pathetic and new at this as she could. She didn’t have to make it seem so unbelievable that a guy actually came there for her. She could have just played it cool. But oh, no. Ally considered Olivia a fun, little pet whose previous innocence had been the source of much amusement. Okay, in all honesty, Ally couldn’t forget how lame Olivia was as a teenager.
The party was only a few blocks off campus. Walking together, Ally did all the talking and only to Derek. She never had a problem making conversation. She flirted and smiled, while Olivia gritted her teeth and bit her tongue to avoid lashing out at Ally. She knew Ally wasn’t doing it on purpose, but she couldn’t stand to let a guy, any guy, ignore her. She was used to getting all the attention, which she naturally attained.
The house was bumping from the outside and people spilled out of it. They entered together. Olivia spent many weekends the previous year partying on campus with Kylie and Ally. Her cousins were well known and popular, but for very diverse reasons. They were stopped as their friends hugged and squealed over the two, while Olivia seemed to be merely tolerated, almost as an afterthought.
She became keenly aware of Derek’s presence beside her, and he remained at her elbow at all times. He shook his head no when someone offered him a beer. Surprised, Olivia sipped hers and leaned towards him. “You don’t want one?”
Didn’t all freshman guys drink? Looking around, she noticed there were more loud, drunken, funny guys than girls. “I don’t drink.”
She was mildly shocked. She started to ask why when someone came up behind them. and shoved Derek’s shoulder before nearly yelling, “Derek! What the hell are you doing here?”
Derek’s mouth tightened for just a second before he turned towards the tall kid beside them. He had to look up to see him. With his hands shoved in his pockets, Derek hunched his shoulders forward. “Hey, man. What’s up?”
“Haven’t seen you around in while. What you got? Anything good?”
Derek’s smile seemed strained to Olivia, but maybe she was reading too much into his reaction. The kid was their age, but his eyes were red-rimmed and he could barely stand. Derek pushed Olivia off to the side before leaning in to say something to the guy. His eyes rounded and he shook his head as Derek slapped his shoulder and seemed to be sending him off.
Derek’s smile returned when he faced her again. The raucous crowd talked and laughed and bumped around them. Music vibrated through her feet and up into her head. “Your cousin makes friends fast, huh?”
She turned her head towards where he indicated. Kylie was in a tongue-smashing-lock with some guy she’d never seen before. “Yeah. College life is her nirvana.”
They were interrupted this time by some girls in her math class who started talking and chatting. The beer soon warmed her up, and her usual Olivia-ness became less obvious as she started to relax and lighten up. They all squealed and talked while Derek stayed right next to her. He didn’t so much as give her an inch of room apart from him. His eyes at all times kept scanning the room. He seemed weirdly obsessed about it. After three refills in her red cup from the keg, Olivia’s feet began feeling heavy and her heart grew light. Her laugh came easier, but her movements were getting harder to maneuver. She saw Kylie going up the stairs, holding someone’s hand. Ally was off talking with a large group of girls. And she was holding Derek’s hand. The party was loud and crowded. Derek had taken her hand at some point and didn’t let go again. She’d never had a guy hold her hand like that. Yeah, middle school-aged kids did, but never with her.
She did not mean to remain a virgin until now. It wasn’t a conscious decision. Never having had much of a crush or even liking any particular guy, none of them could capture her interest very long, not like Derek did right from the start. The tipsier she got, the more attractive he became and the better it felt to be with him.
She leaned on him more as they mingled with different crowds. She knew a lot of them from her popular cousins. She rode their coattails just as she’d done in high school. All her close friends were in band with her. That was something her cousins always ridiculed. This was the first time being out with them when she didn’t feel like a lame, pitied, third wheel. Derek Salazar was beside her, and he gave her a sense of confidence at this party that she’d never experienced before. She felt awesome. There was no other way to describe it. Girls looked Derek up and down, even giving Olivia a little more respect because he was so hot and holding Olivia’s hand. It made her feel like she belonged, instead of another replay of her role as the odd outsider. Always liked, Olivia was never really one to party with.
Lots of people knew Derek, and many came over and slapped his back, or fist-bumped him. Often, he leaned away from her to speak with them, but she couldn’t hear quite what he said. Sometimes, he stepped away, or addressed larger groups he obviously knew. He might not have been into the college thing, but he sure knew a lot of people from her school.
Finally, at nearly one o’clock, he snagged the beer she was trying to get to her lips. “Think you’ve had enough for tonight, little freshman.”
She grabbed for his hand, which he held up with her drink and all. His reach was only an inch beyond hers. She tried to jump, but nearly teetered over backwards, and had to snatch hold of his shirt to catch her balance. “You know, you’re short for a guy.”
His mouth lifted up, but showed no anger, just amusement. “Yeah. I know. Still tall enough to outreach your drunken, little ass, though.”
She squeezed the fabric of his shirt in both fists. “It doesn’t seem to bother you.”
“What?”
“I don’t know. Being shorter than other guys. I like that. You’re not insecure.”
He shrugged. “Well, I can’t very well stretch myself out, can I? What’s the point? Besides, very few ever mess with me.”
“Cause you’re so tough,” she mumbled, smiling. She was still aware enough to realize she might be slurring just a bit.
His gaze roamed over her face and his expression seemed more tender, or softened, or perhaps it was her beer goggles that made it seem so. “Did you have fun tonight?”
“I think so.”
“I think you’re going to hurt tomorrow. Why don’t we go back to your dorm?”
“Is that an invitation?
“To make sure you get home safely? Yeah.”
He tugged on her hand and pulled her out of the fully raging party. Ally waved at her, but Kylie was nowhere to be seen. “What about your cousins?”
“Ally just waved me off; and Kylie’s probably off with some guy… or maybe, a girl.”
His mouth compressed
. “You don’t leave your friends at places like this. That’s when shit happens.”
What was he so worried about? She was surprised that he never once touched the beer or any other substance so easily attainable there. He clearly instructed her to wait right there, before finding both of her cousins. Kylie was so messed up, he had to drag her behind him. She was staggering and groping her way just to stand upright. Her hair was loosened from her ponytail and her makeup was smudged every which way.
“This is why you don’t leave friends. Ally, is fine. I had a conversation with her. This one here, however, is done for the night.”
She followed behind him as he nearly had to carry Kylie. Okay, he was right. She started sobering up a little as they walked down the dark streets and the loud noise faded in the distance behind them. He was semi-carrying Kylie when Olivia finally managed to catch up to him.
“Are you mad at me?”
The question was strange. She’d done nothing wrong. Simply acted her age. Had some fun. Giggled with some other girls. Why would he be mad? It’s not like she went off and did whatever Kylie did to be like her, and stink like she did.
He stopped dead in his tracks. Kylie’s head was lolling against his shoulder, and her arms were looped around his neck. Her face dropped against her chest. He didn’t seem particularly concerned that her cousin was draped over him. He acted more like she was an awkward piece of luggage than the sexual, hot girl most guys thought Kylie to be.
His eyes caught and held her gaze. “I’m not mad at you. I just don’t trust this shit. What would you have done if I weren’t here? Stumble home alone? With Ally? With this one here? Who the hell knows what could happen when you’re in this state? I don’t like the odds on that. I have no interest in being so fucked up for no real reason.”
She tried to puzzle out his personality. “You really don’t drink?”
“I really don’t. I have no interest in being like that.” He jiggled Kylie’s prone body.
“I thought, well, I really thought you’d be a huge partier.”
“Well, I’m not. I go to parties. I just never get like you. Do you know all the shit that can happen?”
He was worried? She shook her head. It was so not what she expected. “So, you’re not mad at me?”
His expression softened. “No. I’m here. But only this time. You don’t even know me. What if I were the kind of guy to take advantage of you? How do you so easily trust that I won’t be? You don’t know, and you don’t have very good judgment right now. You’re naive and come from a sheltered background, so you really can’t trust your judgment. Shit, you probably think I’m a good idea for you. So, no. I don’t trust you.”
He turned and started down the sidewalk. He didn’t trust her? She nearly choked on her own indignation at hearing that. He should have just loosened up. They were college freshmen, for chrissakes, and this was just the start. The fun was about to begin. The only time they ever got to live like that.
Still, Kylie’s prone body being dragged/carried home wasn’t all that sexy, or fun to witness. Maybe he had a few good points.
****
Derek hauled the anorexic train wreck that was somehow related to Olivia, home. He did not get it. Kylie’s gothic, screw-you look, and rude behavior were the antithesis of Olivia. Yet the affection and understanding these two shared, sometimes with only a look, seemed real enough. The thought of sweet, good, innocent, Olivia ever being in Kylie’s condition left his stomach in knots. No. She wasn’t like that. She wasn’t like the losers that he sold the shit too. She was different. She was special. Even if she were currently stumbling behind him and looking around all happy-like.
He just spent the last four hours warning people to stay away from him, and be discreet. He didn’t think Olivia picked up on any of it. She probably just assumed he was well known and liked and quite popular. As if. He didn’t have a single friend among them.
Except, possibly her.
Some friend he was. He lifted Kylie into the elevator and pressed the button as Olivia slouched against the opposite wall. He didn’t like seeing her drunk. It was sloppy and typical. She wasn’t meant for that. She was gifted. Unusual. Totally above that high school shit.
She was so above him. He should have deposited her into her room and left her forever. But what if she decided to go to more parties like that? He couldn’t stomach thinking of her being alone at them. Some guy, like him, hurting her, or taking advantage of her. No! Fuck. She had no idea how many scumbags, losers, psychos and assholes attended those parties.
Still, he couldn’t just leave her alone like he should have.
She became more giggly and sillier the drunker she got. She hung onto him in ways she never did before. She even kissed his mouth several times. She went ahead of him and dug around in her hoodie, searching for her dorm key, which she finally produced before unlocking the door. He was mostly carrying Kylie now. He set her on her bed and pushed her back. She fell over to her side, facing the wall, and remained completely out.
He turned toward Olivia who was now tugging at her sweatshirt. She finally got it over her head and ungracefully managed to wrestle her arms out of it. His breath caught. Her tank top left her collarbones showing, as well as her long, slim arms. When she turned to the side, her thin, fragile frame was so small, he could have spanned her shoulders with his fingers. Her bra strap peeked out as her hair slid around her chest and back. She giggled and his eyes reluctantly lifted off her. She wasn’t trying to be seductive. She fell back onto her bed when she couldn’t seem to finagle getting her shoe off.
“The room’s moving.”
“It’s not.” He softly chuckled as he squatted down on his haunches and pulled her foot into his hands. After undoing the laces, he pulled the boot off her. They were unfeminine, big laces, that went all the way up to her knees. She swung her other foot toward him and he took off the other boot too. She put her arm over her eyes.
“It really is, Derek. It’s moving all around. Like a rollercoaster.”
“It’s you, sweetheart. It’s all you.”
She turned over on her side so she was facing him. “Derek?”
He was close to her now, and they were at eye level although he still kneeled on the floor. Her tone became strangely serious. “Yeah?”
“I think I really like you.”
His heart did something weird. It shifted in his chest and his lungs felt like they expanded too fast and cut off his air supply. He reached out and cupped her chin in his hand. “Bad idea.” He wasn’t sure she heard him. She closed her eyes and covered his hand. He stared at their clasped hands. She held his as trustingly as a child does a parent’s. In so many ways, and in contrast to him, she was a child. A sweet, clueless, naive child who would have been shocked and horrified to know what he was. But… he could not keep himself away from her.
She opened her eyes and tugged on his arm as an invitation. He hesitated a moment. He should not be doing that. He had no right to. But he did it anyway. He slipped onto her bed next to her and she scooted against his body. His arms settled around her and her head came to rest on his shoulder. She put her arms around his chest and quit moving. She stayed against him until her breathing became regular and she fell asleep.
He’d never lain like that with a girl before. Never. Not once had he held a girl in a platonic, almost sisterly way as she slept. But there was nothing sisterly about how he felt. He should have left. She didn’t invite him to stay. It would, no doubt, be awkward and awful in the morning. It would be stupid to stay. As stupid as each time he saw her.
But maybe he could stay with her for a few more minutes. Maybe he could let her warmth radiate through him, touching him, and replacing something dark and evil inside him with her pure trust. Her uncompromised goodness. Her ease in touching him.
Chapter Five
DEREK WOKE UP AS the morning light slanted into the room. He lifted his head and let it flop back on the pillow. Damn it! He’d fallen asleep with
Olivia in his arms, and now it was daylight. There was no sneaking out. He glanced to his side. She slept still, with her butt backed into his crotch and underneath his arm. Sighing, she pushed her body toward him. His cock had already sprung and was hard against her.
He felt her suddenly stiffen and wake up. She pulled her butt away from his hard-on and her entire back stiffened. It hurt. Like he needed her, or needed relief; it was that kind of hurt. Her hair was tangled around his hands and chest.
He pulled her towards him. Knowing he was going to hell anyway, or should be for the life he lived, and always being selfish and cold, how could one nice girl change that? She let him tuck her against him as his hands stayed on her chest and their feet tangled at the end of the bed. She finally turned over to lie flat so he could look into her eyes. They were open and searching his face. Without a word, he leaned down and started kissing her, morning breath and all. Alcohol was still thick on her breath. It should have turned him off, but it didn’t. He pushed his tongue inside her mouth as his hands rubbed up and down her small chest. He didn’t really feel anything, just a bunched-up shirt and the lines of her bra, but the heat of her body nearly singed his hand. He kept doing it over and over because he liked the radiant heat almost more than he wanted to touch her boobs.
His hands followed the contour of her waist before moving down along the outside of her legs. She kissed him just as hard as he kissed her. He felt like pushing her shirt up, and sucking on her nipples before burying the aching stiffness of his hard-on into her simmering softness. He wanted to do it so badly, he started to sweat and had to control his hands, becoming more gentle. He finally lifted his mouth from hers.
Her eyelids fluttered open. His head was still right over hers, and she smiled up at him. Her eyes were big and soft and turned on, yet so innocent. She didn’t realize where his thoughts were. Somehow, he knew she was thinking about this, and not what could happen next.
